chapter six: Gunpoint
I have updated so soon, because i want to finish this story quickly. I am just updating chapter five, and now this is chapter six, so quickly. This is not the end of the story, even though it may seem like it. Please don't think of Reid or Hotch as bad people for what they do in this chapter. This chapter is intense, and emotional. The Aaron and Spencer thing, it caused a conflict in the story, and this is sort of the resolution in the end of the conflict. But, the conflict of Reid being himself, is still not solved, and it's getting there slowly. He's becoming more like himself now.
Aaron opened the door of the room with his keys, and saw Spencer on the bed. He dropped everything, and ran towards him. Crap.
Spencer was laying sideways on the bed, his eyes closed, his left arm bleeding, and his gun pressed at the bottom of his chin. He had still been crying because his face was wet with tears. When he noticed Hotch coming towards him, he got up erratically, and kneeled on the bed. Hotch froze in place a few feet away from the bed, his eyes on Reid. The gun was still held to his head, and drops of blood were running down his arm. Reid sobbed and pressed the gun tighter against his skin.
"Reid, put the gun down, please" Hotch spoke gently, raising his arms showing that he wasn't a threat. He quickly glanced at Reid's arm, and was a bit relieved when he noticed the cut was not that deep.
"There's no point! It's over!" Reid exclaimed as he cried.
"It may look and seem like it's over, but it's not. I promise, things will get better." Hotch said in a calm tone.
"Please Hotch, let me die" Reid begged. Hotch was quiet for a few seconds, as Reid hoped for a 'Yes'.
"I can't let you die, Spen-" Hotch was cut off by Spencer's loud cry, as he moved the gun to the side of his head, and shook.
"It's over, there's no point! No one wants me, and look what i've done! I kissed you. You must think of me as a disgusting animal" he cried, and pulled the safety trigger of the gun, which hadn't been pulled yet.
"I don't think of you as a disgusting animal, Spencer. I want you alive, and i care about you" Hotch took a step forward.
"Step back Hotch! I'm going to go through with this you can't stop me!" Spencer yelped. Hotch took a step back.
"Then do it" Hotch said, firmly. He took another step back. Spencer sobbed, and tears started flowing. His hand shook, as he reached for the trigger. Hotch watched closely.
"Leave" Spencer said, as he backed up slowly onto the wall in back of the bed.
"I'm not leaving" the other stated.
"Y..you w..w..want m..me to do i..it i.n f..front.. of y..y..y..ou.?" Spencer stuttered as his heart beat sped, and his hands got sweaty.
"Yes" Hotch stated. He knew what was going to happen. He set himself up. He backed away towards the door, his eyes on Spencer, as he kicked the door of the room that he had left open when he arrived.
"Y..You would like me to die?" Spencer asked, defensively.
"No. I don't want you to die." Hotch mentioned, as Reid's hand shook.
"Then why do you want me to kill myself in front of you!" Spencer screamed.
"I..." Hotch kept quiet. Here it goes.
"You want me to die! Why would you want that! Why! Have you always wanted me dead, huh Aaron?" Spencer accused, saying Hotch's name bitterly. He removed his gun from his head, and pointed it at Hotch.
"Why!" he asked, pointing the gun out, and crying.
"Would you like to feel this way? Like you want to die! Like you are going to die!" Spencer shouted, his voice broken, and got closer to Aaron. Hotch took his gun out, and lifted it in the air, defensively.
"I don't want to hurt you, Spencer" he said calmly, and Reid didn't move his gun away. He put his hand on the trigger, and Hotch brought his gun forward.
"Careful, Reid. Are you sure you want to do that? Kill me?" Hotch stated, and Reid screamed.
"You'd kill me. You would kill me! .. H.. Hotch? Don't... Don't lie!" he cried.
"I don't want to kill you, i would never want to hurt you. But i have a shot that would not be lethal, and if you are going to shoot me, i need to shoot you down. You won't die. Deal?"
"W..Whats wrong with me?" Spencer asked, and dropped on his knees, but the gun was still held out.
"Do you want me to help you, Spencer?"
"You hate me, because i kissed you" the younger man stated.
"I don't hate you. I love you. Please, put the gun down. I would never want to hurt you." Hotch said gently, as Reid's hand shook, while he slowly put the gun to the corner of the bed.
Immediately, Hotch put his gun down, and ran over to Reid, moving the gun off the bed. Spencer squirmed and tried to get away from Hotchs grasp, as Hotch pinned Reid's wrists down on the bed. Reid cried and looked away from Hotch's eyes.
"Spencer, look at me" Hotch commanded. Spencer squirmed under Hotch's strong hold, and looked at him.
"This is not your fault. I tempted you to hold that gun at me on purpose, do you understand?" he said, firmly, in a serious tone.
"No.." the other said.
"Listen to me, i love you, okay? I would never want to hurt you. What i did was necessary, and you do not have to feel guilty. You were at a point where you weren't thinking or responding rationally. It's fine, the important thing, is that you are okay. It's not your fault, are we clear?" Hotch spoke intensely, and Reid nodded.
"I understand" he spoke lightly. Then, he hesitated. Hotch questioned his look.
"I'm still sorry. I'm sorry" he cried, and sniffed. Hotch held both the younger mans wrists in one hand, and used the other to wipe away Spencer's tears.
"It's okay Spencer, I love you" Hotch said, for a moment, his eyes getting watery.
"I.. i love you too, Aaron" Spencer whispered, smiling.
"That's what i like to see, your smile" Hotch smiled. Reid struggled against Hotch's hold, and looked at the older man pleadingly.
"I'm not letting go yet" Hotch mentioned, and Spencer made a small 'oh' sound. He closed his eyes, and calmed himself down, bending his knees up slightly.
"I will know when" Hotch stated, and Spencer nodded without opening his eyes. Hotch stared at Reid's pained expression for a few minutes, until he relaxed for a while, and Hotch let go. Spencer was quiet, eyes still closed, as he laid on the bed.
"I'll be back, can you wait for me a few minutes?" Aaron asked cautiously.
"Y..Yes. Please be back soon. Please" Spencer nodded, and Aaron agreed. He got up, and grabbed both his and Spencer's gun. He put his back on the holster, and put Spencer's in a safe in the room, entering a lock code.
Hotch walked downstairs quickly, running into Rossi on the way. He stopped for a moment, and sighed.
"There's blood on your shirt, Aaron" Rossi pointed out blankly. Hotch looked over at his shirt sleeve.
"Dave can you ask if they have a first aid kit? You probably look better than i do. I don't want them wondering." he inquired and Rossi nodded.
"I'm wondering myself, I'll be back" he murmured.
Two minutes later, he was back, with a small first aid kit. He handed it to Aaron and patted him on the shoulder.
"The things that go on with you, Hotch" he joked, and then returned to a serious face.
"I've been very distracted from the team, i owe you guys an apology. I've barely been there. So hasn't Reid." Hotch apologized.
"It's fine. It's not like you went on vacation" Rossi joked, and Hotch dismissed himself.
He quickly walked to the room, and unlocked the door. Reid was laying in the same position as when he'd left, and that relieved him. Reid sat up, and looked down at the blanket.
"Come here, Spencer" Hotch called from the bathroom. Reid got up and wondered what was going on, until he remembered the large cut a few inches above his left wrist. It had hurt so much, that now, it felt numb.
"Sit" he told him, and Reid sat on the toilet. Hotch started cleaning up the blood with soapy water in a cloth. It was stuck in places, and he apologized to Reid for the pain it caused. He started putting medicine over the cut, when Reid laughed a bit.
"I feel like.. a kid" he said lightly, and blushed.
"It's fine, Reid. I'm happy helping you. I want you to be okay and happy." Hotch said, as he covered the large cut with gauze, and then wrapped it up. Half of Reid's arm length was wrapped now, covering the cut.
"There" Hotch smiled a bit. Despite all the circumstances, they were able to show smiles, and a few laughs.
"Are you ready to go out?" Hotch questioned, and Reid stared for a moment, thinking of everything.
"I... I'm not sure" he said softly.
"The team is taking a break now. If you want, we can join them, and you can talk to them about how you feel, would you want to do that?" Hotch asked, and Reid nodded.
"Only a little bit of talking.. What about the case?" he hesitated.
"Reid, i'm sorry, but you can't work under all these circumstances right now. I'm pretty sure we have the unsub nailed, we might leave tomorrow morning. I want you safe, Spencer." Hotch explained, and Spencer nodded, even though a small part of him broke off.
"Can i wear your sweater?"
"Yes" Hotch smiled, and took Reid's hand in his.
"I think i miss my messenger bag" he spoke in a small voice.
"I know.. you'll get back to it in a day or two. Do you think you'll wear it with you?" Hotch asked.
"I don't know.." the younger man replied, shrugging his shoulders. Hotch pulled Reid up, and wrapped his arms around him. Reid began crying, and hugged Hotch back.
"I still feel broken" he said, burying his face in Hotch's shirt.
"It's okay. You don't have to be so strong. It's okay." Aaron comforted him, and moved back and forth in a comforting motion. He ran his hand through Spencer's long hair, and kissed his forehead, before grabbing his chin, and moving his face up, to look in his eyes.
The genius leaned in, and pressed his lips to Hotch's for a few seconds. After letting go,they both smiled and he sighed, pressing their heads together and staring in each others eyes. Aaron's eyes got watery, and he started crying. It was strange for him to cry in front of others, or show much emotion. Spencer hugged him, and comforted him. He could never let himself get so emotional in front of anyone. Except for Spencer.