Title: One Hand, One Heart
Rating: T
Warning- indirect mention of rape.
Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.
Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee.
xxx
The next morning, Finn Hudson sat in Spanish unable to take in anything Mr Schuster was saying. He had never been the sharpest crayon in the box, but now things seemed to just go straight in one ear and come out of the other. Mr Shue could be talking about pink elephants right now and he wouldn't know.
The truth was Finn Hudson was worried.
Which was not normal.
Finn was one of these people who tended not to worry about things. He had a comfortable family life, though his dad had died a little after he was born fighting in Iraq, his mom was nice and understood that he sometimes wouldn't have time for homework, in between his busy schedule of football and playing on his XBox. The only time he had ever really worried in his life was last year when he had thought that Quinn was carrying his baby.
The thought of Quinn made his hand tense angrily around his pencil.
But now, now he was really worrying. About a girl too, which made it even weirder.
Finn had never had a problem with girls. He had dated a few before Quinn and his place as quarter back made him a star in what was really a pathetic football team that hadn't won a game in twenty years. When Finn had first started he had been nonplussed to find that even though the other team had kicked their butt on the football field, girls would still hang around by the locker room door after a game. Waiting to see him.
All of this added up to mean that Finn never really had any problems with girls.
Until now.
Rachel had been so into him. At the beginning it had been kind of embarrassing actually, like trying to push away an over-eager five year old who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the word no.
But he had to admit she was hot, in a weird, pre-schooler meets grandma type way. Sure she always wore those weird sweaters with animals on and those long socks, but the short skirts that exposed her smooth legs were seriously hot. In a weird way.
Anyway, so Finn had been ready to make them a couple after Christmas. But she was weird. All quiet and shy. On the first day she almost ran away from him. She had told him that she didn't want to make a relationship. Which had seriously sucked.
But suddenly she came back to herself, like she realised how weird she was acting. And apparently her transformation was all thanks to that Jesse guy.
Finn jumped when he heard a loud crack. Looking down he saw that the pencil in his hand had snapped cleanly in two.
Sighing he shoved the two halves in his bag and clenched his fists together.
Just thinking about that smug idiots' face made him want to hit something. Preferably Jesse.
But Rachel would probably kill him. Or worse, break up with him.
He'd called her last night and she had been screaming down the phone. At first Finn had thought the worst, until she had finally managed to choke out that Jesse was tickling her and he had been able to pick out the laughter between her squeals.
And then she had hung up on him.
Rachel Berry had hung up on him.
It was all wrong. Back to front, upside down. She was supposed to be chasing after him, following him everywhere like she used to.
Instead she was off watching Broadway shows with some guy.
Finn clenched his teeth again and took a deep calming breath.
He would have to wait it out, hope that they grew apart. She had only known him for a few weeks after all. It was just a phase. She would get over it.
xxx
Rachel was always wary about entering the cafeteria. Last year, when she had been far more outspoken, it had been down right dangerous for her to go in there. Coach Sylvester's cheerleaders, known around the school as Cheerios, were at the top of the school's finely balanced social pyramid. And Rachel was definitely at the bottom.
Last year in particular, when she had informed the Cheerios that it was diabolical that they were charging people for homecoming king and queen votes and told them that their banner 'VOTE FOR YOUR HOMCOMING ROYALTY- $1 PER VOTE' was spelt wrong.
Then she had practically been chased from the room.
But now that Glee was a little bigger and better than it had been then she felt far safer when entering the jungle that was the cafeteria.
"Rachel." Turning she noticed Tina and Artie, the Glee club's resident wheel chair user, approaching the door. "Are you going in?"
"Uh, yeah, are you?"
"Sure," Tina pushed Artie through the door and Rachel followed behind them, pulling her sandwich out (the baby had a craving for celery, red pepper and dairy free cream cheese and anyway, there was no way she was eating from the cafeteria on her strict Vegan diet) and following them to a table at the back of the room near the tray dispenser.
She was surprised to see Finn sat at the table already; he normally took his time getting there, stopping to talk to other football players and drop stuff off at his locker.
"Hey Finn," She took the seat beside him, smiling a little.
"Hey," He reached over to give her a long kiss which she broke away from, laughing.
"Careful, I haven't even had my lunch yet." She gestured to the sandwich, wrapped in layers of cling film, before her.
"How can you eat that stuff?" He wrinkled his nose, taking a bite of his pizza.
"Having a consistent and healthy diet is best," Rachel recited, quoting her Barbra biography.
His only response was to take another bite out of the pizza. She rolled her eyes.
"So," He asked between bites. "Are you free tonight?"
"Of course," She nodded, finishing her sandwich.
"Fancy going out to that new Pizzeria in town? I think they do Vegan stuff."
"Oh yes!" She beamed, clapping her hands together. "I went there with Jesse and they did the most incredible Vegan pizza. Let's go."
Finn only nodded, his neck taught, but Rachel didn't notice. "Will you pick me up at seven?"
He nodded again and she smiled, "excellent." She glanced up at the large industrial clock that hung on every wall of the school so that no student could have an excuse for being late, and cringed. "I've got to go Finn; I want to talk to Mr Shue about our new number." She shook her head. "It just isn't working; we need to get the choreography off to a T, it's too choppy."
"Okay," Finn didn't look at her as she got up and hurried from the room. Once she was gone his expression dropped to a scowl and he crushed the pizza crust to crumbs in his hands.
"Stupid stupid Jesse."
xxx
Rachel had been worrying about what to wear for the past twenty minutes. She had a huge array of options laid out over her bed, but the truth was she didn't think that any of them were fitting. Her dads, weirdly, had been no help whatsoever, saying that she should just where what she wore to school, as Finn obviously liked her in that kind of thing.
She had decided, finally, on, a dark purple cashmere sweater with small puffs on the sleeves, which ended three quarters of the way down her arms and a black skirt with her only pair of heels, some black sling backs.
She was just pulling her hair back with two small clips and adding a small layer of lip gloss when there was a knock on her door.
She called blindly for whoever it was to come in, assuming it was one of her dads.
"Huh, I thought we were past the stage where we dressed up for each other? If you'd told I would have worn something else."
Rachel span around to see him stood in the doorway, a strange smile on his face, with one eyebrow raised questioningly.
"I brought the films." He held up a pile of DVDs and Rachel winced when she remembered that they had organised last week that they would spend tonight doing another musical marathon.
"Oh Jesse," She cringed, guilt sweeping through her. "I'm so sorry, I said I'd go out with Finn tonight."
"Oh," He looked a little lost for a moment, before quickly gathering himself. "That's why you're all dressed up; I was starting to think…" He grinned a little at her.
Behind the pretence of humour she could see how hurt he was.
"I'm sorry!" She tried to run to him, but the heels made her trip and tumble, forcing him to catch her and set her upwards again.
"Easy there Berry," He eyed the heels warily, "How often do you wear those?"
"Barely ever," She shrugged.
He sighed and shook his head, taking a step away from her when he was sure she was steady. "You shouldn't have to dress up for him Berry; he should love you for who you are."
She rolled her eyes again at his cheesy statement. "Like you'd know."
He mouth made a little 'o' of shock, his eyebrows shooting up until they almost met his hair line. She giggled at his expression.
He blinked a few times, before saying, completely sincerely. "I cannot believe you just said that."
She giggled again.
"No, honestly," He continued, taking step towards her. "I have been out with millions of girls! You cheeky little…"
He ran at her, taking her in his arms and tickling her again, making her scream and squirm away crying. "Stop, stop! You'll ruin my hair!"
"Aw," He ruffled her hair up a bit. "I think you look cute with messy hair."
She giggled feebly, straightening her outfit and brushing down her hair.
"Where're you going?" He asked.
"The new pizzeria, down town, you know it."
"Oh yeah," He grinned. "The one with the good vegan pizzas right?"
"Yeah," She grinned, "Funny, that's just what I said."
"Rachel!" Leroy called from downstairs.
"Yes?" Rachel responded.
"He's here!"
"Oh!" Rachel grabbed her purse, shoving things in as she replied. "Okay! I'll be right there!" She glanced around frantically. "Where's my mobile?"
She turned to find Jesse holding it out to her, a rueful smile on his lips.
"Thanks," She took it gratefully and shoved it in her purse, before turned to ask. "Do I look okay?"
He cocked his head and looked her up and down. "Well, you know, it's okay…"
"Stop it!" She cried, hitting him with her purse. "Seriously!"
"Beautiful." He said, more quietly and suddenly she had to try and stop the tears from coming. She blamed the baby.
"Thanks," She sniffled a little and started down the stairs.
Finn was stood in her doorway, looking tall and awkward, but quite handsome. He smiled when he saw her, out of relief or not, she couldn't be sure, but the smile dropped abruptlyand she guessed he had spotted Jesse.
"Do you want to stay for dinner Jesse?" Leroy offered, smiling at the boy.
"I'd love to, thank you." He smiled in return and went to lean against the wall, watching Rachel and Finn closely.
"Hey Finn." Rachel greeted him softly.
"Hi," He replied, smiling at her a little. "You look good."
She couldn't help but be reminded of Jesse's 'beautiful' earlier.
"Thanks," She smiled. "You look good too, very debonair."
Jesse snorted slightly at that and Rachel glared at him. "This is Jesse, Finn, Jesse, this is Finn."
"Hey," Jesse gave the taller boy a look that made Rachel think that he was squaring him up. And that he didn't come to much.
"Hey," Finn's response was stiff and restrained and Rachel decided it was time to go.
"Let's go Finn,"
"When will you be back?" Leroy rushed back in from the kitchen, wiping his hand on his apron, the reading glasses perched on the end of his nose showing that he had just been reading from a recipe book.
It was true that both parents were anxious about her going out on her own with some boy they didn't know. It was different with Jesse, they knew that he wasn't about to do anything.
Rachel glanced at Finn and he floundered for an answer, resisting the urge to say he had no idea.
Jesse cut in, "Well, it's about half an hour away right? So it'll take you an hour to get there and back. About an hour to eat? So two hours, you guys do the math."
"Around nine daddy," Rachel rolled her eyes at Jesse, "As our own little calculator over here has worked out for us."
"Little?" He held his hand to his heart, his tone injured. "I am not little, you wound me Berry!"
She laughed, sticking out her tongue at him as she pulled Finn past. "Good, I'm very glad."
"Don't stay out too late!" He called after her, laughing.
She chose not to respond, climbing into Finn's car and waiting as her boyfriend got in beside her and started the car.
"Sorry about that," She laughed as they drove away. "He's such a dork sometimes and I forgot I said he could come round tonight."
Finn grunted noncommittally.
Rachel sighed and fell silent, something which Jesse would have congratulated Finn on. Finally, unable to stand the tension she said, brightly. "So, Glee club's coming on right? We should take Regionals this year I think, or at least place."
"Yeah," He responded.
Rachel kept going, despite the lack of enthusiasm from her partner. "Yeah, we're getting really good, our vocals are up by miles and the choreographing is okay."
"Yeah," Finn repeated and they fell into another long silence. Finn broke it this time. "So, how long have you known Jesse?"
Rachel sighed. She really didn't want to spend her first official date talking about Jesse. But she answered anyway, just grateful that he was talking to her. "About three weeks."
"Whoa, you guys seem pretty close though?" Finn couldn't keep the slight bitterness from his tone.
"Yeah," Rachel answered carefully. "I suppose we just like the same kind of thing."
"Yeah, musicals and stuff. How was your thing last night?"
"Oh it was great!" Rachel gushed, smiling. "The show was fantastic; they went into all the details and gave amazing tips on how to become a star, which is what I'm going to do, obviously. Jesse has a book which he keeps good tips in; do you think I should start doing that?"
"Uh, yeah," Finn looked slightly dazed, but Rachel couldn't handle any more silence so she continued anyway.
"Mr Shue is great and everything, but he hasn't got any huge ambitions, he's going to be stuck in Lima all his life. Not like me, I'm going to New York as soon as I can; that's where all the action is you know."
"Yeah, I've been there," He managed to get in.
"You have? So have I! Why did you go, where did go?"
"Uh, I went with my Uncle. To see a football game. My mom doesn't like football. Unless I'm playing it."
"Is that all?" She seemed to deflate before him. "I went with my dads for my fifteenth birthday. We saw six shows, Wicked, Les Miserables, The Phantom, Oklahoma, Funny Girl and Evita. It was amazing."
"Six shows?" He stared at her, wide eyed. "How long did you go for?"
"About four days I seem to remember, oh Finn, I have to take you to see Wicked some day, it's phenomenal! With all the lights and the vocals are amazing."
"What's it about?" He asked warily.
"Oh, it's a take on the Wizard of Oz!" She explained eagerly. "About the Wicked With of the West and how she wasn't a terrorist, she was a freedom fighter! The Wizard just painted her as a villain and it addresses the issue of how the general public tend to believe anything that they are told by someone who they idolise!"
"It sounds kind of complicated." Finn replied. "It's all singing and stuff right?"
"Yes, although you mustn't get it confused with opera, that's completely different. Oh Finn, you have to see The Phantom, at least the film, if not the show. It's incredible, there's mist everywhere and the stage is cloaked in dark colours…"
Finn started to tune her out, as it seemed she was okay with just talking herself out and letting him nod in appropriate places.
xxx
When Rachel got home she was surprised to see Jesse still there. He was lounging on her sofa, watching a documentary on the Vietnam War with her dads. It was quarter past nine and he seemed to have made himself comfortable.
"Hey," She called, dumping her purse and the coat she had grabbed on the way out and joining them on the sofa, sandwiching herself between Jesse and Herim.
"Hi," He smiled at her. "How was your date?"
Her dads turned to listen as she answered, "It was good, fun. They do great pizzas there."
"Did you have the same as last time?" Jesse asked and she nodded, grinning.
"What did you talk about?" Leroy leaned around his partner to ask.
"Just stuff, Glee club, school, music, nothing special," She shrugged and Jesse tried to flatten the happiness inside him.
"Great," Leroy smiled as Herim asked.
"So you had fun sweetie?"
"Yes," She nodded.
"That's great," He answered and Jesse pushed himself off the couch.
"I'd better be going." He smiled and Rachel's eyes widened.
"Why?" She followed him out into the hallway.
"I was only waiting till you got home safe and sound Berry." He grinned. "I need an early night, I've got an early morning rehearsal with Vocal Adrenaline tomorrow."
"How early?" She asked curiously.
"Well, it'll start at about six I think," He laughed at her horrified face. "Don't look like that Berry. Ms Corcoran is driving us hard now, we need to be on our game for Regionals."
"Where we will whip your butt." Rachel joked and Jesse's eyebrows rose.
"Oh, fighting talk Berry. Don't get yourself into a frenzy though they aren't for another few months."
She just laughed, seeing him out.
"Catch you later Berry, I'll text you."
"Bye Jesse," She smiled and hugged him quickly, watching as he left.
Xxx
That weekend Jesse called her, asking her to meet him at the McKinley High parking lot at nine and to tell her dads that she would be out all day with him.
"Why?" She had asked, but all she had been met with was the dialling tone.
So she had done as he asked and was waiting in her car at the deserted McKinley parking lot. She couldn't help but think that this was some massive trick and that a series of Cheerios and football players, headed by Jesse, where going to appear from the school at any second and egg her or something.
Which was why she was so relieved when she saw Jesse's car pull up beside hers. She jumped out and went to meet him, opening her arms for a hug before stopping abruptly. He had someone with him.
Jesse grinned at the confused expression on Rachel's face and went to hug her.
"Hey Berry," He smiled, pulling away, but keeping his arm around her for reassurance. "This is my friend, Johnny."
Johnny was tall, a little taller than Jesse maybe, but nowhere near Finn's height. His hair too was brown and straight like Finn's, although more like Jesse's in its length, and stylishly cut. His clothes too, were stylish and looked quite expensive. He smiled at Rachel and Rachel noticed large icy blue eyes.
"Hey Rachel," He smiled and his voice was smooth and deep, with a slight accent.
"Johnny dropped out of High School last year and he's working on stage now." Jesse grinned, looking down at Rachel, who was staring at the boy before her with some kind of strange wonderment.
"Really?" She asked.
"Yeah," He nodded; his hands in his jeans pockets. "It was scary at first but I caught a break, I got picked up for the lead in an amazing new musical. American Idiot, have you heard of it?"
"Oh my gosh yes!" Rachel's smiled grew. "The one made up of just Green Day songs? Yes, I can't wait to see that."
"Great," He smiled. "I'll look for you on opening night,"
"Maybe Jesse will take me." She smiled at the boy above her.
Jesse smiled between them, "I was thinking we could all go out today and you could ask Johnny all the questions that I'm sure you want to know the answers to. That okay?"
"Sure," She smiled, thanking all that was holy that the morning sickness had reduced from what it used to be and generally hit in the morning now, so she was barely ever caught out anymore, and only a few times in front of Jesse.
"Great!" Johnny clapped his hands together and Jesse led her towards his car.
"What about my car?" Rachel asked, peering around his arm.
"I'll get it for you later. How did you get it back the other day?" He frowned, "when Finn dropped you off after school?"
"Oh, I walked the next morning."
Jesse rolled his eyes, but refrained from saying anything. Arriving at the car she was surprised to find the passenger seat door being held open for her by Johnny.
"Why," she smiled, clambering in. "Are all of Jesse's friends this charming?"
"No," Jesse laughed and the pair got in, Jesse in the driving seat and Johnny in the seat behind him. "He's just whipped."
"What?" Rachel laughed aloud.
"That is such a lie!" Johnny cried, but Rachel could see the smile in his eyes. "Lauren likes guys who are well mannered, so I am well mannered."
"He's been with Lauren for like three years," Jesse smiled, adding idly as they pulled out of the parking lot. "And you are totally whipped."
xxx
That evening when Rachel and Jesse finally arrived home the house was dark and empty. Once they had stumbled into the dark kitchen together, giggling when Jesse tripped over a coat stand, they found a note on the countertop informing Rachel that her dads were gone for the night and would be back late and to not wait up.
"Huh," Rachel frowned a little, "that's kind of strange, I wonder where they went?"
She looked up at Jesse for answers but her friend just shrugged.
"Oh well," She tossed the note back on the countertop, going towards the living room. "You can go now, if you want," She smiled at him, "Thank you so much for a fabulous day."
"Anytime Berry," He smiled, giving her a tight hug and following her into the living room, sitting heavily beside her.
"What are you doing?" She asked, frowning. "Don't you have to get home, get some sleep?"
"There's no way I'm leaving you here all night on your own." He kicked his feet up on the coffee table, leaning back in the cushions.
"What, there's no need for you to do that." Rachel frowned. "I can look after myself."
He groaned and turned to glare stubbornly at her. "Listen you, there are some seriously dodgy characters around here and I am not leaving you here to defend yourself. So suck it up and stop arguing."
He turned purposefully back to the TV, grabbing the remote and turning it on, clicking through the many channels and tutting in disapproval at the choices he had.
Rachel sighed, recognising the obstinate expression on his face that told her there was nothing she could do. She sat beside him slowly, shifting under his arm as he decided on a show, some old movie that was showing in black and white. Chancing a glance up at his face she gritted her teeth when she saw the smug smile he had.
She crossed her arms, huffing in annoyance, but his smile only grew.
They sat in compatible silence for the next few minutes, watching as the movie played on.
"So," He asked when the adverts came on. "How are you and Mr Jock doing these days?"
She rolled her eyes at his name calling, but otherwise ignored him. "He's great," She smiled. "We went out again on Friday."
"And he didn't want you for the weekend?" Jesse frowned. "If you were my girlfriend I don't think I'd ever let you go."
Rachel chuckled, but otherwise shook her head. "He had an away football game this weekend."
"And you didn't go?" Jesse cocked his head to one side curiously.
Rachel wrinkled her nose. "Football isn't my thing."
He laughed and she opened her mouth to join in when the metallic taste that she barely ever tasted now a days flared angrily in the back of her throat.
She jumped from her seat and sprinted across the room into the bathroom, vomiting violently into the toilet bowl.
She barely noticed when Jesse arrived behind her, pulling her hair from her face, holding her close and murmuring encouragement softly in her ear.
The throwing up didn't last wrong and as Rachel sat up, flushing away the contents of her stomach, she found a glass being held out to her. Taking it gratefully she swilled out her mouth and spat back into the toilet bowl, coughing lightly as he rubbed her back, her tears stinging her eyes.
"Rachel?" Jesse's arm snaked around her shoulders, pulling her close into him and as she buried her face in the cotton of his shirt she started, for some reason, to sob. A strange, nostalgic feeling filled her and, although she had no idea why, she found herself unable to stop crying. Jesse shushed her and rocked her back and forth gently, whispering soothing things in her ear.
After a few long minutes Jesse finally spoke, pulling back slightly to look at her, his long arms still around her. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine now," Rachel sniffled, looking up at him through heavy, wet lashes.
"Are you sure?" He asked gently.
"Perfectly," She nodded, going to clamber up, but Jesse stopped her, pulling her back down. The seriousness of his expression made her stomach flutter anxiously.
"Rachel, I need to ask you something."
"W-What?" She stuttered over the word.
He took a deep long breath. "Are you pregnant?"
Xxx
I would try and say something witty and intelligent, but it's late and I'm tired.
However, I will gush about last night's Glee episode. Wasn't it just amazing? The Valentines one, I mean. I thought it was splendid. I am now a firm shipper of Kurt and Blaine. I may try and slip it in this story somewhere, but that will be a long time away. Anyone else think there's a big opening for St Berry, because Finn said that she needed to not have someone to tie her to Ohio- Jesse would definitely not tie her to Ohio. I'm not sure how I feel about the return of Quinn and Finn, I feel kinda sorry for poor old Sam, but as long as Finn isn't with Rachel, I'm not bothered.
How amazing was Lea's 'Firework' by the way? They could have seriously wrecked that song, but they did it really well, because I think Katy Perry's voice is hard to replicate. Lea's ability to sing so many different genres astounds me.
By the way, I was thinking, maybe we should form a club, G.A .F: Gleeks Against Finchel… ;)
I am rejecting my other stories for this one, so you should feel very loved.
Long chapter this time, dont expect me to always be so nice.
Reviews make my day- no seriously, they actually do. When I wake up in the morning and find 13 new messages on my email and they're reviews and alerts and favourites I am happy all day.
Not that my life revolves around my stories or anything… *sheepish look*
Review please and make me happy all day!
Love
Ray
xxx