Cloud Strife: Is Raising Children Harder Than Saving The World?

Disclaimer: No comment.

Chapter 5: The Return of the Devil Spawn: Mitchell Roland.

Barrett was locked in the wine cellar slowly drinking his way through every last drop of liquor and into oblivion, Vincent was locked in the bathroom crying his eyes out, Cid had him self barricaded in Cloud's office, Red-Nanaki had burrowed in the backyard and was now freely spilling his guts to gophers as though they were his shrinks, and Cloud was trying to get Denzel (who by the way was going nuts) out of the washing machine. And all this had been caused by one eight year old. Mickey.

"ARE YOU INSANE TIFA ANN LOCKHART!" Cloud was sure his fiancée was losing her mind.

"CLOUD ANDREAS STRIFE DO NOT YELL AT ME!"

"Ti, how could you invite Mickey over here again after the last time! And have ME watch him again?"

"I need to go shopping with Marlene and the girls, invite the boys over, and have them help you! I mean cmon if five grown men can't handle two eight year olds..."

"Mickey is not just some regular eight year old Ti!"

"Mar-Mar! Denny! Breakfast!" Cloud knew that meant Tifa wasn't changing her mind so he sat down to eat.

"Mickey's still coming over right?" Denzel asked sounding excited.

"N-" Cloud began but of course he was abruptly cut off by Tifa.

"He's still coming over and the boys may be too." Grrr. Why did Tifa always chose Cloud's day off to invite the stupid miniature Satan.

"Awesome!" Cloud had to admit, it was nice to see the boy happy.

1 hour later. (you must know the drill by now)

All the AVALANCHE men sat around a table in bar. After hearing why Cloud had called them over Barrett and Red-Nanaki had rolled with laughter.

"You dumb ass mother-fucking blonde Cloud!" No one decided to point out that Cid himself blonde, "You're such a damn pussy ass bitch! You can't watch two fucking eight year olds?" Vincent stared at Cid horror until he realized that that wasn't the way Cid was using the word "fucking". Modern words were so damned confusing.

"He's NOT just a regular eight year old Cid! Vince has seen the evil kid in action, ask him!" Cid looked at Vinnie for conformation and he nodded.
Red-Nanaki and Barrett still hadn't stopped laughing. They won't be laughing when the kid that's been damned so many times I-don't-know-why-he-still-walks-the-earth gets here. Cloud thought to himself. He was wrong. They would be laughing just not at all for the same reason as they were now.

1 hour later (I shouldn't even have to tell you to say it like the SoongeBob Narrator)

"Hi Mr. Strife and Mr. Vampire-Man!"

"My name is Vincent Valentine and I AM NOT a vampire."

"But are you a man?" the boy looked at Vinnie's crotch, "Yeah your a man."

Vincent felt violated on so many different levels...

"Okay Mickey time to set some ground rules while your here," Red said slowly. "No-"

"COOKIES!" The insane child screamed seeing them sitting on the counter. Mickey A.K.A Satan spawn was able to inhale about five of Tifa's cookies before anyone was able to stop him. And that was how the terror started.

"GET HIM YOU MOTHER-FUCKING RETARD CAT!" Vincent screamed.

"Someone's been hangin' out with Cid for too long..." Barrett sighed.

A/N: HA HA Splitting it up again! Sorry for not updating in like a gagillion years. My computer access has sucked lately. Blame it on my Bo Bo (brother)- Sincerely yours MalikaiDragonSlayer

P.S. My friend Julio works my corners :) A.K.A he's my man-whore. I'll probably add the rest today at least I hope I will be able to.