Yo sorry for the delay in updating… School's been a bitch, and well… Yeah, I found out I might have pneumonia. I'm coming to the doctor in like two minutes… Guh. Wish me luck.

Just a warning: This is a very Maddison/Angsty chapter.

I nod, looking at the stars in the sky. They're almost as clear here as they were in Bolivia.

"Mark, I should go, I have a patient I need to attend to." Addie burst out laughing, unaware that I was watching. "A patient that I need to attend to. God it feels good to say that."

"Forget residency, how cool will it be to be an attending?" Mark laughed, almost unsure of himself, "Well, bye Addie."

"Bye Mark," Addie's cheeks were flushed and she looked better than ever, happier than ever. As Addie walked away, Mark watched her. I could see his lingering stare, his want. It was my cue to slide in. I grabbed a chair next to him.

"Hey Marky."

He looked surprised, but smiled at me anyway. "Hey kid. I keep forgetting you're old enough to be drinking."

"Shut-up!" I said, slapping him playfully. It felt good to have some kind of flirting banter with a guy, even though he obviously was interested in my sister. "I've been able to drink for almost three years now. You're just a tease."

"I've been told that a lot, I'm beginning to think there's some truth to it." He gives me a cocky wink.

"God, stop it with the frat-boy stuff. You're a doctor, if you haven't noticed. Although I guess since you're going into plastics, you don't really count." I said, knowing this would be a playful button pusher.

"Hey, don't diss plastics, woman. What if you suddenly needed a nose job? Would I be there? I only operate on people I respect."

"That's a lie." I told him. I had no idea how to bring Addie into the conversation, except to be direct. "So…How's Addie?"

"What do you mean how's Addie? You live with her."

"Well tonight, how's Addie?" I said, watching as his thoughts seemed to go somewhere else entirely.

"She's beautiful." He said, looking up at the ceiling. He tried to catch himself, but the damaged had already been done. "I mean, she's great."

"Mark, I've had my suspicions, but how long have you liked Addie?"

"Liked Addie? I'm not that much of a jerk, she's my best friend's wife." He said, snapping out of his reverie with a little bit of anger.

"Mark, I never thought you of all people would be a liar."

"Rach, you're her sister. I can't talk with you about this."

I watched his face. I had always seen sparks of Mark that escaped his natural cocky exterior. He both interested and terrified me. He was a screwed up person, but who wasn't? "Mark, do you really think I'm going to tell Addie or Derek about this?"

"Hell yes."

"I'm not. I keep secrets from them, I'm not that much of a goody-goody."

"Right." He said, drinking his beer, and slamming it on the table with a crash. A few people turned to look.

"Just think of me as your shrink. I'm not Addie's sister. I am now Dr. Kathleen Marsch."

He rolled his eyes. "I should've never told you about Katie."

"I just think it's a little weird that you've slept with your shrink, but whatever. Anyways, now I'm in character. I'm sexy shrinky Katie. How do you feel about Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd?"

His eyes were green. They sparkled. I never knew that they sparkled. "I only like her."

"Really?"

"Of course."

Even then I knew he was lying.

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Would it be the most awful thing in the world if you said you loved her?"

"Rach, I told you, shut up."

"You moved to Seattle for her."

"And she moved to Seattle for Derek." Mark says, coming to a stop at the well-lit hotel entrance. He opens the door to the backseat, and looks at Addie for only just a second, but in that second it's easy to see how much he adores her. "She's Satan." He says, quietly, slipping his arm under her back, and lifting her. He cradles her head to his neck. We wait on the elevator in silence, and slowly go up to our room. I take the card out of Addison's Coach bag, and swipe it. The door opens, and a freshly clean room awaits. Mark gently places Addie on the soft bed, and sits next to her. "Come here, kid." He says, patting the place next to him. I sit.

He looks at Addie, but talks to me. "You're too smart for your own good."

"Not gonna disagree with that." I chuckle.

"I could lie to you." He says, watching me. "But you know as well as my shrink knows that I'm a pathological liar."

"Is this Katie the shrink?" I ask, elbowing him.

He chuckles. "No. I got a new one. This one's a keeper."

"You gonna screw her?"

"It's a guy."

"Oh."

"Not half as much fun." He grins. His grin disappears when I point to Addie.

"Tell me."

He fiddles with his car keys. They jangle loudly. "I've never felt this way about anyone, kid. I think I'm in trouble."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Why is it so bad? To feel that way?"

"Rach, have you ever been in love?" He asks, his eyes on the door.

"I'm pretty sure I have." I say, thinking of Diego. Of the nights I'd spent agonizing over him. The times I'd spent analyzing every little kiss.

Mark clears his throat. "Well then you know why it's so bad. I never thought it would happen to me. I was fine with no strings attached. It was fun. But now I'm so screwed up. Fuck. I've only slept with two women since I came here; one was Addie and the other one… The whole time I was thinking of Addie." He pauses, "And Callie was good, too!" He says, looking tortured.

"You slept with Callie!?"

"I was so pissed with Addison. She still wanted Derek, even after he treated her like shit. You know, Rach, I chose Addison over Derek. I chose a girl over my best friend. That's fucked up."

I don't know what to say. I never expected Mark to actually admit this stuff to me. I don't have a prepared answer. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry!" He yells. "There's nothing to be sorry about!" He looks at me, this time straight in the face. "She doesn't want me."

"She's going through a tough time right now, Mark. You have to give her space."

"Wha…" Addison's eyes flicker open, from where she's lying on the bed. "Give who space? Rach? Mark? Are we still in the bathroom?"

"No we're at the hotel." I say, calmly.

"Shit, why did you let him in?" She snaps, in away that makes me feel bad for Mark Sloan. I feel bad for Mark Sloan. I'm taking care of my older sister. What kind of world is this? She tries to get up, and falls back on the bed. "Oh god. I think I'm going to be sick." Hearing this, Mark grabs her and runs her to the bathroom, which is only a few feet away. I try not to look, as Mark holds back her hair, and I hear retching noises. When it's over, I peer through the door. Addison is sprawled on the ground before the toilet, while Mark strokes her hair and holds her. She moans. "Mark, I want to get up."

"So get up."

"I can't. Would you please…" She pauses. "Would you please help me?"

"Wait—What? I couldn't hear that, please repeat?"

"Mark, I'm semi-drunk, and I just threw up all over the toilet. Do you want me to do it again— on you?" I can hear some ruffling in the bathroom, as he takes her in his arms and stands up.

"Aren't you going to want to take a shower?" He asks, in suggestive tones. No wonder Addie doesn't reciprocate the love. He doesn't show any signs of the sensitivity that had reared its ugly head before.

"Just bring me back to the bed." Addie orders.

He helps her up, and she leans against his chest. Her face is pale against the blue of Mark's shirt. "Oh god." Addie moans, as she hits the bed.

"Hey, Rach, do you have any buckets? I don't want to have to carry her to the bathroom every time she has to puke."

"I don't know, go find some maid and ask for one." I tell Mark, who looks a little pissed as he goes out in the hallway to find a bucket.

Addison motions for me to come to the bed, and she also looks pissed. Literally and figuratively. "Rach—

She struggles to finish my name. "You're still drunk." I tell her.

"Why did you let him in?" She croaks, and I sit next to her, stroking her hair.

"I had to. You passed out, I couldn't carry you to the car."

"Still. You could've found someone else… Instead of Mark. The guy I slept with… You know and ruined my marriage with Derek?"

"Addison. Your marriage with Derek was already ruined. It wasn't Mark's fault. Well it partially was. But mainly, the act of ruining your marriage was a group effort. And the members of the said group were you, Derek, and Mark."

"I-I can't talk about my marriage right now, Rach. But I can be extremely angry at you for bringing a guy I hate into---

Of course, like any dramatic soap opera, Mark walks in at the exact moment Addie utters the word 'hate'.

"This is awkward." He says, thrusting the bucket at me. Then he turns and leaves the room.

"Addie, you are so stupid." I drop the bucket, and go after him like any girl who cares about her older sister would.

I stumble into the hallway, where Mark is waiting—not so patiently—for the elevator. "Mark, she didn't mean it, she's drunk!"

"The only time she tells the truth is when she's drunk!"

"She's confused. She's hurting." I tell him, looking up at his glowering face.

"Brandon's birthday is tomorrow." He whispers, eyes softening.

A cold shiver runs through my body. No one has said his name out like that. It's so there, so in your face. "I know."

"It was hard on all of us." He says. "I loved him too. When he died…"

"It tore us apart." I finish for him. "When he was alive, he brought us together, and when he died, it tore us apart."

"Do you remember how happy she was? When she was pregnant. When he was healthy." He closes his eyes, and then opens them. "Derek was too. I'd never seen him happier, except on his wedding day."

"Do you remember when they found out?"

He smiles at the memory.

The hospital was bustling with people. It was one of our most busy weeks of the year—the week before Christmas. We had cases of electrocution (those damn Christmas lights), ice-skating incidents, and perilous fights over toys in the lines of Toys 'R Us. I happened to be volunteering at the hospital at that time, for extra credit in med school. More experience equals better doctors, and all that jazz. I was doing some routine tests for a child who had broken his nose running on the ice. It was bad enough that he broke his nose, but during this time of the year… He would forever be known as Rudolf.

Addie burst into the room smiling. "Rach, could I borrow you for a second?" She asked me.

"Sure." I said, assuring the little boy I would come back, and give him Tylenol. I followed Addie's quick pace into an empty room. "What is it?" I asked her.

Her cheeks were flushed and she couldn't stop smiling. It had to be good news. She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

My mouth dropped open and I hugged her. "Oh my god. Finally! Addie, this is great!"

"Yeah, I'm about two months along, I was kind of ignoring all the symptoms… Too busy, and everything…They were really mild up until now… but I realized I might be two days ago… So…" She said smiling. "I checked, and now I want you to do an ultrasound on me." She pointed to the machine.

"I'm surprised you didn't want to do this yourself." I said, as she pulled her legs into the stirrups. The stirrups always gave me nightmares.

"Well," She said. "I wanted it to be special. My first ultrasound. I don't want it to be like every other day of work."

The smile was plastered on her face. "Have you told Derek yet?" I asked, as I rubbed the gel on her stomach.

Addie shook her head. "No, not yet. God, he'll be so happy."

"He will."

We both watched as the picture came on screen. Blurry, but there, and of course, Addison knew exactly what she was seeing. She pointed to the little peanut shaped dot. "That's it. That's the baby." She smiled again.

Mark and Derek entered the room, somehow finding us. "There you are!" Derek said. "We've been looking for you all over the place…We had to get a nurse to tell us where you were… We practically had to torture her. We figured we would go out to lunch as…" I almost laughed as Derek trailed off. The look on his face was monumental. "A-Addie." He stammered, watching the ultrasound as if it would get up and talk to him. "A-are you pregnant?" Addie giggled as Derek walked closer to the screen.

"Yes, I am. It's yours by the way."

Derek laughed, "Addie! Addison! This is great news. Great news." He hugged her and kissed the top of her head. "Our baby. That's our baby." Derek pointed to a spot on the ultrasound. Addison took his hand and trailed it down a little bit to where the baby actually was.

"It's really a good thing you didn't specialize in neonatal." Addie giggled, while Derek looked embarrassed. "But yes, that is our baby." Mark and I stood together, watching the two kiss and hug and make all sorts of plans for the future. It was like we were outsiders looking in on the two happiest people we'd ever see.

And the happy cries of, "It's our baby!" echoed through my head all the way to his funeral.

"Nobody should have that happen to them." Mark says, looking somber. "We should go back. Addie is waiting."

When we get back to the room, Addie is asleep. Mark looks down at her. We're both thinking of Brandon.

"You can sleep here tonight if you want. On my bed. I'll sleep with Addie." I tell him, for some reason not wanting him to leave.

He nods. "Alright." Not one request to sleep with Addie. He must be as tortured with the Brandon thing as we all are.

When I get back from the bathroom in my pajamas, I see Mark pulling Addie's blanket up to her chin, and making sure she's comfortable. "One day you'll be with her. You deserve it." I tell him. He envelopes me in a big hug, and pads through the conjoining area to my room. He strips off his shirt and pants leaving only his boxer shorts. He is toned. Really toned. God he's toned.

He gives me one of his cocky grins when he catches me staring at him. "Goodnight." He smirks, and closes the door to the conjoined room. I'm left in the dark, lying next to a snoring Addison.

I can't sleep, thinking about the day I've had. How is it that one day, one moment in time can change everything? My life is going to be different now. It's hard to believe I'm going to have to jump back into my life with Addison and all of her hardships. I think about Mark, George, Karev, Izzie, and Meredith Grey, wondering if they're awake at this very second. I wonder where Derek is, without Addison. It's two hours before I fall asleep, Brandon's image in my head.

I feel a dull pain at my leg. I groggily look up. Addison's kicked me. I check the clock, my eyes threatening to clamp shut. The blurry red numbers tell me that it's three in the morning. I am about to go back to sleep when I hear a muffled sob.

"Addie?" I ask, my voice seeming to echo in the otherwise silent room.

I see the darkness of her head, as she turns to me. "It's nothing, Rach, go back to sleep." She says, her voice shaky.

"No. Tell me what's wrong."

She covers her head with the pillow. "Brandon." She chokes. "He was born in about thirty two minutes from now, four years ago."

I hold her, feeling her sobs wrack her body. I try to steady her. "I miss him."

"I miss him more than anything." She's almost hyperventilating at this point, forcing herself to stop crying.

"Shhh," I whisper. "Breathe."

She's silent. "What am I supposed to do?"

"What did you do last year?"

"I went to work. Derek was in Seattle." Her voice is becoming more normal, but it's stilled laced with pent up sadness. "I tried to call you, but you had some kind of emergency."

Addison sits up and pulls the blanket over our heads, and I feel like I'm ten again. I'm ten and she's seventeen. Except, now she's the one who's crying, and now I'm the one who is supposed to be comforting her. "I remember that. I'm so sorry."

She falls back on the bed, pulling her cold feet up to her chest. "How the hell am I supposed to go to work today? My patient has preeclampsia."

"Take the day off?"

"Rach, that's not going to happen. I can't just give up."

"But it's important."

She sighs. "It's been harder and harder for me to go to work lately, Rach. I keep thinking about him. A few weeks ago I had a couple that thought their baby was fine. They thought he was fine, and he just died. He died, Rach. And I'm supposed to be unaffected, but I went into the bathroom and I cried. And Callie found me. Lately, I just can't. I can't function." She says all of this very quickly, like a breath of fresh air. She sobs into my arms. "I wonder how Derek spends Brandon's birthday?"

We are both silent. We don't say a word for a while. Addison and I watch the minutes of the clock change, waiting for it to be 3:32. "Four years ago," She says, staring up at the ceiling. "At this exact time, I was terrified. God I can't even explain it."