"Ms. Walker? Ichigo just triggered his panic beacon." Slag. Just once, I'd like Halley to give me good news.

I issued a quantum entanglement communicator to each of my disciples for emergency use. Sure, it could be trouble if somebody sciency gets their greasy mitts on it, but I thought the risk was worth it for impossible to jam distress signals and a way to set meetings without making my safe house traceable. Knowing Ichigo, though, he wouldn't use his distress beacon unless he was really in trouble.

"Tatsuki, Orihime! We're leaving in five!" I rapped my metal fist against the door of their shared room, "Ichigo just sent us an SOS. I'll do the heavy lifting if the hostiles are still around. Orihime, you're on medical duty. Tatsuki, slag anybody who tries to get clever and gank the cleric. Don't attract attention to yourselves. That's my job. Get Ichigo, and get to safety. I'll comm when it's safe. Move it!"

The girls were ready in three, in the reinforced street clothes and flak vests I provided for emergencies. After the third expensive car went AWOL people stopped parking on this block, but fortunately Ichigo was close enough for the Orihime force field taxi. We hopped on the indestructo-triangle, and she took us there in a single hop. When we got there, I was thrilled to learn that my own training was paying off. Never stop learning.

After a few harrowing Hollow encounters, I decided I was tired of fighting invisible things and asked Rukia if she could teach me how to see them. Turned out she could. Happy days.

We hit the ground and the girls made themselves scarce behind a nearby hedge. Air magic's good at sound, so the two void-suckers I caught a glimpse of wouldn't hear them coming. My job was to keep them from being seen while they extracted the injured, and assuming Ichigo was still standing help him win. And if he wasn't…

A few more corpses in the river wouldn't mean much to me.

I jogged around the block and beheld Ichigo in his Soul Reaper form squaring off with a couple of people. This wierdo redhead who thought tattoos were an acceptable substitute for eyebrows with a saw-toothed sword, and a spectacularly androgynous person with these ugly hair thingies and a white coat. Both of them were wearing Soul Reaper outfits and carrying katana sheathes. Girlmangirl had a sword in his. The browless wonder's sheathe was empty, but he didn't have a sword that matched up with it. Two words, idiot. Matching. Accessories.

"Hey, is this the weaboo club?" I quipped as I clanked and hissed up to stand at Ichigo's right. My armor is many things, but even if I didn't have the power assist active it clanks like a sack of coins. The hydraulics and servos add quite a bit more noise. "I know I'm a bit late, and I look way too cool to be in your club, but please don't hold it against me." The redhead's nonexistent eyebrows twitched in irritation, but the man-woman barely spared me a glance.

"Another insect crawls from the woodwork," He muttered, sounding very bored and very baritone. Guess it is a guy. A girly, girly guy. "Exterminate her, too, Renji. If you can."

"Hah, a loser Soul Reaper who doesn't even know his sword's name and some idiot with barely enough reiryoku to be a shaman?" The browless dude, apparently named Renji, bragged. "No problem! This'll be over in five minutes!"

"So he named his sword? What, does he think he's King Arthur or something?" I asked Ichigo, "Because nobody here is that awesome. Except me."

"No, it's some kind of technique," Ichigo informed me, "He shouted the name of his katana, and it changed shape. He got a lot faster and stronger, and it's a snake sword now." It's a snake sword? This is gonna be funny.

"Oh, is that all?" I grinned, stepping to the fore and placing a hand on my sword. Inside my billowing, green cloak I summoned lightning magic in preparation for my next trick. Bluffing time! "Anybody can do that!"

"You? Release a Zanpakuto?" Scoffed Renji, "You're just a shaman! You couldn't if you tried!"

"Good thing I'm not a shaman, then," I informed him, "Ordinarily I'd kill you for being so rude, but since this is a first offence I think I'll let it slide. I am a wizard!" Shaman, really? That's like telling somebody with three PhDs that all her degrees were earned by her past lives.

"That doesn't make you any less human."

"Oh yeah? Well, check this!" I channeled the lightning into my arming sword and drew it, sending a pair of electric dragons swirling around the blade as I flourished it into a high guard. "RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!"

Ichigo facepalmed vigorously. Back in a nearby hedge, Tatsuki clapped a hand over Orihime's mouth to cover her gasp of awe. The guy bleeding out to our left (when did he get here?) moaned piteously. But Rukia, Renji, and pretty boy ate it up.

Pretty boy's eyes widened a fraction, and his mouth opened a bit. Talk about an ice princess. Renji and Rukia weren't nearly so restrained. You could've landed a fighter jet on their tongues.

"This foe is beyond you, Renji," Pretty boy stated, "Kill the boy. I will deal with her."

"Hell no!" Blustered the enemy redhead, "Her reiatsu didn't increase at all! She's just bluffing!" Putting action to words, he extended his personal version of the least practical sword ever and sent it whistling at me. I adjusted my guard slightly, steel met very electric steel, and the discharge fused all the little wires in Renji's weapon into a solid mass. It also blew his sandals off, put all his hair standing on end, and laid him out in a twitching, smoking heap. For a moment I thought I'd killed him just like that, but then he groaned, blood trickling from his ears and eyes.

I responded by shaping more lightning dragons. "Let the dragons consume you!" I shouted in a cheesy, very fake Japanese accent. Unfortunately, coat guy didn't seem intimidated by how I one-shotted his minion. It's never that easy.

Especially with what he was planning. This was gonna look awesome from the outside. But on the inside, it was gonna suck. Coat guy vanished just like Yoruichi did. He was way faster than me. But he had nothing on Streaky the Super Cat.

In the time it took him to cover the thirty or so meters between us, I took a half back. Then he hit me like a freight train. Even with my armor enhancement, I staggered a few steps back, and a couple of my ribs cracked from the sheer force behind his blow. But, his sword's tang snapped like a dry twig under the impact. Bits of hilt went flying everywhere, and the blade itself wound up sunk ten centimeters into a nearby stone fence. Unenhanced, steel blade? Meet titanium battleplate. This is why people with super speed and strength don't use ordinary swords. If you're cutting anything tougher than the average person's flesh, it'll break for sure.

That certainly got through ice princess' façade of stoicism. While he was busy gaping in shock, I took the opportunity to stick him in the guts and discharge both dragons. This failed to take the fight out of him, so I popped my prosthetic's knuckle blades and went for the throat. He held me off one-handed (so unfair!), and pushed me away. I kept a firm grip on my sword, though, so when I stumbled back it came too and he started bleeding profusely from his gut wound.

Then he nailed me in the chest with this energy beam spell. I saw it coming, but couldn't dodge. Even if I stopped time and moved aside, he was fast enough to adjust, and I couldn't hold the stop long enough to reach cover. My armor held, but the bastard hit me right over my cracked ribs, and I whited out for like a second. And he went for Ichigo! Slag!

I tried to intercept, but broken ribs are not conducive to distance running. Ice princess retrieved the sharpest piece of his sword, shivved Ichigo in the chest with it, grabbed Rukia and his smoldering minion, and booked. Slag, slag, slag!

Well, at least nobody died. Speaking of which, "Orihime! Tatsuki! They fell back! And we could really use some medical attention here. Ichigo and bleeding guy first. Unless I start coughing up blood or something, my ribs will keep."

"O-okay! Oh my gosh! Ichigo and Uryuu!" Orihime dashed from hiding, and shrouded them in her healing field while Tatsuki trotted over to me.

"Those guys just kidnapped Rukia! Right off the street!" Tatsuki vented, "I couldn't see the tall one move at all. Ugh, I would have been dead weight. Damn it."

"Hey, a few weeks ago you wouldn't have seen him at all," I pointed out, "Keep it in perspective, kid. If you lose your nerve you'll be no use on the rescue mission."

"Rescue- Of course I'm going on the rescue mission. They just attacked my best friend and two of my classmates," Growled the girl, slamming her fist into her palm with a hollow 'boom'. "They need a good ass-kicking!"

"But how do we find them? They're so fast, they could be anywhere by now!" Orihime pointed out, "Like Cambodia! Or Croatia! Or Canada! In the strategic maple syrup reserve, with an army of evil maple Ent bodyguards!"

"Anything's possible," I acknowledged, as Orihime started work on my ribs. So good to have a healer on the team. "We're gonna need more intel. I'll have Halley feel around the interwebs, but I'm not sure how much she'll be able to find. She doesn't have any spirit power, so she can't see these guys without infrared scanners. Anyone has any ideas, feel free to share them."

"You could ask nicely?" All of us who were upright, me, Tatsuki, and Orihime, whirled and presented various weapons and spells. This scraggly guy in a striped hat and a set of wooden clogs raised his hands defensively at the display of hostility. "Hey, hey, I'm not here to fight. I'm here to help. You see, I just happen to have a portal to the Soul Society, the place where souls go when they die. The place official Soul Reapers live when they aren't on duty. It'll take some time to set up, but that's okay. We'll need the time to get Ichigo his Soul Reaper powers back. You'll need him at full strength if you want to pull this off."

Then Ichigo sat up behind us, moving kinda stiffly but without leaking. Orihime does good work. I almost forgive her for being prettier than me. "What do you mean, regain my powers?" He growled, "I don't feel any different." He didn't look different, either. Same dorky Soul Reaper uniform, same oversized sword, same scowl.

"Wha- But- That shouldn't be possible!" Hat and clogs guy protested, "He was hit in his Soul Chain and Soul's Sleep, the physical seats of his power! That should have completely removed his Soul Reaper abilities."

"Orihime's an awesome healer," I told him, "And hey, maybe ice princess made a mistake. He can't be as accurate holding the blade as with the hilt."

"…Ice princess," Hat and clogs guy snorted in amusement, "That was Captain Kuchiki Byakuya. And while that's not a bad nickname for him, it wouldn't do to underestimate him. Captain-level Soul Reapers seal away nine-tenths of their power when they visit the world of the living so they don't accidentally give humans powers." Holy moley. "And he never released his Zanpakuto. Never had the chance. How did you do break it so easily, anyway?"

"I didn't do scrap. He hit magical super-metal with a thin, steel blade at very high speed," I pointed out the obvious, "Even if he was reinforcing it with magic or something, there's a certain point where physics takes over. And I don't believe we ever caught your name. Or why we should trust or even believe anything you say."

"Oh, I'm Urahara Kisuke," the guy shared breezily, "I run a little candy store called Urahara Shoten."

"He also supplied Rukia with all her Soul Reaper tools," Ichigo added, "I think we can trust him to be able to do what he says he can. His motives, not so much, but can we afford to be picky?" Unfortunately, no.

"Alright," I decided, "For lack of any other options, we'll trust you for now. In the mean-time, we're gonna need to train. All three of you. If that guy was at one-tenth strength, we'll need all the skill we can get."

"About that," Urahara cut in, "Might I make a suggestion? I have this giant, underground training center you could use without worrying about collateral damage. And you've done quite well for him so far, but you have to admit that you don't know much about Soul Reapers and their powers. Although you seem able to fake it well."

"Fair enough," I conceded, "You saying you do?"

"Sure. Well, myself and an old friend of yours," Urahara stated cheerfully. It's gonna be Streaky, isn't it?

"Hey, hey! What about Ishida?" Ichigo brought up, motioning to the guy who was bleeding out earlier.

"What about me, Soul Reaper?" The guy scoffed, adjusting his glasses in that special weaboo way that catches the light, "I'm coming along."

"Like slag you are," I informed him, "You're even more of a loose cannon than I am. Somehow. The only reason I didn't hunt you down after that little hissy fit of yours with the Hollow bait is that Ichigo seems to think you have uses beyond converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. Only I am allowed to try to kill my disciples! Everybody else better get in line!" Ishida and Urahara both stared at me like they couldn't tell if I was joking or not. My loyal disciples took it in stride, which is why they get to live.

"Feh. Anything Kurosaki can do, I can do better," Ishida asserted.

"You have any siblings?"

"Uh, no?"

"Then you'll never be a better brother than him. Boom! Headshot!" I made a little finger gun, and mimed firing it at his face, "Now scram. The adults are talking."

"Actually, we could use some cannon fodder," Ichigo suggested with a sly smile, "And he isn't completely useless in a fight."

"He's awfully skinny," I dissented, "How many bullets could he really stop?"

"Soul Reapers don't use guns," Ichigo replied, "And even somebody that skinny is worth a sword or two. And that bow of his is really good for small fry."

"Why you!" Ishida mastered his temper with great difficulty. But he did. "You say that now, but you'll be singing a different tune when I defeat more Soul Reapers than you."

"Who cares about that?" Ichigo shot back, "This is a rescue mission! As long as Rukia gets home safe, you can fight as many Soul Reapers as you want."

"So you're admitting defeat already?" Uryuu did his stupid Ikari-Gendo-glasses thing.

"Why you-" Ichigo got right up in the idiot's face.

"Aaand kiss!" I shouted at them, giving both a thumbs up. Tatsuki endorsed the sentiment with a hearty cheer while Orihime blushed bright red and started worrying at her lower lip with her teeth. Ichigo and Uryuu jerked apart like they'd been magnetized.

"It-it isn't like that, damn it!"

"Suuure it isn't."

"Wow! It's so huge!" Orihime gushed, skipping forward in excitement, "How'd you get such a huge space under your shop?"

"With a big slagging drill and blatant disregard for property zoning," I pulled the excitable teen back to earth, "Don't encourage hams who aren't me. Too much ham spoils the soup."

"Such an excellent reaction!" Kisuke smiled at us, gesturing around the giant space he'd somehow carved under his candy store, "Welcome to the Urahara training grounds!"

"Yeah, yeah, it's real impressive," I muttered, "Aren't we crunched for time?"

"Point," Urahara conceded, "Ichigo, come with me. You won't stand a chance in Soul Society unless you can learn to release your Zanpakuto. Since you didn't get mauled by Captain Kuchiki before I could get there, we have a lot more time to train than I planned for. We should make the most of it."

"Captain Kuchiki?" Tatsuki asked, "Does that mean he's related to Rukia? Why would he kidnap her then? Wait, was he trying to rescue her from us?"

"Nothing of the sort," Ichigo shared, "He wanted to take her back so she could be put on trial for loaning me her powers to protect my family from a Hollow. Oh, uh, since you're an expert, hat-and-clogs, do I still have her powers or something? She didn't even try to fight back before."

"Nope. Your powers are your own now. I checked," Urahara replied, "Transfer techniques are temporary anyway, and when the Captain stabbed you he cut out her powers and they returned to their rightful owner. Orihime's healing technique somehow brought out your own Soul Reaper powers to fill the gap. I have no idea how, but that's something to study when we're not pressed for time. And yes, Captain Kuchiki is indeed Rukia's brother. But he is very dedicated to following the rules. Even if he disagreed with her conviction, he would enforce it."

"You're talking like you know Soul Society's big names pretty well," I observed, "Care to share your intel?"

"I don't know as much as you think," The shopkeeper prevaricated, "If nothing else because I haven't been in Soul Society for a very long time, and there's been some significant turnover among the captains. But I can give you a few tips. If you see a big guy with bells in his hair and an eye patch, or a very old, scarred, bald guy with a long beard, or a dude who looks kinda like a clown, you'll wanna run for your life. The other captains, and you can tell they're captains because of their white coats, are strong, but to my knowledge they'll fight to capture, not to kill. Unfortunately, a lot of the captains who were serving when I was there no longer are, and I was never much for watching spars, so I can't give you much more than that." He was definitely hiding something, but I figured pushing wouldn't get us very far with this guy. He'd obfuscate further just for the fun of it. And a list of faces to run away from very fast is better than nothing at all.

"Eh, whatevs. Good to know. Tatsuki, Orihime, let's find somewhere out of the line of fire to practice," I motioned them towards a likely-looking patch of rocks and dirt.

"I hope you don't mean to do so alooone. Why, Chad and I would feel so excluded." I jumped high enough to clear a decimeter. While wearing my armor.

"Streaky. Of course. Shouldda guessed you'd be working with these slobs," I grumbled, "Paws off my disciples, kitty, or next time I'll rig my windows with skunk stench."

"Chad?" Orihime exclaimed, leaping up to hug this huge, swarthy guy who towered over all of us. His right arm was covered in some kind of black and red armor. "You're here too?"

"Yeah, he got powers the same day you two did," Yoruichi shared, "After he killed a Hollow that was attacking Ichigo's sister Karin, I patched him up, brought him back here, and have been training him ever since. He's a quick study, but there's not a lot of flexibility in his ability. It feels incomplete, somehow. You're a human, Zoe. Any ideas?"

"Hm. Tats, 'Hime, Chad! Spar to tap out," I ordered them, "Last one standing gets the first set of armor."

"Armor?" Tatsuki asked excitedly.

"Yeah, the same kind as mine, tailored for you and your fighting style. You didn't think I was gonna let y'all go fight a bunch of crazy super-samurai without protection, did you?"

"Hellz yes. You ready to get your butt kicked, Chad?" Tatsuki grinned, bowing to the other humans.

"Is Orihime gonna fight too?" Chad asked, apparently taken aback by this. He had no problems with sparring against Tatsuki, though, so I wasn't sure what his problem was. "She doesn't like to fight."

"I-I don't," the bubbly brunette admitted, "But I can't just sit on the sidelines either, or I'll be holding my friends back. And nothing says I have to… kill people to fight. It's harder to fight that way, but it's the right thing to do."

I decided not to mention the mountains of stiffs I've racked up over the years. See, I can show self-restraint!

"I can admire that kind of resolve, even if I think it's a bit naïve," Yoruichi decided, "If you think you've got what it takes, go for it!" The two of us settled in to watch the kids go at it.

Chad immediately headed for Tatsuki. He probably didn't think Orihime was as much of a threat. The boy wasn't fast, but he built up an impressive amount of momentum as he charged.

Orihime took advantage of being ignored to set up her shield barrier at ankle height. Chad ran into it and went down like a bag 'o bricks. Then, she dissipated it, reformed it above him, and mashed the poor dope into the dirt. Chad flailed around a bit, but failed to get leverage.

Tatsuki closed in on Orihime and engaged her up close, confident in her martial arts skills. And rightfully so; the kid was dangerously skilled before she learned air magic. Tatsuki didn't bother with her sonic fist, which isn't really a good weapon for a friendly spar anyway, but she did get some pretty unbelievable air time and some mid-leap turns that shouldn't be possible as she stayed on her friend.

Orihime gave a surprisingly good accounting of herself, but without her shield she couldn't stand up to the karate champion for very long. Luckily for her, she got a distraction when Chad decided to get creative and fired a giant energy blast into the ground below him. He then rolled into the resulting hole to escape the pin. Orihime recalled her shield just in time to catch a heavy, flying kick from Tatsuki, and shoved the smaller girl back with a shield bash. Chad fired a second blast at Tatsuki, but she easily evaded with one of her floaty jumps.

Orihime fired her black fairy at Chad while he was busy firing, with a shout of "Tsubaki! I reject!" The projection extended a pair of fuzzy, blunt wings of mana as it screamed forward and caught Chad in the throat. While he tried to breathe around the huge, blotchy bruise it left, the little thing curved toward Tatsuki, who clapped hard, and blew it away with a burst of sound.

Tatsuki tried to close with her friend again, but with Tsubaki and her shield at the ready, Orihime was able to keep the fight at a distance. Air magic is great for a lot of things, but its long-range options tend to be restricted to 'alter the weather and hope it's effective', 'pump enough mana through a soundburst to make ludicrous gibs', or 'teleport closer'. Yes, teleportation falls under air magic. No, I don't know why. My doctoral theses were on military history and quantum physics with a focus on temporal mechanics. Knowing how to make the magics is enough for me. All of those require more mana and experience that poor Tatsuki had at the time. Eventually, Orihime clipped her opponent in the temple and I called the fight because Chad was turning funny colors and probably needed some heals. Also, Tatsuki had a concussion, and no matter what she said was in no condition to fight.

"Well, Chad, you certainly have striking power," I acknowledged, jerking my head towards the craters he left, "But your attack is really slow. You need a lot of wind up, it doesn't move particularly fast, and correct me if I'm wrong it's quite tiring to use?" He confirmed this with a nod. "You're a bit faster, and much stronger and tougher than you look like you should be with your arm active, but Tatsuki and Orihime were both fast enough to deal with your ranged attacks and you couldn't close in to use your size and strength to your advantage. I'd suggest trying to fire smaller, faster blasts that use less energy if you can. All the raw power in the world is useless unless you can land your hits."

"Of course!" Yoruichi facepalmed, chuckling ruefully, "To be honest, I've never had trouble making contact before. I'm always at least as fast and agile than whoever I fight. I guess that's given me a bit of a blind spot. You've got a much better grasp on matching strength versus speed if our spar was any indication. Why don't you take Chad, and I'll give Tatsuki some pointers since you're teaching her to boost her speed and agility?"

"Seems wise," I decided, "Hey, Chad. We're shooting skeet. I'm gonna throw rocks, and you're going to shoot them out of the sky with the smallest blasts you can make. Orihime? Try to block the blasts with your shield spell. You've gotten good at moving it around while it's active, but this is a different kind of practice. I don't expect Soul Society's samurai types to be lobbing artillery at us, but better safe than sorry with something like that."

"See? Better already," Streaky stated cheerily, "Hey, Tatsuki, tag! You're it!" She vanished in a blur.

"Really?" The aspiring wind mage groused, "Well… I suppose it'll be good practice." Steadying her breathing, she moved through a few focusing gestures, wrapping herself in friendly winds, and dashed off at speed.

"Are you insane? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" I raised an eyebrow at Ichigo's distant outburst.

"Orihime, you take over rock throwing for a while," I instructed her, "I think I've gotta go talk to Ichigo and Urahara."

I'd only taken a few steps in their direction when they Shunpoed (apparently the name of the super speed Soul Reaper move) in front of me. "Tell hat-and-clogs why he's an idiot, please," Ichigo requested, glowering darkly at the older man.

"It's not stupid! It's necessary!" Kisuke protested, "You'll never defeat a seated officer, let alone a lieutenant or captain, unless you master this."

"Master what?" I asked, "I mean, we can play twenty questions if you'd prefer. Is it… a mineral?"

"A mineral? No, it's a basic philosophy that he has to learn," Urahara specified, "The strength of a Soul Reaper's Zanpakuto is tied to their raw power, but also their resolve. That's why Captain Kuchiki's blade broke when he hit you with it. He wasn't expecting you to be hard to cut, so his sword was dull and brittle. Ichigo's blade is full of fear right now. When he defends, he's afraid to be cut. When he attacks, he's afraid of being countered, and when he gets through, he's afraid of killing his opponent. If he doesn't learn to channel his killing intent, his blade will stay dull and weak forever, and his Zanpakuto will never answer him!"

"And I'm saying that sounds like fucking murder!" Ichigo yelled back, "I'm going to rescue Rukia, but I'm not going to turn myself into a monster to do it!"

"Do you want to die?" Kisuke growled, "Because if you go into Soul Society with such foolish sentiments, you. Will. Die."

"What I want," Ichigo definitely beat Kisuke out on gruff and growly, "Is to, when this is over and Rukia is safe, come home to my sisters and my dad and be able to look them in the eyes. Some of these Soul Reapers are real douches, but I bet lots of them have nothing to do with this! When we break into Soul Society, they'll be doing their jobs. Which have to include trying to stop the hostile, heavily armed intruders." Ichigo firmed up his scowl, into that expression he gets when he's making a stand and nothing short of death or dismemberment is gonna sway him. "They might be my enemies today, but they're brothers, sisters, fathers… and mothers themselves. I don't care what's at stake. If I have to become him to win, that's not a victory. It's not honorable. It's not right. And it's not me. There's a better way. If you can't see it, hat-and-clogs, that's your problem, not mine." Huh. Somebody's working some issues out. Not unexpected, what with how he feels about the Grand Fisher, and that I've been blatantly conditioning him to question non-me authority and think for himself.

In his hands, Ichigo's Zanpakuto shimmered, ripples spreading up the blade. Apparently there was some feedback, because he raised it to eye level. We all got a good view as the steel shifted, and the edge and the back of the blade switched places, leaving the hardened steel blunt and the soft back razor-edged. Although, I suppose with Soul Reaper blades the quality of the metal isn't as important, so both sides will still work. It also shrunk again; that wasn't new, but previously you could only see the difference with 'before' and 'after' photos. This time, it was very noticeable. The thing was still big, but practically large, closer to the classic nodachi greatsword than a zanbato. And in addition to swapping the edges, the ripples left behind the characteristic waves of well-folded steel, gleaming slightly blue under Urahara's harsh, fluorescent lights.

"Huh. That is a sakabato. A reverse-edged sword. Somebody's been reading Rurouni Kenshin," I analyzed. Ichigo twitched in response; still got it, "Somehow, I don't think your murder-hobo philosophy is gonna work on him anymore, but by all means feel free to keep trying."

"One side for Hollows, and one side for everybody else," Ichigo smirked, running a hand down the blunted edge of his sword, "Fitting, I guess. Yeah, not on board with the whole murder thing. You got anything else to teach, or am I back with the people who don't try to spread their crazy around?"

Urahara responded by drawing a cane sword and taking a lazy swing at Ichigo. My disciple quite sensibly parried, and sparks flew as the two swords bounced off each other. "I'd say as long as your resolve holds up… You might be taking the foolish path, but the world could use more fools like you. You still need to achieve your Shikai, your initial release, but this is a very good step in the right direction. My usual method of trying to kill you until you tap into your hidden potential is probably going to backfire spectacularly now, though. Go train with your friends; I need to brainstorm." Urahara waved us off and plopped himself down on a rock, muttering incomprehensibly.

"How'd it go?" Yoruichi asked curiously as we walked back over. She's a cat, so I should've known she wouldn't let this go.

"Great. Ichigo had a life-changing philosophical revelation that rendered all of Kisuke's training plans completely useless. Apparently, he never considered that somebody might want to not murder people," I rolled my eyes, "I mean, I love a good old bout of indiscriminate carnage as much as the next murderous psychopath, but at least I try to make sure I only cut loose on people who really deserve it. Like rapists, and slavers, and people who order soy drinks with dairy toppings."

"Oh. Shikai training didn't go well, then," Streaky deduced, "Kisuke will probably figure something else out eventually, but his spontaneous plans have a very bad track record."

"Do you have a Zanpakuto?" I asked, "Or know how other people have gotten theirs to release?"

"I learned Shikai like most Soul Reapers do," Yoruichi explained, "Towards the end of my time at the Court Guards' academy, after years of meditation and soul searching, I met my Zanpakuto's spirit in the Jinzen ritual. I introduced myself, we hated each other, and I've relied on my other skills ever since. Most Soul Reapers do it that way, but without the animosity."

"So, meditation?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow, "That's it?"

"It probably won't work fast enough," qualified the crazy cat lady, "But it's worth a shot. Who knows? You've pulled off miracles before, like surviving Byakuya-boy with your powers intact. Next to that, Jinzen in days? Easy peasy."

So Ichigo sat down and meditated, and we watched. That got old pretty fast. Fortunately, Yoruichi and I had other disciples to divide our time between while he tried to get metaphysical with his sword. Three hours later, he opened his eyes, wearing that shallow grin he uses because he doesn't like to show emotions.

"I take it you were successful beyond our wildest expectations?"

"To a point. My Zanpakuto is a dick," Ichigo stated, "But then, I can be a bit of a dick sometimes, so I suppose we're well-matched. He says he'd love to let me go through the years of training everybody else does, but if I have to do that I'll never rescue Rukia. And we both want her safe. So he's giving me provisional access to Shikai, on the condition that I do the training right once things calm down. He also said he's going to make me work at least ten times as hard for Bankai, which I'm assuming is an even stronger version of the sword, to make up for it. Because he's a dick."

Yoruichi winced at that, but quickly rallied to the good news. "But you can use Shikai? He told you his name?"

"Yeah," Ichigo stood up, and held his sword out in front of him, "You guys might want to stand back. Renji's sword got longer when it released, and mine's bigger than his.

"Cover the stars! Zangetsu!"