Kilik: ... Shinigami no kamikaze doesn't own... oh, what's the point? If you don't know she doesn't own Gundam Wing by now, you're a lost cause.
SnK:So many ideas, so little time... ah well, since I hate it when I have to wait forever for the next part of the fics I like, I suppose I'll work on this one...
Hwoarang:Your enthusiasm is astounding.
SnK: ... heey, I'm tired... leave me alone... or you'll regret it.
Hwoarang: OooOOOoo... I'm so scared--
SnK:Remember when I turned you into a pink bunny? I'll do it again. In a bigger, better and more humiliating way.
Hwoarang:*shuts up*
SnK:Ahhh... silence. ... ... ... ... ...too silent. *turns on stereo and blasts it*
Hwoarang:*groans loudly*
SnK:*glares*
Hwoarang:*smiles meekly*
Kilik:*shouting over the music* This fic contains swearing, angst, 'n' shounen ai!!!
Giving Away an Angel
Part 5
by Shinigami no kamikaze
Duo was in front of the TV, but didn't pay any attention to the car chase on at the moment. Normally, he'd be completely absorbed... but not now. Not with all he had to think about...
Quatre was a mess, he knew that. He just didn't know what to do about it. He wanted so desperately to help.. but what could he do? He himself hadn't found a way to dull the pain of his losses... Damn it, he couldn't stand this helplessness, this uselessness! The only reason he had lost all those people so long ago was because of his own shortcomings... was history going to repeat itself? He couldn't allow that to happen! But what was he going to do?
This thoughts raced, but never went far... only in an endless circle. He became angrier with himself... felt guiltier... and just when he thought he was going to break down, he heard a key in the lock.
It could be only one person. Heero!
Duo collected himself in a hurry, and shot up from his seat. He hadn't seen Heero since he'd left on that damnable business trip a week ago. Duo hated the fact his love was always being dragged off to one colony or the other to teach idiots how to use Heero's company's software, but his aggravation always melted away under his lover's touch...
The door swung open, and Duo fought the urge to take a step back. There was something different about Heero. It was obvious to Duo, though anyone else might not have recognized that look in his eyes. Such rage... barely under control... seething under the surface of the Prussian blue eyes.
"Heero.... what's wrong?", Duo asked quietly, instantly worried about Heero.
Heero's response could only be described as a growl. He glared at Duo, eyes filled with rage. Over the past few hours, his fledgling emotions had been exaggerating the incident further and further. Insecurity worked hand in hand with imagination to create a scenario of infidelity spanning months... maybe years. Heero had no idea of the truth, and was being controlled by emotions he hadn't grown up with. Duo's claim to ignorance upset him further. How could Duo not know what was wrong?!
"Hee-chan..." Duo's worry and anxiety started to increase with his partner's continued silence. He'd never seen his normally stoic koi so angry. "Please, tell me..."
"You..", Heero hissed, "...and Quatre."
Duo was confused, to say the least. What about him and Quatre?
Heero saw his love's dumbfounded look, and was in a generous enough mood to jog his memory. "This afternoon... you looked quite ..comfortable.. together."
"What!?" Duo's eyes widened at Heero's implications as he tried to remember what could have even given Heero that idea. Then he recalled when Quatre had fallen asleep in his arms... Heero must have seen them. Anger began to flare up inside of Duo. Did Heero really trust him so little?! But he kept himself calm. There was no need for this misunderstanding to blow up even bigger than it already had by letting himself lose it. "Heero, you're getting upset over nothing! Quatre just came over because he was upset over Trowa's death... I was just comforting him when he fell asleep! I was tired, too, and I didn't see the need to wake him, so I ended up falling asleep, too. Nothing else happened. Nothing else!"
Heero crossed his arms. Just how stupid did Duo think he was? "And how long have you been 'comforting' him, huh, Duo?", Heero spat out.
Duo's jaw nearly dropped in shock at Heero's continued accusations. "I can't believe you! Don't you trust me at all?" Duo cried, hands clenching into fists. "Nothing happened. I wouldn't do that... you should know that!"
"How long, Duo?", Heero persisted.
"Are you even listening to me? Nothing has been going on." Duo then added quietly, venomously, "Of course, you'd already know that..., " then he started to scream, "...if you were ever here with me!!!"
---
Quatre sighed wistfully as he brushed his fingertips over a picture of Trowa. A small smile graced his lips when he thought about when the picture had been taken... shaking hsi head slightly, he started to go back to looking over a financial report.
Trowa sat watching from a chair. He was in a little better mood than before. He could tell that part of the weight Quatre had been carrying around on his shoulders had been lifted. But Quatre was far from healed... although it was a good start, and he couldn't exactly expect Duo to be able to magically heal his love... even Trowa couldn't do that.
While he'd taken time to simply watch his little angel, he'd also spent a lot of time thinking about Duo. The self-styled Shinigami was on his mind, and wouldn't leave him alone. He knew he didn't love Quatre any less... and he didn't love Duo more.. that is, if he loved Duo at all. Was he just making too much of it? That tantalizing image of Duo in the shower came to him now and then, and he wondered if it was just lust... but ever since he started thinking about Duo in this new light... Oh, he was so confused!
"Aaa... Quatre... even if I were alive, I don't suppose I could talk about this with you... but, what would you do? What you do if our positions were reversed?"
Of course, Quatre didn't respond. By now, he'd let himself become completely lost in his work. It was an opportunity to relieve himself of his grief when he didn't have to think about anything but figures and estimates.
"Well, Quatre... if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go check up on Duo.", Trowa said softly as he stood up, and turned to walk through the door.
---
"I don't have to take this! I think it'd be best if I gave you some time to think _alone_", Duo shouted, then turned around and walked into the room Heero and he shared, in search of his coat. Maybe he could crash at Quatre's place... or Wufei's. Otherwise, he could just stay at some motel. He sure as Hell wasn't going to stay here and listen to this shit!
Heero froze in place. He went so far as to hold his breath as Duo stormed off. Did Duo mean he was leaving? Terror gripped him. No! No, no ,no... Duo couldn't leave! Heero couldn't be left all alone and abandoned, especially not with these emotions raging in him. He _needed_ Duo. He needed Duo to guide him. He needed Duo's love and reassurance... he'd be completely lost without him. Duo. could. not. leave.
The prospect of Duo going away broke the last remnants of self control Heero had. The soldier in him knew only method to solve problems.
Duo exited their room with his coat on and a small backpack filled with a couple of things he'd probably need, though he'd thrown it together in a rush. He walked straight up to Heero, who had not exited the entryway. "Get outta my way", Duo demanded.
Heero snapped. He grabbed Duo by the shoulders and practically threw Duo back into a wall. Duo's back hit the wall full force with his head not far behind. His back exploded with pain as his head ached horribly. He dropped to the ground, shocked and suddenly afraid of his lover Heero. He'd _never_ been afraid of Heero, even before their relationship started... even when Heero'd held a gun on him. Before his mind could fully process what was going on, Heero was on him again.
Pent up anger and confusion drove the perfect soldier. He started to blindly kick at Duo's body, landing a few blows in his stomach, one catching Duo's arm and breaking the bone. Duo instinctively tried to protect himself by curling up into a ball, legs drawn up to protect his already throbbing torso, arms protecting his head. It did no good as Heero's powerful blows quickly forced his defenses aside. Duo choked on his cries, tears flowing unchecked as the only person left alive he loved beat him mercilessly, finally screaming in pain as Heero showed no signs of slowing.
Heero grabbed Duo's broken arm by chance and used it to drag Duo up. The pain blinded Duo momentarily, as he was hauled up onto his badly injured legs. He coughed uncontrollably, tasting the coppery tang of blood in his mouth. Each cough shook his body, the movement agony for his broken ribs. Knives of pain lanced through Duo with any movement he dare make, his vision reduced to blurry patches of lightness and darkness. There was no chance of Duo being able to stand under his own power, so Heero held him in place against the wall by his neck.
Duo's eyes cleared somewhat, and he dared to look into Heero's eyes, and didn't see any trace of the person he knew as Heero there, just the anger and frustration of the many years when Heero hadn't permitted himself to feel... the events of recent finally causing a breakdown in Heero's tentative control. Duo tried to say his name, to reach out to the Heero he knew, somehow... but when he opened his mouth Heero tightened his grip, cutting off Duo's words and his breath. Then Heero struck the right side of Duo's face, immediately snapping his fist back and coming across his other cheek. Heero tossed Duo to the floor, and turned toward him. Duo's vision once more cleared enough for him to meet the glare Heero was giving him, and his heart froze. Duo knew he was going to die. Before Heero could lay another finger on him, the Japanese was thrown to the floor himself. Duo did not see anything else. The darkness was too strong for him, and he slipped quietly away.
Trowa had not thought, he had simply acted. At the same moment Heero had raised his fist, Trowa had walked through the door. For a moment, Trowa was frozen in horror as he saw Duo's beaten and bleeding form beginning strangled by Heero... to see the look of anguish in Duo's eyes and to see him try to gasp for air in vain... to see someone he loved be hurt by someone they had trusted, someone he had also called friend. When he saw Heero ready to harm Duo further, Trowa forgot all about his condition... he simply went to stop Heero.
Trowa tackled Heero, and started to pound in his face. When Heero had gone after Duo, Duo'd had no chance... Duo didn't have the kind of hand-to-hand combat training Heero did, knowing better how to avoid such confrontations than to hold his own in one. Besides, there was Heero's abnormal strength to deal with. As Duo'd had no hope then, Heero had none now. He could not even see Trowa, and as Trowa was dead and intangible, had no way to fight back or harm Trowa in any way. His strength meant nothing, especially compared with Trowa's, as Trowa's strength was not constrained by the limits of a frail corporeal body. The strength of his emotions... his fledgling and growing love for Duo, his hatred and rage... was what was determining his strength, and what was allowing him to interact with things in the living world at a level that would normally have been impossible.
Heero trashed at whatever force kept him pinned down uselessly. One of Trowa's punches broke Heero's jaw, making pain flood all his thoughts and forcing his rage level to go down as his panic level started to rise. Another strike broke his nose, a third caused him to lose consciousness.
Trowa's prepared to strike Heero again, for daring to hurt Duo like that... for what Heero had done, Trowa was quite ready and willing to kill. In fact, that was what he was planning to do. But something held him back, and he looked over at Duo's still form. Heero was worthless... it was Duo Trowa cared for and needed (in so many ways..). Since Heero was no longer a threat to Duo, Trowa abandoned him and ran to the unnaturally still boy.
Terror gripped him when he realized Duo was not breathing. Quickly he looked for a pulse, and he thanked every deity he knew the name of when he found it. Without wasting time, he held Duo's nose as he leaned forward to seal his lips over the American's and breathed. It was only then, in the back of Trowa's mind, he realized he hadn't been breathing since he'd returned ..until now.
One more breath, and Trowa pulled back to check and be sure Duo's heart was still beating. He kept at it.. two breaths, check for a pulse, two breaths, check for a pulse... tears misted Trowa's vision as he worked, not wanting to think of the consequences if Duo died. He simply couldn't let Duo die this way, he didn't deserve that! And Trowa couldn't fail, not if he hoped to see either Quatre or Duo ever again...
Trowa lost track of time.. lost track of everything. Only Duo and he existed in the world... until, finally, Duo's body shuttered. He began to cough up more blood, and Trowa's heart froze. Then the American began to take shallow breaths on his own, his chest rising and falling unevenly.
Trowa wanted to grab and hug the braided boy, but he knew that things were far from over. Duo was in no condition to be moved... and no matter how strong his feelings for Duo were, he did not have the power to speak... to call for help. What could he do? Try to drag one of the neighbors in ...? But these people were the same assholes who did not react to the noise undoubtedly caused the beating Heero had given Duo! Could he get Quatre to come here...? How, and would he make it in time? Could Trowa even dare to leave Duo alone?
~~~end
SnK:Okay, everyone... hope I didn't screw up the story entirely for you! And sorry for not warning you about the violence.. all I did was discreetly up the rating. But I didn't want to practically scream out what happens in this chapter...
Anyway, if you're still interested in the story, please review. Reviews encourage me and get me to write chapters faster... but if I get none, that'll tell me interest in this story is dead, and then I just might start killing lots of people just to end the series as fast as possible so I can move on to other things. So please review!
Oh yea, and thanks for reading ^_^
SnK:So many ideas, so little time... ah well, since I hate it when I have to wait forever for the next part of the fics I like, I suppose I'll work on this one...
Hwoarang:Your enthusiasm is astounding.
SnK: ... heey, I'm tired... leave me alone... or you'll regret it.
Hwoarang: OooOOOoo... I'm so scared--
SnK:Remember when I turned you into a pink bunny? I'll do it again. In a bigger, better and more humiliating way.
Hwoarang:*shuts up*
SnK:Ahhh... silence. ... ... ... ... ...too silent. *turns on stereo and blasts it*
Hwoarang:*groans loudly*
SnK:*glares*
Hwoarang:*smiles meekly*
Kilik:*shouting over the music* This fic contains swearing, angst, 'n' shounen ai!!!
Giving Away an Angel
Part 5
by Shinigami no kamikaze
Duo was in front of the TV, but didn't pay any attention to the car chase on at the moment. Normally, he'd be completely absorbed... but not now. Not with all he had to think about...
Quatre was a mess, he knew that. He just didn't know what to do about it. He wanted so desperately to help.. but what could he do? He himself hadn't found a way to dull the pain of his losses... Damn it, he couldn't stand this helplessness, this uselessness! The only reason he had lost all those people so long ago was because of his own shortcomings... was history going to repeat itself? He couldn't allow that to happen! But what was he going to do?
This thoughts raced, but never went far... only in an endless circle. He became angrier with himself... felt guiltier... and just when he thought he was going to break down, he heard a key in the lock.
It could be only one person. Heero!
Duo collected himself in a hurry, and shot up from his seat. He hadn't seen Heero since he'd left on that damnable business trip a week ago. Duo hated the fact his love was always being dragged off to one colony or the other to teach idiots how to use Heero's company's software, but his aggravation always melted away under his lover's touch...
The door swung open, and Duo fought the urge to take a step back. There was something different about Heero. It was obvious to Duo, though anyone else might not have recognized that look in his eyes. Such rage... barely under control... seething under the surface of the Prussian blue eyes.
"Heero.... what's wrong?", Duo asked quietly, instantly worried about Heero.
Heero's response could only be described as a growl. He glared at Duo, eyes filled with rage. Over the past few hours, his fledgling emotions had been exaggerating the incident further and further. Insecurity worked hand in hand with imagination to create a scenario of infidelity spanning months... maybe years. Heero had no idea of the truth, and was being controlled by emotions he hadn't grown up with. Duo's claim to ignorance upset him further. How could Duo not know what was wrong?!
"Hee-chan..." Duo's worry and anxiety started to increase with his partner's continued silence. He'd never seen his normally stoic koi so angry. "Please, tell me..."
"You..", Heero hissed, "...and Quatre."
Duo was confused, to say the least. What about him and Quatre?
Heero saw his love's dumbfounded look, and was in a generous enough mood to jog his memory. "This afternoon... you looked quite ..comfortable.. together."
"What!?" Duo's eyes widened at Heero's implications as he tried to remember what could have even given Heero that idea. Then he recalled when Quatre had fallen asleep in his arms... Heero must have seen them. Anger began to flare up inside of Duo. Did Heero really trust him so little?! But he kept himself calm. There was no need for this misunderstanding to blow up even bigger than it already had by letting himself lose it. "Heero, you're getting upset over nothing! Quatre just came over because he was upset over Trowa's death... I was just comforting him when he fell asleep! I was tired, too, and I didn't see the need to wake him, so I ended up falling asleep, too. Nothing else happened. Nothing else!"
Heero crossed his arms. Just how stupid did Duo think he was? "And how long have you been 'comforting' him, huh, Duo?", Heero spat out.
Duo's jaw nearly dropped in shock at Heero's continued accusations. "I can't believe you! Don't you trust me at all?" Duo cried, hands clenching into fists. "Nothing happened. I wouldn't do that... you should know that!"
"How long, Duo?", Heero persisted.
"Are you even listening to me? Nothing has been going on." Duo then added quietly, venomously, "Of course, you'd already know that..., " then he started to scream, "...if you were ever here with me!!!"
---
Quatre sighed wistfully as he brushed his fingertips over a picture of Trowa. A small smile graced his lips when he thought about when the picture had been taken... shaking hsi head slightly, he started to go back to looking over a financial report.
Trowa sat watching from a chair. He was in a little better mood than before. He could tell that part of the weight Quatre had been carrying around on his shoulders had been lifted. But Quatre was far from healed... although it was a good start, and he couldn't exactly expect Duo to be able to magically heal his love... even Trowa couldn't do that.
While he'd taken time to simply watch his little angel, he'd also spent a lot of time thinking about Duo. The self-styled Shinigami was on his mind, and wouldn't leave him alone. He knew he didn't love Quatre any less... and he didn't love Duo more.. that is, if he loved Duo at all. Was he just making too much of it? That tantalizing image of Duo in the shower came to him now and then, and he wondered if it was just lust... but ever since he started thinking about Duo in this new light... Oh, he was so confused!
"Aaa... Quatre... even if I were alive, I don't suppose I could talk about this with you... but, what would you do? What you do if our positions were reversed?"
Of course, Quatre didn't respond. By now, he'd let himself become completely lost in his work. It was an opportunity to relieve himself of his grief when he didn't have to think about anything but figures and estimates.
"Well, Quatre... if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go check up on Duo.", Trowa said softly as he stood up, and turned to walk through the door.
---
"I don't have to take this! I think it'd be best if I gave you some time to think _alone_", Duo shouted, then turned around and walked into the room Heero and he shared, in search of his coat. Maybe he could crash at Quatre's place... or Wufei's. Otherwise, he could just stay at some motel. He sure as Hell wasn't going to stay here and listen to this shit!
Heero froze in place. He went so far as to hold his breath as Duo stormed off. Did Duo mean he was leaving? Terror gripped him. No! No, no ,no... Duo couldn't leave! Heero couldn't be left all alone and abandoned, especially not with these emotions raging in him. He _needed_ Duo. He needed Duo to guide him. He needed Duo's love and reassurance... he'd be completely lost without him. Duo. could. not. leave.
The prospect of Duo going away broke the last remnants of self control Heero had. The soldier in him knew only method to solve problems.
Duo exited their room with his coat on and a small backpack filled with a couple of things he'd probably need, though he'd thrown it together in a rush. He walked straight up to Heero, who had not exited the entryway. "Get outta my way", Duo demanded.
Heero snapped. He grabbed Duo by the shoulders and practically threw Duo back into a wall. Duo's back hit the wall full force with his head not far behind. His back exploded with pain as his head ached horribly. He dropped to the ground, shocked and suddenly afraid of his lover Heero. He'd _never_ been afraid of Heero, even before their relationship started... even when Heero'd held a gun on him. Before his mind could fully process what was going on, Heero was on him again.
Pent up anger and confusion drove the perfect soldier. He started to blindly kick at Duo's body, landing a few blows in his stomach, one catching Duo's arm and breaking the bone. Duo instinctively tried to protect himself by curling up into a ball, legs drawn up to protect his already throbbing torso, arms protecting his head. It did no good as Heero's powerful blows quickly forced his defenses aside. Duo choked on his cries, tears flowing unchecked as the only person left alive he loved beat him mercilessly, finally screaming in pain as Heero showed no signs of slowing.
Heero grabbed Duo's broken arm by chance and used it to drag Duo up. The pain blinded Duo momentarily, as he was hauled up onto his badly injured legs. He coughed uncontrollably, tasting the coppery tang of blood in his mouth. Each cough shook his body, the movement agony for his broken ribs. Knives of pain lanced through Duo with any movement he dare make, his vision reduced to blurry patches of lightness and darkness. There was no chance of Duo being able to stand under his own power, so Heero held him in place against the wall by his neck.
Duo's eyes cleared somewhat, and he dared to look into Heero's eyes, and didn't see any trace of the person he knew as Heero there, just the anger and frustration of the many years when Heero hadn't permitted himself to feel... the events of recent finally causing a breakdown in Heero's tentative control. Duo tried to say his name, to reach out to the Heero he knew, somehow... but when he opened his mouth Heero tightened his grip, cutting off Duo's words and his breath. Then Heero struck the right side of Duo's face, immediately snapping his fist back and coming across his other cheek. Heero tossed Duo to the floor, and turned toward him. Duo's vision once more cleared enough for him to meet the glare Heero was giving him, and his heart froze. Duo knew he was going to die. Before Heero could lay another finger on him, the Japanese was thrown to the floor himself. Duo did not see anything else. The darkness was too strong for him, and he slipped quietly away.
Trowa had not thought, he had simply acted. At the same moment Heero had raised his fist, Trowa had walked through the door. For a moment, Trowa was frozen in horror as he saw Duo's beaten and bleeding form beginning strangled by Heero... to see the look of anguish in Duo's eyes and to see him try to gasp for air in vain... to see someone he loved be hurt by someone they had trusted, someone he had also called friend. When he saw Heero ready to harm Duo further, Trowa forgot all about his condition... he simply went to stop Heero.
Trowa tackled Heero, and started to pound in his face. When Heero had gone after Duo, Duo'd had no chance... Duo didn't have the kind of hand-to-hand combat training Heero did, knowing better how to avoid such confrontations than to hold his own in one. Besides, there was Heero's abnormal strength to deal with. As Duo'd had no hope then, Heero had none now. He could not even see Trowa, and as Trowa was dead and intangible, had no way to fight back or harm Trowa in any way. His strength meant nothing, especially compared with Trowa's, as Trowa's strength was not constrained by the limits of a frail corporeal body. The strength of his emotions... his fledgling and growing love for Duo, his hatred and rage... was what was determining his strength, and what was allowing him to interact with things in the living world at a level that would normally have been impossible.
Heero trashed at whatever force kept him pinned down uselessly. One of Trowa's punches broke Heero's jaw, making pain flood all his thoughts and forcing his rage level to go down as his panic level started to rise. Another strike broke his nose, a third caused him to lose consciousness.
Trowa's prepared to strike Heero again, for daring to hurt Duo like that... for what Heero had done, Trowa was quite ready and willing to kill. In fact, that was what he was planning to do. But something held him back, and he looked over at Duo's still form. Heero was worthless... it was Duo Trowa cared for and needed (in so many ways..). Since Heero was no longer a threat to Duo, Trowa abandoned him and ran to the unnaturally still boy.
Terror gripped him when he realized Duo was not breathing. Quickly he looked for a pulse, and he thanked every deity he knew the name of when he found it. Without wasting time, he held Duo's nose as he leaned forward to seal his lips over the American's and breathed. It was only then, in the back of Trowa's mind, he realized he hadn't been breathing since he'd returned ..until now.
One more breath, and Trowa pulled back to check and be sure Duo's heart was still beating. He kept at it.. two breaths, check for a pulse, two breaths, check for a pulse... tears misted Trowa's vision as he worked, not wanting to think of the consequences if Duo died. He simply couldn't let Duo die this way, he didn't deserve that! And Trowa couldn't fail, not if he hoped to see either Quatre or Duo ever again...
Trowa lost track of time.. lost track of everything. Only Duo and he existed in the world... until, finally, Duo's body shuttered. He began to cough up more blood, and Trowa's heart froze. Then the American began to take shallow breaths on his own, his chest rising and falling unevenly.
Trowa wanted to grab and hug the braided boy, but he knew that things were far from over. Duo was in no condition to be moved... and no matter how strong his feelings for Duo were, he did not have the power to speak... to call for help. What could he do? Try to drag one of the neighbors in ...? But these people were the same assholes who did not react to the noise undoubtedly caused the beating Heero had given Duo! Could he get Quatre to come here...? How, and would he make it in time? Could Trowa even dare to leave Duo alone?
~~~end
SnK:Okay, everyone... hope I didn't screw up the story entirely for you! And sorry for not warning you about the violence.. all I did was discreetly up the rating. But I didn't want to practically scream out what happens in this chapter...
Anyway, if you're still interested in the story, please review. Reviews encourage me and get me to write chapters faster... but if I get none, that'll tell me interest in this story is dead, and then I just might start killing lots of people just to end the series as fast as possible so I can move on to other things. So please review!
Oh yea, and thanks for reading ^_^