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Ohh, God. I can't handle this, I can't handle this.

I collapse onto my bed and stare at the ceiling, suddenly picturing a black hole, hoping all my troubles would fall into it.

A trick I taught myself after my mum died.

Sometimes, like now, it doesn't work.

I reach over to the table next to my bed and find my remote. Once it's in my hand, I sit up and turn on some music. Specifically a playlist of my saddest songs.

I fall back onto my bed once more and place my hands over my tear-stained face, beginning to process what just happened.

Why is he doing this to me? He pretends all day that he doesn't care about me, making fun of me.. And then goes and kisses me.

What did he think I was going to do? That I was just going to melt in his arms and kiss him back? I mean, sure, I would've loved to kiss him.. but I'm glad I didn't.

I remove my hands from my face and just lay there, thinking over everything.

..Am I, though?

But wait, he didn't say he loved me, or even that he liked me. Just that he misses me sometimes. And then kissed me.

God, I am so thick. He probably did it because he felt bad for me. He probably knows exactly how I feel about him, and he did it to play with me. Artie and Angie must've told him I love him.

Wait..

I sit up straight and wipe the tears from my face, realizing what I've just thought.

Oh, my God. I love him.

Before I can deny, let alone process my last thought, a knock comes from the door.

"Clara..?" Comes a small, feminine voice.

"Who is it?" I say, very unevenly.

"It's Angie. Can I come in, please?"

I clear my throat, trying to make my voice steady, and reply, "Uhm, yeah, fine."

She opens the door a bit, and walks in, carefully shutting it behind her.

I wipe yet another tear from my cheek using the palm of my hand, and Angie, taking note of this, immediately comes to my side.. and hugs me.

"Clara, can we please talk about this?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Angie." I say, then walking to my bed, Angie still attached at the hip.

"Yes there is! You know there is!"

"No, there's not, Angie. It's nothing. Okay? Nothing. Now please, just leave me alone." I snap at her.

She looks at me like I've just torn out her heart.

"Okay. I- okay." She says, and stands up from the bed.

"No, Angie, wait." I say as she begins to leave.

She turns back to me, her eyes on the verge of tears. "It's okay, Clara. I understand."

"Angie.. Please, come back."

"Clara, it's clear you just want to be alone. And I understand that. But pushing me away isn't going to help. It'll only make you feel worse. I'll come back up in 15 minutes.. okay?" she says.

"I'm not trying to push you away, Angie. It's just, everything is happening really fast and I don't know what to do about it all." I say, trying not to cry. My attempts are unsuccessful, and a tear breaks free, rolling down my cheek and hitting the floor.

Angie walks back over to me and sits down, hugging me once more. This time, I hug back.

"Sweetie, what are you confused about? Because right now, this whole situation doesn't make any sense. You love him, and that's clear. He loves you. He made a move, and suddenly you're taking a break from traveling with him and upstairs crying alone in your room. So tell me.. Why are you confused?"

We break apart, and I look at her, staining the white carpet on my floor with mascara-filled tears.

"He just did it to pity me, Angie. That's all. That's the only reason. He felt bad that I love him and he doesn't love me back, so he kissed me. There was nothing behind it. Every day, he acts like he doesn't care about me, then suddenly he kisses me. There's no other explanation for it."

"Of course, there is! He's in love with you! He didn't do it to pity you, he did it because we told him to!"

"You told him to?" I say, disbelieving that she and Artie would do this to me.

"No, Clara, not like that." She starts as I stand up and back away from her.

"You told him to kiss me? Angie, I trusted you! I told you how I felt about him and you went and threw it in my face. God, how could you?"

"No, it's not-"

"Hah. You know, you think you know someone. You tell them everything and trust them with your life," I begin, then walk towards the door and pick up my jacket from the rack next to it. I turn back around and face her. "Then they stab you in the back."

By this time, Angie is fully crying. "Please, Clara."

"I'm done dealing with this." I say, then walk out the door and slam it behind me.

My own fault for thinking I could trust someone 9 years younger than me.

"Hey Clara!" Artie says.

Blatantly ignoring him, I run directly out the front door, not stopping for anything.

The TARDIS is gone from where it's usually parked.

Weird.. I didn't hear him leave.

I continue running until I arrive in Chiswick Park. Not far from the Maitlands' home.

From there, I take a bus to wherever.

About an hour later, the bus stops, and I find myself getting off in the dark.

There's not much around, just a bench next to the bus stop and what looks like a gas station across the street.

I take advantage of the bench, and splay myself out over it. All the thoughts of the day come rushing back and I can't keep my eyes dry for even a second.

I close my eyes and the tears break free from under my eyelids and soft sobs escape from my mouth.

What the hell do I do?

I hope to God that no one can see me right now, because I'm sure I'm a complete wreck.

Where am I?

I sit up and look around for a sign, any indication of where I might be. When I can't find anything, I grudgingly get up from the bench and walk across the street to the gas station.

"Whoo. Haven't seen you around here before! What can I get 'ya, gorgeous?" the man behind the counter says.

People are so gross, I swear.

"Don't call me that. I just need to know what town this is." I snap.

"Geez, no need to be snappy."

"Listen, I've had one of the worst days in my life today. Just tell me where I am."

"You're in Oxford."

Oxford. Close to where mum's buried.

"Thanks." I say, walking out of the store. The gas station is deserted, as is the area surrounding it, but I don't care. There's only one person I want to be with right now.

Mum.