CHAPTER 6: I DISCOVER MY FLIRT-O-PHOBIA.

I stand outside the least crowded bookstore, a little out of breath. I turn around and very carefully scan the streets for a 'curious' old bastard. I find none. I sigh in relief. That man has something seriously wrong with his head. I shake my head in an effort to forget that incident. It doesn't work.

With a scarred face and a scarred mind I enter the store. The store is completely filled with strange books with a coating of dust on them. These magicals don't seem very bothered with sanitation, it seems.

I inquire from the clerk if he has the magical constitution. The clerk, a teenage boy with a gaunt face, looks at me as if I've grown two heads but nods all the same. A great man once said 'To know a culture, one must know its laws and history'. I follow the advice and grab all the books on the history of the wizarding world and its constitution.

There were quite a lot of history books, I must say. And most had a cover image of Goblins being brutally murdered. Magical folks are quite fascinated with murdering them, it seems. No wonder the goblins at Gringotts were so cranky.

A book catches my eye, 'The art of dueling by Galatea Merrythought '. It was HUGE, about a foot in length . I don't particularly like reading books outside curriculum but … Meh! This looks too useful to be left out. I grab the heavy book and put it in the trolley.

After checking that I have everything from the list in the magical trunk( which McGonagall had made me buy in the beginning). I enter the café shop to see an impatient looking McGonagall.

"Mr. Potter. Have you bought all your school supplies? "

"Yes Professor"

"Professor, might I enquire as to why the shopkeeper at the wand store seems interested in the tongues of pubescents?" I ask before I could stop myself.

McGonagall seems perplexed but a look of dawning realization crosses her features a moment later. She sighs in exasperation.

" I apologize for Mr. Ollivander's crass behavior, Mr. Potter. He wrongly believes that you can know the character of a person by their tongue. The wand chooses the wizard so Mr. Ollivander thinks that knowing the character of a person will be beneficial in finding them a wand. "

"…"

I seriously reconsider my decision about entering the Wizarding world.

McGonagall clears her throat. She does that a lot. Does she have a cold?

"Mr. Potter, your reaction to apparition was very " She tries to hide her amused smile "extreme. I believe that apparating once more could make you sick again. Thus, it would be best if we board the knight bus."

What the hell is this knight bus now? Why such a dramatic name? Does it have batman as the driver? Well, in the case of wizards, the impossible does seem possible.

McGonagall takes me out from the magical world via the Leaky Cauldron. She waves her wand. Nothing happens. I look at McGonagall, she doesn't seem concerned. So I wait. After a few moments, a triple-decker purple bus arrives, barely keeping from crushing us.

The gate opens, revealing a middle aged, heavily built man. He seems to recognize McGonagall at once.

"Oh, Minerva. After so many days. Come on! hop in. We have a lot of catching up to do " He says, a little awkwardly.

I turn around, expecting to see an irate McGonagall, indignant about the use of her name in such a relaxed manner. Instead I see …is that a red tint on her cheeks? Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

"I am well, Rupert. How goes your" McGonagall puts a finger on her chin in mock consideration. "20th job."

Rupert laughs heartily. "Quite well, I suppose. Though I only have a one year contract with the knight bus. So I'll have to find my 21st job soon.

"Some things never change, do they?" McGonagall adds wistfully.

They both ignore me and board the bus. I just stand there, gaping like a fish. I thought I knew how to recognize people. I was sure McGonagall was a stuck up woman with a rod firmly lodged up her ass. She was a tsundere for God's sake. How did…how come. Nuhuh. I don't want to know.

After a minute, this Rupert guy sticks his head out from the door.

" Ya comin' brat? "

Did he call me a brat? How dare he?

"Yes sir " I reply with a perfectly polite smile. He does know my Professor. Too well, if you ask me.

After a really uncomfortable ride where my innocent, innocent mind was introduced to the thrice accursed art of flirting, we reach 4th Privet Drive. McGonagall had come to the Dursley household with me to threaten them into 'accepting me'. Although I did notice that the Knight bus did not leave.

I didn't have the energy to deal with the Dursleys now. I run off to my room and collapse on my bed.

I dream of a 'curious' old man flirting with a dragon. He then pulls out a vial from his mouth where his tongue should be and stores the dragon in it. Don't ask me how.

I wake up with a start. I check the time, its 7 pm. I think about sleeping again, my stomach rumbles in protest. I am feeling very hungry but I don't really want to talk to the Dursleys now. Well, a visit to one of my 'friends' is in order, I suppose.

I very quietly slip out from the house. This was a skill I had honed to full perfection years ago.

I think about who I could visit. After all, what are friends for, if not free food. I just can't stand Brad now, he is way too restless. Visiting Amy is out of the question. She must be with Dudley now. That's not because they're friends or anything. Well they're not friends according to Amy but dear old Dudders is in love with her. I did what any good cousin would do, I exploit his 'love' for Amy.

You see, I had convinced Amy that Dudley was a drama enthusiast and has taken up pretending to be in love with her as a project. The foolish girl was gullible enough to believe me , she's been stringing him along ever since.

I know, I'm being a jerk. But Dudley doesn't bully anyone anymore, has practically become my slave, prevents Petunia from making me do all the chores and throws a tantrum when Vernon raises his hand(or belt) on me. All I had to do was become a wingman (a fake one, at that), the best job in the world, if you ask me.

Now before you judge me, do keep in mind that Dudley had beaten Wayne half to death when we were 7 and all he got was a 'scolding' in turn. These types of occurrences were normal back then, now Dudley himself prevents bullying. He was a rabid dog before, now he's my dog.

I told you, didn't I? Innocence was something I lost way back.

I finally decide on visiting Thomas. The reason being, his mother cooks really great food.I ring the bell, A slightly overweight woman opens the door.

"Ah Harry. Good evening. come in. You are just in time for supper "

"Good evening to you too Mrs. Ashford" I smile brightly. "I thank you for your hospitality, Mrs. Ashford. But I'm afraid, I have come only to help Thomas with his assignment. "

"Nonsense" Mrs. Ashford chides. "Look at you, looking all skinny. First you boys have supper and then you do your homework"

Mission accomplished. "Thank you Mrs. Ashford, you're too kind. "

After having a truly delicious meal, Thomas and I finish his non-existent assignment. I think about sleeping here, but decide against it. When a guest starts over-imposing himself on the host, he stops being a guest and starts being a nuisance. And I don't want to be a nuisance. I want to eat a lot more food by Mrs. Ashford.

I leave the Ashford residence with a full tummy and a recharged brain. I very quietly sneak in my hell of a house to see two murderous looking Dursleys sitting in the common room, with my magical trunk between their legs.

AN: An important note for you, dear readers. I have given you a taste of Harry's manipulative side in this chapter. Imagine a lonely, hated and abused child. Now, give him powers which makes him different from others. I'm no psychologist but even I can say that the result won't be pretty. Harry uses his politeness as a tool for people to like him. He craves attention, though he'll never admit it. He sees himself above everyone and everything else. He has also witnessed the sheep mentality of people. Thus he fashions himself as their shepherd. So heed my warning dear readers, this is a dark or a grey Harry fic. I have not decided upon it yet. Do not expect a gallant Harry in shining armor please, he's too cynical for that.

Thank you.