A/N: I did it again. :) I went weeks without updating. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm always and forever sorry. But I updated soon-ER which is a miracle in itself, so be happy. I wanna finish up some oneshots and post 'em. So once again, this one shall be slightly neglected. However, I do promise it'll be done. Gimme another few weeks to update, and in the mean time, this should tide you over. Oh, and more big events happening soon. Promise. Disclaimer: Once again, only in my dreams do I own Hilarie or Chad or Sophia. Nor do I own their characters. Heck, I don't even own the show they're on. But I do however own the storyline from the beginning of this story onwards. :) Chapter 6:
Peyton awoke the next morning silently. She and Brooke had shared the bed in the guest bedroom. Because as Brooke had reported back to Peyton, Lucas had offered his bed, saying he would sleep on the couch, but Brooke had persistently refused that. No matter how much bigger that bed was, she couldn't put Peyton through the pain right now of having to sleep in Lucas' bed, much less having to sleep alone.
Peyton tied her now permanently messy blonde hair back up into a ponytail, before quietly making her way into the kitchen. No one else was up yet. Brooke was known for her being up late, partying all night, and sleeping in until the next afternoon. And Lucas, well Peyton wasn't very sure about what was going on with him. She was finding it harder and harder to care about him. Goodness, she still had so many feelings for him. But he had hurt her so bad.
She took a pan out from the cupboard, and began to make some breakfast. Scrambled eggs, bacon. Nothing too extravagant. She was just hungry enough that toast or cereal wasn't going to do it. She liked it when it was quiet; it gave her a chance to think. But the quiet in this house seemed to haunt her, knowing that this was Lindsey's home. Not hers. She wasn't the one married to Lucas. All of this was Lindsey's.
She could already feel the tears start running down her face. She was honestly surprised there were any tears left there, considering all the crying she had done. Looking towards the ceiling, trying to stop the tears, she sighed.
"Peyton..."
Her head snapped back down within seconds. All of a sudden her emotions completely changed.
There he was. Standing right there. So many things to say, but so many things that simply shouldn't be said. Did she care? Did she really care?
"Peyton, I'm... I'm sorry for everything." He pleaded.
"Are you really? Are you really sorry? Or is all of this just a game to you? Am I just a game to you? Because if that's all I am to you, tell me now so I can get out of this. I don't think it's possible to hate someone as much as I hate you right now, considering how much I love you right now. Here, you can have my breakfast, Luke."
And with that said, she threw the fork she had been using into the sink, and stormed from the kitchen, no longer able to breathe in there.
xxx
Brooke's eyes shot open.
"... I don't think it's possible to hate someone as much as I hate you right now, considering how much I love you right now..."
Peyton's cries could be heard even on the second floor of the household. And it wasn't long before the sound of something being dropped into the sink, and the slamming of the front door were heard.
Standing up, and throwing a sweater on, Brooke stomped all the way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she found a broody blonde haired man standing, staring at a pan full of scrambled eggs.
"Damn it, Luke. Can you not do anything right?" She sighed, walking over to the pan, and picking it up, spooning the eggs into a bowl and handing it to him.
"Did you hear it? All of it?" He asked quietly, as he sat down at the table.
"Enough to know what went on." Brooke glared at him, "Luke, you can't keep doing this. She's staying here, because she needs me. And unfortunately for us, you need me too. I can't keep playing both sides of the fence. And if you two weren't so damn stubborn, I wouldn't have to be sitting on this fence, 'cause we'd all be on the same side!"
Lucas frowned.
"She's not gonna forgive you right now, because you hurt her. And not just paper cut hurt. Like, tore her heart right out of her chest, ripped into shreds, stepped on it and watch the juice run all over the floor and then served it to the d-"
"Okay, Brooke! I get the point." He interrupted.
"No, see I don't think you do. Because if you did, we wouldn't have had this conversation, what, 3 times now? This has to stop." Brooke said menacingly through clenched teeth, "And if you can't figure out a way to do that, and soon, then you and Peyton? You're done. I'll take her home, and make sure you NEVER see her again. She can't take anymore hurt, Luke."
She smiled hopefully, leaving Luke to sit at the table, contemplating all that had just been said.
xxx
Peyton wandered aimlessly around town. Birds chirped, the sun shone. It seemed like a good day. But Peyton knew better. No days were good these days. Not after what Lucas had done.
She stopped sighing. She had spent a lot of time blaming this on Lucas. But she knew it was partly her fault. That she had hurt him too. Because she had hurt Lindsey. She had said a lot of hateful things that she was far from proud of. And she had essentially driven Lucas and Lindsey apart. But was it her fault she was hopelessly and desperately in love with Lucas? And was it her fault that he still felt the same? Or had she simply imagined that kiss the night he proposed to Lindsey.
Because to her, that had been the most real moment in the last five years. Everything else just seemed to be a blur.
She needed him. Just like she needed oxygen. And goodness, was that hard sometimes. You can't live without oxygen, but Peyton had spent the last five years without Lucas and somehow she had made it through.
The thing was, she still didn't know how.
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