Author's note: I do believe this is the first time I have a wedding. Huh.

'Suck it in! No, more! Suck. It. In!' Ginny violently pulled at Hermione's dress, almost cracking Hermione's ribs and making the seams give dangerously.

'Careful with that!' Hermione objected. 'It won't do to tear it.' She tried to adjust the dress, but it was sort of difficult with Ginny "helping" like this.

'What's happening?' Hermione's mother asked as she entered the room. She was early. Why was she early? And why was her timing so impeccable that she chose to show up just as Hermione didn't fit into her dress?

Hermione desperately tried to signal to Ginny to shut up, but Ginny was too frustrated to notice. 'We had this dress fitted just a few days ago, and now she can't get into it! What on earth have you been eating, Hermione?'

Hermione's mother opened her mouth, but Hermione hurriedly said, 'No, Mum. I'm not. A few days, remember? It doesn't go that fast.'

Her mother smiled. 'Oh, with the cravings and such, it could.'

The only thing Hermione craved right now was for this to be over. 'I think we put it on wrong,' she told Ginny. 'It feels like maybe something got stuck.'

'Here let me.' Her mother got down on her knees, reached up under Hermione's dress and tugged at the flimsy slip underneath. Hermione felt something give, and suddenly she could breathe again. And after Ginny had stopped tugging and had actually zipped the dress, Hermione could breathe comfortably again.

'Crisis averted!' Ginny triumphantly announced.

Hermione shot her a dark look. If her mother hadn't arrived, then they'd have had a much larger crisis to avert, since Ginny would've suffocated her in her attempt to stuff her down this thing.

'Something's off,' Hermione's mother said. 'Look at this crease here,' she pointed at a spot at Hermione's side, which Hermione couldn't see without twisting awkwardly.

'Stand still!' Ginny reprimanded. 'Yes, I see it. I'm sure that wasn't there before either. It's like it's actually a little loose now. It must be a seam on the inside'

'No one will notice,' Hermione said. 'It's fine.'

'I noticed it, didn't I?' her mother sharply responded. 'If someone will get me a needle and some thread, I'll fix it in a jiffy.'

'No need for that,' Ginny said, pulling out her wand. 'I'll fix it.'

Hermione's eyes widened. 'No, do- nngghh!' She gasped as the dress began tightening painfully around her midriff.

'Stop that!' her mother said, pushing Ginny aside. 'Make it the right size again and get me a needle.'

Looking slightly abashed, Ginny complied, muttering something about how it had worked the last time. Hermione very much doubted it had and happily stripped out of the top part of the dress so her mother could fix the detail for her.

'This really is a lovely dress,' her mother said, carefully getting to her feet again after the quick mend and smoothing over the front of the dress, doing minor adjustments.

'There have to be some perks to marrying a rich git,' Ginny commented.

Hermione groaned. 'Ginny...'

'Sorry!' Ginny held up her hands, palms outwards. 'Sorry. It just slipped out. I'm happy for you. Really, I am. I mean, I don't know what kind of man he's grown into, but he must be something special for you to fall arse over elbows for him like this. And anyone who can draw you out of your shell can only be good for you in my book.'

Hermione wrinkled her nose, ignoring her mother telling her not to do that because she'd get permanent creases. 'Shell? What do you mean shell? I don't have a shell. I have a very active social life.'

'You do have a shell, dear,' her mother said.

'See? Even your mother agrees.' Ginny shook her head. 'I don't think you've been out with a single wizard since you broke it off with Ron. Apart from Malfoy, I mean. And heaven knows how that happened.'

'But I was trying to figure out what I wanted!'

'And you found it, so that's all settled,' her mother interjected. 'I'm really looking forward to meeting this young man.'

'What... you didn't even introduce him to your mother yet?' Ginny asked, aghast.

Hermione flinched. 'We've been pressed for time...'

'That's another thing, what's the great rush? What happened to taking it slow?' Ginny frowned. 'Something's fishy here.'

Hermione sent a tired glance in her mother's direction and once again preemptively said, 'Not pregnant. We just... wanted to be married. But sneaking off would send the wrong signal on his end, so I refused to do that and... here we are.'

'What kind of signal would that be?' her mother asked, puzzled.

'Uh-oh,' Ginny said. 'You didn't even tell her that part?'

Hermione avoided Ginny's eyes. 'I'm marrying him. I didn't want...'

Ginny sighed and grabbed Hermione's mother's arm. 'Here, Mrs Granger, I'll fill you in. Just remember that it's all in the past, and your daughter has impeccable judgement.'

Impeccable judgement, indeed. Suddenly Hermione found herself alone in a dress she was afraid to sit down in without help because she might wrinkle it before the ceremony.

The ceremony. Ugh.

At least there hadn't been a rehearsal dinner. Harry had tried to make her arrange one, but Hermione had put her foot down. Malfoy's family wasn't around to arrange it as was custom, and she was tired and stressed out and she hated having her parents get too involved in this.

Tomorrow morning they would leave for their honeymoon, and then the true wait could finally begin. It was all set up and she would be the bait. It was always fun to wait around for someone to come and kill you. At least she got a free holiday out of it. That, and hopefully some justice. But maybe she should take a leave from work afterwards to recover from all this stress. She was beginning to feel the reality of the situation.

She heard someone open and close the door and then turn the lock.

She laughed and began turning around. 'That's really not necess- Malfoy! What are you doing here? Get out before someone sees you!'

He held his hands up as if to placate her. 'I saw the Weasley and that other woman leave, and I just... I have to talk to you!' He began pacing.

Sighing, Hermione forgot all about wrinkling the dress and plonked down in a chair. 'What is it?'

'This whole... thing... it's making me uncomfortable!' He was pulling at his collar as if it were strangling him. 'That's almost everyone I know out there, Granger. They'll be watching me... us... and...' He shook his head. 'Why do it this way? Why couldn't we be more... subtle about it?'

Hermione looked at him for a long time. 'You're not wearing robes,' she then finally said, lacking anything else to say.

'Huh?' He looked down himself, like he was surprised to hear that. 'Oh. Yeah. Seemed like a good idea at the time. I wanted to match you. But it's still a little robe-like, isn't it? Best of both worlds. I like trousers. They don't get caught on things.' He was babbling.

Hermione almost rubbed her eyes but then remembered the make-up she was wearing. What a bother. 'Where's your best man?' she asked. 'Can't you vent your nerves at him?'

'Best man?' he muttered. 'Well, he's busy, isn't he? Besides, I don't think I can really talk to him.'

'What on earth would he be doing if not calming you?'

He stopped and glanced at her. 'Potter asked to be appointed. Said he'd have an easier time keeping an eye on the guests. And I suppose it might make sense that if I were marrying you, I'd choose to show my goodwill by choosing him as best man. He's off organising security, though. And I'm... mostly brushing my teeth because I vomited earlier and I can't stop feeling gross.'

Hermione wrinkled her nose. 'Ew. And thanks. Always good to know that the thought of a wedding to me makes you feel so good.'

He began pacing again. 'I don't think it's you. I just... don't like it. The thought of standing up there and making those vows makes me sweaty and gives me the chills at the same time.'

'The vows are not real, Malfoy.'

'I know they're not real! But everyone will look at us and think they are, and I have to act like they are and... this whole thing... it's so pervasive that... it... it... I don't even know.'

'It feels real?'

'In an unreal way.'

'Yes, you certainly are making sense now, Malfoy.'

'The marriage isn't real, but the wedding is, isn't it? Even if the vows aren't binding, the whole thing is still as real as it gets. They're all celebrating us, Granger. Why do we have to do this?'

'Calm down, Malfoy. It'll all be over soon. We'll retire early from the party and leave tomorrow morning, and by the time we get back, I'm sure Harry will have found a way to let everyone know about the scheme.'

'That doesn't help me now!'

Hermione sighed and rubbed her forehead. 'Don't you have some friend who can entertain you until this thing starts? Sounds like you could use a bit of a distraction.'

'No... No friend.'

She scowled at him. 'Now is not the time to shut people out just because you hate what they think, Malfoy.'

'No, I know... I'm just a little short on friends. I don't really know what I would talk to any of the wizards I know about.'

'Grand. And I'm sure it would be the same if you marry that French witch, right?' Hermione sarcastically said.

Malfoy shrugged. 'I'd make her brother my best man to further the ties. He seems all right. But as far as I know, you don't have a brother, and I really wouldn't know what to talk to a Muggle about, no offence.'

'What about Pansy?'

'What about her?'

'You invited her, right?'

'Yeah...' He laughed a bit nervously. 'She should be down there somewhere, possibly taking bets on whether this will happen or one of us will run away screaming.'

'Why don't you have her brought up to talk to?' Hermione suggested. Hopefully, talking to a friend would calm Malfoy enough that he would be able to go through with this and wouldn't vomit on the guests.

'She's a witch, Granger.'

'So? We're modern people. I wouldn't mind my fiancé having a witch as his best friend, soothing his nerves.'

'She's also my ex-fiancée.'

Hermione waved a hand. 'Years in the past.'

Malfoy scoffed at that. 'You wouldn't be so accepting if it were real.'

'I would too! I would trust my husband-to-be implicitly!' At least she hoped she would.

'Right. Of course you would.'

'And,' she stated whilst getting to her feet again, 'I would also want him to get out and leave me alone to get dressed!'

'You're not exactly naked, Granger. I think I would've noticed.'

'But I'm not done either, and my mother and Ginny will be back any moment so shoo!' She stepped forwards, shooing him towards the door.

'What if I just claim that I missed you?'

'Won't work. Go away.'

'You look really pretty in that dress.'

'Won't work either.'

'Come on, Granger. I go nuts when I'm all alone over there.'

'I told you already - get Parkinson!'

'People will talk.'

'Let them talk. Maybe we can teach them something about trust!' She leant around him and unlocked the door. 'Out!'

He sent her a forlorn look, but finally did as she asked. Hermione breathed her relief and went back to the business of staring at herself in a mirror.

It was only a few minutes before her mother and Ginny returned. 'Where were we...' her mother began. 'Something old, something new, something borrowed - here, have my earrings, they go perfectly with the pearls - something blue. All set.'

'Everything all right, Mum?' Hermione couldn't help but ask.

Her mother briskly nodded. 'Don't worry about it. Obviously, the boy grew up. His parents, on the other hand... I simply don't understand. It's perhaps fortunate that we won't have to meet them today.'

Hermione found that very fortunate as well.

'What am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing?' Draco groaned, rocking back and forth with his face in his hands. He had no idea why he was suddenly panicking like this - in fact, nobody was more surprised than him - but all of a sudden, this wedding seemed almost like an insurmountable task.

'You're getting married, it would seem,' Pansy's cool voice replied. 'Although why, I'm not so sure.'

'Because... it's the thing to do, right?' It was hard to evade Pansy's questions when his mind was busy re-running the same disastrous thoughts over and over again for maximum fear.

'Why did you ask me to come up here? I'm not so sure your bride will like it if she hears about it.'

'She was the one who suggested it,' he muttered. 'To get rid of me. Something about getting dressed, although she was quite clearly already dressed.'

Pansy stared at him. 'You saw her? That's bad luck, Draco. Very bad luck. Now it won't end well.'

He slowly removed his hands from his face. 'With the general odds of this marriage working out, you base your prognosis on the fact that I saw her today? That's... special.'

'Oh, shut up, Draco.' She pouted. 'Are you sure you told her about us? It wouldn't do to get you in trouble already.'

'Yes, she knows about us. She merely doesn't care. Am I not lucky?' He didn't quite realise how that sounded until it was out, and then he had to bite his lip not to curse at his own mistake. He'd merely been feeling annoyed that she wouldn't even pretend to care, but he was sure Pansy would read it differently.

Pansy's face softened. Lovely. At least she now seemed to believe he fancied Granger. 'Maybe she just trusts you.'

'Why would she trust me?'

'Um, I don't know, because she's marrying you?'

'There was a time when I was going to marry you!'

'But we never quite made it this far, did we, Draco?'

'No! We didn't! Because I... because I couldn't be trusted.' He buried his face in his hands again, feeling extra stressed over bringing up unpleasant memories. Then he tried to explain away his reaction. 'She doesn't know that part; maybe that's why she trusts you here.'

'It doesn't really matter what you did and didn't do back then. What matters is how you treat her. I'm quite certain you learnt your lesson with regards to certain things.' Pansy put her hand on Draco's shoulder. 'It will be all right.'

'I hate how everyone looks at us. They stare and whisper. It was kind of funny before, but not today. She doesn't really know, because she's been shut away, but I've been out a little... they're just here to gawk, aren't they?'

'It doesn't matter what everyone thinks or even why they're here. You should learn to ignore others. You should be marrying the witch you want to spend the rest of your life with in a very short time, isn't that what counts?'

Draco just barely suppressed a snort and was unable to hold back a wrinkled nose. 'Yeah...'

Pansy shook her head. 'People won't care for long. And some even find your story to be quite cute, even if I personally don't understand some of the holes in it.'

Draco shrugged, not willing to fill more of those holes with lies right now. 'Stand with me out there?'

'Certainly not! You have your best man, don't you?'

'But I want you there,' Draco whinged. 'Gra- ah, Hermione won't care. She said we were modern people.'

'Not that modern,' Pansy said. 'Really, Draco. Asking your ex-fiancée to stand with you is just not done.'

'But you're the only one here I like.'

'Apart from her, I should hope.'

Draco made a weak wave. 'You know what I mean.'

'Hmm. Isn't it time for you to get out there?'

'Can't I just... sign some papers in here and then move on to the party?'

'Coward.'

'Yes.'

'Get out there!'

He sighed and got to his feet. 'Is there still time to get drunk?'

'Go!'

He was very glad he wasn't really getting married if this was how women treated married men by default.

Hermione didn't know where all the time went, because suddenly she was ushered by everyone to get ready and get out there. People were checking her hair and her dress and her shoes and her gloves and her... everything.

Heaven forbid that anything should be even slightly off.

And then, suddenly, she was walking on her father's arm. She did her best to look around at people and smile and very much wished she'd opted for a veil. She didn't feel like smiling. Her father would proudly be giving her away without even knowing it was all a scam. She hated doing this to him. At least Malfoy looked positively ill as he was waiting for her and unsubtly sending Pansy Parkinson helpless glances down in the crowd. Hermione had half thought he'd ask Parkinson to stand with him, but maybe he hadn't found that appropriate for the occasion.

Finally shuffled into place, she barely noticed what the...- minister? She wasn't even sure what he was - was saying. Something or other about love, honour and cherish. The words were a bit hard to stomach, everything considered. She just wanted this part to be over.

It wouldn't be a long ceremony. She had specifically asked that it be kept to a minimum, because she didn't want to stand there on the spot for longer than she had to, and right now she was counting the seconds until she could stop pretending, or at the very least stop being the center of everyone's attention.

The right answers were eventually given, although Malfoy hesitated just long enough to make Hermione nervous that he was going to bolt and leave everyone hanging. And then... the final part, the kiss. Hermione just stared for a second after it was announced. She'd completely forgotten that there would be a public kiss. But then she forced herself to smile and turned to receive the brief caress from Malfoy's cold, dry lips.

He seemed about as comfortable with this as she was.

But then it was done. It was over. Now they only had to survive the party, and then they didn't have to look anyone they knew in the eyes until it was time for the truth.

Oh, yay. The truth. That would be fun.

She glanced at Malfoy. He looked as frozen as his lips had felt. 'Look happy,' she hissed.

He gave a pained smile that only made him look constipated. 'This is over soon, right?'

'Of course... sometime after it gets dark...'

His hand tightened on her elbow. Funny, she hadn't even noticed he was holding onto it before. 'Before dark. Promise me.'

'Afraid of the dark now, Malfoy?'

'I'll vomit again and withdraw immediately if you don't say yes.'

She tried very hard not to roll her eyes. Someone might notice. 'All right. But in that case, you'll have to try even harder to look like you're in love and can't bear to share me.'

'Will "in lust" do?'

'I guess it'll have to, won't it?'

This time his grin looked more normal. 'Then we have a deal.'

Draco did everything that he thought he was supposed to do, but he hated every second of it and had a surprisingly hard time hiding that fact. He didn't want to meet Granger's parents. He didn't want to spend half an hour talking to her father. Yet, somehow, he had to do both those things, and he'd spent several minutes politely nodding along to Granger's father's jovial chatting before Granger's mother interfered, revealing that Muggles didn't actually fly around with this thing called "jet packs" on their backs, and it certainly wasn't legal for a man to kill his daughter's husband if he wasn't to his liking.

At least that last thing was good. Draco didn't fancy getting killed before the plan that was causing him so much discomfort could come to fruition.

Pretending to be in lust wasn't hard. He was in lust. True, the dress Granger was wearing was modest enough to make her look the epitome of chastity, but that innocent picture combined with the memory of kissing her against a wall, touching her intimately, only made things exciting. So now he had a fun new game - looking. The looking was fun in itself, but the real goal was to make Granger react to it. Preferably blush and act flustered.

One perk of his game was that it passed time quicker. Another perk was that people seemed to take it to mean that he had true feelings for Granger. How superficial they all were to mistake lust for deeper feelings. But the best perk was how it made Granger uncomfortable and how she more than once hissed at him to tone it down or she would do something or other to him. As the day progressed, her threats even became more and more inventive, eventually involving very dull objects around his private parts.

He had no intentions of toning it down, however. He wanted to see if he could make that blush go all the way down to her neckline.

And then he wanted to follow the blush down below the neckline and have a taste of being married to Hermione Granger. Because that was a state that definitely lacked perks so far.

He was currently intensely staring at her as she was standing with her back to him. She was wearing a comb of blue roses in her hair to match the wreath of blue roses outlining her waist. It was lovely; enhancing the innocent image - but he knew better than to believe in her innocence. She was passionate, manipulative and vindictive. All things he greatly admired in a witch, and all things that were the complete opposite of innocent. She'd pushed back her hair on one side so he could clearly see her bare neck. He had some fun picking out the spots he wanted to nibble and trying to imagine how she would react to it. She turned slightly and glanced over her shoulder, frowning briefly at him. She could feel him watching, then. That didn't cause him to back off or become less conspicuous; rather he watched her even more intensely. Let her be the uncomfortable one for once.

'I still can't figure out why you're marrying her,' Pansy said as she materialised next to him.

'I want her,' he simply replied. It was the overly simple truth, after all.

'That's not reason enough to get married.'

'She's also very clever, very pretty, and very popular and well-connected. If you disregard her unfortunate blood, she's a very good match.' He blinked as he realised his reasoning made sense. Funny. He'd never actually thought of Granger that way before. But it was true. If one were to ignore old conventions, she would possibly be one of the best matches he could possibly find, as far as society went.

Pansy gave an exaggerated sigh. 'Don't tell me that this is another match made with your head. You know that won't work, Draco.'

'How do you know that's not what she wants too?' he asked, feeling rather defensive. He didn't know if there was still some latent resentment on Pansy's end from how he'd destroyed their relationship, but she tended to always poke fun at his relationship decisions and it was a sore spot for him.

'I've met her,' she coolly replied. 'She does everything with her heart. And she usually gets away with it too. That's why she's so incredibly annoying and why I can't stand her.'

'That's my wife you're talking about.' He grabbed a drink from a tray and took a sip, feeling like maybe drinking was a good idea.

'I'm allowed not to like her,' Pansy insisted. 'She just married my ex. But, seriously, Draco... Did you mislead her?'

'No. Never. She knows exactly how I feel about her. She has her own reasons for wanting this marriage. Heck, I think she wants it more than I do.' Draco mentally patted himself on the back for sticking exactly to the truth.

'Hm. Something is off.' Pansy pursed her lips. 'What are her reasons?'

Draco groaned. 'Enough with the interrogation, Pansy! We're married now and you'll just have to accept it!' At least for a week or so.

Pansy lifted her hands in surrender. 'All right,' she said. 'I won't keep you any longer.' And then she was gone, leaving to ogle his bride in peace for a moment before someone else noticed he was alone and open for bugging.