holy shit its been a long time

I was nervous, did she still live in the same apartment? Would she even want to speak to me? What if Collins picked up?

Fuck it. I had to talk to Angel again. I needed too. I slipped out of bed careful not to wake Mimi I t was 3am but I couldn't sleep until it was done. I tiptoed over to the phone and dialed the familiar seven digits not knowing if she even still lived there.

It rang for an eternity before the answering machine picked up.

It was her voice, "Hi this is the apartment of Collins and Angel," They just got together, they move fast. "We can't come to the phone right now-"

"We're probably banging," Collins voice cut in.

It made me smile but my stomach turned over in knots.

"Collins," her voice laughed.

"We'll call you back a bit later," he said.

Before the message tone went off I could hear them kiss. I didn't know how I could be so happy and jealous at the same time.

Beeeeep!

"Um, hey it's Roger, Angel I was wondering,"

Someone suddenly picked up the phone, "Hello?" It was her.

"Hey..." I said not sure where I was going with this.

"Oh, um hi." He knew it was me.

"Hi."

"Um, h-how are you?" his voice was low and raspy he was trying to talk quietly.

"I'm, I'm good... you're answering machine is cute."

"Oh... Thank you, Collins is asleep right now. Wh-what did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to catch up.. maybe grab some lunch and just talk."

"Um," he was nervous you could hear it in his voice. "Sure, that would he nice. When?"

"Tomorrow?"

"I can't I have plans with Collins. I, uh, I can't believe you hid this guy from me all these years."

"It's cause I knew he was perfect for you."

It was true and it was hard to admit. Collins was twice the man I'd ever be. He was kind, witty, generous, and most importantly, he was incredibly patient. It took a lot to get him mad, he always wanted to know the whole story. He loved without fear, and he would worship the ground Angel walked on.

"You got that right," he added with a giggle. "Maybe we can go to the Life monday afternoon? I normally drum in the afternoon so I'll just skip it and meet you."

"Alright, monday afternoon." I repeated and hung up, it had been my most awkward experience in a while.

I crept back to bed and pulled Mimi close to me. She was my match, where Angel was more submissive, she challenged me. She was as stubborn as I was and wouldn't take my bullshit. We are going to fight a lot but we're also going to love a lot. Like fire and ice, passion and desire.

I felt more relaxed, I played with her long curly hair until I fell asleep.

Mimi and I spent the next day together just the two of us, getting to really know each other it was nice. She listened to all my stupid stories from my childhood they made her laugh. She had the most beautiful laugh, her stories weren't as happy. But she thought they were, there was always something in them that made them a little melancholy drugs, exes, abusive family members, cops.

Soon it was monday, and for some reason I lied about where I was going. I told Mark and Mimi I was going to visit the old drummer from my band. I didn't have to lie they could have known where I was going but I didn't want them to judge me or come along. So I lied.

I walked slowly to the cafe, I haven't been this nervous in a long time. I was relieved that I made it there first and got us a table. The staff wasn't too happy to see me here after our dance party last time. I stirred my water, just waiting and staring off into space until I hear here voice.

"Is this seat taken?"

I looked up at her from the booth and gave her my old smirk I used to always give her, "It's yours, if you want it."

She smiled and sat down. She looked picture perfect like always; her wig was her normal black bob, she was wearing hot pink tights, a jean mini skirt with patches she'd sewn on herself, and a black shirt covered in pink hearts. She held her purse and her black faux fur jacket.

"You look nice," I commented.

"Thank you," she smiled at her hands and sat down. "I'm glad you called."

"Of course, I-I wanted to know how you are."

"I've been great especially these past few days! Why did you hide Collins from me?"

"Cause I knew you two were a better match," I smiled and drank my water. "What did he say when you told him you were coming here?"

"Oh, um" she turned red. "He actually doesn't know. I just, it was just-"

"Easier to lie..." I finished for her.

"Yeah..."

"Nobody knows I'm here either."

She smiled,I could tell it made her feel better to know we were in the same boat. We both were ashamed and hated who we were when we were together but we still enjoyed each others company.

"Do you still..." I trailed off and tapped the side of my nose.

It clicked in her brain of what I meant, "Nope I'm clean."

"Good, me too."

"Yeah, Collins told me."

"Does he know about?"

"That we used to hang out? No."

"No I mean..." I began to mumble. "About your old job?"

"Oh," she looked down at her lap ashamed. "Yea I told him."

"What did he say?" I couldn't help but be curious.

"He held me, he held me tight, and let me cry and tell him. He wasn't mad at me, but he was mad at all men I had to be with. He's unlike anyone I've ever known."

"I'm happy for you. I really am," I grabbed her hand on the table.

We talked some more about the old days of when we used to hang out. Old stories of things no one else would get or understand, the kind of stories you had to be there for. It was great. It was like nothing changed, well except I had a better attitude. I missed this. I missed her.

As stupid as it sounds, I think in some way we were meant to be together. Not as a couple we've proved we don't work well in that aspect, but in a different way. Like kindred spirits, or soul mates, just meant to be friends together and find each other to watch the world burn. After hours of sitting together in that booth I walked her home. I smiled as we walked down the street I wasn't afraid to be seen with her and when we made it to her apartment she invited me up for a beer. I wasn't nervous or thinking about sex, because that's not why I was climbing all these stairs to her door. I was coming up for a beer and we both knew it.

When she opened the door Collins was already there watching TV and waiting for her. He got up and gave her a hug and a kiss. I leaned on the frame of the doorway and laughed they were cute together, it made me miss Mimi a bit.

"Where mine?" I teased Collins puckering my lips for a kiss.

Collins laughed and pulled me into a hug laying a huge wet kiss on my cheek.

"Ugh sick!" I rubbed off the spit on my sleeve.

We all laughed and hung out. Slowly, over the next few hours we started inviting more people over. First it was Mimi, and frankly I was happy to see her, I hugged tightly and she sat on my lap most of the time. Then mark, and soon after Maureen and Joanne. We had everyone over in this small apartment and it was great. No hate, no awkwardness, just love between all of us. And we couldn't be happier.