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Chapter Six: Shattered

"Ron, are you staying for dinner?"

Ginny poked her head around the corner from the kitchen to look at Ron and Hermione. The two were still sitting on the couch, however with Faith and Isobel between them. Bliss was seated on an armchair across the room, and Hermione wasn't even sure where Harry was.

"Yeah, sure." Ron said, looking up from Faith for only a moment.

Hermione smiled. She could see how quickly he had taken to Faith and Isobel - it had surprised her, actually. She really hadn't expected it. She knew that he was still quite angry at her - and she didn't blame him - but he was really trying.

And that was enough for her.

Harry, on the other hand, had gone out earlier and not come back. Ginny didn't seem too concerned, but it had been hours now and Hermione was starting to get worried. Though, she knew she was the only one.

"When did you move out, Ron?" Bliss asked. "You used to live here, right?"

Hermione held back a laugh as she watched Ron's face begin to blush as Bliss spoke.

"Yeah - yeah, I did. I moved out about - six months ago, maybe?" Ron answered.

"Yeah, but you're here all the bloody time." Ginny called from the kitchen. "It's like you never left."

Ron laughed and Hermione couldn't help but smile. She was beginning to realize just how much she had truly missed her friends. And now bringing Bliss into the mix, it was even better.

"Mummy! I like it here." Faith called out.

Bliss grinned. "Do you?"

Faith nodded wildly and cuddled into Ron. Hermione had also noticed how easily Faith had taken to Ron. Generally, Faith had stayed away from guys when they had gone out to the park and other places in Australia - Hermione knew it was because she knew just how bad of a guy her dad was.

But with Ron, she had seemed to trust him immediately.

"Yes!" Faith called.

Isobel cuddled closer to Hermione and she looked down, sensing the sadness in her daughter's eyes. She knew that Isobel desperately wanted Harry to notice her - to spend time with her. She didn't know how to explain to her that Harry wanted to be a huge role in her life, but was just feeling out how to go about it. It was far too complicated for a kid of her age to understand.

"It's all alright, darling. It's all just fine, okay?" Hermione whispered, her voice soothing.

She kissed the top of Isobel's head and shot a look at Bliss. Bliss was already watching Isobel with concern and shook her head slowly at Hermione.

"Well, dinner will be ready in a few minutes, so get yourselves to the table, please!" Ginny shouted.

"Ginny's become quite domesticated, hasn't she?" Hermione said to Ron, lifting Isobel into her arms as they walked to the dining room.

"Oh yeah. It's kind of surprising, isn't it?" Ron said. "She really tried to take charge after the War with me and Harry. Didn't exactly work very well, but... she definitely helped."

Hermione nodded slowly. "And is she alright?"

"I think so. Sometimes. She gets quite upset about Fred sometimes, but... we all do, don't we?" Ron sighed.

Hermione placed Isobel down on her booster seat - she was quite a small child, still. Ron placed Faith next to her before making his way around the table to sit across from Faith. Hermione sat down next to him, smiling to herself when Bliss sat down on his other side. She knew that Bliss was taking to him - just as he was to her - even if neither one of them had said anything yet.

"Right, does anyone know where my fiancé went?" Ginny sighed. "Is he coming back soon?"

Ginny cast plates of food to the table. Hermione smiled when she saw that Ginny had already cut Faith and Isobel's meal of spaghetti, meatballs and garlic bread into much smaller pieces.

"Probably not." Ron said, his mouth already full of food.

Ginny rolled her eyes and sat down at the head of the table. Hermione looked between them - she had to say something.

"I know it's not my place anymore, but... should we be worried?" she asked.

"He'll be back. Just don't know what state he'll be in when he is." Ron sighed. "He does this."

"I've told you, Hermione." Ginny sighed. "He's not the same as he used to be. I know all of us have - or had - PTSD, but his..."

Ginny just shook her head, seemingly unable to say anything more. Hermione looked back at Ron and he rolled his eyes, already knowing to elaborate. She liked that he could still decipher her looks.

"He's messed up, Hermione. That isn't a secret. I mean, you've seen him. He doesn't look well, does he?" Ron said.

Hermione shook her head. He didn't really look well at all. She had noticed that he was thinner, the bags under his eyes were deep and dark. His eyes looked almost dead. Completely lifeless.

"Between me and Gin, we've tried everything." Ron said. "But we just don't know what to do."

"I'm not giving up on helping him. I won't ever do that." Ginny continued. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

Hermione could only nod. She took a small bite of her food, thinking over their words. While she had felt some relief at Harry finally knowing about Isobel, she was more stressed about the whole situation than ever. When would Ginny and Ron find out? When would everyone else? When would everything completely fall apart?

She knew it would fall apart. Of course it would.

It was too big of a secret to not have repercussions.

The question was - did Harry tell them, or did she? Did they do it together?

Yes, she was more stressed than ever.

. . .

"I just don't know what to do." Harry mumbled.

He took a long sip from the bottle of FireWhiskey and stared ahead, wiping the tears from his eyes.

He had left the house merely to buy a toy for Isobel. He had just wanted to do something for her. Then he hadn't been able to force himself to go back home. He hadn't been ready. He had just needed some time to clear his head, to think over everything.

Isobel, Hermione, Ginny, himself...

And of course, all of that had driven him to drink.

Somehow he had ended up - once again - in front of his parents' gravestone in Godric's Hollow. He had taken to coming here every so often after the War - this time actually talking to his parents, unlike he had the first time he had come with Hermione.

Hermione.

He took another drink, laying his head against his knees and letting himself cry. He missed them, even though he had hardly ever truly known them. He missed Sirius. He missed Remus. He missed Tonks. He missed Dumbledore. He missed Fred. He missed Moody. He missed Dobby. He missed Hedwig.

He missed everyone.

And it hurt so much that he hadn't a clue what to do with it all. All the pain. It was far too much for him - far too much.

"Harry?"

He sat up, whipping his head around in shock. He managed to stop his drunken vision from spinning to focus on the walking figures of Ron and Hermione approaching him. He didn't even bother to try and stand up or stop himself from crying. He put his head back against his knees, slightly calming his drunken head and letting out another sob.

"I told you he'd be here." he heard Hermione's soft voice say to Ron.

"Well, I wasn't far off when I said the pub, was I?" Ron said back.

Harry felt a hand touch his shoulder. He didn't even have to look up to know it was Hermione.

"Harry, come with us, okay?" she whispered.

Harry shook his head. He didn't want to get up - not yet. He couldn't do it. He physically couldn't.

"Mate, I know it's tough, but you've got to come home." Ron added, his voice coming from behind.

"Harry." Hermione whispered, her hand rubbing his back. "Look at me."

He didn't want to. Looking at her hurt him, as well. It reminded him of everything he had missed out on - the life he could have had with her and Isobel.

But not looking at her when she was finally right there was worse.

"Look at me." she repeated softly.

He looked up, finding her eyes shining as she smiled feebly at him. She was sitting down beside him, continually rubbing his back.

"I know it hurts." she whispered. "I know it all hurts so much, but sitting here forever with a bottle won't help you, alright? It just won't."

He knew Hermione was right. Of course she was. But he couldn't force himself to say anything to her, or do anything about it.

"Hermione's right, mate." Ron called out.

Hermione's hand trailed around to his cheek, cupping his face and gently rubbing it with her thumb. He felt tingles up and down his spine as he stared into her eyes. He knew he had to control himself around her when he was this intoxicated and feeling so incredibly vulnerable.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm here for you. I'm here for you now." she whispered.

He felt her wipe his tears from his cheeks before she scooted closer to him, pressing her forehead to his. His heart was thumping as she stared into his eyes, wiping his tears again with both of her hands.

"It's gonna be alright." she said softly.

Harry suddenly hugged her as tightly as he could, sobbing into her shoulder. He felt her hug him back, rubbing one hand on his back as she did so.

"It's all okay, Harry. It's all okay." she whispered.

They sat there for a long time, Harry crying into Hermione's shoulder. He couldn't stop - he didn't know how. At one point or another, he was pulled to his feet by both Ron and Hermione, each of them wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him steady.

"Say goodbye to them, Harry." Hermione said kindly.

Harry looked down at the gravestone and nodded, unable to form any words as he continued to cry. He felt the pull of Side-Along Apparition take over and he knew that he was being taken back to his flat. Sure enough, when he opened his eyes he found himself in his kitchen, looking into the concerned eyes of Ginny.

"Oh Jesus, Harry. It's been hours." she sighed.

Harry couldn't bring himself to say anything to her. He knew that she was upset with him, and he couldn't blame her. He had done this so many times, he wasn't sure how she put up with it anymore.

Bliss suddenly appeared beside her, putting an arm around Ginny.

"I think these two can deal with him tonight, don't you?" Bliss said. "You've done enough. Let them take care of him."

Ginny nodded slowly, though Harry knew she was feeling apprehensive. He was still completely bawling his eyes out.

"We've got him, Gin. Listen to Bliss, okay?" Ron said.

"I'm going to make you a nice cup of tea, and we're going to have a chat, darling. You sit down." Bliss said, pointing Ginny to the kitchen table.

Ginny stepped forward, kissing his forehead before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I love you, Harry." she whispered.

That just made him cry even harder.

. . .

It was taking everything Hermione had not to cry.

Her and Ron placed Harry down on Hermione's guest room bed - they had decided that Ginny should get her own bed. Isobel was asleep in Bliss's room with Faith - a good decision made by Bliss. They all had had a feeling that they were in for a long night with Harry. He hadn't stopped crying. She had never seen him quite like this.

"Ginny's dealt with this one too many a time." Ron murmured quietly to her.

Hermione nodded, turning to look at him. She could see the worry and strain in his face and she knew it was mirrored in her own. She turned back to Harry, finding him staring at them. Part of her was worried that he would say something about Isobel in front of Ron. The rest of her was just plain worried about him.

"Let's get you into bed, shall we?" Hermione decided to say, stepping forward.

Harry slowly moved backwards, Ron helping to pull him. Hermione yanked the covers over him and was surprised when he caught hold of her wrist, slipping his hand into hers.

"Don't leave." he whispered.

She looked back at Ron who's eyes gave away all of his pain. She motioned for him to come closer to them as she sat down on the bed, giving Harry's hand a squeeze.

"Please don't leave me again." he said, his voice shaking.

"Harry." she whispered, smoothing back his hair. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

Hermione slipped under the covers, sitting up against the headboard of the bed and placing Harry's head in her lap. She squeezed his hand and began to stroke his hair. Ron slid next to her, surprising her by wrapping an arm around her body and allowing him to lean into her. She looked at him and noticed he had tears in his eyes as well as he shrugged at her. She leaned into him, becoming comfortable as she watched Ron take Harry's other hand.

She could feel Ron's tears dripping onto her as she rested her head on his chest. She looked down at Harry, feeling him grip her hand extra hard.

"I need this to stop." he slurred.

Hermione lifted her head to look at Ron - he looked like he had heard this all before.

"It will, mate." Ron said. "We've talked about this, remember?"

"It needs to stop right now. I can't do it." Harry whimpered.

"You can, Harry. You know you can do it." Hermione whispered. "Deep down inside, you know it's going to get better. You know that one day you're going to be happier than ever. One day it won't hurt as much anymore."

Harry whimpered quietly and Hermione closed her eyes, leaning against Ron. A part of her longed for the days before the War - when everything was so complicated, yet entirely simple. They had always been on a mission - to end Voldemort. That had been their lives. Their lives together.

Now everything was torn apart, and everyone was hurting much more than ever before.

Soon, the three of them were lying down in bed - Hermione in the middle, just as they had the days following the War before Hermione had left for Australia. Harry was resting his head in her chest, his arms wrapped around her middle, while Ron had an arm draped over her waist, almost cradling her softly.

"Bloody hell, how did we end up like this?" Ron whispered in her ear.

Hermione shook her head slowly, rubbing Harry's back as he continued to shake with tears. She wished more than anything that she could make it better for him - for him and Ron. She hated seeing them this way - it hurt more than anything. She thought of Isobel in the next room over, sleeping peacefully. She never wanted her to feel any kind of pain close to this.

"I never should have left." Hermione whispered bitterly, mostly to herself.

"No..." Ron said quietly. "But don't beat yourself up about it."

She turned her head to look at Ron as Harry moved himself even closer to her. She saw the tears still in Ron's eyes and it almost broke her heart. She knew just how much she had hurt him - and just how much it would hurt him again when he knew Harry was Isobel's father.

"Ron, I..." she started, unsure of exactly what to say.

He shook his head. "I know you've been reprimanding yourself for three years now. Take a break right now. I'll be mad at you again tomorrow."

He smiled slightly at her, despite the tears leaking down her cheeks. Surprising her, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She tried to return his smile before turning her head back and looking down at Harry. She could hear him sobbing still into her chest, and she wished she could do something more.

"It's alright, Harry." she whispered.

She just wished that she could believe her own words.