Emma finally made her way into the ravine that night much later than she had originally intended. Snake had been extra brutal with her tonight as her punishment for skipping class and Emma had to take a scalding hot bath to soothe her sore muscles. She didn't mean to spend as long in the tub as she did, but as she was sitting there scrubbing her skin practically raw she noticed her razor sitting by the soap dish. Before Emma even realized what she was doing, she had the razor pulled apart and the sharp blade freed from it's protective plastic casing.
She pulled her right leg up high and rested it on the dripping faucet. It was something Emma had never tried before, but she was so damn sick of feeling numb. It was becoming easier and easier to block out any physical pain she felt and the emotional pain she had been blocking out for years now. She was just curious as to whether or not she could even feel anything anymore. At least that's what she told herself and she dragged the razor across the tender skin on her upper thigh and watched as a thin streak of blood oozed out.
Nope, she hadn't felt it. So Emma decided to cut another line next to the one she already made, but this time she pushed the blade deeper. She heard the sharp intake of her breath as the blade dug deeper into her skin and saw the blood drip into the bath water, but she hadn't felt more than a tiny sting.
The one thing she did feel, though? Relief. It was the first time in ages Emma had felt as if she had control over something in her life! So she did it again and again until she had small cuts all over her right upper thigh. Some were deep, some were shallow. By now, her bath water was turned a dingy brownish red and Emma realized how carried away she had gotten. If her mom had walked in she would be toast...and Snake would be livid! He would punish her worse than ever before.
As numb as she felt, Emma knew she didn't want that! So she forced herself to get out of the tub and immediately drain it. She used all of her cotton pads she usually used for makeup to soak up the blood on her thigh and half a roll of toilet paper while she was at it. Emma cleaned her cuts with alcohol and applied neosporin to the wounds so they would heal faster before putting bandages over top. She threw all the evidence away and wiped down her tub so that not even a trace of blood residue was seen. She then put on the outfit she had picked out for that evening even though pulling on her skinny jeans over her new bandages proved difficult.
She threw on a tank top that left little to the imagination and a hooded sweatshirt overtop and slipped on her sneakers. Emma checked her reflection in the mirror on more time before she grabbed the bathroom trash and headed for the window. She always snuck out her bedroom window at night and her parents never noticed. She left it open as she usually did for a quick return and headed out into the night. She deposited the trashed in a neighbor's bin a few blocks away. Better to be safe than sorry and hide all the evidence, right?
Emma hummed to herself as she looked for her friends.