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Sorry for the long wait but I hope that this chapter makes up for it.
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Chapter 6: Foolish Memories
"Yare, Nanao-chan. If you would ever let me finish when I'm talking to you instead of beating me with your heavy book you would know that I love you!"
After this statement, Nanao felt rooted to the spot and to her it felt like the world stood still and held its breath. She didn't know what to feel. Didn't know what to do, let alone say. She wouldn't be able to move even if she could find her scattered thoughts at the moment.
This felt unlike anything she had ever experienced. She felt so out of her element, like a fish on land.
She couldn't have heard right. She just couldn't.
"You love me?" She gasped in a strangled voice. "You. Love. Me... Do you think I'm stupid, or what? First you insult me by saying I'm a coward and then this! Who do you think you are? I know you are my taicho but not even that gives you the right to say something like that to me!"
For all her bravado, Nanao was seconds away from just crumbling to the floor and bawling her eyes out. She was only still standing by sheer force of will.
And Shunsui must have felt that because the expression on his face was infinitely tender and reassuring. He didn't want to hurt her, not at all. Shunsui just wanted to take her into his arms and hold her there safely forever, so no one could hurt her heart anymore, because he guessed that that was the crux of the matter. Someone had hurt her in the past to make her not trust in love anymore.
Shunsui could read it plainly in her eyes. And he wanted to cripple that someone. For someone as peace-loving as him it was near a declaration of war.
"Nanao-chan, shh." He tried to placate her and walked towards her carefully as if she was a cornered animal that would attack him if he made the wrong move. He had to tread lightly.
But before Nanao could do anything Shunsui was right in front of her, holding her head in the strong palms of his hands. So softly that it brought tears to her eyes.
"Do not play with me." Were her whispered words. When one tear started its hot slide along her cheek, it was stopped by Shunsui's thumb. Tenderly he lifted the teardrop from her face and it hung precariously on his digit until it made its descent to the floor between the two of them.
"Do not cry, Nanao-chan. Is it really so horrible that I love you?" Shunsui asked with a smile that was meant to reassure and lighten the mood. It didn't have the desired effect, though, instead Nanao didn't even try to hold back her tears anymore. She couldn't.
"Shh, Nanao-chan. It's alright." But Shunsui looked very panicked himself at the moment. He couldn't bear the sight of a woman's tears and combine that with the tears of his Nanao-chan, and he was in a frenzy, to say the least.
"Why do you cry, beautiful Nanao-chan? Please, tell me." Shunsui at that point was desperate to make her stop crying. He stepped closer to her body until she gripped his haori and uniform tightly in her little fists as if they were a lifeline for her. And Shunsui still held her head enclosed in between his strong hands.
"It's been too much. This is all so unreal." Nanao hiccupped. "Why are you saying you love me?"
"Because it's what I feel. It's not something I would say just to say something. The words actually mean something to me. As do you. I don't say anything I don't mean, you should know that." He said simply.
Nanao knew that but… "But why?" She demanded to know. She couldn't even understand the concept of someone like him wanting to love someone like her.
"Are catchwords enough or do you want the whole list?" Shunsui asked with a charming smile on his face.
That brought her out of her crying. Nanao blinked and sniffed at the same time, making Shunsui smile even more.
"The whole list, if you please. I like lists." She added haughtily still sniffing a bit. Was she actually considering that he could be serious? She must be really out of it. So she let him talk. She wanted to hear this.
With a smile Shunsui began, "You are a woman unlike any I have ever met. You're so courageous and brave that it astounds me and stops my heart every time I see you charge into battle."
Nanao, feeling victorious and at the same time strangely deflated, called him on that.
"Liar. You just said that I'm a coward. Did you forget that already?"
Shunsui didn't really seem to be bothered, "No I haven't forgotten and you should know that I only said that to make you not run off as you had planned on doing. A coward would have run away but someone brave would have stayed and confronted the one to tell such lies. Which one did you do? How did you act? I've seen many brave Shinigami go into battle but never with your fierceness. And never with your elegance. So, would you like to hear the other points on the list too?"
Nanao who was still holding onto his haori with one hand, dabbed at her eyes with the lapels of her uniform and made the sign with her hand for him to continue.
"Somehow I figured you'd let me continue." He breathed. "You don't hold back when you're displeased, not even with me. And I cherish honesty above all else. You are genuine Nanao-chan. Not fake, not someone who plays a part and says something in one moment and then does something else in the next. You're Ise Nanao and whoever doesn't like that can go to hell because you're you and you won't change just to conform.
The fact that you're so perfectly organised certainly helps in this Division and let's face it, it's actually you who runs this Division, Nanao-chan. You're intelligent and fiercely protective of all the members of this squad.
But what is even more important to me is that you touched my heart, Nanao. You're so deep inside of me that to take you out, would be to rip out a part of myself."
Nanao couldn't look at him because she couldn't bear the seriousness in his tone. Especially since he hadn't used the affix and had just called her Nanao. Which was unusual to say the least.
"I bet you say that to all your lady-friends." She tried to make a joke of it, not wanting to fall into this serious moment he had created.
Shunsui, though, was still solemn, "I won't deny that I have this reputation but I will deny that it's actually a hundred percent true. I am not quite this womanizing player everybody apparently thinks I am. I won't say that I've lived my life as a monk but my reputation is mostly exaggerated."
Nanao was curious because she had always thought that the rumours were a bit overdone but…
"Then why don't you say anything against those rumours, if they are false?" She wanted to know.
"How exactly should I tell everybody? Step onto a podium and then declare to one and all that contrary to popular belief I don't have a different woman every night in my bed, so any more questions?"
The way he said it made it sound stupid.
"Well, why do you have this reputation then, in the first place?" Nanao wanted to know.
Shunsui looked kind of uncomfortable at that, "Yare, Nanao-chan, I told you that I've not been a monk my whole life. My academy years were rather… shall we say, adventurous."
Nanao let a small smile grace her lips, yes, if the reputation still held from his academy years then he must have been adventurous to say the least. But somehow knowing that it had been hundreds of years ago made her feel better.
"Ah, Nanao-chan can you remember the night of the spring festival?" Shunsui asked with a tender smile.
"Which one?" Nanao asked in return, knowing exactly which one he meant. It had been truly magical…
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It was the time of the annual Spring Festival in Soul Society and every single Shinigami was looking forward to it. Even one Ise Nanao. She just loved the atmosphere and the beautiful lights. The whole of Sereitei was lit with thousands of little candles and softly glowing lanterns. It was simply beautiful.
She also liked the fact that she could wear a normal kimono once in a while, Nanao thought, looking at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a very simple dark blue kimono with little curly violet ornaments at the lapels. She loved it. It was so very much her. Simple yet complex at the same time.
When she heard a knock she got one last look at herself in the mirror and then went to the door of her quarters.
"Come on, Nanao-san", she heard, even before opening the door. Matsumoto Rangiku wasn't the most patient of Shinigami, she knew. As soon as she opened the door, her hand was snatched and she was yanked outside.
"Slow down, Ran-san." She implored, trying to get her feet under her.
"We can't slow down, Nanao. I have to hurry so I can meet up with Gin."
Nanao rolled her eyes. "Typical."
For all appearances Rangiku really cared for the newly appointed 3rd Division taicho. Nanao found him a bit creepy. No, forget that, she found him a lot creepy. There just was something about him that made you be wary of him. Maybe it was the perpetual fox-like smile that made her skin break out in goose bumps.
But Rangiku really did care about him and once when Nanao had tried to talk to her about her bad feeling Rangiku had gotten mad. Nanao wanted the best for Rangiku and she simply thought that Ichimaru Gin wasn't the best Rangiku could have. But she didn't want to do anything that could destroy Rangiku's happiness and so she didn't talk about Ichimaru-taicho with Rangiku. They had a mutual understanding.
"You shouldn't call him Gin anymore. He's a taicho now." Nanao reminded her. That was a safe topic.
Rangiku looked back at her and rolled her eyes and snorted, "I've known him for nearly as long as I've been in Soul Society. I've always called him Gin and I won't call him anything else, just because he's got a new title now. Well, maybe I will in front of other people but it's you Nanao, so Gin it is. Ichimaru-taicho… It does have something, though, doesn't it?" Rangiku asked happily. Nanao didn't dare answer that. She just looked at her friend who wore a beautiful and elaborate golden kimono that went beautifully with her slightly red hair.
As soon as they entered the "Partyzone", as Rangiku had dubbed it, Nanao gasped as she always did on first looking at the festival. It was already full dark and the colourful lights illuminated the night in a beautiful play of shadow and light.
Nanao loved to see it and revelled in the knowledge there'd be a similar sight, the next year around.
"Isn't it beautiful, Rangiku?" She whispered in awe, not daring to break the spell. And then she looked over at the spot where Rangiku was standing or better should be standing because there was no blond bombshell in sight.
Nanao sighed. Well, it wasn't the first time that something like that had happened, so she made her way to the festival alone.
She met lots of Shinigami from her squad and waved to them all, stopping for some she knew better. Her eyes roamed over the streets and the milling and laughing Shinigami. It wasn't black on black for once but reds, greens and blues were aplenty worn by the Shinigami.
Her lips curled in a smile when she saw the 5th Division taicho, Aizen Sousuke, and his devoted new fukutaicho blushingly wandering behind him. It was nearly ludicrous how that one followed her taicho wherever he went.
A splash and some curses on her left caught her attention. There was a little booth that had a small water basin on the floor filled with some goldfish and you had to catch them with a little paper catcher. You had to be very patient and accurate for this game, all virtues which the members of the 11th Division didn't have. And as new, even harsher curses rang into the night from the figures hulking around the little basin, trying their hardest to figure out the trick with brute strength, she wandered over.
She shook her head at the Shinigami from the 11th Division. Brutes. Nanao wanted to try her luck at this game and so she asked if she could have a try.
The frustrated Shinigami gladly gave her a go, lucky to have a reprieve and looking forward to seeing somebody else lose for once.
She looked at the little delicate paper catcher and thought about the possibilities for a moment and then went to work. In the matter of a second she had the fish caught and the surrounding Shinigami were gaping at her feat.
"No, no, no, that's… that was beginner's luck!" Cried the one, who had been trying to catch the fish before her, desperately and loudly, not wanting to believe that a girl could beat him. So they urged her to have a second go.
And again, with a quick and delicate movement of her wrist, the fish was caught again.
The standing Shinigami just couldn't believe it and demanded another round. Meanwhile a few passing people stopped to see what all the commotion was about. But Nanao didn't give them a thought especially since she had to refrain from a smile when she saw the other Shinigami demolish another catcher.
"It was damaged. See, I just know it was broken." He desperately tried to make his friends and surrounding Shinigami believe him. He wanted her to give it another try and after rolling up her sleeves, she caught it as effortlessly as before.
This was actually quite fun, she admitted to herself when she saw the faces of the Shinigami. The hulking figure tried to save face and cried indignantly, "She's cheating, I know it!"
Nanao ripped open her eyes and bestowed a look upon the Shinigami, her Division members referred to as the "run-and-hide" look. Rightly so. No one would ever dare to call her a cheater. Not the fukutaicho of the 8th Division. Everybody knew that Ise Nanao did everything by the book and would never do something like cheat.
"My Nanao-chan doesn't cheat!" A deep voice rumbled.
Nanao closed her eyes. There was only one person in existence who dared call her "Nanao-chan" and after concentrating on the surrounding reiatsus she knew it was really him. Hard to believe that she could have missed his reiatsu but then again, she admitted that Kyoraku-taicho couldn't be felt if he didn't want himself to be found. She knew that first-hand after running around Sereitei and the whole of Soul Society looking all over for him and finding him only in a few cases over the years.
"Taicho." She acknowledged while turning around, refraining from calling on him calling her "chan" again.
"Good evening, my lovely Nanao-chan. Dare I say that you look even lovelier than ever tonight." He gushed.
She let her eyes wander over him and she saw that he still wore his pink haori and his straw-hat but he had abandoned his captain's haori and the black uniform for a deep green kimono that complimented the little green flecks in his pink haori.
The assembled Shinigami of the 11th Division apologized grudgingly to her after recognising her taicho.
"Come, my lovely Nanao-chan. I think you've shown them that you're the best." He said happily and … proudly? She couldn't be sure but she thought that it was pride. Why did that make her stomach flutter, to know that her taicho was proud of her?
She didn't want to think about it too closely and so to show that there was nothing to be rattled about, she took the offered hand and followed her taicho a few steps, not entirely comfortable to feel his skin on hers and the intimate feel the whole situation had.
"Thank you, for clearing the situation, taicho. I think I can walk by myself again, now." And she tried to get her hand out of his clasp, but to no avail. He had quite a tight grip on her hand. It wasn't painful but… uncomfortable. She wasn't too keen on being touched by her superior. It was too intimate for her.
"Isn't it a beautiful coincidence that we meet on this special night? I want to show you something, Nanao-chan. It should begin soon." He said without acknowledging her wish to let her go.
Shunsui couldn't believe his luck. He had found his Nanao-chan at the festival and she was looking so lovely. He had wandered around, looking for Ukitake when he had heard a commotion. Curious soul that he was he had looked for the cause and imagine his surprise when he had found his fukutaicho in the middle of it. She had been leaning over the basin to catch some goldfish. Her face had been frowning a bit in concentration and her lips had curled in the beginnings of a smile. Her elegant forearms had been bare and her blue kimono with the little adornments was beautiful on her.
He saw how easily she was able to catch the fish and was proud of her. And those stupid boars from the 11th Division didn't hold a candle to her mastery. Saying that his Nanao-chan had been cheating? Oh, please.
But the real shock had been when she had actually taken his offered hand. Nanao-chan wasn't someone who touched or was touched a lot but she had touched him. The why of it he didn't particularly care for at the moment.
Her hand was the softest skin imaginable, he thought, smoothing his thumb along the back of her hand. It was difficult for a Shinigami to keep the skin of your hands smooth and without calluses with all the sword training they did.
Then some exploding noises caught his attention. When he saw the cause of it, his face lighted. They had started already.
"Come, Nanao-chan, look! Over there!" He pointed with his hand excitedly.
Nanao couldn't believe her eyes. Illuminated balloons were making their way slowly into the sky. Blue, white, green, golden… every colour imaginable! She couldn't rip her eyes from them and couldn't begrudge her taicho the excitement. She was pretty excited too.
This was certainly a new addition to the festival because she knew she would have remembered something like that from previous years.
Illuminated balloons! Beautiful! Fireworks had started in the background of the balloons too.
Other people had also stopped to stare in awe at the beautiful night sky. As the balloons got smaller and smaller they looked like twinkling stars on the firmament.
Both Nanao and Shunsui stared and didn't realize that they were still holding hands until much later.
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They had spent a beautiful time together, Shunsui remembered. They hadn't even noticed that they spent the whole night together, wandering from booth to booth, exploring new things and enjoying the atmosphere, so magical had the night been. Nanao had been very surprised and very uncomfortable when they had finally separated.
"Nanao-chan, don't you know that you're the perfect woman for me? The night of drunken sex we can't remember wasn't how I imagined our first night together to be. It was unfortunate but believe me when I say I don't regret it except for the fact that we were both drunk and I can't remember how you look naked." He said with a devilish smile.
Instead of getting angry at that remark, she found it just so him and curled the corners of her lips into a small, very small smile.
"Is that a smile I see? That's another point on the list, you see. You don't smile often but when you smile it's as if the sun rises."
Nanao looked up at him shyly, "I didn't know you held me in such high esteem." She said softly.
Shunsui, in answer, laid his forehead on top of hers, "You don't know the half of it."
Nanao was still unsure and looked at her right hand which was still clasped tightly in his soft haori, "Can we just… call a truce or something for now? I-I'm confused and I just want to be alone for a bit."
Shunsui looked into her eyes and closed them. When he talked she could feel his breath softly caressing her cheek, "Yes, of course."
Nanao wanted to turn from him at that and loosened her grip on his haori. But before she could take the first step, he caught her hand in his and stopped her.
"Remember Nanao, I'm a man of my word and I don't give it lightly."
Nanao didn't want to think about what that implied too hard because she needed to be alone for a while.
"Just give me time." She asked pleadingly and went out the door, leaving Shunsui alone in the dark office.
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Shunsui knew he should give her time but he just couldn't give it to her. He just had to be with her. He knew he couldn't leave her alone now. If he left her alone and left her to think everything through on her own she would find a gazillion reasons to not be with him. And so currently he was shunpoing all over Soul Society because one little fukutaicho had learned from him quite well how to hide her reiatsu.
After hours or at least it seemed like hours to him, he found her.
Nanao sat on the flat roof of the Division 8 office building. The only thing she was wearing was a royal blue haori, as far as he could see. She sat on a woollen blanket and both her legs were angled backwards and bare.
But what astounded him even more was the fact that Nanao wasn't wearing her glasses and neither did she wear her hairclip. Her hair fell silkily to her shoulders. Her head was tilted upwards and her eyes were closed, absorbing the feel of the night and the big moon overhead. He looked up and saw the full moon hanging over Sereitei.
He knew that she had noticed his presence. She wasn't his fukutaicho for nothing.
So, as not to destroy the moment, he said in a whisper, "I've lived for over a thousand years. But never in all those years, have I gazed upon a more beautiful sight."
Nanao didn't move but she opened her eyes and looked over at him, just turning her head.
"I should have known that you wouldn't stay away." The tone of her voice was slow and quiet and she didn't move a muscle.
Shunsui still stood at the edge of the roof, somehow not daring to invade into her space and just waited, for once, without pushing her. He looked at her, at the whole beautiful picture that she made. And it was a sight to behold. He hoped that for however long he might live he would never forget this moment. Because Nanao looked like the goddess she truly was.
After a few moments, Nanao got up and ambled seductively over to her taicho. "I don't know what we're supposed to do now but I also know that it can't stay like this." She stopped short of him and looked up into his eyes.
He looked down into her upturned face and smiled.
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Isn't that nice? And not really a cliffy, is it? Let me know what you think of the new chapter and see you (hopefully) soon.