Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter (although from what I've heard about DH, I'm not sure if I'd want to own him)
A/N: Again you guys leave me such wonderful reviews. sigh I love you all so much! So as promised, here is the next chapter. Some surprising conversations wink
Chapter 6:
Harry woke up tired. His plan to sleep on the situation failed. Instead of sleeping, he spent most of the night wondering about yesterday. His thoughts plagued him all the way to breakfast. He sat down next to Seamus and started putting food on his plate. He jumped when he felt a hand gently touch his shoulder.
"Are you ok, Harry?" Hermione asked concerned.
"Yeah, I just didn't sleep well last night."
She sat down next to him and looked at him, her brown eyes filled with concern. "Are you having nightmares again?"
Harry inwardly laughed. He hadn't stopped having nightmares, especially after the DoM incident. Now his dreams were about Voldemort, Sirius's death, and Hermione being cursed.
He was snapped out of his thoughts by another warm touch and the sound of his name. He looked up to see Hermione staring at him. How long had she been saying his name?
"Are you having nightmares again?" she repeated, her grip on his arm tightening slightly.
"They haven't stopped," he admitted.
"Oh Harry," Hermione said sadly, and then quickly hugged him. "What was this one about?" she asked as she released him.
Not wanting to mention what had really kept him up, he said, "Sirius." Hermione hugged him again and his insides squirmed, but he wasn't sure if it was because of guilt or something else entirely.
"See, I told you it was vanilla," some one said.
Harry's head snapped up. "Vanilla?" he questioned, and then mentally kicked himself when he looked at Hermione.
She smiled slightly. "Yes Harry, the pudding is vanilla, not butterscotch."
"Oh." Harry mentally kicked himself again for his lame response.
Thankfully he was saved from explaining by McGonagall.
"All students who need to go to Hogsmeade may leave at this time," she announced. As expected all the students above third year stood up and left, leaving the rest of the school with envious looks on their faces.
"Wait up, Harry," Hermione said as she grabbed his hand to stop him. "So where do you want to go first?"
"It doesn't matter. I need to get a new dress robe, but other than that, I have no specific place to go." They followed the group into Hogsmeade.
"Professor Dumbledore has given you the whole day at Hogsmeade," McGonagall said. Cheers were heard and she coughed to gain everyone's attention again. "But remember that you are still students at Hogwarts. Prefects, I expect you to uphold your duty. That is all. You may go now." She finished and then headed back to school.
"Yes, no Snape!" Harry said happily.
"And you get to spend the whole day with me. What could be better?" she asked smiling.
"Well-" Harry began, earning him a playful punch from Hermione.
"Let's go to the Three Broomsticks," she suggested, grabbing his hand and pulling him along.
Harry felt the warmth again where her hand held his. His insides fluttered and he unwillingly thought back to their kiss.
It was just an accident. We're best friends, we've been best friends for 6 years. It's normal to wonder about our relationship. Besides, if I liked Hermione like that then I'd be all nervous around her like I was with Cho.
But you've always been comfortable around Hermione, another voice chimed in.
Harry shook his head to clear his thoughts. He felt Hermione touch his shoulder and he looked up at her in surprise.
"Are you ok Harry?" she asked for about the fourth time that day.
Wish I knew.
"Yeah sorry, I just spaced out for a moment." He offered her a smile, and when she took his hand again, he really smiled.
It's because Hermione's such a good friend.
He told himself that all the way to the Three Broomstick and managed to convince himself of it. Almost.
Once they entered the building, they ordered two butterbeers and sat down. For the first time in what felt like forever, Harry felt nervous and frantically begin searching for things to say.
"Harry, are you sure you're ok? You look nervous," Hermione observed. Thankful that she didn't touch him, Harry quickly answered, "I'm fine." His voice sounded very strained and Hermione cocked an eyebrow but didn't say anything.
They heard a door open and turned and saw Luna enter, dragging Ron in as well. Harry and Hermione turned toward each other and smiled before turning back to Luna and Ron. Ron looked around frantically and spotted them. He mouthed "help me." Harry smiled evilly and mouthed back, "Not a chance." He then turned back to Hermione.
"I don't know whether to feel sorry for Ron or Luna," he joked. He paused for a second and then he and Hermione both said, "Luna." They looked at each other and started laughing again.
"So when did you become so fond of Luna?" Harry asked, wondering why he was so nervous earlier, because he was at ease now. Hermione gave him a questioning look so he went on. "Well last year every time she spoke your face would get all strained."
"It did not," she defended. Now it was Harry's turn to raise his eyebrows. "I just thought her ideas were a bit. . ."
"Looney?" Harry supplied.
"Your word, not mine." She smiled.
"Anyway, what changed?"
"The Department of Mysteries. She was very helpful. She really proved herself." Harry nodded his agreement.
"Now if only Ron felt the same way," Hermione sighed.
"Well he is going to the ball with her," Harry said quietly.
"Yeah, but only because I turned him down."
"So why did you?" Harry questioned, wondering why he was so concerned.
"Because I didn't want another Yule Ball fight," she said after a long pause.
"But you told him to ask you first next time, and he did. I don't get it?" Harry said, and frowned when Hermione laughed at him.
"I was fifteen then. I'm almost seventeen now. A lot has changed. I've changed. Besides, I don't know if I could put up with Ron all night."
"So you are going alone?"
"Looks like it."
"C'mon, you can't tell me that there's not at least one guy you would want to go with." Something flashed across Hermione's features.
"It will be good to go without worrying about entertaining some one else." Harry didn't believe her but didn't pressure her for more.
"Well it's their loss. They'll be missing out on a great night with a great girl," Harry said sincerely. Again something flickered across her face, but it quickly vanished. She smiled at him and thanked him.
"What for?" he asked surprised.
"Just. . . just for being you," and then she kissed his forehead. Butterflies filled his stomach and he tried to force them away.
"Well let's go somewhere else," Hermione said standing up.
"Where now?"
"I don't care. Any place you want to go?"
Harry thought for a second and thought of a place. "Hermione could we. . . could we go to the shrieking shack?" He barely finished his sentence because his voice had started to shake. Hermione grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently.
"Of course we can," she said softly, and when Harry glanced at her, he saw that silent tears were sliding down her cheek.
"I-I didn't mean to make you cry," Harry said quietly, trying to fight back his own tears.
"No, its ok. Let's go," she said and pulled him towards the shack. Harry gave her a grateful smile and he noticed that she had tightened her grip on his hand.
When they reached the shack the sat down on a large rock nearby. Hermione waited for Harry to say something and when he didn't, she looked at him and saw that he had his face in his hands and he was silently shaking. She got up and kneeled in front of him, taking his hands in hers. He looked up slightly and Hermione saw his tear-stained face.
"Harry," Hermione began quietly.
"It's not fair. Why do I deserve this?" he asked, his voice shaking out of anguish and anger.
"You don't deserve this, Harry. No one does."
"Why couldn't Neville have been marked?" Harry said bitterly, remembering the prophecy. Hermione flinched at the bitterness in his voice.
"You don't mean that," she said quietly.
Harry sighed. "I know. It's just the stupid prophecy."
"The one that was destroyed?" Harry nodded and told her all he knew. Hermione covered her mouth with a hand.
"So you both can't live while the other one does?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly.
"Yeah, so in the final fight, it's either him or me. Needless to say, I hope it's me," Harry said, his voice sounding strangely neutral.
"Oh Harry." Hermione stood up and hugged him tightly. "You'll win, I know it."
"I'll try to win Hermione. For you I'll try." Harry closed his eyes and put his arms around her waist, leaning his head on her shoulders and breathing in her comforting scent. He felt her arms tighten around him and felt her rest her head on his, her presence soothing him in ways he could never imagine.
"I can't do this alone," he softly admitted. Hermione released him slightly so that she could look at him. "You're not alone." She touched his cheek. "I'll never leave you."
Harry leaned into her comforting touch. "Thanks, Hermione." Harry said gratefully as he kissed her cheek. "I seem to be saying that a lot."
"I don't mind," she said with a smile. She stood up and grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "Enough of this gloom. Let's go to Honeydukes."
They arrived at Honeydukes and their mouths immediately began watering. They looked at each other and then excitedly walked around looking for their favorite treats.
"We must look like little kids," Hermione laughingly commented. "It reminds me of Halloween."
"Wish I had a good memory of Halloween," Harry said. Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile.
"Don't feel bad Harry. Sure you didn't get to go, but you weren't missing much."
"Did you parents let you eat candy? You know with them being dentists."
"No, I was allowed to eat candy." Her voice fell and Harry knew she wasn't telling him everything.
"So why did you say that I wasn't missing much?" he asked, realizing that there was so much he didn't know about her childhood.
"I didn't want to go alone."
"Were you scared or something?" Hermione laughed at his question.
"No, not that at all. I didn't have anyone to go with." Her voice had gotten quieter during her recollection and Harry could see the child come alive from the memory.
"You're parents didn't go with you?"
"Well yeah, but it wasn't the same, and I didn't want them to have to come along with me." She paused for a few seconds and then continued. "No one liked me in the muggle world either. It was bad enough being brainy and having bushy hair and buck teeth." Harry felt himself getting angry about the direction this was going. "And then when weird things started happening, with my magic, it was even worse. It's funny how little has changed. I still don't really have friends and I'm still known as the ugly bookworm."
Harry didn't find it funny at all. "You are not ugly, Hermione!" He hadn't meant to shout it, but he had to get through to her somehow. After his outburst, Honeydukes became quiet and everyone stared.
"Well that confirms two things: Potter is for sure off his rocker and he is in fact a mud-blood lover," Draco's slithery voice spoke. His fellow Slytherins laughed and began whispering among themselves. "You know Potter, at least Chang is pretty. Although Granger can use that mop she calls hair to clean off the floor from her slime." The Slytherins howled with laughter.
Harry instantly pulled out his wand. Everyone got silent again and even Malfoy appeared scared. "Sadly Malfoy, you aren't even worth my time," Harry said, loathing dripping with every word. He sheathed his wand in his robe and turned away.
Hermione released a breath she hadn't know she was holding. She walked up to Harry and put a hand on his arm. "Harry, I'm so proud of you for not hexing Malfoy."
"Yeah well it would have been no less than he deserved," Harry said, his anger still evident.
"True, but that wouldn't have made it right."
"No use staying here," Harry said, and he grabbed her wrist and walked outside.
They walked in silence for a few moments before Harry broke it.
"You know, Malfoy is wrong," Harry stated, "about me being off my rocker."
"Oh Harry I know that," Hermione said, surprised that he doubted her.
"I don't think you do." He knew he wasn't making much sense. "I said that you weren't ugly, and Malfoy said I was crazy. You aren't ugly, so don't believe him."
"That's just Malfoy being himself."
"But that doesn't mean you don't believe him." Harry sighed and grabbed her shoulders. "Hermione, I think you are really pretty. I also know Malfoy is an ass," he said. He was stunned at his own honesty. Not that he didn't think that she was pretty, just that he thought he might have been too honest.
A small smile played across her lips, and a light blush tinged her cheeks and Harry knew that if he needed further proof that she was beautiful, that was it.
"Thanks, Harry. You're a great friend," she said sincerely.
"I'm just opening you're eyes," he said modestly, a little uncomfortable by her thanks. "Well I think that's enough Hogsmeade for one week."
"You're telling me," Hermione agreed and they began heading back to school.
"Hermione!" Ginny's voice was heard. "Wait up!"
Harry and Hermione stopped and waited for the red head to catch up.
"What's up Ginny?" Harry asked when she reached them.
"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to Hermione," she answered slightly out of breath.
"Alone," Ginny said when she saw that Harry hadn't moved. She dragged Hermione away.
"I'll just see you at dinner, Harry," a retreating Hermione shouted.
Harry waved and watched her go, feeling more lonely than he had in a while.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Hermione asked her friend.
"How do you know if you are in love?" Ginny asked suddenly, and she could tell that she had shocked Hermione.
"Wouldn't your mom know better?" Hermione asked, her discomfort obvious.
"Maybe, but it's too much trouble to owl her," Ginny said immediately, as if expecting Hermione's question. Realizing that she wouldn't be able to get out of it, Hermione considered her answer.
"Well, speaking solely from a bystander's point of view, I would say you know you are in love when you want to spend every moment with that person. When you wake up and smile, simply from knowing that you'll see them today. I think being in love means willingly sacrificing everything to be with that person, no matter what the consequences."
During Hermione's speech, Ginny had leaned forward, listening intently and hanging on every word.
"Um, Ginny, you are only 15. Isn't it too soon to be thinking like that?"
"It's never too soon for love."
"Well, why did you ask?"
Ginny paused several seconds before answering. "Well I think I am in love with Harry!"
Hermione was completely thrown back by her admission. "But. . .that's not. . ." Hermione frantically tried to talk to her friend.
"Well I want to spend all my time with him. I am happy when I know I'll get to see him, and he saved my life," Ginny answered defiantly.
"But. . . isn't that. . . Ginny are you sure it's not just a crush?" Hermione hated being so blunt but Ginny needed to hear it.
"But I've liked him even before I came to Hogwarts. And your definition of love fits what I feel for Harry."
"How could you like him before you knew him?" Hermione desperately tried to sway her friend.
"What's not to like about him?" Ginny asked.
"Ginny, Harry is my best friend and has been for 6 years now. Even now there are things I don't know about him. So how can you possible know you love him if there is so much about him you don't know?"
"Hermione, he is the Chosen-one!"
"That's just a title. Harry is just Harry."
"I know that Hermione, I'm not stupid."
Hermione sighed. "What do you see when you look at Harry?"
"Well I see his gorgeous eyes, his scar, his glasses, he nice arm muscles, and all and all, the hero of the wizarding world." Ginny smiled, pleased with herself. Hermione sighed again and looked at Ginny with pity.
"That's how everyone else sees him too. Anyone with eyes can tell that about him."
"Well what do you see when you look at him?"
Hermione was surprised by Ginny's inquiry. She paused to consider. "When I look at Harry I see everything everyone else sees. But I also see a scared sixteen year old boy who is forced to grow up, forced to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. I also see a kind, compassionate man who, despite being mistreated his whole childhood, values everyone's life above his own. I see a true hero and a true friend. I see Harry James Potter, my best friend.
"It seems to me that you do know what love is. From a personal point of view," Ginny said quietly, studying Hermione inquisitively.
"Wh- what?!" Hermione couldn't believe what Ginny was suggesting.
"He's with Cho, Hermione. And while I know you deserve him a lot more than she does, that doesn't change anything."
"That hasn't stopped you," Hermione pointed out.
"True, but at least I'm not too far gone."
"That's. . .I'm not. . . I don't. . ." Hermione began.
"Hermione, it's bad enough lying to me, but lying to yourself is even worse." It was Ginny's turn to give Hermione a pitying look.
"Ginny, I won't deny that I've thought about it, but he's my best friend. I cannot have feelings for him, whether he is with Cho or not."
"What is it with you and him thinking that there is some law against liking your best friend?" Hermione didn't answer so Ginny continued. "So you are saying that you don't enjoy being with him? You don't enjoy simply being in his presence, touching him?"
"Yeah I like it. I'm really comfortable with Harry. It's perfectly fine to do that with your best friend."
"Is Ron your best friend too?" Ginny asked, and when Hermione nodded she asked, "Do you do that with him?"
Hermione blushed. "Goodness no! We aren't close like that. I wouldn't feel right doing that with him." Hermione realized what she said and tried to amend it. "Well what I meant was-"
"You meant what you said," Ginny said plainly. "Are you saying you've never thought about Harry that way? About what would it be like to kiss him? I have," she admitted shyly.
Feeling more uncomfortable, Hermione shifted restlessly and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Ginny smiled knowingly.
"You have!" she accused. "I knew it!"
"It's not. . .I don't wonder. . ." Hermione said almost too soft to be heard.
Ginny's eyes widened in realization and her mouth opened. "Oh. My. God! You don't wonder, you know!!! It's written all over your face! How did I not notice before?" Ginny said excitedly. "Better yet, why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm really sorry about not telling you. It's just that I've been so overwhelmed by it all. I mean this isn't a normal thing for any of us. If anyone else finds out, it could ruin my, Harry's and Ron's friendship forever. Not to mention that Cho would hate me."
"Well she already sees you as competition. And now you are. So when and how did it happen? And of course how was it?" Ginny asked excitedly.
"Well the first time it happened-"
"It happened more than once?!" Ginny interjected.
"Anyway, the first time was when we had prefect duty. I was saying how Harry and Ron were such great friends and he kept asking me what I meant." Hermione took a breath and continued. "Then he said he was tired of talking and I asked him what he was talking about, and he kissed me." Hermione finished, and was surprised when she realized that her hand had subconsciously moved to her lips in recollection.
"And how was it?" Ginny asked anxiously.
"It was-" she paused for the right word, "incredible."
Ginny squealed with excitement. "What happened after that?"
"Well we were both stunned about what happened. We didn't say anything the rest of the night. But it was so perfect! We were under the stars and we had ridden on his broom and he gave me his robe."
"That is so romantic!" Ginny sighed. "What about the other times?"
"Well there was only one other time," Hermione explained, "and it was the next day. I wanted to talk about what had happened the night before and we agreed to meet at two in the room of requirement." She stopped to remember the details, even though it had only happened a few days ago. "Well I went to go to breakfast and Cho was outside. Apparently I looked upset because she invited me to eat with her. I thought for a moment that she knew something had happened but thankfully she didn't. But anyway it was pretty awkward. Her friends wanted to talk about Viktor." Ginny cringed for her friend.
"But thankfully breakfast ended and I went to read. Then Ron and I got in a fight- I know, what a shock- and I went to lunch mad. Harry met up with me and we went to the Room of Requirement."
"We opened the door and the room was filled with Rita Skeeter articles about us and there was one loveseat to sit on. We walked over and sat down and talked and argued about Cho. Then Harry asked what I wanted and I said, 'Something I don't think you can give,' and he said that he never wanted to hurt me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to face him and the next thing I knew, I was kissing him again."
"And how was the second kiss?"
"Better than the first," Hermione admitted softly. "But I'm so confused right now. I mean sometimes it's like nothing has happened, and we are still just best friends. But other I times, I get butterflies whenever we touch, and even when he looks at me. I don't know what to do."
"I wish I could help you. I always knew you had a special place in Harry's life, but he is with Cho, and I know you wouldn't mess that up for anything," Ginny said as she grabbed Hermione's hand.
"As long as he's happy, even if I suffer, that's all that matters," Hermione said, tears slowly falling down her face.
"And one day, he'll realize that." Ginny squeezed her bushy haired friend's hand reassuringly. When Ginny squeeze her hand, Hermione broke down crying.
"Why can't I like Ron? Or Neville? Anyone else?" Hermione sobbed, hugging Ginny.
"Because you can't control your heart. And you know that you wouldn't want anyone else." She released Hermione and gave her a reassuring smile. "No one ever said falling in love was easy."
"Sorry that I was so blunt with you about your feelings for Harry," Hermione said, wiping her eyes.
"No need to apologize. I needed to hear it. And honestly, I thought you and Harry had something going," Ginny said with a smile.
"Really? Since when?"
"Since about your third year."
Hermione gave a laugh. "I guess that's about right. I think I started having feelings for him around the time we went and saved Sirius. The summer going to our fourth year is when I realized it. At the world cup. But then when Krum began showing interest in me I tried to push it aside, and it worked for a little bit. But even he knew something was going on, which is why he questioned Harry."
"I always wondered if Krum suspected anything, you know, with the articles going around. Well anyway, we should be getting back. Harry will probably come looking for you with half the D.A if we don't get back soon." Ginny gave Hermione a smile, which the witch returned.
"Thanks for everything Ginny." Hermione hugged her.
"No problem. We need more girl talks."
"Yes we do. Sometimes I miss having a female companion, what with having two guy friends."
"Anytime you need to talk, just find me."
"I will, and of course the same goes for you." They walked back to Hogwarts, Hermione feeling like a huge weight had been lifted.
A/N: So they talked about Sirius more, but mainly I wanted Harry to tell Hermione about the Prophecy. And of course its always good for her to know that Harry thinks she's pretty. Anyway, I'm not a Ginny hater, so I tried to put her in a good light (I hope you liked how she was) and I though her and Hermione needed some quality "girl talk" time so they had a nice little chat in which some things we realized. Well this originally was a longer chapter, but I broke it up to keep it from being too long.
Chapter 7 will be coming soon! Please continue to read and review. And to all of those who have their copy of DH, happy reading (you lucky dogs you. I pre-ordered mine, but I can't pick it up for about another week :( well anyway, I hope it doesn't disappoint you)