I know I said I wouldn't be writing until finals were over, but I had a bad day. It's almost one o'clock and I've decided to stay up for no reason. Hope you like this chapter! I'm hitting a major roadblock in this story. I can't decide what I want to happen when. Meh. I'm gonna keep writing this until I finish! Not in one sitting of course.
The next day, Howard woke up with Raj's arms around him. It was perfect. He snuggled closer to Raj, never wanting to leave. It was a wonderful feeling, the heat of Raj's body warming him. Each breath Raj took danced across Howard's shoulder. As the world spun around and around, Howard felt still. He was safe here. Here, no one would call him freak. No one would try to analyze him. Most importantly, Raj was here. It didn't matter what they were, be it friends or boyfriends. At that moment, they were together. The three of them.
Howard was struck by his last thought. It wasn't just the two of them anymore and he had to face that. Ignoring the problem wouldn't change anything. He was still going to have this baby. But was it really a problem? Was Melonie right? It was hard for Howard to imagine the situation as a blessing. He was still sick. He couldn't drink. Suddenly, Italian food had become utterly revolting. He'd put on weight. It was like having the flu all the time. But, it wasn't the physical changes that scared Howard the most. This was messing him up emotionally. He was scared all the time, convinced that everyone knew. So far, male pregnancies were being kept away from the media out of concern that extra stress would harm the babies. They were being kept anonymous. But what would happen when he started showing?
And what about Raj? Howard definitely cared about him, but he wasn't sure if it was love. Sure, he felt more comfortable around Raj than he did around anyone else in the entire world. Raj's touch made him shudder and Raj could do things to him that no woman ever could. Howard wasn't sure that he could call it love. It was all so confusing. Right now, Howard needed a best friend. He was pretty sure that their friendship was being salvaged and he didn't want to mess it up right now. Then why was he hooking up with Raj? Howard couldn't answer that. It just felt right.
Seeing his friends was still awkward. Sheldon wouldn't stop bringing his pregnancy up. Howard felt like a lab rat. Leonard was obviously freaked out. Even if he did give the baby away, they would always remember that he had been pregnant. Nothing would be the same. Bernadette had not understood why Howard had broken up with her. He couldn't tell her the truth and avoided her as much as possible. Howard knew things were bad when he was glad to be home. At least his mother would always love him.
Raj began to wake up slowly, bringing Howard out of his thoughts. The man blinked a few times before his eyes focused on Howard. He smiled. Howard rolled over so he was facing Raj.
"Good morning," he whispered to his lover. Raj didn't answer and buried his head in Howard's chest, still too tired to talk. Howard ruffled Raj's hair and laughed. "You're too cute when you're tired," he told Raj.
"I know," Raj managed to say sleepily. After a few more minutes, Raj was ready to welcome the day. He stretched out his arms and yawned. Then, he leaned in and placed a kiss on Howard's cheek. Howard could still feel the shadow of Raj's kiss on his cheek as he returned the favor, placing his lips on Raj's. The kiss deepened and Howard felt an arm snake up his back. Somehow, both men shifted around so Howard was kneeling over Raj. Raj's tongue slipped inside of Howard's mouth and Howard let out a content sigh. Neither man's heart was racing, they were both calm. It was amazing that each time they kissed, it felt different. They were so lost in each other's eyes that they didn't hear the door open. Howard let out a sigh of pleasure. Raj laughed. Someone cleared their throat. Shit, Howard said to himself.
"Get out," an icy voice spat. Howard turned around and saw his mother standing in the doorway. His heart sank. The calm feeling was instantly replaced with total fear. The back of his neck felt like it was covered with a million tiny needles. Raj was still underneath him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
"M-mom?" Howard managed to say.
"Get out. Now. Both of you," she repeated. Howard had never heard his mother speak so softly. It was terrifying. Her eyes were full of hurt and anger.
"Let me explain. Please," begged Howard, "Mom, please."
"Your actions have said enough. Put on your clothes and get out."
Awkwardly, Howard reached for his boxers, which were laying on the floor. He put them on under the covers and then slipped out of the bed. Raj stood up too, still wearing boxers from last night. They quickly gathered their clothes without a word. Howard turned to face his mom, with a pleading look on his face.
"Please," he whispered. Howard's mother narrowed her eyes. Howard was so focused on his mother's eyes that he didn't see his mother's hand raising. Raj did. Her hand was flying towards Howard's face and Raj jumped across the bed. Somehow, he managed to pull Howard out of the way just in time. Raj held Howard in his arms as the man tried to steady his breathing. He was in shock. Raj took a deep breath, he had to say something. He opened his mouth to speak and no words came out. Looking down at Howard, he saw a tear drip from Howard's eye. He had to speak up this time.
"Mrs. Wolowitz, I think we are done here," He said sternly. Before Raj could process what had just happened, he slid past Howard's mother and dragged Howard out of his apartment. Raj got to the sidewalk before stopping.
"Wait here," he told Howard. Raj sprinted to his car. He struggled with his keys as he tried to unlock his car. On the sidewalk Howard had slumped to the ground. Finally, Raj unlocked his car and started it. He pulled up next to Howard and waited for him to get into the car. Howard wasn't moving.
"Howard?" he called out. The man remained motionless. Raj got out of the car and helped Howard up. After a few minutes, Raj managed to get Howard into the car and buckled his seatbelt. The ride over to Raj's apartment was spent in total silence. Raj was worried about Howard. He was pale and had not spoken since they had left. Raj managed get to his apartment after a shaky drive. He sat in the car for a second and tried to steady his hands. Next to him, Howard whimpered.
"Howard?" Raj asked again. There was no answer. With a heavy sight, Raj got out of the car and helped Howard up the stairs. He placed Howard on his bed and pulled the covers over him. Raj heard a phone ring. It was Howard's. Howard didn't seem to notice. Maybe it was his mother. Raj grabbed the phone and looked at the caller ID. It was a person named Melonie. Raj quickly pressed the ignore button. He had more important things to think about than some girl he didn't know. Raj placed a hand on Howard's forehead. He was cold. Going to the closet, Raj pulled out another blanket and laid it over Howard. The man shifted a bit as the blanket lowered onto his body. Raj took it as a good sign. He grabbed a chair from the other room and sat next to Howard. Raj felt like he was in a hospital waiting for a dear friend to wake up from a coma. The scariest part of it all was that Howard's eyes were open. He was awake, just unresponsive. Raj's heart broke when he realized that Howard was still crying. This was the first moment in Raj's life that he could ever remember truly hating someone. He hated Howard's mother for causing her own son so much pain and for never once asking how Howard was feeling.
Raj pulled into the parking lot by Howard's house. There was no turning back now. The sun had set a while ago and it was colder than normal out. Raj felt like a superhero. He was sneaking up on the villain and he was going to get what he needed. It was childish to think of this as a game but if he didn't Raj would realize what he was doing and probably turn back. He got out of the car and quietly locked it. Raj put the keys in his pocket so they wouldn't make any noise. He walked up to the front door and tried to open it. It was locked. Plan A went down the drain. Things would have been much easier if the door had been unlocked. From the numerous times Raj had been over to Howard's house, he knew that Howard's mother usually sat on her recliner in front of the TV. All he would have had to do would be to sneak past her and up the stairs.
Raj walked around to the back of the apartment complex and looked for a way in. He couldn't find one. That left only one option. He had to face the beast head on. Even worse, Raj wouldn't be able to speak. He was still amazed that he had been able to speak to her earlier but he was so nervous about what he had to do that speech would surely be impossible. Slowly, Raj made his way to the front entrance. He raised his hand up towards the door and knocked on it. There was no answer. He knocked again.
"IM COMING!" Mrs. Wolowitz bellowed. Raj began to sweat as he heard the woman approaching. The door handle twisted and finally the large woman came into view. Raj could tell she wasn't pleased.
"What are you doing here?" she spat. Raj flinched. He pointed at the stairs. Then to his clothes. The woman just narrowed her eyes even more until they were nothing but slits. Raj reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Into the phone he typed a message: I am here for Howard's things. Howard's mother read the message and scowled.
"I have no use for his crap!" she yelled, "You have five minutes to get that useless shit out of that room before I call the police and have you arrested." Raj wasted no time getting to Howard's room. He grabbed as many clothes as he could fit into his hands and carried them to his car. It took him three trips to get all of the clothes out of the room. Then he went back for Howard's computer and bathroom stuff. On the last trip Raj took Howard's comics. Without a word to Howard's mother, Raj left the apartment, got in his car, and drove as fast as he could back to his apartment.
Raj expected Howard to be in his room when he got back. Surprisingly, the man was sitting at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in his hand. He looked awful. Dark circles lined his eyes which were red and swollen. His hair was knotted and his clothes were wrinkled up. Raj rushed over to Howard and gave him a huge hug. Howard leaned into Raj but didn't hug him back.
"Howard? Please say something. You're scaring me." Raj told him. Howard finally made eye contact with Raj. His eyes were pools of hurt. Raj took a step back and couldn't help but gasp. Never in his life had he seen a person so broken, so tired.
"Oh Howard! I'm so sorry. I wish none of this had ever happened. It's all my fault," Raj said as he stood there. Raj felt tears well up in his eyes too. The stress was wearing them down. Howard looked up at Raj again and sighed. Grabbing his cup of coffee, Howard got up and walked into Raj's bedroom, slamming the door shut.
Well, that's all I've got. I pulled an all-nighter since I couldn't sleep. Hope you like it. Btw, I finally watched the episode where Howard and Raj go goth. It's hilarious. You should watch it if you haven't seen it.