A/N: Just to clarify, in this story Jake has never met Olivia or anyone he's associated with on the show. True feelings come out in this chapter. Please feel free to leave a review and thanks for reading.

I probably won't get to update again until Monday or Tuesday, so I apologize in advance!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from ABC's Scandal or anything/anyone else.

"Are you worried about getting caught?" Jake asked Mellie as they rode around town in his truck. He knew she was serious when she mentioned getting rid of Fitz. He would help her in any way he could, but he needed to know she wasn't afraid.

"Not at all," she said, her voice straightforward as her facial expression.

"You know how when, as a soldier, you have to kill someone and try to block it out of your mind? How you're trained to feel nothing? How you sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened, hoping that side, that former life will never come back to haunt you? That is my life, Jake. This is just one more thing to add to the list. If the world knew of the things I have seen in go on in that White House...it would never be the same," she said bluntly.

"Do you have any plan on how to do it? I guess a better question would be do you want me to help?" He asked, trying to get her to tell him something, anything about how she was going to get away with this.

"Chloroform, etorphine," she said. "Nothing painful."

"And you can get your hands on these without getting in trouble?" He asked, wanting to make sure she didn't damage her reputation.

"I can get the chloroform. Still working on the etorphine."

"Don't worry about it. Let me make a quick phone call and I can go get it ASAP," Jake said, pulling out his phone and calling a friend.

"Wait," he said, it dawning on him then. "What about cocaine?"

"What about it?" Mellie asked, still wondering how he could get ahold of these drugs.

"He took painkillers when he was shot, right?"

"Of course," she said, wondering exactly where he was going with this.

"Cocaine is also used as a numbing agent," he smiled with a look of satisfaction and discovery in his eyes as he called a friend.

"Hey, meet me in an hour. I need five doses," Jake said, hanging up.

"And you're sure you're not crazy?" Mellie asked, starting to wonder about him a little.

"I'm just helping you out. You meet all sorts of people in the Navy. I try to keep in touch with all of them. Sometimes it comes in handy," he shrugged with a smile.

Now she just had to mentally prepare herself to do this.

"Mel, if you don't think you can do this...if you don't want this burden...we'll figure something else out," Jake assured her as she sat on her bed in a daze, wondering if she could live with herself after this. She was losing faith in herself. He sat on his knees in the floor in front of her, holding her hands. He had made sure all of her cameras were off and no one could be listening to them. They couldn't risk this.

Fitz had taken everything, every part of her life away from her. Every hope and dream crushed in the blink of an eye. She had to get rid of him. She couldn't live with him any longer.

"I can do this," she said, standing up. "Just show me where I need to inject him."

Jake got up and went over to his small black duffel bag and dug around in it, pulling out a new syringe and taking his his plaid shirt off, walking over to her. Her gaze was set on his body, only until she heard him pull the cap off the needle and hand it to her. She had a look of fear in her eyes and he explained to her he wouldn't get hurt.

"It won't hurt me. I promise. I just want to show you exactly where to stick him," he said, "because you can't miss. If you miss...it's all over. And that could get messy."

Her eyes widened and he sighed.

"It's got to be right here," he said, pointing to the main vein in his neck. "By the time you get to this, he'll be passed out. He won't feel anything."

"Do you want me to actually stick you or...?" She asked, still nervous about it.

"Go ahead. It's a brand new clean needle, it's fine," he smiled a little.

She situated the needle in her handle and got it close to his neck when he stopped her abruptly.

"Mellie, stop," he said sternly. "You're shaking too much. You have to steady yourself. Take a deep breath and try again."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, calming her nerves. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want Fitz to suffer, either. She aimed for the vein with a steady hand and quickly stuck him, just looking into his eyes.

"Now pull it out," he said. She pulled it out slowly and he sighed.

"You hit the vein, which is good. Now we need to practice drawing up the dose," he said, getting a small vial of saline out of his bag.

"But aren't you going to have it already drawn up?" She asked, hoping deep down she wouldn't have to do that. She was already nervous. She would really mess it up then.

"I will. But you need to know these things for the future, in case I'm not there with you," he said. He showed her how to draw it up, make sure all the air was out of the needle, and how fast to inject it.

He put his shirt back on, unfortunate for her, and grabbed his half charged phone beside his bag.

"Look, I have to go get the cocaine. I'll be back in half an hour or less. I know you have to be there in two hours. Go ahead and start getting ready, I'll see you when I get back," he told her, grabbing his car keys.

"Ok. Thank you, Jake," she said, a feeling of relief overcoming her, like a huge pressure was lifted off her lungs so she could now breathe. "I could never repay you for this. Be safe."

"Don't worry about it. And I will," he said, going downstairs and out the door to get the drugs.

Mellie was wearing her best khakis with a white bra on and her damp brown hair resting on her shoulders as she looked through her closet for a nice shirt to wear. She had an hour left to get ready, and part of that was the mental challenge. She was not about to put on a fancy dress for a casual event, especially not for Fitz.

She heard the back door open and Jake coming up the stairs, and she grabbed a short sleeved lavender blouse and a gray sweater out of the closet.

"I'm back," Jake said, grabbing a package out of his jacket pocket. He set it on the bed and opened it, and found five vials of liquid cocaine in them. He knew this was enough to take out a roomful of people, but he only needed a little bit.

"How much do I owe you?" Mellie asked, putting her blouse on and turning her curling iron on to heat up. He watched her every move as she went to the closet and pulled out some purple heels, which was surprising to him. He didn't expect her to own every shade of shoes available.

"Don't worry about it," he said, really not wanting to take money from her. In reality, he didn't want to tell her he just dropped $5000 on this.

"Jake-"

"No," he said, taking out two needles and drawing up seven milliliters, and she gave him a concerned look.

"How much is lethal?" She asked, putting on a diamond bracelet the president of Switzerland had gotten her for her birthday last year. Her eyes were fixated on the drug, all of this slowly becoming a reality, eating away at her.

"It depends on the batch. No two batches are alike. They all are different strengths," he said, putting the vial down and the caps on the needles, setting it on the bed. "Less than this."

"How much money is that worth?" She asked again.

"Mellie, I refuse to let you pay me for this."

"I just want to know how much it is," she fought back, putting in her matching diamond earrings. He lost himself in her beauty for a moment, wishing he had more time to spend with her.

"I don't know how much my guy got it for. He just told me this was high quality stuff," he told her. "I'm leaving it right here. What else do I need to do for you?"

"Get the chloroform ready," she said, sitting down at her vanity to do her hair. "It's on the bathroom counter."

Jake walked in the bathroom and came out with a full glass bottle of chloroform and set it down on the bed, getting an empty vial out of his bag.

"Where did you get a bottle this big?" He asked casually, taking the cap off the bottle. "You know it's illegal except for doctors here in the U.S."

"Living in the White House had its perks," she smirked, brushing her hair and plugging up her hair dryer. "Funny how the Secret Service can get their hands on these things," she smiled and turned on the hair dryer.

He laughed softly and poured a small amount of the sweet smelling liquid in the vial, then capped it and set it on the bed with a cloth by the needle. He looked at his watch and knew he needed to get his gear on and be at the fire department when she leaves. His station was closest to the White House and the one to be called there in case of an emergency. This way he could keep an eye on her.

She finished drying her hair and he sat down on her soft bed, ready for this to all be over with.

"What was your excuse for the chloroform?" He questioned, wondering how she got it so easily.

"PTSD. Couldn't sleep after the shooting, sleeping pills weren't working. The doctor wouldn't do anything else, so an agent got this for me. Worked like a charm," she said, twisting a strand of hair around her hot curling iron. She began to wonder where Jake had all these connections, where he was so easily able to obtain drugs. She didn't want to get into it right now, so she decided to ask him later.

"Interesting," he sighed. "Look, I have to go get ready myself. But you call me if you have to, ok? I know you can do this. At least get to the chloroform. You can back out of the cocaine if needed. I know you can do this, Mel. I love you," Jake whispered, kissing her forehead.

She nodded and managed to whisper "I love you" back, watching him leave her house. She put on her sweater and finished her hair, ready to get this over with.

Mellie was more nervous than she'd ever been, more nervous than public speaking events made her, as she sat at the dinner table for Fitz's birthday. She was across from him, Olivia was beside him, and Cyrus, Abby, and five of his other close friends surrounded him. She might have been nervous, but she was poised on the outside.

This dinner had lasted close to two hours, and he hadn't even looked at his gifts yet. Most people wondered what to get the President, but Mellie got him a brand new Swiss watch, brown leather band and gold encrusted, his name engraved on the back - something she knew he would like and use. He loved expensive watches, but usually stuck to one when he found one he liked.

They were about to serve dessert, which would be warm apple pie - his favorite - with a side of vanilla ice cream. Something no one else at this table besides Cyrus and herself knew. That was one thing she had over Olivia, she knew Fitz like the back of her hand, what he liked and what he didn't. He hated wearing green or yellow, he got a haircut every four weeks, he would read for an hour before bed. These were the little things she would never forget about him.

She started wondering if she could do this. Could she really kill her own husband? She wasn't a crazed killer. She wasn't sure anymore. But she had to get rid of him if she wanted to be free. He hated her. After all their years of true love, as short as it was, it meant nothing to him once he met Olivia. She didn't even touch her dessert and was only brought back to earth when Fitz was about to dismiss the party.

"Well this has been wonderful, but I think I'm about to turn in for the night. It has been one eventful birthday," he laughed, looking at Olivia with a smile. Everyone else began saying their goodbyes and Mellie stayed in her seat until Cyrus was the last one and left.

"Fitz, I know I'm not your favorite person, but I was wondering if we could talk for a minute in the residence?" Mellie asked softly. He sighed under his breath and turned to Olivia.

"Give us a minute, baby?" He asked, hating to disappoint her. He was ready to open his gifts and see what she got him.

"No, of course. I have to run to the office for a minute anyway. An emergency came up, but I'll be back here afterwards, ok? I love you," she said, giving him a quick kiss and leaving. Once he heard her far enough down the hall, he turned towards Mellie, clearly not wanting to talk.

"Let's go talk, if we must," he sighed, leading them to the residence. "I don't want to do this where the staff could hear us anyway."

She sent her agent on the inside a text quickly to his burner phone, telling him to disable the cameras in the residence. To her luck and surprise, he said he cut it and the west wing cameras off hours ago to make it look like the system crashed. She thanked him and followed Fitz to their old bedroom, where he had moved Olivia in to.

"Look, if this is about Teddy, you know you can come get him tomorrow morning. No earlier-"

"It's not about Teddy," she sighed, cutting him off, wishing he wasn't always so assuming of things. "I just...I wanted to apologize for the way things went down. I never expected us to end like this...and I know it was more of a partnership than a marriage, but that spark was there. Despite our beginning, I thought we truly would be together forever," she explained. Fitz just looked at her, like what she said was stupid. He always treated her as an inferior, like she had no good things to say.

"But I know what I say doesn't matter and you love Olivia, so none of this really matters, does it?" She laughed, almost crying.

"Anyway," she reached into her purse, "here's your gift."

She pulled out a small box wrapped in light blue paper and a dark blue ribbon and handed it to him. She could tell he was surprised she had even gotten him anything. He opened the box to reveal the silver plated face and black leather banded watch and he gently took it out, taking off the watch he had on and putting on the one she got him.

"Mels...you didn't have to do this. Thank you. I love it," he said, his eyes lit up. "I really do. You know me well," he smiled.

"That's what twenty plus years does," she half laughed. He could hear the depression in her voice and hoped she really was ok. He knew he couldn't fix her now.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm sorry for the way this all happened, too. Like you said, our meeting wasn't on the best circumstances...and once you get past all that and why we got married...there was some hope there. A tiny little glimmer of hope and love for a while, and then my father assaulted you and didn't help anything and I'm sorry, Mels. I am terribly sorry for screwing up your life," he said, tears in his eyes. "I know we aren't on great terms and you're right, I am madly in love with Olivia. But it doesn't run deep like our love did. It will eventually falter out. But I already messed up, so there's no going back. Make that two lives I've ruined. So I am sorrier than you could ever imagine," he said, exhaling sharply. "I should've never walked into that strip club. We never would've met. You would've finished school and gone on to be the best damn lawyer in Tennessee or wherever you would've ended up. You could have been somebody, and I mean truly made a name for yourself, a name that meant something, if I had never met you."

"I don't regret our time together, though. We had a good run," she said, feeling sick to her stomach. Here she was ready to kill him and he was sincerely apologizing for his mistakes. She didn't know what to do. But then she remembered every time he was never there for her, every time he yelled at her for no reason, blew her off, got drunk out of sadness, came to her for make up sex or when he was upset with Olivia, lied, cheated, the list goes on and on. He could never apologize for everything, and he was right; he couldn't fix anything now. He was in too deep.

"We did," he sighed with a smile. He took off his shoes and belt and threw them on the bed, not noticing her purse sitting there. "Some birthday this has been," he laughed. "I remember every birthday I spent with you. We would celebrate all day long. Birthday morning sex, then pancakes for breakfast with the strawberry syrup, then off to work. Somehow you would manage to make the best apple pie in the entire world without me knowing, and we would go out to eat and come back for dessert. Although the pie wasn't always the first dessert we had," he laughed. "The pie tonight was nothing compared to yours."

"Please, I bet the chefs here make way better pie than I do," she laughed.

"It wasn't even close," he said, rolling up his sleeves. She saw the gleam in his slate gray eyes and knew he had sex on his mind as he inched his way closer to her. She only hoped he couldn't her how loud her heart was beating.

"I know you don't care about mine and Olivia's sex life," he said, running his fingers through his hair, "but to be honest, she is nothing compared to you. She may be young, but she doesn't have your experience, your energy, your drive," he whispered, staring into her big blue eyes, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know whether to be happy he was interested or freaked out. Was this a dream?

"She doesn't like it rough like you do," he whispered, and Mellie felt her legs getting weak. He always managed to catch her off guard. "She can't handle me like you do."

"She doesn't scream my name like you do," he said, backing her up against the wall by his bed. His body was almost pressed to hers, and he saw the fear in her eyes.

"She doesn't call me Daddy like you do," he whispered in her ear, and she melted. She was done. He would take her as she was, and she would never get to kill him. She knew he would do as he wanted and she wouldn't have a say.

He leaned down and kissed her deeply, gripping her side with his left hand and her ass with his right hand, trying to convince her to sleep with him. She wanted to so badly, no one else knew her like he did and could measure up, but she had to stay focused. He held her close, her body now pinned to the wall under his.

"Fitz..." She whispered, closing her eyes. "I can't...we can't do this."

"Yes, we can," he assured her, sliding his hands up her shirt and tracing patterns with his fingers along her sides.

"I just..." She managed to get out from under him and sit on the bed, hoping this was her chance.

"What?" He asked annoyedly, sitting beside her.

"I just don't want this to be meaningless. I don't want to be your rebound, for you to go back to her in an hour or so and..." She sighed, still trying to figure out what to do.

"Mellie, you have never been meaningless to me," he sighed. "Let's just take it slow, ok? Just like we used to."

"Let me just put on some perfume first," she said, digging through her purse. He couldn't help but smile; he knew how she liked fancy oils when they had sex. She liked the way they smelled, and she knew they turned him on. She pulled out the small vial of chloroform and uncapped it, pretending to smell it.

"Smell it, it's something new I got the other day," she said, holding the vial up to his nose.

"That is nice," he said, admiring her new perfume.

"I liked the strawberries and the citrus," She said, letting him smell it again. He sniffed it a few more times, trying to smell the fruits.

"The citrus is prominent, but I don't smell much on the berries," he said, smelling it one last time. She took it back and dabbed a little on her neck, then putting it back in her purse. He looked confused as his eyelids drooped and he shook his head in confusion.

"You ok?" She asked, acting concerned.

"I feel kind of of dizzy," he said, holding on to the bed. "I don't know what it could be. You know, this happened last time I flew more than ten hours now that I think about it. I was messed up for days."

"That's strange," she said. "I'll get you some water, maybe you'll feel better." She got up and went into the master bathroom to get him a glass of water. She came back and found him passed out on the bed. She drank the water and crumpled up the paper cup, throwing it in her purse. She grabbed her latex gloves out of her purse, along with the cocaine. She put on the gloves and turned him on his side after making sure he was totally out of it. She drew up the cocaine and took a deep breath, hitting the vein perfectly. She injected him quickly and pulled the needle out, setting it and the vial on his bedside table. She threw her gloves into her purse and gathered her things, but turned around and looked him over one last time. She scoffed at his disgusted face and rolled her eyes.

"I will see you on the other side, Fitzgerald...in hell."

She tried to keep her heels quiet as she left, but she was more worried someone would hear her heart about to beat out of her chest. She didn't know if she could live with herself now. She had just shot her ex-husband up with cocaine. She took a deep breath and acted normal as she left, knowing she couldn't mess this up. She couldn't make a suspect of herself.

She walked out the security gates and to her car with Will, and drove straight to her house where Jake was waiting to hear all about her night.