Okay, I have to admit that I am getting the hots for Bertl. Very nice. Any way, I am going to try to have some sort of period where they just flirt, but we will see how long that lasts. I have a lemon planned...I am naughty...I plan to go back and forth between characters, instead of just following one. I probably won't start that until next chapter. We will see where it takes me.
I am loving Elastic Heart and Chandelier, both by Sia. I am going to use them as my song of this chapter.
They let her stay. Reiner didn't want her wandering around in the cold and Ymir didn't want her running around to snitch on them. In the end, they decided that she would join them, much to her delight. Maybe she would get answers before she had to kill them.
Reiner and Ymir slept on the other side of the fire, looking at her strangely when she settled near Bertholdt, who was trying to convince her that it wasn't as warm by him as by the others. She shrugged and stated that she would be fine. Reiner shook his head. She tossed a rock at him.
Oh yes, he would be the first to die.
It was so warm. She sighed in content and hugged Darius's head closer to her chest, pressing his warmth to her. She ran her hands thru his thick, short hair-
Wait. Darius's hair was longer.
And she wasn't in her bed...and she wasn't married any more. She felt her blood turn cold and her bright eyes snapped open. What the hell?
She looked down to see dark hair in between her breast, the culprit sleeping soundly, his breath even. His longer legs were intertwined with hers, his arms wrapped around her tightly. The question was, who initiated their current position?
Bertholdt sighed in his sleep, warm breath warming the cloth of her shirt. He looked so peaceful. She gulped and looked around. The other 2 were asleep, Reiner's snores were loud and obnoxious while Ymir looked like a stone.
Considering her options, she decided holding still. If she woke Bertholdt, the consequences could be negative. If she didn't have half a mind, she would have screamed and hit him. Knowing who he was also deterred her from waking him.
She relaxed, knowing that his grip was not going to loosen around her waist. He was very, very warm and the air around her was very, very cold. Was this really such a bad thing? She laughed softly when she remembered how good-looking the boy was. Too bad he is 16. And the Colossal titan. Such a shame, these young lives have to be wasted. His head moving snapped her from her thoughts and she closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. He was awake.
She heard a sigh and something to the nature of 'not again'. He pulled away from her slowly, taking his warmth away from her. She groaned and pretended to start waking up. It was so cold that she didn't care if she was spooning with the infamous Colossal titan. Bertholdt stopped moving and his breathing quickened. She stopped moving when he did. He must have really thought it thru because he returned to his spot next to her, except his head was no longer in between her breast, which she was grateful for. She wrapped her arms around him again and squeezed. She was going to milk this situation; she was tired of being alone when the nightmares came. Maybe they had them too?
The thoughts left her as darkness took over.
She woke earlier than usual, her heat source gone. She rubbed her eyes as she sat up, arching her back in a stretch. Hearing and smelling the fire made her realize that the others were up.
Ymir was sitting up, Bertholdt staring at the fire intensely. Reiner was still snoring over behind Ymir.
"It's alive." Ymir said humorlessly. Bertholdt looked back at her, a slight blush creeping over his face. "Did you find out why Bertl has to sleep by himself?"
Ava feigned confusion, raising a brow. She wasn't going to help the other girl embarrass the tall boy. "I don't understand."
Bertholdt almost looked relieved. Last thing he wanted was to be teased by the freckled girl. "I-I'm not that bad." He said, staring harder at the fire. Ava shrugged it off and began to pick up her bedding that Reiner had lent her.
Ymir shrugged. "He likes to cuddle people in his sleep and if there isn't any one to molest, he almost rolls into the fire."
He waved his hands defensively in front of him. "I don't molest people!"
"Sure do. You made Reiner freak out last week." Ymir snickered. Ava held back a giggle. She could see Bertholdt holding Reiner like he was holding her last night. The burly blond probably cried like a girl.
"I did not freak out. I just was surprised." Reiner had woken up and was stretching his arms across his large chest. Ava had to admire his large muscles. If he wasn't such a bone head, in her opinion, he would be very sexy.
Finishing packing her things, Ava sat in between the freckled girl and the tall boy. She hugged her knees to her chest, watching the flames dance. Now that everyone was up, she was sure they were going to start walking soon. "So..." She bit her lip. "Am I a special case or did you all wake up human too?"
Ymir looked at her, brows raised. Bertholdt looked down, avoiding the question. "You're a special case, meaning you remember your life before. We don't. We just were here all of the sudden. We have families though. But then again, we come from a line of shifters."
Ava began to think. That titan...looked like her father. Did that mean...? "So you are all like, what? 16, 18?" She shrugged.
"124." Bertholdt said passively. Her eyes widened. So much for being a child.
Reiner scratched behind his ear. "98."
"I don't know." Ymir shrugged and began to poke something with a stick. "Why?"
Ava continued her thoughts. "Curious. I mean, I am 73 technically. I know nothing about who I am...just who I was." She rubbed her temples. "I don't get it..." She whispered.
After a few moments of silence, Reiner stood. "We should get going. Connie's old town is near by. There is livestock and supplies there. Maybe we can stay there until we have a new plan."
Bertholdt agreed and stood up to follow his companion. Ymir put the fire out and Ava helped strap the supplies to the 2 men's back. They insisted on carrying the supplies instead of the girls. Ava almost laughed at their chivalry.
They began walking as the sun just cleared the tops of the trees. Ava was glad that Levi let her keep her gear and boots. Her light pants surprisingly kept her warm.
The sun only warmed up the air slightly and Ava almost didn't want to stop walking. Last thing she needed was to be freezing cold.
She noticed that some one was walking close to her. She had slowed a bit down and fell behind the others, following them at a safe enough distance. She looked up to see Bertholdt's red face. Despite the cold air, he had sweat on his forehead.
"I'm sorry. I know you know. I shouldn't have touched you." He said in a low voice, not making eye contact with her.
She smiled and nudged him with her elbow. "Nah, I was super cold any way. I seriously thought you were my husband. I don't feel violated." She looked ahead of her. How sweet of him to apologize.
"I want to ask you something and don't take it the wrong way, but...I noticed you have the nightmares too." She looked back at him, her lips thinned out. "I.." He sighed. "Do you mind? I mean, me holding you, does it bother you at all?"
She stopped and her face contorted. What? He had stopped too and he was looking at her with nervous eyes. "Sorry, that was just unexpected." She started to walk again. "Uh, no, it doesn't bother me. I mean, I was really cold last night."
"Ok." He looked at his boots as they walked. "Do you mind if I do it again? Last night was the first night I didn't the nightmares in a long time."
It was innocent enough, really. But she could see how he would be embarrassed. Did he think she was going to stick around until they were all done with doing whatever they were doing? "Yeah, I don't care, just don't get all fresh now." She teased him. He stuttered a bit. After a while they just walked in silence.
Reiner and Ymir were talking about something ahead of them and occasionally Ymir would glance back to see if she was still there. Every time, Ava had to suppress the twitch to flip her off.
"If you don't mind, would you not say anything to the others? Reiner has this stupid idea that I like a girl from our home town, but really she just kind of scares me. She is a good person though, no matter what." Bertholdt said next to her. "And I am really sorry for last night. It was out of line."
She smiled sadly. "No, it was a comfort, like you said. I haven't been held in a long time. It was nice, even if it was an accident."
Bertholdt looked at her. "Your husband died a long time ago, didn't he?"
She looked up at him. Ymir assumed that she and Darius were like cousins or in-laws. Reiner had voiced his own theory of them being mother and son. She scoffed at them. "No. He's still alive, just a very old man now. He thought it was best to just not get back together. I mean, I don't blame him and all and it would be kinda gross, but it still hurt." This boy was easy to talk to.
"I know it was Darius. You kept whispering his name last night."
She blushed and chuckled. "Oh, that's cute. Hold one man and say the other's name."
"I'm sure he still loves you, you know. That kind of thing doesn't ever disappear." He held out his hand to help her up the face of the boulder they came upon. He had just lifted himself over it, like it was nothing. She wanted to pull him down. Stupid giant...
She took his hand and let him pull her up. He did it almost effortlessly. "Worst thing is, is that I was 23 when I disappeared. We had a life together and I was doing well in my career. It was going so well we were thinking about kids and then suddenly, I was gone, for 50 years." She reached the top of the boulder and continued to walk next to the tall man. He had to slow down to keep at her pace.
"You feel a lot a guilt over it? You couldn't help it." He said, coming to a stop. She looked to see a decimated village.
Some of the damage wasn't bad. A patch job on the roof would suffice on a couple of the larger houses. The chickens and other livestock were wandering around, no humans to keep them in place, but weren't leaving the village line.
They had stopped next to Reiner and Ymir. Reiner nodded to keep walking. They followed him into the center of the village, a large house sitting in it. It must have belonged to the head of the village. She thought. Reiner walked into the house first, looking around and then motioning to the others that it was safe. They filed in and looked around at their new 'home'. It was large enough for 4 people, but had no rooms. Instead there was a large loft like area above the table. That was where a strange hole was, like something exploded from the inside.
"Bertholdt and I will fix the roof. You and Ymir look for food and anything that can be useful. If you can, try to round-up the chickens and some cattle. We need them for food." Reiner started giving instructions. Ava and Ymir nodded, leaving the 2 men to do their job.
Finding food that had not gone bad wasn't that hard. The town looked seemed to concentrate on farming. Most of the food they found was dried vegetables, grains, and dried meats. Ymir looked at a dried beet. "These look decent. I wonder where they grow these." She walked to the door way of the house they were looking in.
Ava tapped her shoulder to let the other girl know she wanted by and moved past her when she obliged. "I'm guessing in the forest a bit. Look for a small fence with tight wiring around it."
Sure enough, just at the mouth of the forest, was a patch of vegetables. Sadly enough, the cows and horses had stepped over the fence and were eating the said goods. Ava groaned and looked at Ymir. "I guess the dried stuff will have to do. Let's see if the horses are good for riding." She stepped over the small fence and held out her hands, clicking her tongue. The 4 horses that were standing in the patch turned towards her, not moving from their spots. She clicked her tongue again as she picked up a partly eaten carrot. That got their attention. She began to walk backwards, holding the carrot out to them, moving when they got close. Ymir went behind her and opened the gate behind the house the boys were fixing. Once all 4 horses were inside, she shut the gate. Ava broke the carrot into pieces and gave all 4 of them a treat. "Good horse." She rubbed the nose to a chestnut colored mare.
"You're good with animals." Ymir observed. She leaned against the fence.
"I was raised on a farm, inside wall Maria. I moved to Trost after my dad died." Ava patted the side of another horse before she climbed over the gate, looking at Ymir. "Let's go get those dried veggies and then see if we can saddle up and round-up the other animals."
The roof wasn't finished by sun down, but Ymir and Ava had succeeded in moving the cows into a pasture and only grabbing a couple of chickens to place in a coup they had found. Ava chopped up some of the dried veggies and meat and threw them in a pot of boiling water. After a long day of work, all 4 of them were hungry. Ava had removed her shirt to reveal an undershirt. Working by the fire made her over heat.
She sighed as she sat in the chair, her muscles sore and her eyes heavy from exhaustion. She looked to see Reiner and Bertholdt washing their faces, ridding themselves of the grime from the long day of work. Ymir was just sitting in the corner, patiently waiting for the soup to get done. They weren't bad, but whatever was going on to make them kill so many innocent lives with a conscience, made them her enemies. She didn't want to kill them, but she would have to when the time came.
"Tomorrow, if we get up early enough, we can have that roof finished in no time. Do you have enough food to keep a good pantry for a while?" Reiner looked at her directly. She pursed her lips. She must look like a house keeper because she was doomed to be one apparently.
"So I'm feeding people, is that my job?" She said dryly, making sure she looked none-to-pleased.
"None of us can cook." Bertholdt looked at her, shrugging. "You're soup smells good, so we are hoping that it tastes the same. I don't see why it wouldn't." His face reddened slightly. Ava wanted to pinch his cheeks. Stop being so damn adorable.
She smiled and shrugged. "I'm not good at cleaning, but my mom taught me how to cook. I can't get stains out of your clothes, fair warning." She flinched at the memory of trying to remove stains from the laundry. Levi was not impressed.
Reiner's booming laugh made her jump. He clapped a hand on her shoulder. "You're a woman, isn't that stuff just built into you?"
Do not stab him, do not stab him...Eyebrow twitching, she removed his hand and pointed at Ymir. "She's a woman and I was just told she can't cook."
"But she can clean! See, you can just make sure I don't starve and she can wash my britches!" He kept laughing, ignoring her shrug off. She sent a disturbed look at Ymir who was rolling her eyes.
Ava shuddered. "Yes, because I am sure that is her life goal." She opened the lid to the pot. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Reiner winking at Ymir. Ugh...now I can't get that thought out of my head. Gross. "Soup is done."
They were happy to find that the soup did in fact taste as good as it smelled. Reiner ruffled Ava's hair, making another sexist comment and finding satisfaction when she pushed at him. Bertholdt also praised her. Ymir ate 2 bowls, so Ava took that as a good sign. They all cleaned up and settled down for the night. Again, Ava received strange looks when she laid near Bertholdt. "What? I can't sleep here?" She gave them a strange look in return.
Ymir snickered. "You like it when he grabs your tits at night?" Reiner began to laugh too. Poor Bertholdt sulked slightly and Ava felt a need to protect him.
"Yeah, at least I have tits to grab. Maybe he is a good tit grabber. I may know one when I see one." She put her nose in the air as she began to pull up her hair.
"Find some one else to warm that empty spot, huh?" Reiner continued to laugh, not realizing the meaning in his words.
She stopped fidgeting with her hair, her heart becoming heavy with sadness. Reiner stopped laughing. "I'm sorry, I forgot." He mumbled. "Are you okay?"
Sighing gently, she smiled up at the giant man. "Yeah, I know what you meant. I'm just kinda sensitive, ya know?" She tried to shake the heavy feeling off inside of her, but found that the comment may have stung more than she realized. "I'm calling it a night. See you guys in the morning."
"What?! You're kidding!" Ava sat up in bed, looking down at her husband with wide eyes. "Does that mean...?"
The sheet covered the naked bottom half of his body. It rippled when he chuckled at her reaction. "Yes, we can do what we want now."
He had been promoted to the commander of the Garrison Regiment. It was a huge leap, considering that he was only a captain a day before. He must of really impressed his superiors. Her smile even got bigger. "We can have a baby..." She felt tears sting her eyes. "I thought...that we might not be able too, but, we can now."
His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her back down to him. "I would enjoy that. A quirky, little Zachly." He smiled into her hair. She began to cry. "Ava?" He ran the back of his hand over her cheek. "What's wrong?"
"It's not what's wrong, it's what's right." She rolled over and hugged him. "I didn't think we would ever get the chance." She hick-up'd and nuzzled his collar bone. "You don't know how happy I am."
His arms wrapped around her and squeezed her tightly to him. "I'm happy to start trying." His voice became husky.
She woke with a start, tears rolling down her face. It wasn't fair...everything had been going so well. Their life was going to start and they could have had a family. She muffled her cries into Bertholdt's shoulder.
Why? We were so in love and it was our dream to be parents. We wanted it so bad. She began to shake with the strain of holding in her sobs. She covered her mouth.
Just then, two long and strong arms wrapped around her tightly, pressing her more into the body she was laying with. His warmth engulfed her. He was awake because he began to stroke her hair.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She wiped her tears away.
"I wasn't asleep. It's okay, I understand." His voiced whispered back above her and she smiled softly. It was so comforting because he really did. He didn't know her pain with Darius, but he knew how much her heart hurt. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head. "No, just don't let me go, okay?"
He took a deep breath and she gripped his shirt tightly. "Okay."
Just let go of Darius already woman! Jk, I would be more of a mess, but I'm a weiner, so...
Yay or nay on this chapter? Let me know if this is feeling rushed to you guys because it feels like it to me, though I am pleased with how it is progressing.
Let me know!
-Jane