Recovery Conversations
"Nick, I know it's a lot to ask, but could you go and grab me another veggie burger?"
"Another one? That'll be your fourth one today."
"I'm malnourished!"
"Yeah, more like malicious."
"If you can spell 'malicious,' you don't have to go and get the burger."
"…"
"That's what I thought, go get the burger."
…
"Nick?"
"Hmm?"
"You got a new security system, right? Since they never figured out how ours was hacked, you just went and got a new one, right?"
"Uhhh, yeah, I did."
"You have not been in that house with my four children when that security system has been proven to not be entirely safe."
"I get the feeling I'm going to get yelled at no matter what I say here."
…
"Hey, Carrots, do you think they'd let me bring a toaster into your hospital room?"
…
"Do you remember when you let your crazed murderous ex-girlfriend spend that night in the apartment with us?"
"Yes, Carrots, I remember."
"Just thought I'd check."
…
"Bet you can't make that balled up piece of paper into that trashcan from where you're sitting."
"How much are we talking about, Carrots?"
"Twenty dollars?"
"You know I'm just going to take it out of your wallet if I miss, right?"
"I know, I'm just bored, so you might as well try."
…
"You don't have any other crazy ex-girlfriends, do you?"
…
"Ugh, this stupid cast is so heavy. It practically weighs more than me!"
"Mm-hmm, that's nice, Carrots."
"You aren't even listening to me!"
"I'm reading some very good fanfiction so just calm down for a moment, will ya?"
…
"Nick, can I teach you how to crochet?"
…
"Chapter 26: The Cave."
"Carrots, how many times are you going to read Harry Otter to me?"
…
"Wait, wait, did you say Mrs. Boer watched the kids?"
"Yeah, but don't get your hopes up, Carrots, I'm still not completely sure she didn't poison one of the kids."
"We should get her something to say 'thank you!'"
"Did you not just hear what I said?"
…
"Carrots, you gotta see this funny video. Come on, wake up, we all know you're faking it."
…
"I called Chief Bogo 'Mr. Hot Head' at one point."
"I called Valerie 'Val.'"
"Wow, that was a dangerous move."
"Yeah, I don't know if you know, but I'm a little bit of a risk taker."
…
"Nick, have you ever thought about having more kids?"
"What?"
"What?"
…
"Carrots, stop throwing pillows at me!"
"That's not me."
"You're the only one in here!"
"Then the place is haunted."
"Steal my jokes again, Rabbit, and just watch what happens."
…
"Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?"
"Aw, Nick, that's so sweet!"
"I was talking to the nurse."
…
"Chapter 27: The Lightning-Struck Tower."
"Ugh!"
…
"Do you remember when you let your crazed murderous ex-girlfriend spend that night in the apartment with us while I was pregnant with your four children?"
"Are you done yet?"
…
"You look good in that gown and cast, Carrots."
"Oh, whatever."
"Sexy little marshmallow-ghost: part two, broken sexy little marshmallow-ghost."
…
"This is a really good cop movie, Nick, I'm impressed with your movie choice."
"I don't know, I think the relationship between those two partners is weird."
"What? They're clearly in love."
"No, that's not it."
"Let me rephrase it: they're clearly sleeping together."
"That's it."
…
"Be honest, what did you think when you picked up the phone and it was me?"
"I thought 'oh, no! She knows I didn't clean the dishes properly!'"
…
"Okay, you're going to kill me… but just one more veggie burger, please?"
"Unbelievable."
"I said 'please!'"