Shelter
Part One
Chapter Six: You Can't Always Get What You Want
Ships: Brittana with Pucktana, Puck/Brittany, Pezberry, Quinntana friendships. Minor Quick.
Summary: The only thing worse than being reaped is volunteering for someone you love. Because then they have something to use against you. Brittany and Santana learn that the hard way.
Other: This is a Hunger Games AU. Every chapter will be named after a line from a Glee song with contextual or sometimes more literal relevance to the chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or The Hunger Games.
Author's Note: So I apologize for not updating last week, but it was my first week back from holidays. Needless to say, things were a little hectic so I hope you forgive me for that. I know many of you were excited about the kiss last chapter, so you'll probably be happy to know that this chapter picks up right after the end of the last one. Enjoy!
"I missed you so fucking much," Santana whispered against Brittany's lips. She felt as Brittany's lips turned upward slightly into a smile and pushed into hers again. She was suddenly hit with an immense wave of raw emotion that she hid been running from for so long. At that moment with Brittany, for the first time in years Santana felt lightness. She felt like she could kiss Brittany forever and just float away into another life. But at the very back of her mind, she felt a very familiar sensation. It was fear.
She desperately kissed Brittany again trying to make that feeling disappear, but it was growing bigger, like a fire, inside of her. Brittany seemed to sense her desperation and instead, slowed her own motions causing Santana to feel the slightest bit more calm. Tiny goosebumps appeared all over her dark skin, not because of the slight breeze from their position on top of the building, but from the pale hands that were running along her arms and back.
She felt something warm and wet slide down her face, and for a brief second, she thought that maybe it had started to rain. Then she realized, it was a tear. Brittany must have felt it too, because she pulled away from Santana almost instantly.
"Are you crying? Did I do something wrong?" Brittany touched her lips, self-consciously, her eyes full of concern.
"No, I just- I-"
It took about a split second for Santana to see it. It was in the distance but travelling closer to them by the second. The moment she saw the large, dark plane-like object hovering in the distant sky she jumped away from Brittany. She ran toward the elevator and slammed her small hand on the button facing downward.
"Let's go!" Santana shouted at Brittany as her eyes widened in confusion. Santana looked toward the elevator doors that were still closed before running back toward Brittany and grasping long, nimble fingers. She pulled Brittany as they ran toward the elevator as the doors began to slide open. As soon as they were in the elevator, Santana pressed the 'close door' button repeatedly, as if she wanted to rush to motion. The doors slid shut.
Santana didn't say anything. She was breathing heavily and her eyes darted around the elevator, although it was hardly 10 feet wide. Brittany opened her mouth to try to speak, but Santana hushed her. She closed her eyes and listened. She heard as something large seemed to come closer, then on top of them, and then leave. Without another word, Santana leaned forward on her toes, hit the button to their floor, and waited.
Brittany watched Santana and waited for her to say something, anything. But she didn't.
The short ride in the elevator was silent. Santana was aware that she was probably scaring Brittany, because they had just kissed for the first time in three years and she hadn't said anything or even looked at Brittany for the whole minute-long elevator ride. She felt Brittany's blue gaze piercing the side of her face but she just shifted her eyes to the floor. The bell sounded, the doors shifted open. She heard Brittany open her mouth to say something, but Santana ignored her and set off, speed-walking down the hallway toward her room.
She couldn't believe what was happening. She was walking away from her. She couldn't even attempt to count the amounts of nights Santana had been unable to sleep because she was haunted with visions of Brittany. And now she was walking away from her. Arriving at her room, she ignored her and fumbled around in her pockets for her room key. She pulled it out of her left back pocket and slid it in the door. The latch clicked open and as Santana pushed the door open.
"Santana…" she heard from behind her.
She turned around to face sad blue eyes and a hopeless looking beautiful blonde girl. Brittany's hope, which had previously dwindled down to almost nothing when Santana hadn't so much as looked at her, seemed to have been reignited when Santana faced her. She took a leap of faith and walked forward, with conviction. When she was just inches away from Santana, she searched her eyes before dismissing any doubtful thoughts she had in her head.
"Don't- just," Brittany was almost begging. "Don't."
She wrapped a hand around the back of Santana's neck and pulled her toward her in a searing kiss. Brittany tried to pour every single emotion she was feeling in that kiss and Santana definitely felt it. It felt even better than it had on the roof. Santana suddenly felt safer than she had ever felt in her entire life. She felt like nothing could ever hurt her and that Brittany would keep her safe forever. When Brittany slipped Santana's lower lip between hers and sucked gently on it, Santana felt like she was floating in the sea back home. She could almost smell the slight saltiness in the air mixed with the smell of freshly caught fish off of her father's fishing boat. It felt perfect.
When Brittany finally pulled away, she rested her forehead against Santana's so that they were imitating the position they had been in just minutes before. Santana could feel Brittany's hot breaths on her lips and it was about driving her insane. But when she heard the familiar noise of a door opening and then closing quickly after, she was pulled back into her head.
"Brittany…" Santana began, but was quickly cut off by Brittany's lips pressing against her own again.
"We can't," Santana told her, between quick pecks, and Brittany shut her eyes and shook her head.
"Why?" Brittany demanded in a teary, emotional voice. "Why can't we, Santana?"
"I'm sorry, Brittany, but it's… It's complicated, okay?" Santana tried to explain, but the explanation only seemed to anger the usually-calm blonde.
"Why does everyone keep saying that? What's so complicated?" Brittany finally pulled her body away from Santana and, in frustration, she threw her hands out to either side of her body. She wiped at the corner of her eyes quickly, trying to stay strong for the conversation.
Santana didn't answer, and just shifted her eyes to where the carpet met the wall. Brittany took a deep breath to calm herself and ran her fingers through long sun-kissed blonde hair.
"I don't need… I just… I want you. You're all I've ever wanted, okay? It hurt me so much when I would knock on your door right after you came home and when I would see you sitting on your dock and you would just ignore me because I'm just some stupid girl and you're a big famous-"
"Don't. It wasn't- was never like that," Santana said in a loud tone immediately. "I-I've never cared about anyone the way I-"
"Well, it doesn't matter because you're not being fair. It's not fair that you kissed me on the roof at your secret spot and it's not fair that you told me how much you missed me and you're telling me that we can't. It's not fair that you're telling me that we can't do this and then say stuff like that. How do you expect me not to want to kiss you all the time when you're going to walk around, looking all beautiful with your stupid, soft hair and your sexy voice and your pretty face? And all because you're too scared?"
Santana opened her mouth and closed it several times. She could hardly believe the words that were coming out of Brittany's mouth. Brittany had always been a person who said what she really thought, but Santana seemed to have forgotten over the past three years because she was truly in shock.
"I'm sorry," she offered pathetically. "We can't."
Santana opened her room door again, entered her room and shut the door on Brittany.
"But I love you," she heard the blonde say through the wooden door. Santana let the tears fall from her eyes without reservations and tried to control her breathing as to not let Brittany hear her on the other side of the thin door.
"Santana!"
Santana whipped her head around at the familiar voice. Her eyes darted from side to side of the space that she suddenly found herself in the middle of. She was standing in the middle of a forest clearing. There were thick, green trees surrounding the clearing and a dark, almost black sky over her head.
"San!"
She heard the voice coming from the part of the forest that was right in front of her. She ran forward until she was out of the clearing and running through thick jungle-like vines and jumping over plants and rocks to find the source of the voice.
"I'm coming!"
"San!"
The voice was behind her suddenly. She stopped and at the back of her mind, she became very suspicious. The voice was in front of her and now it was behind her. Something was not making sense. She was apprehensive to leave back, but just for one second, because she could never ever not go after her. So she turned around and started running back the way she came. She saw the clearing ahead of her and saw a flash of flowing blonde hair.
"Brittany!" Santana called out.
She was almost out of the forest. She stepped one foot out onto the dirt ground of the clearing and it seemed like the world was moving in slow motion. Brittany turned around to face Santana and her features went from scared and worried to a smile of relief. Upon seeing the brunette rushing toward her, she opened her mouth to greet her. But Santana saw something familiar out of the corner of her eye. It caught in the moonlight, flashing into Santana's eyes. Her heart dropped to her stomach.
"Brittany!" Santana screamed.
Santana watched in horror as seemingly out of nowhere, a long, steel arrow pierced Brittany's stomach. A growing pool of blood showed through the blonde's previously white shirt and she began to waver on her feet. Brittany looked up, into Santana's dark brown eyes, and looked back down to the growing spot on her shirt.
"Santana!"
"Santana, wake up!"
The shrill, high-pitched voice awakened her with a jump and Santana shot up in bed in a cold sweat. She began to breathe deeply in an attempt to slow her fast-beating heart. She reached down for her blanket and pulled it up to wipe her face. She hated sleeping. She hated it. She pushed the visions of dream Brittany's death out of her mind just as she had done every morning for three years. She closed her eyes and willed the nightmares away. When she finally opened them again, she watched as Rachel ran around her room, carrying various items of clothing and shoving them into drawers around the room.
"Are you unpacking my stuff?" Santana asked incredulously in a tired voice.
"You're going to be late. Hurry up, get out of bed and into the shower," the shorter girl rattled off.
Rachel folded the last item of Santana's clothing and placed it in the drawer beneath the large television set neatly. She put her hands on her hips and turned to face Santana. With a gasp, she stepped forward and Santana leaned back on her hands on confusion.
"Y-your lips are chapped, your eyes are bloodshot and your hair is a mess," Rachel trailed off in a suspicious voice. "Did you have sex with Brittany last night?"
"What?" Santana's hands jetted to her face defensively. "No! What the fuck are you even doing in my room?"
"You did! I knew something was going on when I saw you two all close in the hallway yesterday! You slept with her!" Rachel pointed at her conspiratorially and then suddenly stopped. Her eyes moved around the room, uneasily. "Oh my God, is she still here?"
"I didn't have sex with anyone last night!" Santana shouted in exasperation. She pushed the hair out of her face before sliding out of bed and began to walk toward the bathroom. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a shower."
Santana made her way over to the bathroom, stopping only to pick three fluffy towels out of the linen closet. Rachel sat on her bed and watched as she took her time meticulously choosing three towels, although they were all the same. She began to slowly yet surely, piece together the puzzle. Santana's lips were chapped and Rachel had no doubt seen her kissing Brittany in the hallway the night before so it was easy to see how she quickly jumped to the conclusion that they had had sex. But they bloodshot eyes, messy hair and Santana's less than cordial morning greeting?
Santana stood, clutching the three towels and bathrobe in her arms and looked expectantly at the shorter brunette. Rachel, knowing a dismissal when she was given one, nodded and stood. Rachel found herself at the door of Santana's room, but not ready to leave just yet.
"Were you crying?" Rachel asked unsurely and a little bit afraid of the answer.
Santana was one of the strongest girls Rachel had ever met, physically, but mentally, Rachel knew that Santana was fragile despite the attitude that she showed other people. She didn't let people in often, but oddly enough she did talk to Rachel. She'd said once that Rachel reminded her of her best friend from back home.
"I… Can I just shower, Rach? I'll see you in a few, okay?" Santana turned to face Rachel, but avoided her eyes. Before Rachel could even say anything else, Santana entered the bathroom and closed and locked the door.
She twisted the metal knob in the bathtub and a jet of warm water began to spray from the shower head. She slipped out of her flimsy tank top and running shorts and tossed them to the floor in a small pile in the corner of the room. Avoiding her naked form in the mirror, she walked past the vanity and stepped into the stream of now hot water.
She knew she should probably hurry up, but she didn't want to ever leave the safety of that small space. She knew Rachel was right. She was going to be late. She didn't want to ever be present for the next few hours though, because in approximately twenty minutes, she was to teach Brittany how to murder another human being.
Santana shook her damp hair out with a towel as she walked out of the washroom in a warm, fluffy bathrobe. She glanced over at the clock on her bedside table nonchalantly but quickly paled when she saw that she was already ten minutes late.
"Fuck," she whispered as she quickly let the bathrobe fall from her skinny frame and land on the floor in a pile.
She ran over to her drawers where she saw Rachel emptying her clothes into earlier and removed a pair of clean lace underwear and a sports bra. She pulled the underwear over soft and toned thighs and pulled the sports bra over her head before adjusting her breasts into a comfortable position the sports bra. She ran over to her closet and pulled out the synthetic training suit that Kurt had designed for the Victors and Tributes the year before. She slipped the suit on and it seemed to melt into her body like a second skin. Then, she pulled on the boots that Kurt had made for her and strapped them on tight. Giving herself a once-over in the full length mirror beside the front door of her room, she swept her almost-dry hair over her left shoulder and opened the door to reveal a large, muscular figure.
"Fuck!" she shouted in shock. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Chill, girl! Puck shouted back at her. "I was sent to get you! You're late."
Santana stepped out of her room and Puck stepped backwards. She pulled the door closed behind her and shook the door handle to make sure that it was locked properly. She felt Puck's skeptical, judging eyes on her, but ignored them. She stepped back from the door and gestured for them to walk toward the elevator.
"Sorry," she said, swallowing her pride. "I've been a little bit on edge lately."
"It's cool." Puck nodded, swinging his hands at his sides. "Hey, at least you're not going into a literal bloodbath in a few weeks."
"You don't know what the Capitol's like for the mentors," Santana chuckled sardonically.
"And I never will," Puck said and Santana suddenly felt really guilty.
"I-uh-I," Santana stammered, uncharacteristically.
She cleared her throat and closed her eyes quickly. In that split second, she saw the baby in her head. It was a girl, in her head, because it just seemed fitting for Quinn to have a girl and because although all of District Four seemed to think that Puck was some crazy sex addict, Santana had remembered how sensitive he used to be when they were kids. She had tiny little wisps of blonde hair on her head that were the exact same shade as Quinn's but her eyes were this crazy shade of hazel that was almost gold with these little green specks everywhere just like Puck's. She was beautiful.
In that moment, she knew that she had to do something, anything for him. Even if she wouldn't help him survive in the arena, she had to make sure he could see his baby.
"What?" Puck said distractedly as he pressed the down button on the panel on the wall. The elevator bell sounded and the pair stepped in.
"She's not going to do well in the arena," Santana said blankly. "She doesn't like to hurt people and she definitely won't kill anyone."
"Yeah," Puck nodded solemnly. He pressed the button for the first underground level, where all of the training sessions took place.
"But you will. You're strong and with the right training, you can be just as strong as a Career," she said and looked at him with authority.
"Yeah, probably," Puck said, looking at her suspiciously. "What's up?"
"I want you to protect her in there." Santana turned to look at him. "Protect her and I'll make sure you'll see your baby."
"I can see my baby and Quinn if I live," Puck corrected. "I don't need to protect Brittany to do that. I can win and then I'll see my baby."
"You won't," Santana tilted her head to the side slightly. "That's where you're wrong."
"Are you threatening me?" Puck stepped forward, menacingly but Santana didn't sway.
The elevator doors opened.
"Think about it," she finished.
And with that, she set off down the long hallway with Puck close behind, her words haunting his mind.
So there's chapter six! I hope you all liked it :) Sorry it was so short, but I felt like that was a good place to end things. Next chapter is about 5000 words, though! I'd love to hear what you guys thought of the part after the kiss. Did you expect Santana to react that way? And I hope you all like the Pezberry friendship, because I personally love the Santana and Rachel dynamic. They're so similar yet so different.
Oh, and also, how perfect was that Brittana moment in this week's episode? I mean, it wasn't nearly enough for me, but as a Brittana shipper, I've learned to be content with whatever the writers give us.
So review and tell me what you thought of chapter six!