Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews. I know these chapters are short, however there's 2-3 of them a week, so I hope that's enough of a mitigating factor.
No one spotted the continuity error (yet), so I'm leaving it as it is. Many thanks to ShallICompareThee who spots my typos and takes the time to point them out (as well as leaving great reviews and what I find the most impressive is English isn't even her first language). I've corrected the last chapter's typos now by the way.
CHAPTER SIX
He continues purging his life, his room, removing physical elements of memories. He has to swallow convulsively to force the tears away several times, and Carole takes the bag from him, handing him an empty one before leaving him to it. The hardest thing he has to do is the music. He puts his computer on mute and deletes the entire folder named Blaine, with a little heart beside it. He hates this right now, that some of his favorite songs are now tarnished by their association with Blaine. It's so unfair. He lets the tears come then, but he's angry as well, angry that Blaine has forced him to this as well and that he's letting him.
He doesn't know how long he cries for, but he feels emotionally drained and exhausted when he's done. His lack of sleep isn't helping. His phone has been beeping and ringing, and he knows without looking that it will be Blaine. Tomorrow he will call up his service provider and see what he can do about getting Blaine's number blocked. He doesn't understand why Blaine is trying so hard to get hold of him, unless he thinks there's nothing wrong with what he did. Unless he wants to do it again. The thought of that has him bolting for the bathroom where he retches violently, bringing up nothing but stomach bile.
He drags himself back into his room, and he's shaky, for different reasons now though. He hasn't eaten since last night, but the thought of food makes him feel worse. He needs distraction, so he logs in to his computer, figure out what his friends are doing, do a little silent cyber stalking. He does a double-take, surprised that he's already received an e-mail from Dave. He smiles when he reads it. Dave types exactly how he talks, pauses and all. He's glad that Dave has come out to his dad, taken that hugely significant step, but it's dwarfed by his own feelings right now and he can't bring himself to e-mail him back and congratulate him.
That evening he plans his outfit for tomorrow. He's dressing down. He doesn't want to draw attention to himself, doesn't want to make himself easy to spot. He has no idea what he's going to do long term about Blaine and Glee club and how their lives are so interlinked, but short term, until he can figure out some better coping strategies he's going with plain avoidance.
He pulls out his plainest jeans, the baggiest ones he owns, which still aren't that baggy, but suit his purpose. They're a bit old, definitely out of fashion. Perfect. He scans his shoe boxes, looking for the shoes he got almost two years ago. They're right at the back, a clear indication of how little he wears them. Hiking boots. Shoes he'd bought in the completely failed attempt to try and connect better with his father, before realizing he didn't need to try at all. A plain black t-shirt, something he'd bought with intentions of sewing together with another t-shirt to make something unique. And a cap.
When he goes into the kitchen the next morning dressed in his low-key ensemble his dad does a double take and his eyes darken, and he knows he isn't angry at him and he can't help be grateful that he has such a wonderful and supportive family. Finn hasn't even noticed yet, intent on his breakfast and trying to read the sports page of the newspaper upside down from where his dad has it spread out.
"You know you don't have to go to school today if you don't want to kiddo…"
"I have to do it sooner or later dad. Might as well get it over and done with now."
Finn looks up then and he frowns at Kurt.
"Dude, what are you wearing?"
"Clothes Finn. They're called clothes."
Finn looks confused, glances at Burt who shakes his head slightly, and that's all Finn needs to shrug unconcernedly and go back to eating.
He leaves for school early, dropping Finn at Rachel's on the way so they can make out or whatever. He gets there a whole forty minutes early, and instead of parking in the prime locations he parks down the street and around the corner, because he knows he can't avoid Blaine if he's loitering by his car.
He knows Blaine's schedule as well as his own, and he's been at McKinley for a lot longer, so he's pretty confident he can avoid Blaine. He goes to his homeroom and sure enough the teacher is there already, marking papers. He's a good student, and right now he's going to use that to his advantage. He knocks on the door of the class and asks if it's alright if he skips homeroom to go to the library to study. She does a double take at his outfit, almost as if she doesn't recognize him; he gets an easy smile and immediate agreement though.
He collects all the books he needs from his locker, they're heavy, but he knows not having to come back and forth lessens the chance of Blaine ambushing him in between classes. When it's time to go to class he moves quickly, cap over his hair, and he sees a few of his friends, and Blaine. He tenses and steps into a tiny alcove where a water fountain is located, bending down and pretending to take a drink. When he cautiously stands again Blaine has gone.
"What the hell are you wearing?" Mercedes asks when he sits beside her three classes later, not long before lunch. He shrugs.
"I…am not feeling so good. Needed a change."
"It's a change alright. I barely recognized you."
Good. That's what he'd been betting on, however it's only going to be a few days before the people around him acclimatize to seeing him dressed like this.
"Don't worry, it's only short term. Just until I feel a bit better."
She's frowning, looks a bit worried and he tries smiling as best he can. Even just a few months ago she would know something more serious is bothering him, but she doesn't probe any deeper. The class finishes and they have the next class together as well, and it's then that he hears him, calling out Mercedes' name and not his own. He mutters 'bathroom' under his breath and ducks into the bathroom, locking himself in a cubicle, Blaine's voice still ringing in his ears.
Too close. Too close. Too close.
His breath is sharp and staccato. He can't be here anymore. Needs to go home. He waits for the bell to ring and for the hallway to quieten before slipping out. Blissfully empty. He heads to the front office and informs them he's feeling sick and going home. They make him wait while they ring his father to inform him. He listens as she talks, and suddenly she looks at him, eyes wide.
"No Mr. Hummel, he's not crying…"
Kurt takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes. His dad is wonderful, but he can be so over protective. Although he's kind of wishing he'd actually listened to his dad for once, then he wouldn't be running scared right now. He's allowed to go and he almost runs to his car and feels relieved when he gets in and locks the door. He quickly sends a text message to Mercedes, telling her he's gone home sick and asking her to pick up his homework for him. While he has his phone out he rings his service provider and gets them to block Blaine's number.