Two days after Christmas- Jesse's favourite holiday- Beca and Jesse found themselves preparing for what was easily the worst day of their lives to date.
"Jess, I can't do this", Beca said to him, coming into their bedroom wearing holey tights and one of his well-worn Treble jackets. "I mean, I really can't do this".
The day after the accident, their parents flew in. Caroline and Barry Swanson, Will and Sheila Mitchell and Katherine Cooke (formerly Mitchell), all staying with Beca and Jesse (Katherine and Will had put aside their differences for their daughter, despite their history). Everyone else had gone to Chloe's house, returning to the Swanson house daily for support.
"Bec, we can do this", he whispered. "It hurts and it's going to hurt and its probably always going to hurt, but we can do this. You and me, we're Beca and Jesse".
She had always thought that she was braver than him (because he cried every time they watched The Notebook), but at that moment, she knew he was the brave one. He was able to hold her together when she was falling apart. She had learnt within their first year at Barden that no matter how hard life got, Jesse wasn't going to leave her.
"How are you holding up?" Chloe wanted to know, greeting Sheila, Caroline and Katherine pleasantly, before grabbing her best friend. "Bec?"
"Not that great", she admitted, her voice hitching in her throat. "Chloe…"
"I promise, we're not going to leave you", the redhead said firmly. "None of us are going to leave you".
Beca rested against the older girl and Chloe tucked a loose curl behind her ear. She knew that Beca was not that much younger than her, but she was so tiny and at that moment, she looked so young that Chloe felt her heart break.
"Beca, sweetheart, its time to go inside now", Katherine told her and Beca swallowed hard, reaching for Jesse's hand.
It took everything she had not to walk back out of the church. Gulping back the bile she felt rising in her throat, she squeezed Jesse's hand a little tighter. He squeezed hers right back, as he blinked back his own tears furiously.
The service was beautiful, but Beca couldn't help but feel alienated. They spoke about her children, but they didn't know them. they didn't know that Isaac had never told a joke with the correct punch line, they didn't know that Rosie knew the lyrics to more songs than Beca and Jesse put together (her beloved Aunt Aubrey had educated her with the set lists of the old Bellas, having been determined to turn their daughter into a Barden Bella), they didn't know that Isaac clung to a Tigger toy no matter what time of the day it was and they had to pry it out of his hand for his bath. They spoke about her three kids, but they didn't know them.
But Chloe did. when Chloe stepped up to the podium, Beca felt Jesse squeeze her hands a little tighter, preparing herself for the flood of salty water that would pour down her cheeks.
"I never thought we'd be standing here today- I never even imagined it, because no one should have to say goodbye to a child, let alone children". Chloe swallowed hard, and took a deep breath. "Nothing could be crueller or more unfair. But that's exactly why we're here today- to say goodbye to three beautiful little angels that God called home". Tears ran down her face and Aubrey stood up, Benji at her side, as they went up to finish what Chloe couldn't.
"You would all have your own memories of Connor, Rosie and Isaac- whether it be Connor's jokes where he got the punch line wrong, Rosie's spontaneous concerts on the dining room table, or Isaac's sweet giggle", Aubrey said, her voice wavering slightly.
Jesse smiled for the first time since the accident, still hearing his youngest son's sweet giggle. He could hear Rosie's voice belting out 'Don't You Forget About Me' (Beca and Jesse's song, that both Rosie and Connor knew all the words to) as she danced around the house, and Connor fumbling over the jokes his beloved Uncle Benji had told him.
"They were Beca and Jesse's children, but they were so much more", Benji continued. "Connor, Rosie and Isaac were grandchildren, nieces, nephews and godchildren as well. They were a part of all of our lives".
"Whenever we lose someone suddenly, we are left distraught, grief stricken and angry. Why? That's always the question asked. Why was it them? Out of all the children on earth, they are the three that deserved it the least. Why? I'm so sorry, but there just isn't an answer. God knows we have cried so many tears, for the three children we will never get to see grow up".
Aubrey's voice caught in her throat and Chloe sniffled beside her, but the blonde simply held Chloe tight, continuing.
"I know it doesn't seem possible, but in time the edge will be taken off. We will come to realise that Connor, Rosie and Isaac are safe and loved where they are, even if they aren't with us. At it is with all loved ones, we wish we could talk to them once more. To hear their voices once more- if only heaven had a telephone. I will think of Connor, Rosie and Isaac every minute of every day, never to be forgotten. Tears will still come, but as time goes on, the pain will subside. We will always have memories. Memories of these beautiful angels that God called home". Aubrey let her tears fall, as Benji helped both girls back to their seats.
"Aubrey, thank you", Jesse said quietly, as he held Beca in his arms.
"Thank you", Beca choked out, as Caroline silently dabbed at her tears. "Thank you, Benji".