CHUCK VS. THE MISSING MEMORIES
DISCLAIMER: I don't own "Chuck."
SUMMARY: It's 10 years in the future and when Chuck wakes up after an accident, he doesn't remember any of the past 10 years including the intersect and all of the changes that have occurred in his life.
NOTE: In case you're wondering, this story does NOT end with everything being a dream. Thank you to all reviewers! Keep them coming!
PART 6 - SARAH
The rest of the day was spent at home. Chuck watched cartoons with Sallie. But he didn't recognize any of them. When he asked her if she had ever seen Scooby Doo, she looked at him quizzically.
"Duck Tales?" he then asked.
She shook her head no.
"X-Men? Spider-Man?"
Another shake of the head.
He gave up and watched what she was watching. At one point in the day, Sarah spent quite a while on the phone and from the snatches of conversation that Chuck heard, he guessed that she was talking to somebody about him. It made him feel bad that he caused trouble for her.
Ellie and Devon came by for a visit and while they were there, Sarah announced that she needed to run an errand and would be back in a while. She didn't say where but Chuck once again guessed it had something to do with him. He also noticed that Sarah asked Ellie and Devon to keep an eye on him, not Sallie.
While Devon settled down on the couch to watch the cartoons with Sallie, Ellie motioned Chuck into the kitchen.
"So? Everything going OK?" she asked.
"I guess," he replied.
"You still can't remember anything?"
"Well, I've had some … flashes," he said using Sarah's word, "of memories here and there. But this is all so unreal to me."
"Why would this be unreal?" she asked looking puzzled. "Do you think Devon and I are not real?"
"No! It's just …."
"What? Tell me!" she urged.
He sighed. "If this is real, how in the world did I end up with a wife who looks like that?"
"Chuck, she fell in love with you because you're you!" Ellie replied.
He snorted. Ellie continued. "Chuck, you don't remember right now but I do. She really liked you from the start. I remember when I first met her and saw how she looked at you. And I also remember the times that she got pretty jealous."
"Jealous of what?" Chuck asked incredulously.
Ellie's eyes twinkled as she did an imitation of Sarah. "Brunettes! It's always brunettes!"
A memory suddenly popped up in his mind. He was seated at the dining room table at the apartment. Sarah sat beside him. Across the table were Ellie and Devon. They were all eating salad while Ellie talked. Chuck picked at his salad and tried to listen to Ellie, anything to avoid the contemptuous looks that Sarah kept giving him. Sarah was mad – really mad at him. But he wasn't sure why.
As she talked, Ellie kept looking from Chuck to Sarah, from Sarah to Chuck. She sighed.
"OK, Sarah, Chuck -- what's going on? What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" both said at the same time.
"Did you two have a fight?" Ellie persisted.
"We're fine!" they said in harmony.
Ellie, unconvinced, looked directly at Chuck from across the table. "Chuck, did something happen that upset you and Sarah?"
"I didn't do anything," he quickly replied.
"Hah!" Sarah muttered. And then she glared at Chuck and snapped: "Brunettes! It's always brunettes!"
"What?!!?" Chuck said.
Ellie stood up from the table and walked over to where Chuck and Sarah sat. She grabbed each by the arm and steered them to sit on the couch next to each other. "I invited the two of you over here for a nice dinner. A dinner which I'll add I went to great lengths and great trouble to make. You two are ruining everything. Talk to each other and settle this and then let's enjoy dinner. You two love each other too much to let a silly argument come between you."
Chuck started to protest about doing this but Ellie shot him a warning look. Then she walked back to the table and sat down next to Devon, who spoke. "I'd do what she says if I were you. The same thing happened to some friends of mine and she didn't let them leave until they settled things. You know how stubborn and persistent Ellie is!"
Chuck let out a long sigh. He did know how stubborn and persistent Ellie was. He turned to Sarah who was sitting very stiffly on the couch with her arms and legs crossed. "He's right," he said. Then he lowered his voice so that Ellie and Devon couldn't hear. "We're going to have to talk or pretend to talk about this if we don't want to sit on this couch all night."
Sarah waited a while before speaking. When she did, she also kept her voice low. "Would you like me better if I were a brunette?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Brunettes! It's always brunettes!"
"Repeat mode – what are you talking about?"
Sarah gritted her teeth. "Your girl friend in college was a brunette and you got back together with her. You once broke up with me to be with that brunette sandwich slicer, you tangoed with the brunette bimbo, you seemed to really enjoy having that brunette F.B.I. bodyguard with you on that one case, those last weeks you worked at the BuyMore you spent every second with that new brunette employee and today at the inter –." She stopped herself from saying 'intersect" just in time.
"And today at the office, when I came to pick you up for this dinner, I found you with that brunette draped all over you while you were supposedly WORKING. Why is it always brunettes?" Sarah finished.
"OK, I'm a little confused here. You know very well what happened with everyone of those brunettes. What's the big deal? I was with Jill way before I met you and when she came back into my life, you and I weren't together. I broke up with you to date the 'sandwich slicer' because there was no real relationship with you. The relationship with you was pretend, fake! I tangoed with that lady because it was part of the assignment. I didn't choose to have that F.B.I. agent guard me during that case, in fact, I didn't have a choice. I spent so much time with that new employee at the BuyMore during my last weeks there because she was my replacement and I had to train her. And the brunette at work – Cindy – is a co-worker, nothing more! The server was acting up and we were leaning in together through the hatch to fix it. It required four hands, the hatch was small, and we had to lean in close to one another in order to fix that."
"She's always doing things like that! Every time I visit you, she's always there and she's always touching you or leaning against you or something!" Sarah snapped.
An idea, a realization suddenly leaped forth in Chuck's mind about what might be going on here. But he couldn't believe it. It couldn't be, could it? But he said it out loud.
"Are you jealous?" Sarah jealous? No freaking way, he thought.
Sarah didn't say anything for a minute and stared straight ahead, not turning toward Chuck. She still kept her arms and legs crossed. "I just think that in order to maintain our cover as girl friend and BOY FRIEND, you should NOT be flirting with other women," she finally said.
"I was not flirting!" he fired back. And after a few seconds, he added, "And I thought we didn't need to have that cover at the 'office.' I'm right there in the headquarters building with a bunch of other agents. I spend all day there. So what's the point of that boy friend-girl friend cover?"
Sarah still stared straight ahead and didn't look at Chuck. He wasn't sure but he thought he saw her lip tremble a little. When she finally spoke, she spoke so softly that Chuck barely heard her.
"So you don't want me around any more?"
"I don't want a fake relationship. I told you my feelings several times and every time you pushed me away or your job got in the way. There was that time that I thought we were really getting close and that you might actually have feelings for me. But then Bryce warned me that your feelings for me could get you killed. So I backed off and ended it all to protect you."
Sarah's eyes flashed with anger as she turned toward Chuck. "And you thought it was a good idea to listen to HIM? He didn't seem so concerned about my feelings for him putting me in danger when I was with him. And I do NOT want Bryce dictating to you or me about our feelings or our relationship. I also think whenever ANYONE gives you advice about us, you should discuss it with me before making any STUPID or RASH decisions. Do you know how hurt I was when you broke up with me that time? I had no idea you were thinking that you were protecting me or trying to keep me from getting hurt. I thought that you had stopped liking … loving me. It really hurt me, it hurt me so much when you did that!"
"And how do you think I felt? I didn't want to do that but I didn't want to get you killed! I've always wanted a relationship with you – a REAL relationship. But you …." Chuck stopped and shook his head.
She looked down at the floor. Then she uncrossed her arms. After a moment, she placed one hand on his shoulder and looked directly into his eyes. "What if I wanted that too?" she asked.
Chuck was stunned. What was she saying? He thought. Then he said out loud "Are you serious?"
Sarah lunged at him and pushed him down on the couch and kissed him intensely. They were kissing, groping, and moaning when Ellie interrupted them.
"HEY!" she yelled. Sarah leaned up from the couch where she had Chuck pinned down on his back and several buttons of his shirt undone. They were both panting.
Ellie looked like she didn't know what to say but finally asked meekly "Do you two want to eat now or later?"
"Later!" Sarah said huskily. And with that, she stood up from the couch, pulled Chuck up with her. And then she grabbed him with both of her hands and marched him toward his room. A grin broke out on Chuck's face as he heard Devon say to Ellie "Don't worry babe, the food won't go to waste. They'll want to eat after!"
Where the heck did that come from? Chuck wondered as that memory ended and he found himself back in the kitchen with Ellie.
"Chuck, you looked like you were far, far away. What happened?" Ellie asked.
"I guess a memory popped up. At least I guess it's a memory. Or maybe it's a fantasy," he said.
"What was it?"
He told her, at least a water-downed version. But when Ellie was able to fill in details that he left out, he realized it was indeed a real memory.
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Sarah returned and they all had dinner together. They sat in the living room afterwards, talking. Later in the evening, it was time for Sallie to go to bed. They took care of that and returned to the living room and talked more with Ellie and Devon.
As the evening went on, Chuck could feel Sarah leaning heavily against him as they sat on the couch. He turned toward her and she slumped down. He grabbed her and then lowered her head down to his lap.
"Sorry! She's exhausted," Chuck said to Ellie and Devon who looked a little concerned.
Ellie nodded. "She was so worried and frantic about you after your accident. She practically spent every night at the hospital in your room while you were in that coma. I'll bet she hasn't gotten much sleep lately." Then she turned to Devon. "Let's go and let her get some rest." They said their good nights and left.
Chuck stared down at the sleeping Sarah who was curled up on the couch next to him with her head in his lap. She needed to get to bed, he decided. He started to move her but Sarah groaned a soft "No!" and clung tightly to him.
"Sarah! Come on! Let's get you to bed. You're exhausted and you need to get to sleep," he said as he stood up and picked her up with him.
She clung to him as he walked her out of the living room and down the hallway to their bedroom. Once there, he put her gently onto the bed. She curled there and Chuck wondered what to do next.
Well, I can at least remove her shoes, he thought and did that.
There was still the matter of her clothes. He sat down beside her on the bed pondering whether or not to remove her pants and blouse. They were married, he thought, but should he do this? As if reading his thoughts, her hand reached up and gripped his arm.
"It's OK! Get my nightgown out of that drawer and help me get undressed and ready for bed," she said.
He reached over to the drawer and pulled out the nightgown that was on top. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up into a sitting position. Then she grasped both of his hands and directed them to the top button on her blouse.
Chuck hesitated but finally undid the buttons and removed her blouse. He started to put the nightgown on over her but she stopped him by putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in close and kissing him. Then her lips traveled along his cheek and up to his left ear, which she kissed and nibbled. "My bra," she said huskily as she continued her lip attack on his ear.
He had a lot of trouble concentrating on what to do as her lips felt incredible and were so distracting. He finally moved his hands around and onto her back, feeling her skin as his hands went to the bra snaps. Her skin felt incredible, he thought. Sarah sighed as his hands rubbed along her back and eventually came to the snaps of the bra. He undid them.
Her lips departed from his ear, she unclasped her hands from around his neck and leaned back to let him pull off her bra. He quickly grabbed the nightgown and pulled it through her raised arms and put it on her. After which she wrapped her arms around his neck again and kissed him. She kissed him several times and then traveled to his right ear and started another lip assault.
"Pants," Sarah commanded and she lay back down on the bed and propped up her legs. He undid the button, the zipper and pulled her pants off. Then she reached up and pulled him down for another kiss.
"Tuck me in," she said softly.
He pulled the covers down and helped her under them. And every step of the way, she took every opportunity to touch and kiss him some more. She snuggled into the bed as he sat beside her.
"Thank you!" she whispered. "Come to bed."
"I will," Chuck replied. As soon as it gets cooler in here, he thought.
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He had the dream again. And this time, things weren't so far away. He could see what was happening. It was in some sort of office. Computers and all kinds of equipment were on desks and on shelves. There was smoke and he heard gunfire and yelling and explosions. And he saw himself at a computer terminal and a man running up to him. The man had a gun and he screamed "BARTOWSKI!"
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"CHUCK!"
Sarah's voice woke him up. It was still night and he was in bed with her. She was leaning over him, gripping his shoulders, looking very worried.
"Chuck!" she said again. "What happened? Did you have a nightmare?"
He shook his head trying to clear it, trying to figure out what he had just seen. It felt important but he couldn't remember why.
"Chuck?" Sarah asked again.
"I keep having this dream or nightmare. I've been having it ever since …." He paused, trying to remember when it started.
Sarah leaned down beside him, reached over with her hand and stroked his hair and face. "Just tell me what you remember," she asked.
He told her about the dream and when he finished, she kept quiet for a moment and continued stroking his hair and face. "I think it's time to tell you everything," she said.
Sarah went back to the beginning, telling him how he had gotten the intersect into his head back in 2007 from an email and how she, a CIA agent, had come to Los Angeles to track it down. Then she told him how she had been assigned to protect him, and how he, with the intersect in his head, helped her and John Casey of the NSA. She explained how the CIA and NSA had tried several times to rebuild the intersect and failed every time, and how after so many failures, they finally decided to put Chuck in charge of rebuilding it. He had succeeded and that became his full-time job. He maintained the intersect with his staff and still did.
She also told him that when she had been assigned to protect him, her cover for that was to pretend to be his girl friend. But as time went on, the cover had become real. They developed feelings for each other and that blossomed into love and eventually marriage.
It all seemed so crazy to Chuck but Sarah never laughed.
"So what happened? What's going on now?" Chuck asked.
"The intersect, the one that you built is gone. The office, the building where it was kept, where you and your staff worked on it and kept it going, was attacked. There was a battle and after it was all over, the intersect was gone. There was nothing on the servers or computers. We don't know what happened to it. We don't know if they got to it, downloaded it and took it or if you have it or hid it somewhere," she said.
Chuck didn't know either.
Sarah then moved closer to him, put her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "Are you still a spy? Do you still protect me?"
"No," she replied. "After we married, I transferred to a different section of the CIA. I do different, safer work now. It has more regular hours but it's not as exciting."
"So you miss being a super spy?"
She looked up at him and smiled. "Sometimes I miss it but not often. I think back to the excitement of that life and then I look at you and I look at our daughter and I know that I made the right decision."
She lay her head back on his chest and they went back to sleep that way.
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When Chuck woke up that morning, something didn't seem right. He glanced at Sarah and she seemed … well, he thought, something was wrong. He shook her shoulder but she groaned and huddled more under the sheets.
"Sarah? Are you OK?" he asked.
She seemed to struggle to get up or answer and unable to generate the strength to do either. Chuck gripped her arms and pulled her up to a sitting position. She groaned and slumped against him. He felt her forehead.
"You're burning up," he said. He looked closely at her. She was definitely ill. He needed to get her to a doctor but he didn't know who their doctor was or how to get there. "Sarah, I'm going to call Ellie and get her over here to check on you," he said. Sarah managed to nod in agreement as Chuck gently lowered her back down on the bed.
Chuck grabbed the phone but stopped. He didn't know Ellie's number. Speed dial, he thought. He started at 1 and kept going until the readout said "Ellie/Devon."
"Hi Sarah!" Ellie answered after the third ring.
"Ellie, it's Chuck."
Ellie's tone turned to concern. "Is something wrong?"
"Sarah's sick. She's burning up. I … I don't know who our doctor is or where to take her –" Chuck replied, trying to control the panic he felt as he looked down at Sarah.
"Chuck, stay calm. Devon and I will be there in 15 minutes. We're on the way." She hung up.
He gripped Sarah's face with both hands. Her eyes opened. She looked weak. "Ellie and Devon are on the way! It will be OK! Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?" he asked.
"Sallie! Make sure Sallie's OK," she replied weakly.
He had been so concerned about Sarah that he had forgotten about their daughter. He rushed to Sallie's room. She was awake and playing with some toys on the floor. She looked up at Chuck.
"Hi daddy!" she said brightly. "Want to play with me?"
"I can't right now Sallie. Mommy isn't feeling too well, so I need to keep an eye on her. Are you feeling OK? Do you feel bad or anything?"
She shook her head.
"OK, just go ahead and keep playing right now. I need to keep an eye on mommy. OK?"
"OK," she said and resumed her playing.
Chuck rushed back to their bedroom and sat down on the bed beside Sarah. He grabbed her hand and held it.
Suddenly, the room changed into the back of an EMS unit that sped along the streets with siren wailing. He was in there holding Sarah's hand as she lay on a stretcher with a bloody face and an IV in her. A paramedic was checking a bloody spot on one arm.
"Hold on Sarah! Hold on! We're almost there! Hold on!" Chuck said.
Her eyes opened and they moved back and forth, searching. "Chuck?" she said.
"Right here! Right here!" he said and moved his head above her face so that she could see him.
She coughed and then looked at him. "Don't leave me! Stay with me! Please don't leave me!" she begged.
"You DON'T leave me! You STAY with me!" he commanded. "You're going to be OK! You hear me! You're going to be OK!"
The image blurred and then he was back in their bedroom holding Sarah's hand. He felt himself trembling at the thought of Sarah in danger or suffering.
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Devon and Ellie got there in less than 15 minutes. Ellie immediately went into the bedroom to check on Sarah while Chuck waited frantically. Devon stayed in Sallie's room, keeping an eye on her.
About 10 minutes later, Ellie talked to Chuck. "It's OK!" she assured him. "There's a bug going around and Sarah has it. It usually lasts about a day. So she will probably be fine tomorrow. Most likely, she'll sleep for most of today. Just take care of her, try to get her to eat and drink if she wants." She stopped and looked at him closely. "Are you OK?"
He had been really worried, he realized, when he had seen Sarah so sick. It had affected him. And that image that he saw of Sarah injuried in an EMS. That had scared him, really scared him.
"I just panicked, got so worried when I saw her ill and then I realized that I didn't know the doctor or her or her medical history or whatever. She needed me and I was helpless. What if I had taken her to a doctor or clinic and they gave her a penicillin shot and I didn't know if she was allergic to penicillin. I could have made things worse or …." He looked down and saw that his hands were shaking.
Ellie grasped his hands. "Chuck! It's OK! She will be fine. It's just a 24-hour bug."
"I know," he rambled, "I just got so worried and frantic about her, I felt so scared. I don't know why I got so scared!" He shook his head trying to make things clearer.
Ellie looked directly at him and smiled. "It's called being in love, Chuck!"
"Why can't I remember my wife, the woman I love, the woman who loves me? Why can't I remember our daughter? Why did I have to lose that memory? Why couldn't I have lost the memory of what happened at Stanford or working at the BuyMore instead? Why? Why did I have to lose the memory of my wife and daughter?" All of it was gushing out of Chuck like a tidal wave. He found it hard to stop and he could feel himself trembling.
"Chuck! Chuck! CHUCK!" Ellie's voice finally penetrated to him and he stopped. Ellie held his face with both of her hands and looked directly at him.
"This memory problem is only temporary. You will regain your memories. You haven't lost them. They are just buried. Remember the other night? You remembered that time Sarah got jealous! Your memories of her, your daughter, everything will come back! You love her and you love your daughter! Love like that doesn't disappear!"
Ellie hugged Chuck and he was finally able to stop trembling.
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Sarah slept almost all day and through the evening. Ellie and Devon stayed and helped out. They left after Sallie went to bed. Chuck checked on Sarah. She was still sleeping. He had spent most of the day sitting on the side of the bed and watching her and holding her hand and stroking her hair.
A few times, she opened her eyes, saw him and smiled. Once she tried to get out of bed on her own and promptly collapsed back down on the bed. He helped her sit up but a few minutes later, she was asleep and he put her back down.
He got ready for bed and then climbed in. Ellie had cautioned him that the bug could spread to him and/or Sallie. But right now, he didn't care. He wanted to be near her.
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Later, in the early morning hours, she woke up. She seemed to be in a panic or scared or something.
"Chuck?" she moaned and tried to rise out of the bed. He reached out and gripped her. "Right here! It's OK! It's OK!" he said.
He pulled Sarah against him and put his arms around her. She rolled over and buried her head against his chest. Chuck stroked her shoulders, head and hair. "Feeling any better?" he asked in a whisper.
Sarah groaned in response.
"Well, hang in there. Hopefully, it will run its course and be over by morning." He stroked the top and back of her head gently and then asked if she needed or wanted anything.
"Just you," she said, "don't go."
"I won't," he promised and he pulled her closer to him.
They fell asleep that way.
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Sarah was up and active by the time Chuck rose from bed in the morning. He could smell some wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen. He went and found Sallie sitting at the dining room table drinking juice and Sarah cooking.
"Good morning!" she said brightly upon seeing Chuck.
"Hi daddy!" Sallie yelled.
"Hi Sallie!" Chuck answered and he leaned down and gave his daughter a hug. She responded happily and kissed him on the cheek. He rose and found Sarah had moved alongside of him.
"Now me!" she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him in for a long and loving kiss. She leaned her head against his chest. Chuck put his arms around her. She looked well. He felt relieved.
"You're certainly looking better. I'm glad," he said.
She looked up at him. "Thank you!"
"For what?" he asked.
"For taking care of me, taking care of everything while I was sick yesterday."
"Well, I think you better thank Ellie and Devon for that. They helped a lot."
"But it was you who sat by me on the bed during the day and held my hand. It was you who held me during the night and made me feel loved. And it was you who checked on me and made sure that I had what I needed or wanted." She kissed him again. "Sallie wanted cereal this morning but we're out. So I'm making waffles and sausage."
"So that's what smells so good," Chuck said with a glance toward the stove.
"Yes! Have a seat. They're almost ready. And after breakfast, we had better go to the grocery store. We're not only out of Sallie's favorite cereal but other things as well."
END PART 6