Weeks….Weeks had gone by. Everyday seemingly the same….it was never that way when I was with my siblings, but now, being a queen, worlds away from them, the world had grown rather dreary.
I sat once again on my favorite window seat, however, this time it wasn't raining. The sun shown rather brightly through the window, sparkling, almost mocking me and my agony. Oh, how I wished that my siblings were doing that instead of the sun. How I wished Peter sat next to me telling me to be much less logical about things. I wished Edmund would say something of key and make Peter upset. I wished Lucy would run off and find something new, leaving us all to follow her lead.
Obviously in no mood for sunshine, I got up and walked about the room, trying to find something for restless hands to do. As I looked about the room, I took in the sight of my favorite room. Books lined every wall, big, small, new, old, ones that held folklore and fact alike. My hands ran over the spines looking for one in particular. My hands found the book before my eyes did. I snatched it off the shelf and walked over the the oak table in the center of the room. I sat down and turned to an all too familiar page. The faces of my brothers, sister, and I all looked back at me.
When we became the kings and queens of Narnia, we all had our portraits painted together instead of individually. My hands ran over the smiling faces of my siblings. Each face lit up with delight and pride of being newly crowned king and queens.
My heart throbbed as it was a joy I no longer felt. I took a breath and slowly laid my head down next to them, being careful not to cry, and mess up the paintings.
"Oh Aslan, you are great. Each action is done with a vast amount of wisdom, but why? Why must you take my siblings from me? You must think me strong to be able to bear such separation. This is a self chosen heartache, but why couldn't they stay? Were they causing an unseen harm? Oh Aslan why?" I cried out, muffled by the book.
Tears began to streak down my face, but I cared not.
Some days, I hardly gave a thought to them. Nevertheless, these days of isolation left me vulnerable to the feelings I held closely to me heart. It was easy to get in self pity when no one looked over my shoulder. I couldn't bear to look any longer. I put my head in my arms and cried harder, but a single voice interrupted.
"My child" the voice called.
I looked up to find no one, however, as I looked down to lay eyes upon my brother's and sister's smiling faces once again, I did not find them, but a beautifully painted lion in all its glory.
I gazed upon it with wonder, as it looked so lifelike. The fur was golden, each brushstroke had a purpose, and accented each feature well. It's muzzle was a kind and noble one, and its eyes seemed to smile. The great lion stood upon a rock, grass surrounding it, with flowers blooming in the intricately painted paw prints made from where the Lion obviously came. I continued to stare astonishment, not believing my eyes. I slowly reached out my hand, allowing my fingers to brush the painting, I found that its mane felt like real fur. I took back my hand in amazement.
The lion's tail flicked in amusment.
"My dear one." The lion spoke
My eyes widened, could it be?
"Aslan" I questioned
"Yes dear Susan, why are you crying?" Aslan asked, compassion emanating from every brushstroke.
I started to tear up again, ashamed that I had been caught, however, still hurt that I felt like I was no longer supported. Almost as if I had been abandoned.
"Well…..Aslan, it's just not fair! My brothers and Sister did nothing wrong. Why did you let me stay and not them? Why? I'm so lonely some days I can hardly stand it. I have Caspian, however, I can't find anyone else to get close to. You know as well as I what happened last time my judgement was clouded. Why have you allowed all of this to happen?" I cried in anguish and confusion.
Aslan looked sad, almost as if it pained him that I had to go through such things, And it hurt him that I didn't understand. His fur now rustled with the wind, adding even more realisticality to this amazing endeavor. Nevertheless, his face continued to look compassionate.
"My dear one, I gave you a choice of path, with the warning that either would lead to heartache. If you had left Narnia to never come back, you would be crying out about how you missed Caspian. My child, we all miss those that come to pass, but you must know that they have their own paths that they must follow, and some simply do not cross with ours when we want them to. Your brothers and sister have learned much here, but it was time for them to be in their own world. I know you understand this. Now, as for your judgement, you have been blessed better than most, but those will come our way that will do harm whether we do right to them or not. It is part of the deep magic of Narnia, you know what I speak of."
My shoulders slumped, knowing he was right. I had spent these many weeks blaming Aslan for all that had happened, when really, he hadn't done anything. It was just my anger clouding my judgment...again.
"Aslan, will my path cross with any of them again?"
"No one knows for certain what the future holds dear one, however, they will come when they are needed." as this was said, the painting faded and all that was left were the smiling faces of my siblings. I took one last look at them before surrendering myself to no longer being bitter.
I closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. As I did this I took to heart what Aslan had to say. I did choose my path, and I needed to follow it with all the courage that a Narnian queen should posses.
I turned toward the door, squaring my shoulders, and straightening up. I walked over to the door, and walked through it, new attitude in hand. I was ready to find where my path would take me.
Hello Guys! Thank You for reading this, as it is one of the slower chapters. I'm sorry that names were not introduced in this chapter, however I do believe that next chapter the wait will be over for the unveiling. Now, things to address. Questions that might appear: "Thaila, wasn't Susan a bit whiny in this chapter, I mean, she knew the answers the whole time. Why would she go and be so overdramatic when it was that simple?" In this chapter, I know it may seem as if Susan is being whiny, however, how many of us know the answer to a question, but continue to complain about it at one point or another? Most of us right? I wanted to convey that side of her a bit more. I think it is something that is shown in both book and movie, and it was something I wanted to bring out a bit more to make her a bit more relatable. I'm not saying y'all are a bunch of whiners, I am saying, that it is very easily to complain and not look at how to fix the situation. That was all that was intended with this chapter. I want to thank you all for reading again, and I hope to post more chapters soon!