Disclaimer: Yeah, I know, this is getting old, but hey I like thinking of new stuff to put here. Maybe I'll stop next chapter... Oh, right, I don't own Evangelion.
Chapter 6: Again, and again, and again...
This time, Tom had the hang of walking pretty much as soon as he manged to get himself upright. While he celebrated this minor achievement, however, he let himself get snuck upon again, and soon heard a familiar voice behind him: "What are you doing in my city, you yankee filth?"
"For fuck's sake, Taichi, I'm English. Next time, can you just call me a whatever-the-hell-word-you-used bastard instead of a yankee? It's a little offensive to be compared to those idiots. Right, since you're hopefully confused and overwhelmed by me knowing your name, I'll just -"
BANG
Beep. Beep. Beeeeep.
"Right, so that fucker doesn't get confused when I know his name. Good to know. I wonder if I'll actually get out of this city at some point..." While it may seem to the casual observer that Tom was becoming blasé about dying at long last (and about three hundred and thirty five deaths too late,) he wasn't. Dying still hurt the three hundreth time, after all, and given the lengths normal people go to in order to spare themselves even minor pain the fact that Tom was trying to avoid the pain of death shouldn't really surprise anyone. And for the observer getting annoyed at the fact he's been trapped in the same city for two deaths now, he'll escape sooner or later. While he was musing this, an all-to-familiar figure was creeping up on him from behind. Before the figure could say anything, though, Tom suddenly spun around.
"Okay, okay, you got me. Now, if you'll just come a few steps closer, I'll tell you who I'm working for and their secret plan to kill you and your dog. If you have a dog, that is. They never actually said anything about a dog or lack thereof. It's just a figure of speech pleasedon'tshootmethistime!"
Fortunately for Tom, Taichi decided to actually follow his advice and took a few steps forward until they were in arms reach of each other. Unfortunately for Tom, his attempt to grab Taichi's gun didn't exactly work out.
BANG
Beep. Beep. Beeeep.
"I'm beginning to hate the fucker who thought that the Halo respawining noise was in any way appropriate to put here..."
After a few dozen more failed tries, Tom eventually got the gun off of Taichi, and had him lead Tom out of the city. As per usual, something went wrong. This time, it was a sniper's bullet going ventilating Tom's skull that set him back a little.
Beep. Beep. Beeeep.
"Alright, you honourless dog, I'll do as you ask. Follow me, you worthless gaijin." That came as a bit of a surprise to Tom; rather than starting flat on his face in the middle of a glass-filled stree, he now started with a gun in his hand in the middle of the same glass-filled street. 'Progess, of a sort,' he mused to himself, 'but I want to get the fuck out of here now. Hey, I finally managed to stop saying stuff out loud. More progress.' This time, when they got near the area which the sniper had been hanging out before, Tom tried to make Taichi take a different road. This prompted the aforementioned bandit to rush Tom to take the gun, and Tom pulled the trigger.
Nothing happened.
"What the flying -" Tom started shouting another stream of curses that would be physically dangerous to repeat here "-with a rusty barge pole won't this thing fire?!" By this point, Taichi had managed to wrestle the gun away from Tom, but hesitated for a second:
"You were holding it wrong, you idiot. There's a safety on the back of the grip, you tried to fire it without pushing down that safety." Taichi quickly showed Tom the back of the gun, and sure enough there was a safety lever on the grip.
"Who the fuck would design something like that? You know what, fuck this, next time I'm just shooting you straight off and finding my own damned way out."
BANG
Beep. Beep. Beeeep.
True to his word, this time around Tom just shot Taichi instead of asking him to lead him out. Fortunately for Taichi, Tom wasn't a particularly good shot, so it missed most of his vital areas. Unfortunately for Taichi, it hit him in the groin area instead.
"Hahaha, that's schadenfreude for you, fuckface! That's for all the times you've shot me, or lead me into a trap!"
After a few hours of traipsing through the city, getting lost, avoiding the one street that he knew contained a sniper and almost running into more bandits once or twice, Tom finally managed to get to the edge. As if to mark his achievement, the words "Checkpoint reached... saving..." appeared in the corner of his vision. He punched the air in delight, and shouted into the sky: "I'm free! You assholes tried to keep me down, but I got out! I am FREE!"
Over on the horizon, a faint outline of a helicopter appeared, heading straight towards Tom. 'I'll let this get close this time around,' he decided 'see if they want to give me a lift.' As it approached, he could just make out some of the letters and logos emblazoned on the nose. The letters UN and the associated logo gave him a little hope, but the unfamiliar symbol that looked like some sort of upside-down triangle with curly bits sticking out of it accomapanied by the acronym - 'or is it some word or other?' he thought to himself - SEELE made him pause. He pressed what he assumed to be the magazine release on his gun - luckily it was - and put gun and magazine in seperate pockets, to make himself seem less of a threat. 'I haven't gotten all this way just to be taken down by some drugged-up soldiers who think I'm about to blow them up or something' he thought as the helicopter started landing in front of him.
He wasn't prepared to be rushed, have his gun taken from him and knocked unconcious.
He woke up what seemed like several hours later, on board the now-airbourne helicopter. He was about to try to bite the soldier next to him, as his arms were handcuffed to his seat and he wanted off the helicopter, when the words "Checkpoint reached... saving..." appeared once more. He had just enough time to start yet another stream of swearing before the soldier he was going to bite noticed he was awake and knocked him unconcious again.
AUTHOR'S NOTE(S)
Dun! Dun! DUUUN! However shall our hero (yeah, right) escape from this conundrum? Tune in next time to find out! Same Bat time, same Bat channel!
On a slightly more serious note, I hope you enjoyed this, if you have anything to say ("You suck", "stop writing", "I want ice cream") you can leave a review or something. I don't really care either way, but it'd probably stroke my ego and he always wants stroking.
Later, shitlords.