Chapter Six: A child

I was caught in a moment of weakness. I couldn't stop the tears flowing. With just five simple emotionless words, I break, all masks shed as if they were never there in the first place. Tears flow down with no pause, yet there's no sob, no hic, no sound; just plain tears running down my cheeks. Emotions roaring widely and being exposed all at once I couldn't take it, I broke, retreating into the confines of my mind, I blocked out, faintly remembering a worried stricken faced Sebastian reaching out a hand as if wanting to catch me.

I waited for him to say something, anything at all that would give an idea on what he feels but even though all masks are stripped his mask called grief restrains himself from any emotion through his face. I was furious, he wouldn't let me in he wouldn't let me through even one barrier. He cries true, the reason? I don't know. He wouldn't let me help him, he wouldn't let care for him does he not trust me that much? I admit, I tried countless of times trying to take his life but proved to be futile without the use of a death god's sickle or the demon's sword. I felt my heart clenched, is that why he wants to run away from me? To get away from the person who thinks his existence was a bother and tried to kill him almost every night back in the first century he lived. My heart sunk, it was I who put me in my position right now, I'm at fault for losing every bit of trust he had in me. It's me I'm the one who's wrong. I was about to say something to him when all of a sudden he broke, he fell unconscious, going limp in my arms with cheeks stained of tears and eyes bloodshot red and opened but with no shine signifying the lack of the owner's consciousness. And with that we rode home.

I woke up in darkness full expanse of darkness. No bottom, no ceiling, not even a single light to grace my eyes. Yet I was relieved, why? I felt safe in this darkness, in this nothingness. Why? I looked around. I don't see anything but it calms me; as if telling that you need not see something, someone, anything, anyone at all. I sighed as I felt myself relax. I felt myself drifting off into nothingness until I heard something. I opened my eyes only to see darkness but it rang again. It's a voice, of whom? I looked around, still nothing. Then it came, the voice shouted through the dark expanse. "Ciel! Comeback! You can't go! Not now! Not ever!" My eyes shot opened and saw a light, a red orange light seeping through a slightly shut curtain, so is it twilight? I felt my breath hitched when I glanced down at my hand to see Sebastian's hand, ungloved and was tightly entangled on my hand as if fearing I'd leave if he let go. I looked over to where he rested his head. He's asleep, is he asleep? I asked myself as I poke lightly at Sebastian's face. I frowned maybe he's not, maybe he's just playing with me again. I sighed as I fell back into the covers and slept, this time lightly.

I woke up from having to go to the depths of Ciel's mind to prevent him from becoming just a shell for all eternity, a never dying corpse. I rubbed my eyes with my free hand as I stare at the now sleeping boy on the bed, this time relieved to see the boy's undying habit of breathing. I looked down at my hand to see that it was where it was previously at and smiled. At least for this moment just this that he doesn't see my tears I'll cry, for just a simple touch I feel complete.

Morning came and I found myself waking up at the smell of burning, I opened my eyes and saw the mansion burning. It wasn't the mansion I now live in, it's the former one, and it's the one who holds all my memories as a human. I eyed the room I was in, it's my old room; I looked around and saw toys, countless of toys and game boards that I once owned. I let my gaze fall upon the door; I opened it and went outside. I know the drill; I go to the lounge see my parents' corpses freak out then wake up, same usual routine. I opened the door to the lounge and saw a small child that looked exactly like Sebastian only female. I neared the child and was about to reach out when the child said in a low demonic voice. "You are not my father's bride, stay away from my father, he doesn't need you." And with that I woke up in cold sweat and almost jumped out of bed and put on my clothes all too quickly to bother fixing it. I ran out into the corridor waving my way into the study to get some money and preferably some books to take with me, and entered it only to see Sebastian holding a small child in his arms; it was the same child in my dream. I suddenly became sick as I quickly turned away towards the twin oak doors of the manor. I twisted the knob and was about to run outside when the door suddenly closed in my face. I turned around to see who slammed the door at my face and saw Sebastian with his eyes gleaming red.

I couldn't sleep I was too preoccupied by the small bundle that my sister had left me to care for, though I think the child thinks I'm her father. I smiled as I gazed upon the sleeping face of the young demon. She reminded me of myself when I was just a tad lad and was very mischievous then dropped there where I was playing and slept not caring if I was in the way of everything. I held her up and was about to go my room and settle her there when the door of the study opened by just a bit, and came a panting Ciel looking paler than usual and then looked at me. He covered his mouth with his hand as if feeling sick and ran off to the corridor. At first I thought that he was heading for the bathroom but dropped the child when I realized he was heading out for the front door of the manor. I ran quickly and was there just before Ciel ran outside the manor and leave my sight forever. I pulled the door closed to his face causing the young man to turn and looked at me in the eye with evident fear written on his face. I recognized the fear as not fear of me but of something else. I was about to ask him what was wrong when I felt his hand harshly came in contact to my stomach making me back away and losing my balance. I quickly regained it and pinned Ciel's hands over his head on the closed oak doors and glared at him.

I was scared not of the fact that I was captured, not of the fact that the demon wanting to kill me is hovering above me, no. I was scared of the child, it was not Sebastian's I know by the smell, but that child knows my feelings; I need to run away before anymore masks are torn away from me, I need to go and leave, leave everything behind, all of it including Sebastian. But I was trapped I couldn't move, Sebastian was far more experienced and powerful a demon than I am. I was scared, I had to go before he has any hold on me and look down upon me and lose my one shred of sanity left; I need to go, I need to live, live without the fear of being exposed of being torn and used just like last time.

I looked at his face as mixed emotion flashed through it every two seconds. I sighed and let myself to calm down, he won't leave, and I trapped him so he won't be leaving anytime soon. I need to calm down; I took a deep breath and looked at him carefully as his eyes go over everywhere as if looking for something. I kissed his forehead and soothed his head before pulling him in an embrace then whispering in a low and soft voice. "Don't you ever try to leave; I'd die if you left me alone." And with that his trembling went worse as he said in a stuttering voice. "No, I can't stay here anymore; I need to go, away from all these lies." And with that I cried.

Yay! Yay! Done with the next chapter, a bit extreme emo-ness in this chapter, I think. But hey thnx for continuing on supporting this story, please review! Always waiting for 'em and thnx for all who does thank you and see you until the next chapter.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN Kuroshitsuji ^^