The next night.

Dean couldn't sleep. That had not happened to Dean in a long time, he had had nights where he was woken up by noise outside, by worries or by dreams. But never, in the past decade at least had Dean had real trouble getting to sleep. He may have had nights where he couldn't sit still, couldn't relax, didn't have the time or just didn't want to sleep. But right now Dean was lying in bed yawning and comfy but he just felt strange. He couldn't put his finger on why and he was sure it was that confusion that was keeping him awake by now. He'd been lying in bed for three hours and he had been all over it. Left, middle, side. In the covers, out the covers. Head on the pillow, head off. Feet on the pillow, feet off. He'd thrown the pillow to the floor and then leaned over to pick it back up again. He'd gone from fully clothed to down to his boxers. And he had brushed his teeth three times.

"This is friggin' ridiculous." He pulled the covers back and hauled himself up. He stuck his head out of the door and looked this way and that - silence. The coast being clear Dean padded down to the bathroom and shut the door over a little. He sighed and then ran the water before looking in the mirror. He inspected his face; it was obvious he was tired and it was obvious that something was keeping him awake but he couldn't think what. He had checked on Sam and after waking him up the fourth time he had narrowly avoided whatever it was Sam had picked up and threw at him, he hadn't dared to put his head back in to see what it was. Dean mumbled in his head about how it better not be anything of his. He cupped his hands together and brought them under the water, he then splashed his face.

"Dean?" Dean paused, blowing the water out of his mouth hearing Cas on the other side of the door. "You alright?"

"Yeah." He raised his voice so he could be heard on the other side and it echoed slightly. "Door's open." The bathroom door opened a little and Cas poked his head in as Dean splashed his face again. Dean reached his left hand out towards the handrail for the towel but he couldn't quite get it. Cas stepped into the room, he grasped the towel and pulled it off the bar just enough that Dean's finger's found it. Dean felt Cas' fingers tickled the palm of his hands as he handed Dean the towel. "Thanks."

Cas smiled. "Night." He turned as Dean wiped his face.

"Tired." Dean mumbled into the towel, drying his face quickly to talk as Cas turned back to listen.

Dean straightened up and took a step towards him. "I'm sorry?" Cas asked.

Dean blew into the towel, the way you do when you're drying your face and you have no reason for it then lowered it. "You asked me why you picked up your coat, knowing your cell was in the pocket, and not your shoes. You're tired. You're tired of running and doing it alone. You want to fix this Cas," Cas inhaled catching up to what Dean meant, "and you know that together we can. You picked up your cell phone because you know that you need us and we need you. We've always needed you." He shrugged. "That's the hard truth, Cas. You walked away because you thought you were doing the best for Sam and me but a part of you hoped that you were wrong."

Cas smiled. "I still could have picked up my shoes."

Dean shook his head. "You don't need shoes in the Impala."

Cas' whole face relaxed. They looked at each other for a few seconds and then Cas reached forward to take one edge of the towel. He raised it slowly and Dean opened his hand to let the weight of the towel rest. Cas used his right to pad the side of Dean's face that he had missed and then he used the other edge and his other hand to dab the other side. "How are the nightmares?" Cas muttered daring to look at Dean.

Dean looked him in the eye. Nightmares. Is that what they were? They didn't feel that bad.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Cas finished rubbing the sides of Dean's face. "I have made you uncomfortable. Forget I asked."

"No." Dean shook his head. "No, you didn't. The mention of it does make me uncomfortable but you didn't." Cas looked at him and Dean looked away before taking the towel with him to put on the bar again. "They're fine. I'm fine." He smiled and patted Cas on the shoulder as he passed him. "Get some sleep Cas."

He wandered back to his bedroom and closed the door. He rubbed the side of his face before walking back to his bed and trying again.

.

Dean walked down one dark and damp corridor after another with Alistair. "New one today, Dean."

"What happened to that chick?"

"Folded." Dean raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, Issac was teaching a new recruit last night and I said he could use ours as a guinea pig." They turned right. "I never thought she'd turn this time, I thought another two or three sessions."

"Tell me it wasn't the new guy?" Dean showed the disgust on his face.

"No, it was Issac. You need to let go, Dean." He stopped and put his hand out to stop Dean too. They looked at each other. "You've been holding back and I let you," Dean looked to the side. "You were easing in but now..." He trailed off and narrowed his eyes at the wall beside Dean's knees. Dean looked down at it and back to Alistair. "Now I need to go."

Dean put his hand out. "Wait, what?"

Alistair looked back to Dean. "I have an urgent matter to attend to."

Dean shook his head. "Wha- No we have work to do?"

Alistair's lip twitched and Dean's body language changed, it shrunk a little. "I have to go. You'll have to do this on your own." He suddenly grabbed Dean's shirt and shoved him against the wall, Dean looked at him. "Listen to me, we work together but I am your boss. You are costing me not only in souls but in reputation." He brought his face close to Dean's and Dean pouted a little, hating being reminded that he was somebody's bitch. When he spoke Alistair's voice was more of a whisper than usual and more threatening. "Get in there and do what you're here to do. I can see it in your eyes, Dean. The hunger." He smiled. "It's feeding time." He looked over Dean's face, gestured to the door behind them before letting go and walking calmly away. "Give James my regards."

Dean watched him walk away and exhaled to himself before turning to the door. He paused and steeled himself. Alistair was right, there was a hunger in him. A hunger long ignored. A hunger long ready. He opened the door and smiled as he saw an older man, of about fifty, dark hair and stubble.

He closed the door behind him. The man was just standing there, he seemed shocked but not frightened. "This is Hell isn't it?"

Dean smiled. "Yes, sir." Dean couldn't help but look at the man. He knew what he was seeing, he knew he saw the resemblance. "James." He let the name curl out into the air. Even the name was similar.

"I know what you are and you ain't going to get shit out of me." He spat.

Dean smirked. "I was hoping you'd say that."

.

Dean opened his eyes slowly and deliberately. He sighed before closing them again and dragging himself up and out of bed. At least he had eventually fell asleep. He went to the bathroom, washed up and brushed his teeth before wandering back to his room and finding clothes. As he was pulling pants on he saw Sam appear in the doorway. "Sorry, you missed the start of the show." He joked.

Sam scoffed and just stood there. "How did you sleep?"

Dean looked up with his back to Sam as he picked up a shirt from the floor. "Fine." He turned. "Why?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders. "No reason." Dean hooked the top over his head and watched Sam. He looked to Dean smiled and then looked around the room. Dean put his arms in the shirt and just waited, it was coming. "So did you sleep on the bed or the floor?"

"The bed." Dean screwed up his eyes.

Sam nooded and looked to it, he put his hands in his front pants pockets. "And, uh, did Cas join you this time?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Sam, what are you talking about? We slept on the floor in your room to make sure you were okay?"

Sam smiled. "Yes but it's not the first time you two have woken up together, is it?"

Dean suddenly remembered all of those months ago in the motel room. "Aw come on, Sam!" He pushed passed him into the corridor. "That was just two guys who got drunk and passed out. That's all!"

Sam followed him. "Maybe, but you weren't drunk the other night, were you?"

"I already told you. I was watching over you and Cas was keeping me company." Dean lowered his voice. "Where is he anyway?"

"Bath." Dean realised and they kept walking to the kitchen. "Dean-"

"Sam, just drop it, okay? Don't be such a teenage girl."

Sam sighed. "Fine." He walked to the fridge and poked his head in.

Dean looked at him, he made to turn away but then turned back. "What's the big deal anyway?" Sam looked to the right, back at Dean. "So we fell asleep on the floor, that was the plan anyway." Sam leaned his arm on the fridge door. "And I mean, we sat up eating and playing poker. That's just what you do, right?"

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Yeah."

Dean nodded. "Yeah." He walked to the cupboard.

"I don't know how many times I've fallen asleep at Stanford, you know, you're studying," Sam took the bacon and various other things out of the fridge and walked over to Dean, "you over work it and you pass out. It's normal."

Dean took the things. "Yeah, exactly."

"And I mean, don't worry about the spooning," Dean paused and looked at Sam who's face was deadly serious, "it's natural to roll towards body heat." Dean thought about it. "It doesn't mean anything."

Dean nodded looking back to what he was doing, which he had slowed down to listen to Sam pacing behind him.

"You just sling one arm over whoever is in front of you, I mean it doesn't matter who it is, you're asleep you don't know. Could be anyone, could be Crowley for all you know."

Dean laughed. "Yeah." He nodded to himself.

"And I mean if you move closer to them, don't worry about that either because that's just a combination of the heat and comfort for your arm that does that. I've done that." He pointed to himself and Dean turned.

"Really?" Sam picked a pan off the hook and held it out for Dean.

"Yeah!" He scoffed. Dean turned back to the cooker and took the pan. "I mean I can't count how many times I've woken up with their hair tickling my nose. But like a nice tickle."

"Yeah." Dean smiled a little. "And the smell?"

"Aw dude, the smell!" Sam walked to stand beside Dean. "Yeah, you can smell whatever they use on their hair and the smell of them at the same time, just," Sam pointed to his own neck," at the base right there," Dean glanced and nodded, "where the hair starts."

"And it's awkward so you have to put your arm..." Dean wiggled his left arm as the bacon and sausages began to sizzle. Sam cracked a couple of eggs into a different pan and Dean turned the heat on for those too. "You have to find somewhere for it, so you just-"

"Tuck it under their neck, yeah." Dean was listening the whole time, relaxing into the conversation, just knowing it was normal and watching the food. Breakfast for three. "Yeah, you know it's going to go numb but it's better that way because you get close enough to the neck."

Dean smiled and nodded more obviously and enthusiastically. "Yeah, there's nowhere else to put it."

"Yeah and you know," Sam stepped closer to Dean, talking with his right hand and Dean turned his head to look again, "some times," he paused, his voice lower, "when you've got your arm over their waist, their back is flush against you," Dean felt himself remember it, he shifted a little on his feet, was the cooker really letting off that much heat, "and you can feel every inhale and every exhale against you, so much so that at some point, you don't know when but at some point your breathing synced up," Dean thought back, it did, "and your nose tickles up and down that little patch at the back while your arm snakes under their neck." He bit his lip, as if he was about to admit a deep secret to Dean, "Sometimes," he hesitated, "it's mad," Sam widened his eyes and Dean shook his head, completely immersed and wanting to know, "but sometimes you feel your hand curl around theirs, you can feel your fingers between theirs and the best bit is when they squeeze back a little."

There was a silence over them both for a second. "Yeah." Dean whispered. He turned to Sam, completely surprised. "You and your mates fall asleep like that?"

"No man," Sam slapped him on the shoulder, "I was talking about Jess." He walked out of the kitchen, smug as shit, and Dean paused mid stir. He turned a sausage and thought about what Sam had said, what he had been thinking of and just what the Hell Sam had just pulled.

"Whatever man." Dean shrugged it off and then went back to intensely checking the eggs. "See how you like well-done."

.

Dean finished cooking and Cas walked into the kitchen. There was various things on the counter where Dean was stood; three plates and cutlery for all of them in a pile, some sauce bottles and napkins as well coffee poured into three cups just how each take it. "Hey," Dean muttered and turned back, "yours is the one without beans." He pointed and Cas stepped forward.

Sam walked in behind Cas, when Cas picked up his plate he moved out the way for Sam to take his. "Thank you, Dean." He said but he was smiling at his plate as he walked out.

"This one?" Sam pointed to Dean's plate.

"Yeah, you wish." Dean moved his plate over.

"What. did you slaughter your own pig? Come on man, give me a sausage." Sam moved his hand over Dean's plate and he moved his plate further away. "Just one!"

"You have three!" Dean gestured his head.

"Come on!" Sam tried again and Cas reappeared in the door as they argued.

He walked over while Dean and Sam were arguing.

"Sam, come on I-" Dean stopped dead, holding his plate in the air and his cutlery tucked in his right hand, Sam stopped too, Dean looked down and Sam followed his eyeline to see two hands on Dean's hips. They looked to Cas who was holding onto Dean to look to the side of them. "Cas?" Dean asked.

"Sorry," Cas nipped in between Sam and Dean, brushing against Dean's hip, "go back to arguing," he reached forward and picked up the sauce, "forgot this." He smiled at Sam then Dean and disappeared again.

Sam looked to Dean who slowly looked up. Sam picked up his plate and leaned in to Dean's ear. "You're going to Hell." He shifted. "Again." Then he disappeared down the hall with a smirk on his face.