(AN Welcome to chapter 6 as always I don't own Family Guy or the OCs. So enjoy.
Chapter 6 Secrets Revealed
The next day the group were preparing to head to Texas via a private jet belonging to Carter. The jet was currently flying over the clouds as Stewie sat in one seat talking to Dave.
"You know Point Dexter I really can't believe you married two complete psychopaths." The young infant stated in a shocked voice.
"Well Stewie these things just happen I suppose." Dave said aloud. "Although I'll tell you somthing I think the Quahog Police are so dumb. I mean if it hadn't been for me Lois and the rest of your family then Helen would've gotten away with you and you more than likely would've wound up dead."
Stewie couldn't help but laugh.
"You know Point Dexter I've always found it weird how similar these events are." Stewie remarked.
"That's funny. Dave replied. Anyway I also remember being married to this woman called Bonnie who accidentally and unknowingly kidnapped you. Stewie then replied with. I remember that incident it happened right after my first birthday. and if I recall you two divorced because she felt so guilty."
Dave nodded in agreement.
"Yeah although I'm Suprised Helen still holds a grudge it was a few months ago."
"Yeah it's worse than the time Peter made the house explode." Stewie commented.
Cutaway Gag
Lois was standing outside the bathroom door waiting for Peter to come out.
"Come on Peter it's been fifteen minutes." Lois shouted out in a stern voice.
"In a minute honey." Peter's strained and distressed voice came through the bathroom door.
Suddenly Peter let out a huge fart and the house exploded.
End Cutaway Gag
Peter was currently sitting down and eating a Pop Tart.
"Oh boy this is good." Peter stated. "You know I can't believe I was stupid enough to go on a Pac-Man machine and leave Stewie alone twice."
"Well I can." Lois replied in a teasing voice. "Peter you've never exactly been the smartest person in the world but this is just ridicules and it was the same Pac-Man machine."
Peter then threw his arms out.
"I know, I know." Peter yelled out. "Oh man I promise I'll never do anything stupid again from now on I'm going to be a smart and reliable dad."
Brian nearly spewed his martini.
"Peter that will never happen no matter how hard you try you'll never be a perfect dad." Brian yelled out while laughing
Peter just sighed in defeat.
"Well you've got me there." Peter said.
Peter then began to think of all the rather stupid things he'd done over the years from giving Stewie steroids because he didn't realise what they were to building a PeterCopter and ruining Joe's garden with it and he doubted anyone would forget the time he became a pirate.
The plane then touched down at the Texas airport and the group got out.
"You know this is the third time we've visited Texas." Meg was saying to Connie and Neil.
"Oh really." Connie replied while trying to sound intarested. "What happened the other two times you were there."
"Well the first time we were here was when we were under witness protection and were hiding from a shoplifter who wannted to kill me." Chris explained "And then we had to hide here because a whole bunch of people were convinced that Stewie was possessed by Satan because he vomited after drinking holy water."
"Well now that we're here what do we do?" Neil questioned.
"Well now we just need to find Helen and take her down." Lois replied
"Hay wait a minute where's Bertram?" Peter questioned noticing the young infant's abscence.
Bertram was hiding behind some bins and talking into a communicator.
"They're here where you wannted them to be." Bertram said into the communicator.
"Excelent now we just need to wait until they find her and then we'll snap the trap shut." A distorted voice with a thick Texan accent replied.
"Precisly." Bertram replied. "But remember our deal no killing Stewie he's mine to kill."
"Oh don't worry." The voice replied. "I won't hurt a hair on that little rats head but he just angers me so much."
"May I ask why." Bertram stated.
"No." The voice yelled out. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."
The device then shut itself off as Bertram wandered out to the group.
"Oh there you are." Stewie said in a mock hurt voice. "Come on we need to get going."
"So do you know where Helen is?" Bertram questioned.
"Yes." Stewie answered. "According to a local news report the big fat stupid bitch has been sighted staying at a Hotel that's not far from here."
"Stewie." Dave barked out. "I've told you not to call my ex wife a bitch."
"Oh really." Stewie teased.
He then threw out his arms.
"Wellllllllll." Stewie yelled out
Lois quickly picked Stewie up and put a dummy in his mouth.
"Now, now Stewie we shouldn't swear at people like that." Lois scolded.
The young infant just gave Lois an annoyed face before falling asleep.
The group quickly found the Hotel which was just two miles away from the Airport.
"Right now all we need is a way of getting Helen's attention." Meg explained.
Stewie suddenly got an evil grin on his face as he jumped down from Lois's arms.
"Hay Dave." Stewie said.
Dave sighed in annoyance.
"What?" He asked in an annoyed voice.
"You know Dave we wouldn't have been here if Helen hadn't forced us into this." Stewie answered
"Shut up Stewie." Dave retorted.
"She's the one who started this whole damn thing." Stewie said. "And it's all because she's a big fat stupid bitc."
"Don't say it Stewie." Dave yelled out.
The young infant then threw his arms out.
"Wellllllllll." The young infant yelled out.
"Don't do it Stewie." Dave simply said in a threatning voice.
"Wellllllllll." Stewie replied.
"I'm warning you." Dave retorted.
"Ok, ok." Stewie answered in a defeated tone before walking away.
"I'm getting pretty sick and tierd of him calling Helen a." Dave cried out in irritation
But before Dave could finish Stewie jumped back towards him and burst into song.
(AN Song being parodied is Kyle's Mum is a big fat bitch from South Park Bigger Longer And Uncut.)
Wellllllllll
Helen Parks is a bitch
She's a big fat witch
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid bitch
If there ever was a bitch
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls
Dave: Shut your stupid mouth Stewie.
Stewie: On Monday she's a bitch
On Tuseday she's a bitch
On Wednesday to Saturday
She's a bitch
Then on Sunday just to be differant
She's a super King kamiya miya Byatch
Stewie: Come on you all know the words
Everyone: Hay have you ever met my ex captor Helen Parks
She,s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old bitch
And she has stupid hair
She,s a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Stewie: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
She's just a stupid bitch
Helen Parks is a bitch
And she's just a dirty bitch whoo
Stewie: Talk to kids around the world
And it might go a little bit somthing like this
Everyone then began singing the last part in differant languages. After that they went back to singing in English
Stewie: have you met my ex captor Helen Parks
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old bitch
And she has stupid hair
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Just as Stewie sang the last part of the song Helen appeared right behind him with an angry look on her face which caused everyone else to gasp in horror and stop singing however the young infant didn't notice any of this.
Stewie: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
She's just a stupid bitch ( Brian: uh Stewie)
Helen Parks is a bitch
And she's just a dirty bitch
I really mean it Helen Parks
Stewie then began marching up and down
She's A GREAT BIG STUPID BITCH
GREAT OLD FAT STUPID BITCH HELEN PARKS.
Stewie then noticed that everyone had shocked looks on their faces.
"What?" He asked.
The young infant then turned around to see the crazed woman right behind him.
"Ah crap." Stewie bluntly said.
(AN well that was Chapter 6 and don't worry the next Chapters are going to be longer. Also we'll soon figure out who that mysterious voice belongs to. So goodbye for now. PS I've finnaly decided to just place this story between season 7 and 8 and the first story after 420 and to explain Donna's appearance she's visiting.