Author's note, Keywords and Warnings:
See the prologue. This part contains Toriru (Hatori x Tohru).

Start: February 23rd, 2002
Finish: February 25th, 2002

exuberance

VI. Behind the Curtains
I didn't see anything...
(Ritsu + Tohru)

Ritsu asked himself why was he there, walking in the middle of the night. Oh, of course, he sometimes confused by his own foolishness. He didn't know that because he was genetically stupid, or because the cursed spirit that lived inside him, the monkey.
He was in his house in the Sohma family complex, when he got a... a what? He stopped, pretending to fix the hands of his woman's kimono, while in his mind, he was thinking what he wanted to think... four brushes to his clean kimono, he then realized that he had just received a phone call from Shigure's house, asking him to search Tohru in Hatori's house. He might be stupid, but he wasn't a fool enough to not recognize the anxious tone of Yuki's voice...
Well, the mouse was anxious because he might had wanted to go to the toilet when he decide to call the monkey... or was he anxious that no one had prepared dinner for them? Whatever the answer was, he must search for Tohru. The *must* word was stressed at the mouse voice.

Why would the mouse ask him to search for Tohru in Hatori's house? Then a thought came through him, and he soon realized that his house was the closest with Hatori in the Sohma complex. Thinking about it more deeper, why didn't he call the dragon instead of him? The mouse should know that he 'was' stupid and dazed easily, like what he was doing, stopping again, to think... Noticing that he had been standing there too long, he rushed to the doctor's house, brushing all the thoughts came into his mind.

Dark. That was the first thing came in his mind when the older man's house was came into sight. Of course, Hatori was alone in his house, knowing his habit, he did know that the older man liked darkness. But he had never seen Hatori's house darker than that night. At least, there would be a small piece of light from his study room. But there was none, nothing at all.

He stopped himself in front of the door. He saw Hatori's car in the yard that afternoon, so he knew that Hatori hadn't gone anywhere. That meant that he was still in his house. He pushed his hands to open the door to his house, only to pulled them back again, because of... again, his thoughts. He was afraid to make the older man angry... he was afraid to make 'anyone' angry. Until he gathered all of his courage and slided the sliding door. He could always apologize to the dragon, he thought...

The genkan was dark too, but darkness didn't make his eyes failed to see a pair of girl's shoes in the room. So, he thought, Tohru-san 'is' here. He smiled to himself, nothing to worry. Tohru Honda was in Hatori's house, so everything was alright, and he wouldn't be thrown by his guilty feelings. He put his own shoes off, and decided to go inside, to greet the girl.

Maybe he was running, maybe he was walking, maybe he was half walking half running, or his mind didn't warn him when his toe tripped over something, or he was too careless to walk, so his head could bumped to the wooden floor. A silent 'ouch' was mentioned while he was rubbing his head, giving it some ease.
That time, he saw something in front of him... a piece of cloth...

To make himself sure, he took it so he could see it clearly. He was right. It was a piece of cloth. To be exact... a pair of black trousers, something Hatori Sohma would wear. He then turned his head to see the something that made himself fall, another cloth. Only a glance, then he knew what it was... boxers. Well, he didn't wear them often, but he knew that was a pair of boxers.

He sat there for a while, trying to connect all the puzzles. Then, he heard something, soon he knew that he had fell in front of the dragon's bedroom. The shouji was half opened. Another voice. He moved himself with his knees, like a girl from late Tokugawa era would do, and cocked his head to the right side to see what was it.

He shouldn't.
He gaped.

He saw Hatori, he saw Tohru Honda, and he knew that he couldn't greet the girl like he wanted to do moments before. They were just wearing their skins, pale browns, which were touching against each other. Damp, full of sweats. He could see it even in that somber room. The moanings came from there too... from either of them, or both of them.

"---hn..." Another moan, this time the monkey could catch it and actually see it. He clenched his fists at the sounds that the girl made. "--hn... Ha-tori..."
The elder just answered her call with some grunts Ritsu couldn't quite catch, but Hatori's face was enough to tell everything what was in there, and that, with the words that Ritsu couldn't explain.
Hatori just pressed his body to the girl's, and Ritsu saw her legs hugging Hatori's waist. He didn't need sexual educations to realize what they were doing.

As soon possible, he would like to stand on both his feet, and went away, back the next morning, like nothing was happened. But he couldn't. The scene was too eye-catching. Their actions were unexpectable to him.
He didn't know that Hatori, the Hatori Sohma could be like that, he didn't even know that Tohru Honda, the famous pure girl named Tohru Honda, could *do* that.
Even if she could, he imagined that it was with Akito, where the later would try to rape her. But no, that was not with Akito, and he knew by himself, that was *not* rapery... The girl's eyes proved that it was not, and so does Hatori's... they were enjoying it.

He didn't understand that even more. The only thing he knew that, he didn't go, he watched them confusedly. Even when the pace between the two people in front of him went to a faster stage, even when the two people in front of him started to groan words and pleads that the monkey didn't even think they could say, even when the two people had reached the top of their efforts and screamed each other's name.

Good, he could go. He thought. But again, his feet was dumb.

Maybe the two people had stopped, breathing heavily; their chests were moving up and down, the sign that they were exhausted.... until Hatori moved his head so his lips landed on the girl's... now maybe, woman's... and the girl didn't seem to mind it at all. Instead, she was pleasuring him back, their hands went to each other's body... and Ritsu knew... it hadn't finished... and even more embarrassed when he knew that they would do something beyond his imaginations...

...

His jaw dropped to the ground. What was the matter with these people!? He didn't know that they were sex drives! He didn't even know that they had became a couple! Soon he imagined what Hatori had felt when Akito ordered them, ten of them, all of the male, to use the girl. He must be very depressed. He shook his head. He hadn't even thought of how, and then... he sighed...

For another hour he watched them, till he felt they wouldn't stop until their body couldn't move again. His feet moved by themselves, and left the place. Before he even realized it, a certain place on his kimono was wet...

***

Ritsu didn't sleep when he came back to his house. The only reason was he couldn't was the other night's situation; it made him cannot do anything beside sitting on his futon. He didn't even think. Till he realized that it had passed eight in the morning, he stood on his feet, and walked his way to Sohma Hatori's house... again. It was a shorter walk than yesterday's, but he was still in front of the dragon's house longer from the day before.

He didn't even open the door. He almost jumped in surprise when the door was opened by somebody, the somebody was Hatori, at the back was Tohru Honda, both were wearing their coats, like they were ready to go somewhere. As he regained control of his surprise, he quickly said. "I'msorryIbotheryou, Imterriblysorry!"

"Ritchan-san?" The girl bent her neck over the older man's shoulder, to make herself sure. She smiled and repeated. "Ritchan-san!"

"What are you doing here?" Hatori asked. If Tohru greeted him happily, like the sun that was shining in the eastern sky; Hatori just questioning with a tone that was colder than night in winter.

"I'msorry! I'msorry! Ah, thatwasthatwas---" Ritsu played the obijime -the rope which tightened the obi- with his fingers nervously. "I'msorry Imean, yesterdayyesterday Iwas IrecievedphonecallfromYuki-sanaskingmetosearhcyouinHatori'shouse. IwasIwasImeanIcan'tbotheryouyesterdaybecauseyoutwowere Imean --- Ican'tpossiblybotheryoulastnightsoIcamebackandI'msorry I-- I---" He stopped when he'd realized what he was saying, the other reason, was because Hatori was covering the monkey's mouth with his one hand.

"Ritsu, we'll talk inside." With that, he pulled the cross-dresser's into his house, asking the girl to close the door.

"I'msorryIdon'tmeantopeek---IcangoIwildowhatyouwant, Iwouldevenkillmyself---" and so on. Ritsu kept on saying words with his nervous yet fast tongue. Hatori slapped his own head and ran his hand to his hair, he couldn't stand standing beside the monkey any longer.

And worse, Tohru seemed to catch every Ritsu's words and replied them with concerned words every now and then. "Don't worry Ritchan-san, no need to be sorry, please don't, we won't ask you anything, *no* please, don't kill yourself---" and so on.

"Tohru, please bring something to drink for Ritsu." Hatori then said, coldly, but loud and clear enough to make both of them stopped the words they were saying. "But please don't take *that* tea."

"Ah, yes." Tohru bowed a little.

"Pleaseplease, don'tbotherIcan'tprepareitbymyself, IcanImean---Icantaketeaformyself."
"Please, Ritchan-san, you're not bothering anybody. I will go and prepare the tea." Tohru just smiled, and leaving them both.

Ritsu obviously wanted to follow the girl and proved he would get the tea by himself, when a strong hand landed on his shoulder, and stop his step. Hatori's. He held his movement till Tohru had disappeared behind the corridor. "Now, Ritsu,"

"PleaseHatori-sanIdidn'tmeantopeeklastnightbutyoudidn'tlockthedoorandyourhousewassodarkand---"

"I will forgive you if you stop talking." With short single sentence from the older man, Ritsu had his mouth shut. Hatori sighed for a while, putting his hands at the side pockets of his coat. "You came here last night?"

"AhyesIcamewhenYuki-santoldmeto---"

"Yes, that's enough." Hatori breathed out, and again asked him. "You saw us?"

Ritsu blushed, red enough till his face was darker than the kimono he was wearing. "Ididn'tmeantoI'msorryHatori-sanpleaseIdidn'tmeantoseeyoutwo."

"So, you did see us." Hatori cleared everything for himself. His eyes were looking straight to Ritsu's, making him couldn't say anything for a while, with so much power, anger, embarrassment, mix of emotions inside the dragon's eyes.

When he could, Ritsu pulled his sight away and turned his head to different direction. "I--- I better help her." He said quickly, but not as quickly as before, and half ran to the direction of the kitchen. He knew he couldn't stand being near the older man again, he couldn't bear it, he had seen that kind of look before... for a long time, he had imagined his parents looking him in the same way Hatori had seen him a while ago.

Mix of emotions, including in there were the compositions of power, anger, and embarrassment, the clearest he could see in the older man's side... and more with regret, humiliation, sadness, and disgust. He had imagined his parents looked him with the same look, but of course, it was imaginations... 'now', it was different... he saw the real thing. Soon he regretted himself barging to other's house in the middle of the night. He shouldn't done that... He should have known...

He chocked his tears from his eyes. He had felt the deepest slumber of self-humiliation... to hide his weakness... but he had never been humiliated by others as deep as the time he saw Hatori's eyes... They were scaring him... they were the greatest devil alive... he hadn't known how the others could feel complete fear with other people's presence; just like some certain Junishis with facing Akito... But he knew 'now', when he saw Hatori...

"Ritchan-san?" Again, Tohru's voice. He titled his head, and quickly brushed the tears with the hands of kimono. But Tohru didn't fail to see the one that Ritsu had been trying to hide. "Oh my god! Ritchan-san! You're crying! I'm sorry!" Ritsu somehow ended in the kitchen, well, that was his destination.

"No, no, Tohru-san..." Ritsu calmly pushed Tohru worried hands from his face. "I'm the one who should apologize..." He then retreated few steps, and bowed as deep as he could. "I'm sorry... Yesterday, I went here and actually see you and Hatori in his bedroom. I'm sorry." He bowed again.

Tohru felt the temperature of her face rising. She knew what Ritsu meant, quickly she bowed back. "No, no, not at all, Ritchan-san! It's not your fault!"

Either he or she, didn't know how long they had bowed to each other. But it was a long time, until bass voice called. "How much you two wanted to stay in that position?" The voice enough to make Ritsu lifted his head in surprise, he saw Hatori's eyes at a split second, enough to make the monkey jerk his head to the other side quickly.

The dragon not seemed to mind at all. "Tohru, I'll wait in the car." He stopped for a while to look at Ritsu. "Please take care of Ritsu for a while." Tohru cocked her head in confusion for a while, but then Hatori mouthed her something and at that time, Tohru nodded, and Hatori went out.

When the doctor was out of sight, Ritsu again, played his fingers to his obijime and moved his hands uncomfortably through his obi. "Tohru-san. Since when, I mean, you and Hatori-san... I mean---"

Tohru smiled. "Ah, Ritchan-san." She put her hands above his, squeezing them gently, as if it was telling him to calm down. "You thought Hatori was angry?"

Ritsu only ducked his face, Tohru just still, she was waiting for Ritsu's answer, and he voiced. "Actually... I'm afraid of him."

"Afraid? Of Hatori?"

"Yes." He then halted his words for a while, he then continued doubtfully. "He doesn't like me. I interrupt his privacy, and yours Tohru-san. I must have make you angry."

"Not at all." Tohru again, tightened her squeeze at Ritsu's fingers, with one of her hand, she titled his voice. "You're a really nice person, Ritchan-san, you really aware of people surround you. I sometimes envy you, not to do something that someone doesn't like... you're afraid to make something different. And you're imagining things by yourself. You're afraid to see something different in someone's glance... you're blaming yourself, and put curtains around yourself..."

Ritsu raised his one of his eyebrows. "Curtains? Tohru-san, you mean 'walls'?"

Tohru chuckled. "Now, you have a little confident. No, if I said 'walls', you wouldn't care of your surroundings, you even wouldn't care about anything else. But, you always sees things around you, because of that, I say 'curtains'." She trailed her fingers along side his jaw, possessive touch actually, but her eyes were looking at him in a same way his mother look at him. "Ritchan-san, when you saw us, last night, what do you feel?"

"Eh?" Ritsu's face reddened, his mind automatically rolled the view back. "Idon'tknowTohru-sanIdon'tknow---" He stopped when he saw Tohru's face... then he had something in his mind...
To a scene happened long time ago... that was when his mother brushed his hair, in his monkey form, and said he was beautiful... he didn't understand his mother that time, but she said he was beautiful...
Of course... His mouth half opened when he realized that... "I didn't see anything, Tohru-san..."

Tohru started to smile as Ritsu continued. "Of course, I didn't see anything... I'd never seen anything... I'm only... ah---" As a bolt of lightning hit him right at the place.

He didn't understand that even more. The only thing he knew that, he didn't go, he watched them confusedly.

He hadn't seen anything before... He only cared how to do something with other people's perceptions... He always thought about other people's point of view until he had buried all of his confidence... all of his own life...
Of course, Tohru Honda cared about everybody, like he was, but she had done anything with her own way, surroundings...

What was the matter with these people!? He didn't know that they were sex drives!

Tohru Honda made him understand... He should have known, that that night, he hadn't seen anything... but both of them should had seen something that he couldn't catch with his eyes. He might seen the interactions between them, but he hadn't seen the beauty of it, other people maybe only saw it as a 'sexual intercourse' like he had seen. But it was different, something else... The ones who did it, were the only ones who could see the true beauty of it.

Her mother too, said that his son was a beauty, because she had born him... To her, he was more precious than any other living creatures. The others would say that he was not, but to her mother... who born him, care for him, even though he couldn't be hugged, he was the best she ever had...
It was the same as the world, his world, if he was only the watcher... he wouldn't seen the beauty, he had to do it by his own, do his own things... and he would see the beauty...

"You see, Ritchan-san." Tohru then said when she saw some differences in Ritsu's eyes with his original ones. "Hatori wasn't angry. He was just thinking when he saw you. He then told me that it was the time for you to open your eyes and see your surroundings in a clearer way..."

"Tohru-san." He started to cry, knowing he knew something that he hadn't known before. "Ah... thank you, thank you very much..."

He had been the watcher... Sitting behind the curtains, didn't want to go through it.

"You're welcomed, Ritchan-san." She clapped her hands, and stepped back. "Well, if you would kind enough to drink the tea I made. I'm sorry to leave you here, but I have to catch Hatori. I feel uneasy to be waited by other person." She bowed one more time, and set her feet. Ritsu had changed, thank god she didn't tell him that last night was only a set up, created by someone else... She sighed. If he knew, maybe she had to think something else to change the monkey's point of view...

"Ah, wait, Tohru-san!" Just when Tohru walked, he caught her wrist, and pulled the girl, towards his own body.

***

Hatori was looking at his wristwatch in his car when Tohru came. "It took you long enough in there." He commented as she opened the door and sit beside the driver's seat. He soon started his car.

Tohru just shook her head, her face was red. "It's nothing."

"You're blushing." Hatori said as he slowly gas the pedal. "What's the matter?"

"Ritchan-san..." She put her fingers on her lips. "He kissed me."

VII. Out of this World
Words are sharper than sword
(Shigure x Tohru)

Teasers:
"If you mentioned Akito-san's name with a false tone, Tohru-kun, I will not resist myself to kill you." One sentence from the dog; informative and threatening, colder than anything she knew... colder than even Hatori's.
Tohru lifted her head to see a mischievous smile from the author. But instead, she found a completely different person, eyeing her with jealousy, anger and hatred. Not even usual playful light from his eyes. "Shigure-san...?"

... :sigh miserably: stupid attempt on philosophy. Just ignore it, please, I'm having trouble with Ritsu's part, this is the most meaningless part I've ever made, but I've tried my best, I'd retype it three times already, and I don't know what to do with him... And for my English, I'm sorry... I don't have any other place to pratice it. But it 'is' readable... (isn't it?)
While making this part, the author's listening to Seki Tomokazu's album "Naked mind".