.

All right, here's your chapter back. I did what I was trying to do – for now, at least – so I guess I'll try and hold off on the interruptions.

*grumbles* You'd better. Now, where were we again?

The field had just been switched out, since the little cereal mascot just lost his third Pokémon.

I thought you said you would hold off interrupting…

Hey, you asked a legitimate question.

It was RHETORICAL. RHE-TOR-I-CAL. Meaning I didn't intend for anyone to actually answer. Besides, the longer I take to get back to narrating, the longer it'll be until you can start watching the tournament again.

Shutting up now.

Good. Anyway, as the new field was hoisted into place between the two competitors, Pikachu readied himself to bound back out into combat. Ash stopped him with a gesture, though.

"You've had plenty of League experience already – let's let the newer guys have the limelight for now."

Pikachu gasped in mock horror. "Who are you, and what have you done with Ash? You actually sound SENSIBLE!"

His trainer flicked him in the forehead, chuckling. "Cheeky little blighter. Noivern, you're up!"

Sawyer took note and made his own selection. "Salamence, to the field!"

"AND THE MATCHUP IS: NOIVERN VERSUS SALAMENCE! WHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP IN THIS DRACONIC DISPUTE?" the announcer yelled, causing Ash's Noivern to wilt visibly.

"Aww… I wanted to be my announcer so I could yell super-loud at everyone."

Salamence cocked its head in confusion, sweatdropping. "Are you okay? You should be more worried about the battle than who's announcing, shouldn't you?"

"Maybe, maybe not." Noivern dismissed as he began hovering in the air. "You know what else I wonder about? People's sweat."

This only confused Salamence more, and it turned back to Sawyer for guidance. Sawyer, however, had decided to take a leaf out of Ash's book and let Salamence act independently so that Ash couldn't counter its moves that way. (Ash, meanwhile, usually left Noivern to battle for himself because he was never quite sure what fad his Dragon-type was into at the moment – and each new fad shifted its battling style slightly.) Shrugging as well as it could without proper shoulders, the blue dragon returned its attention to Noivern. "Explain."

"I mean, how many times have you seen someone whose sweat just collects on the back or side of their head in one huge drop? And that always gets me thinking about music…"

Salamence darted forward in a Dragon Rush to try and catch Noivern off guard, but missed when the purple dragon started bobbing its head and erratically shifting back and forth. "What is up with you?" Salamence shouted in annoyance, turning around for another run.

"Oh, right – I forgot you couldn't hear the music I was remembering. Here, let me show you. Be warned, though: it's got a heck of a drop." A blast of soundwaves erupted from Noivern's massive ears, the bass tones loud enough to set the seats in the audience shaking.

"How do you call that music?" Salamence protested, barely able to form a coherent thought as its eardrums (and altitude) were assaulted by the sonic barrage. "It's nothing but screeches and wubs!"

Noivern sniffed haughtily. "A non-believer, eh? What kind of fan would I be if I let a comment like that slide? Taste Acrobatics!" The stream of wubs cut off, causing Salamence to instinctively relax slightly – only to be hit with the full power of Noivern's swooping tackle.

Now, while this would have normally been the end of the clash, there was one wrinkle that caused it to last longer than intended. In an attempt to block Acrobatics from hitting, Salamence had activated a Protect barrier around itself – but the delay in its reflexes caused the shield not to activate until its opponent was already in contact with it. This caused Noivern to become trapped inside the barrier with Salamence, unable to dodge the Dragon Rush that Salamence decided to perform against him.

His being trapped was a double-edged sword, though. Protect could hold up against all but the strongest of assaults, but when one of the two combatants trapped inside relied heavily on soundwaves to battle, its potential as an echo chamber became clearly displayed.

And Noivern took full advantage of that. Ignoring the discomfort caused by Salamence's half-activated Dragon Rush, he unleashed another Boomburst at full power.

"I immediately regret every life choice I ever made." Salamence moaned, dropping its Protect and rushing blindly away to escape from the torturous sounds. (As it did, Kazuto instinctively glanced at the ground to see if there were any vomit-covered pumpkin shards – wondering afterwards why he had done so.) Unfortunately, this caused it to charge directly into the ground and knock itself out.

"It's still better than suffering that trash he calls 'music'…" it muttered woozily as Sawyer recalled it and sent out Slurpuff, whose Dazzling Gleam made short work of the health Noivern had remaining. Ash countered with Goodra, putting Sawyer on his guard. After all, he had never battled against Goodra before – and if Ash was voluntarily sending a Dragon-type out against a Fairy-type, he had to have something up his sleeve.

"Hey Ash, can you limit yourself to just three moves this time?" the dragon called back, garnering a raised eyebrow in response.

"If you say so… watch out – Flamethrower incoming! Block it with Ice Beam!"

"Now, Fairy Wind while Goodra is stuck in place!"

"Goodra, Bide!" Ash ordered, before glancing over to Sawyer. "And now we know all four of Slurpuff's moves, but you only know two of ours. That means we have an advantage on that front – with as much damage as that Fairy Wind did, only another Dazzling Gleam would be strong enough to counter it once Goodra releases his Bide."

After all, the experience gap between the two of them meant that he could afford to help the Trainer of Greninja's rival without jeopardizing his own victory. Unlike himself at that age, Sawyer was ready and willing to take any advice veteran Trainers were willing to offer him, which meant he already had a head-start on Ash. And in that case, then why not help a promising rookie reach his potential faster?

Which was why he was surprised when Sawyer grinned back at him triumphantly. "Thanks for the advice, but there's something you're forgetting yourself. The reason Trainers are limited to four moves per Pokémon per battle is because the League Association wanted to create a competitive balance – not because they can only remember four moves at a time. Which is why Slurpuff won't be using Energy Ball this time. Now, Cotton Guard!"

Ash chuckled mareepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh yeah. Not sure how that slipped my mind, especially since he used Attract last time too. Well, if long range attacks won't work… Goodra, Dragon Pulse!" As the dragon turned his head to look at him questioningly, Ash surreptitiously pointed down and then mimed squashing a pancake.

That let Goodra understand what his Trainer was planning, and he launched himself into the air with Dragon Pulse. Sawyer's eyes immediately widened, and he started panicking slightly. None of the scenarios he had prepared for included a flying Goodra – and those few seconds of indecision lost him the bout. While the Dragon Pokémon was falling, his tail lit up with a metallic sheen (a technique Keanan had suggested he learn to deal with Ice- or Fairy-types) and smashed into Slurpuff with the force of a descending 300-pound blob of goo.

Needless to say, Slurpuff was down for the count.

But you're saying it anyway.

*AHEM*

Right – turn of phrase, interruptions, and all that. Sorry.

"You're my last shot at this, Sceptile. Let's do our best!" Sawyer called out, summoning his Grass-type to the field.

Upon seeing Sceptile's face fall slightly, Ash called Goodra back over. "I get the feeling he wants to battle Greninja while still fresh, so why don't you sit this one out for now? You've done great already, and there's still the battle against Alain tomorrow."

Goodra glanced back at Sceptile and nodded, lumbering over to sit on the edge of the Trainer's Platform.

"I don't think he meant 'sit it out' quite so literally." Greninja snarked as he came out. "So. We meet again, Sceptile."

The Grass-type acknowledged him with a nod, beginning to slowly stalk in a circle. "My powers have grown since we last met. You won't find me as easy a defeat as last time."

"What a surprise – so have mine." Greninja deadpanned, nonchalantly maintaining his distance. "I'm guessing that kerchief is where you keep your Mega Stone?"

In response, Sceptile slid the cloth up his neck until it covered his face. "An astute guess. But you know, this field ain't big enough to hold us both. Only one of us can win today."

Greninja shrugged, forming a six-pointed Water Shuriken and slapping it on his chest. "There. I'm the sheriff, so I beat the outlaw by default. You lose."

As he said that, Sceptile stopped a quarter of the way around the field from his starting position, hands dangling near his thighs as he flexed them menacingly. "Well now – we'll just have to find that out, won't we?"

An electric tumbleweed bounced across the desert between them, courtesy of Pikachu, and Sceptile tossed a single Bullet Seed into the air. Both combatants' eyes tracked it closely as it descended, though Sceptile noticed Sawyer crossing his arms in an X-shape out of the corner of his eye and gave the slightest of nods in acknowledgement.

And then: impact. Greninja immediately formed a brace of Water Shuriken in his hands and launched them at Sceptile, only for them to be shredded by a Dragon Claw.

"I knew Greninja would be quicker on the draw, so I figured our best bet would be to start with defense." Sawyer explained, grinning. "And now it's our turn to go on the offensive. Sceptile, Frenzy Plant!"

"Confuse him with Double Team!" A burst of smoke appeared around Greninja, and then half a dozen copies of Greninja split off in different directions – though one was displaying considerably more agility than the others, and the other five were lacking the shuriken badge.

"Focus on that one!" Sawyer ordered, causing Sceptile's plants to home in on the ninja frog fast enough that it couldn't escape. The roots collided with Greninja, resulting in another burst of smoke.

Unfortunately for him, that was all that resulted. Greninja, in a gambit to lower Sawyer's guard, had deliberately blended in with his swarm of Double Team clones and sent one out to act as a decoy, allowing him to escape from the Frenzy Plant unscathed.

"Aerial Ace, now!"

"Block with Leaf Blade, Sceptile!"

The Grass-type was able to halt Greninja's arms with the blades on his wrists, and he narrowed his eyes in a way that suggested he was smirking beneath his mask. "Told you I wouldn't go down so easily."

"Oh really? Can you tell me why using Aerial Ace is similar to playing baseball?" Greninja responded, increasing the pressure.

Sceptile was confused by the apparent non-sequitur, but made sure to keep up the blade-lock. "Enlighten me."

"You get three strikes before you're out."

Using his free foot, Greninja kicked Sceptile in the stomach and sent him flying backwards. He then leaped back himself to evade any potential counterattacks.

"You're just as strong as always, Ash." Sawyer complimented, removing the Key Stone bookmark from his strategy book and setting the book down behind him. "Now let's see how far I can get when Sceptile and I are at our strongest. Sceptile, Mega Evolve!"

As Sceptile began to transform, Greninja sent a message across the Bond. If they're going all out, do you think I should too? It feels like it'd be rude not to…

…but on the other hand, it feels kind of like overkill? Ash finished for him. In that case, let's go with the transformation – but I'll still give you orders out loud, to give him a chance to counter. And if he does manage to beat you… well, Pikachu's still fresh, and Goodra still has plenty of stamina left.

Hai, Sensei. The customary water cyclone appeared briefly around Greninja, and his appearance shifted to match Ash's. Grabbing the giant Water Shuriken off his back, he twirled it around in a flashy display of skill before replacing it again.

"Showoff." Sceptile commented as he stood there with his arms folded. His scathing tone was mixed with respect, though, and Greninja picked up on that.

"Why, thank you." he responded cheekily, placing his palm to his fist and bowing. He then swept his hand in a grandiose manner at the field in front of him. "Your move."

"Let's start this off with another Frenzy Plant!" Sawyer ordered, throwing his fist forward.

The outline of a kunai made of Aura formed itself faintly in Ash's hand, mirroring the water blade Greninja now held. "Get out of there with Cut, and then close in for an Aerial Ace!"

"Dragon Claw, then Leaf Storm!" Sawyer countered as Greninja sliced through the vines and charged forward. As before, Greninja's arms were halted before they could hit their target – and now they did less damage, since they were being blocked by a Dragon-type move rather than Grass-type – but this time, Sceptile was prepared to stop the third blow from coming.

"Haven't seen this trick yet, have you?" he taunted, propelling the tip of his tail into Greninja's stomach with the force of a rocket and launching him into the air.

"Now, while he can't brace himself – Frenzy Plant again!"

Ash gripped his stomach in discomfort, grateful that Protean had reduced Greninja's pain by making him Flying-type when Leaf Storm hit. Pushing past, he called up to Greninja. "Follow my lead, and use your Water Shuriken to fly out of the way!"

Normally, a tactic like that would have been impossible – but Ash, whose movements were synchronized almost perfectly with Greninja's, had spent several days learning to fly on wings of water, allowing his partner to swoop gracefully around the oncoming assault.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" the announcer yelled incredulously. "FIRST A FLYING GOODRA, AND NOW ASH'S GRENINJA CAN FLY TOO? I'VE NEVER SEEN A BATTLE LIKE THIS BEFORE! WHO KNOWS WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT?"

Meanwhile, up in the stands, Kazuto made another tally mark on a sheet of paper.

May I ask what that is, Master? Genos probed, the light in its gem getting fuzzier and clearer as its vision changed focus.

A list of times either Ash used an ability he learned in Aincrad/ALFheim or his Pokémon ended up with an opening that people could argue seemed contrived. Of course, with the criteria that broad it's ended up being almost every attack he uses…

I see. Thank you, Master. Ignoring Kazuto's rote protest to stop calling me Master, Genos returned its attention to the battle.

"All right – change of plans, Sceptile!" Sawyer decided when he saw Greninja start flying. "We're gonna use Salamence's Incinerate strategy here. Since Salamence never used it, it should take Ash a while to figure it out."

Unfortunately for the green-haired Trainer, Ash's practice carrying out telepathic conversations with Serena while simultaneously interacting with other players back in Aincrad (though a bit rusty) allowed him to process the fight from both his and Greninja's perspectives at once. And considering the fact that the strategy Pikachu used against Aegislash was initially created for the purpose of guiding an opponent's movements, he soon recognized Sawyer's attack pattern.

"Greninja, dive down!" he yelled, simultaneously flexing his back muscles to control their descent. "Land on one of the vines and start running!"

"Quick, block him from jumping with another one and then hit him with Leaf Storm again!"

Ash's response confused Greninja briefly, since they were only sight-sharing and not thought-sharing at the moment. "Use Cut to throw it back!"

But he trusted his Trainer, so he re-formed his energy kunai, idly wondering how he could throw back a flying drill using just a knife with a… ring on the end… Smirking slightly, he blunted and shortened the 'blade' portion while elongating the handle and enlarging the ring (crafting your weapons out of pure elemental energy lets you do that).

He then moved as far to the right on the root as he could – and then back to the left as soon as Sceptile fired the end of his tail off again. Holding the 'kunai' out to the side, he skidded to a stop and braced himself, moving the weapon so that the leafy cone would impact its ring dead center.

He was very nearly yanked off his feet when it arrived, but Ash's centripetal-acceleration ploy worked, allowing him to throw Sceptile's Leaf Storm back with little loss of momentum. He immediately launched himself in pursuit, his powerful legs combining with a massive flap of his Water Shuriken wings to boost him up to the same speed as the projectile while a Double Team decoy remained behind on the vine.

Sawyer, assuming the Leaf Storm was the only attack coming (since Greninja was hiding in its shadow) ordered Sceptile to return the favor by catching it with Dragon Claw and throwing it back. And it did work – up until Greninja, whose momentum had not been interrupted, slammed into his stomach with yet another Aerial Ace.

Not only did this damage Sceptile, but it also loosened the Grass-type's hold on the still-spinning Leaf Storm drill, causing it to hit him directly in the face. Combined with the damage he had taken earlier, this was enough to take him out of the fight.

In a display of sportsmanship, Greninja walked over (after de-transforming) and hoisted the recovering Sceptile back to his feet. "That was a solid performance out there." he complimented, draping his rival's arm over his shoulder and walking him slowly over to his Trainer. "If you had been up against anyone closer to Sawyer's level of experience, I feel like you would have won. No hard feelings?"

Sceptile shook his head, mustering the strength to stand up on his own. "Naw. Y'all outclassed us as a team, and I consider it an honor to have lost to you." He extended his hand, and the two of them mirrored Ash and Sawyer's handshake. "Maybe we can have a friendly rematch sometime? No special transformations, no Trainers – just your skill against mine."

Greninja grinned. "Sounds like fun."

I still can't believe it! Ash thought as he walked along the hallway to rejoin his friends. I finally have a shot at League championship, after all these years…

"Do you mind?" Pikachu asked from his shoulder. "I know this is exciting and all, but the ride's getting kinda bumpy."

"Sorry, buddy." Ash apologized. "I guess it's just affecting me more than you for some reason. Ever since we beat Sawyer, I've been feeling incredibly giddy – and I almost feel like I have to let it out soon, or else I'm gonna mmmph!"

"That might be why…" Pikachu commented dryly as he peeled himself up off the ground. "Should I give you two some privacy?"

Serena pulled back with flushed cheeks and a sheepish grin. "Sorry, Pikachu. Guess I got a bit carried away there."

Pikachu waved dismissively. "No, no, it's fine. What's smacking into a wall and then crashing to the floor compared to ten seconds of… that?"

He was met with a deadpan stare from Ash. "Your support is overwhelming." As Ash turned to face Serena again, his voice took on an almost sickeningly sweet tone. "Now, yours, on the other hand…"

"Sheesh, I get it. No need to rub it in."

He was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the wall. "Are we interrupting anything?" Clemont asked around the doorframe, his Aipom arm snaking around to tap on their side of the wall. "Or can I stop restraining Bonnie now that Serena's had her 'moment' with you?"

"Nah, you can let her come in now." Ash replied, a slightly goofy grin appearing on his face as he remembered exactly what that 'moment' entailed. "I think we're good for a while."

He was quickly glomped by a miniature blond missile, and he reached down with his free hand to ruffle her hair.

"Hey, cut that out!" Bonnie protested, (thankfully) easing up on her grip to swat away his hand. "I can't hug you properly if you mess up my hair like that!"

"I do believe that was his intention." Squishy trilled from her bag. "I myself have been on the receiving end of several of your hugs, and occasionally you become a tad overzealous."

Of course Bonnie, not having Aura or Psychic powers, did not understand a word. "See? Squishy agrees with me!"

"Oh? Just like he 'agreed with you' when you were trying to convince Dad we should have pizza for dinner last night?" Clemont said dryly. "By the way, Ash, nice job with that battle. I get the feeling most of us missed out on part of it, based on how much Sawyer's and your Pokémon seemed to be talking, but it was incredible to watch nonetheless."

Kazuto nodded in agreement. "He's right, you know. If Genos hadn't been translating for me, I would have missed all the smack talk – and as we all know, that's the most entertaining part of battles when the fate of the world isn't on the line. Or people's lives."

Ash chuckled, socking him lightly in the shoulder. "You'd know all about that, wouldn't you Mr. Insanely-Over-Leveled? Name one time outside a Boss battle after Floor 50 where you didn't have something smart-alecky to say."

"Laughing Coffin." Kazuto answered bluntly. "It's kind of hard to snark when you've just killed two people, even if they were serial killers themselves. I was actually worried for a while after the Kuradeel incident because I thought that meant I was becoming desensitized, but Yui tells me that as long as I still feel remorse I haven't been desensitized yet."

The mirth immediately left Ash's face. "Oh. Right. I sorta forgot about that, since we were training Silica when the raid happened."

Kazuto patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry about it. It's not your fault that I have normal human emotions." In an attempt to inject some levity back into the situation, he joked, "Besides, like I said, I would be even more worried if there wasn't some kind of lasting emotional impact. That only happens if you're a sociopath – unless you're in one of those parody stories where character development never happens because exaggerating known character traits is funnier."

You know, that sounds suspiciously like an omake cue to me.

And what do YOU know about writing stories? I mean, it is, but…

In that case, roll film.

Omake: Fate/Sword Tuesday, Part VI

"…You know, I get the feeling I've seen you before somewhere." Kirito said off-handedly to the blond-haired man standing in the street near the Matou household. "There's a name that's right on the tip of my tongue – but what was it? I know it's not Gary, 'cause that was the name of that sadistic quest NPC who left me to die… Gilbert? Gilligan? G-"

The other man scoffed, cutting him off. "As if such names were worthy of describing such a glorious man as I. Anyone well versed in literature should be well aware of my exploits, traveling the world and defeating creatures any mere man would flee at the mention of. You should consider yourself honored to even be in my presence."

Kirito snapped his fingers, as if in realization. "That's the name. Gilderoy! Almost didn't recognize you without that award-winning smile of yours. You giving out autographs today?"

Gilgamesh stood there for several minutes with a blank look on his face, and Kirito briefly wondered whether or not the particular piece of pop culture he was referencing even existed in that universe. Eventually, however, the ancient king of Uruk remembered a certain series of books that he had read several years back to counteract his boredom. And it had worked for a while – it was always amusing to see how badly the Englishwoman who wrote them misconstrued the workings of the world's magical community.

Now, however, that knowledge simply aroused his ire. "You mongrel…" he growled. "How DARE you imply that I share any sort of similarity with that overblown windbag!"

"Well, let's see." Kirito commented idly, counting on his fingers. "Blond, impeccable fashion sense, reputation comes from stories that may or may not be exaggeration, phenomenally large ego… oh, and no facial hair to speak of whatsoever."

Oddly enough, it was that last comparison that seemed to push Gilgamesh over the edge (though not so odd if one considered how petty it was and the fact that Gilgamesh knew that). And, true to form for an omake, he blatantly overreacted. "You shall pay dearly for your insubordination, mongrel! ENUMA ELISH!"

Ea, the Sword of Rupture, unleashed a blinding blast upon the Fifth War's Saber too quickly for him to react – not that it would have mattered if he had, so wide was the attack's range.

Which was why Gilgamesh was dumbfounded when the glow faded to reveal not even a single brick out of place in the surrounding architecture. Kirito had been smashed up against the wall opposite himself, but had suffered no damage. The only indicator there had even been an attack was the purple hexagon that quickly winked out of existence.

Kirito chuckled, pulling himself to his feet. "Sorry, but that won't work in broad daylight. Archer's and my backstory means towns are Safe Zones during the day. Nice try, though."