Disclamer: I don't own The Outsiders

A/N Thank you so much to those who reviewed my story.

Whispers of a Fallen Angel thanks for comparing my writing to S. E. Hinton's. It's actually kind of a complement for me since I really like how she writes, even though it is nice to try your own style. I didn't intend that. It's just I probably read The Outsiders too many times. So her writing style stuck:) I'm glad you liked Maryann's story.

ItsallAboutPonyboy Yes, Ponyboy will get well soon. He might get well sooner than you think - read this chapter:)

DreamerandReckless thanks for liking my story.

Greasertwin thanks for sending me an email. You were on the right track with your guess, but not exactly right - read this chapter and you'll see what I mean:)

I decided not to make Pony's and Maryann's relationship too straightforward. I want them to have some reality bites before totally getting together. So, that'll be in this chapter as well as few later chapters.

Anyways, here is the chapter. Hope you enjoy:)

A few weeks passed by . Darry came down to school to talk to Mr. Syme and to the dean to explain what happened the other day. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone anymore. I had to be with somebody at all times. Most of the time it was Two-Bit , but sometimes Steve or Soda. Sometimes it annoyed the hell out of me, and I felt like a dog on a leash, but most of the time I didn't mind. I kept going to see Carol on Fridays. She showed me a few things that would make me feel better if I felt like I did the other day or if I felt like I wanted to run aimlessly to let out what I was feeling. She showed me how to breath slowly, and told me to get home immediately, and turn some really good music on. Something that I really liked, in spite of the fact, that at the moment I wouldn't be in the mood for no music. She said to even go to sleep and use the sleeping pills if I needed to. She also gave me another medication to make me relaxed if I felt panicky again. But she said to use it only in extreme cases 'cause it had side effects and it was addictive.

We became pretty good friends with Maryann over the past few weeks. Turns out she wasn't mad at me at all that day, after the night by the river. She had a huge math test that day, which was right after English. She was really nervous about it and kept talking about it with her friends. She let me borrow a few of her records, and she also told me why she ran to the front of the classroom that day. She wanted to "save" my essay. She sure is funny. She took it right out of the garbage can. I didn't want it back though, so I let her keep it.

We went out a few more times , but always with Two- Bit, who would bring a girl along sometimes, or with Two-Bit and Jesse. We have never gone anywhere alone yet. I really wanted to take her out, but it just felt, I don't know, awkward. We were becoming such good friends and I was afraid to ruin that. I was also scared that something might happen again - something like the other day, that I would lose control. I didn't want that to happen in front of her. Somehow I felt much more comfortable with Two-Bit being around.

Finally I decided to make my move and take her out. It was on a Friday night, and I just came back from Carol. I picked Maryann up at her house. Thank God Matt wasn't there this time. I didn't need his attitude right then. We went out to this diner that a lot of local kids go to. It is kind of a mix between a diner and a pool house. It is still in our neighborhood, but just a nicer and cleaner place than the ones we usually go to. More expensive too. I figured after that we could go to the movies or we could walk back to the river since she liked it so much last time.

We sat down and ordered. Maryann looked really pretty. I tried not to stare. We were just sitting there talking. I felt like I could be myself when I was with her. I didn't have to pretend, or act like someone else. It was great. She really understood. I can't believe I had English with her for 3 years in a row, and I only got to really know her now. And her eyes - the way they were shining at me. They were, I don't know, like a pair of shining magnets or something. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her badly.

Not long after we got our food, a homeless kid walked into the diner. He was really skinny, his clothes ripped. He was wearing a baseball hat that covered his face. You could only see his lips and his chin, which were pretty bruised up and dirty. He walked slowly between the few tables that were right by the door to see if there were any leftovers . He was walking a little funny too. Like he was kind of dragging his left leg after the right one. Finally some of the waiters noticed him. Some stared at him with disgust, some with pity. Finally one of them got a small piece of bread, threw some meat on it, and passed it to the kid. I wondered how old he could've been. You couldn't really tell. He was of a small build, but something in his posture showed that he wasn't that young. Or maybe it was just because of the way he was walking. He split the bread in two parts. Put one away and started eating the other one.

As he was walking towards the exit, he lost his balance for a split second, because the floor was just cleaned and it was slippery. For just a moment I could catch a glimpse of his face. In that one single moment, that short second I felt hot and cold and hot again . Sweat started running down my face. I felt like I was hit with the hammer over my head. Maryann's eyes widened . She looked really frightened. "What is it Ponyboy? What is it? Are you ok?" She didn't see the kid come in and leave, because she was sitting her back towards the door.

" Jo..." I opened my mouth, but I couldn't finish the word, "I'll be right back." I ran to the bathroom. God, I thought, I really am going crazy. This is awful, horrible. And worst of all Maryann knows it. She knows now that I'm crazy. I shouldn't have taken her out.

I turned the cold water on, and put my head in the sink letting cold water run on my head, neck and face. I washed my face thoroughly, wiped it off, and came out. I felt nauseous and it was really hard not to show how my hands were shaking and my whole body was shaking.

When I came up to the table, Maryann was still sitting there - her eyes wide opened. She looked frightened. She didn't say anything.

" I'm sorry ," I said putting tremendous effort to keep my voice steady, " I'm just... um, not feeling well." She nodded, also unable to say anything. We sat in silence for what seemed eternity. Then I thought no, no that cant' be . I have to check. I have to make sure. He couldn't have gone far yet. What if I'm not crazy, what if... I quickly threw $20 on the table and ran towards the exit. I stormed out of the diner. Oh, God Maryann, what she must be thinking of me now - my thoughts were racing. I turned around. She was standing by the door outside the diner. "Please, please Maryann don't' be mad," I yelled in the most pleading voice possible, and then I took off. I felt awful for leaving her there like that, but I kept running.

As I turned around the corner, I saw the homeless kid walking ahead of me. "Jo..., Johnny," I yelled on the top of my lungs. Not turning around, the kid attempted to run. He couldn't really run though, because of his leg. He was just walking faster, his whole body trying to move forward and his legs preventing him from doing so. I caught up with him in no time. As I reached him, I tried grabbing him to take off his hat so I could see his face, but instead I ended up pushing him, and he started falling. The hat fell off - oh God, it was Johnny! As he was falling, I saw absolute terror in his eyes, as he tried to cover his back with his hands before landing on it. Oh shit, shit his back - I quickly grabbed him right before he hit the ground. As soon as he regained his balance I let go of him.

I felt close to delirium. Johnny just stood there - such an expression of guilt on his face. He looked like he expected me to hit him. I felt like I was about to pass out. I came closer to him and started to touch his hands, his jacket, his hair as to make sure it was really him, and this was really happening and it wasn't just one of my crazy dreams. Finally, I felt exhausted and dizzy and I sat down on the ground right in the middle of the street. Johnny kept standing where he was. "How?" I finally managed, "Why?"

"I am sorry," he said quietly, "I really had no other choice."

"But how?" I repeated. He slowly sat down next to me, making sure not to hurt his back. "It's a long story," he said looking down. "You look like you are going to pass out, Pone." As he said that, it suddenly seemed so familiar and so real. It seemed like we were just hanging out yesterday. I finally started to comprehend what just happened. Johnny was back. I didn't care HOW, and I didn't want to know WHY. Johnny was back! I leaned towards him, tears streaming down my face, and gave him a huge bear hug. He was crying too. "I sure missed you, Pony. I missed all the guys." he finally managed. I smiled through my tears, "Me too."

"Where?" I asked next.

"I live at the cemetery...by Dall's grave."

"C'mon", Johnny said getting up. "We cant' be just sitting here in the middle of the street." He put his baseball hat back on so that his face would be covered. I'd laugh at that, if it was some other time - Johnny Cade goes undercover. But now it wasn't' funny. He started walking. I followed him. I was starting to get over my initial shock, but everything still felt very surreal. We walked in silence. From time to time I remembered about Maryann, and the frightened look on her face as she was standing by the door outside of the diner. That made me feel really lousy. I mean, the way I just left her there. I tried to ignore those thoughts. At least for now.

Finally we walked into the cemetery. It was very peaceful and quiet there. They always show you these spooky grave yards in horror movies with ghosts and all kinds of creatures, but this was just like a park. The leaves that fell off the trees were covering the ground like yellow -red carpet. Still it was a sad place. It looked and felt like a nice park, but instead of people there were graves. We passed by many tombstones and the dates of people's birth and death days were flashing in front of my eyes. I couldn't imagine how Johnny could possibly live here for almost three months. I came down here twice before with Darry and Soda. We came to visit Dally. And both times I could hardly stay here for half an hour. It was just too much, I don't know, too much pressure. And now too all that pressure was building up inside of me.

We reached Dally's grave. Both of us just stood there not able to say anything, but knowing exactly what was on the other one's mind.

"I saw you come here once," Johnny broke the silence, "I saw you coming and then I left real quick before you could notice me. I really wanted to come up to you guys, but I couldn't."

"You know that's really unfair to the guys," I said somewhat harshly. "They are really heartbroken over your "death" and you were all alive and didn't even bother to let us know." I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh, but it just did. I felt angry at Johnny. I mean, I almost lost my mind over his"death". I mean, I was so endlessly happy that he was alive, and yet I was angry at him - weird, huh.

"I'm sorry Pony," Johnny said looking down, "I really wanted to, but I couldn't."

We sat down next to the grave. I saw that Johnny wanted to tell me everything, but didn't quite know how start.

"So, tell me," I said.