This chapter is set immediately after 2x18 "Return to Sender". Rusty was almost killed by Wade Weller and has to leave the condo to stay with Provenza.
It felt like his life was being torn apart, like everything good was slowly but surely slipping away from him. Wade Weller might not have managed to kill him tonight but he had successfully achieved that Rusty had to leave the only place he had ever truly felt at home at, he had to say good bye to the person who loved him unconditionally. No, Sharon wasn't his mom, she had not given birth to him but she had chosen him and this was all the more meaningful. The way it looked at the moment he wouldn't have to be away for very long, not if everything went like planned. Plus he would probably see Sharon every day. But it still hurt to leave, it still felt wrong. He wasn't fighting it though, he promised Sharon to do whatever she thought was best for him and this was what was best, what was safest.
With his backpack over his shoulder he left his room, Provenza was already waiting for him by the condo door. Rusty looked at the suitcase the lieutenant was carrying, his suitcase, the one Sharon had bought him for a school trip. He had not wanted to have it, he was ok taking his backpack and a plastic bag but Sharon wouldn't have it. So he had caved and let her buy the expensive item. Today he wished he hadn't. Not that it would change anything about the situation. But maybe if there was no suitcase full of his clothes and personal items it would feel less like he was leaving for good.
Sharon was standing next to Provenza, waiting to hug him good bye. There was a small smile on her face. It calmed him down a little even though he was aware that it was only there for his purpose. She smiled to let him know that everything was going to be ok eventually, to not scare him any further.
"What about you?" Rusty asked as he approached Sharon. "Someone is going to stay with you, right?"
"I'll be mainly at the station, Rusty. I'm safe there."
"But tonight you wont be! You'll be here all by yourself! This Wade guy could return at any time! You said so yourself!"
"Don't worry about her kid. Her babysitter just arrived." Provenza said as he pointed to someone in the corridor outside their condo.
Only a few seconds later that person walked in. Andy Flynn. He was carrying something that looked suspiciously like an over night back in one hand and a bag with take out in the other.
"He'll keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid." Provenza informed the teenager while looking at Sharon, strongly suggesting her not to involve herself in any scenario that has her going after Weller all by herself.
"See Rusty? Nothing to worry about." She smiled once more before she touched his shoulder. "We'll see each other tomorrow morning, ok?"
Rusty swallowed, suppressing the urge to cry, and nodded.
"Say it." Sharon prompted. She wanted to make absolutely sure that he was listening and that he was understanding.
"Okay." He sighed. "We will see each other tomorrow."
She gently pulled on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him when he leaned into her.
"I love you." She whispered.
"Me too." He did not feel comfortable with the hugging and the love declarations, not in front of Provenza and Flynn but after the day he had he simply couldn't bring himself to care. He almost got killed. He brought himself in grave danger and thereby also risked Sharon's safety. He was scared that staying with Provenza was only the first step, that eventually he'd have to leave there as well and go into the witness protection program. He was not going to waste this opportunity to tell Sharon just how much she meant to him.
"Come on kid, let's go. We'll get some burgers and watch TV till we pass out." Provenza knew it had to be him to tell Rusty to get going. The captain simply couldn't ask him to leave again. The first time had already broken her heart.
"Ok." Rusty said as he let go of her. He attempted to smile but failed. He wasn't as strong as she was, he simply couldn't pretend that he was fine. "See you tomorrow."
"Good night." Sharon watched him turn around and walk out the door.
"He'll be just fine." Provenza assured.
She nodded, not convinced about that at all. But right now she couldn't do anything but hope Provenza was right, hope that Rusty would in fact be okay.
The lieutenant turned around and left as well and for a moment Sharon forgot that Andy was still here. She was so lost in her thoughts, lost in her worries, her self-reproach.
"You know that there is probably no safer place for him to be than with Provenza, right?" He came to stand next to her.
"Yes I know." She released a loud, heavy breath and repeated: "I know."
She was having difficulties to hold it together, to hold herself together. So much had happened today. Rusty almost got killed and now she had to send him away, had to tell him to leave when actually she just wanted to never let him out of her sight again.
"Come on, let's sit down. I'll get you a glass of water." He softly touched her arm to lead her to the couch.
"I'm ok, Andy. I can get my own water." She walked into the kitchen and got them both something to drink. It felt like she was watching herself pour the water into the glasses, it felt like she was on autopilot.
She startled when the water started to spill over the rim of the glass. She hadn't noticed that it was already full, her mind had been elsewhere.
Before she could reach for something to clean up the mess with Andy was beside her. She could feel his warm hand on the small of her back and was surprised once more to find him softly pulling her towards himself.
He was crossing a line they had never crossed before and to her surprise she was not sure she minded it. Right now, at this moment, she certainly didn't. She went willingly into his embrace and let his arms wrap around her body.
It took her a few moments until she returned the hug. When she did she let out a loud sigh and it was only then that she realized how much she needed this. It felt good to have a friend who gets you. And that's what Andy was, her friend. Her very good friend.
"I know sending him away was the right thing to do." She said. "But it just feels terrible, like I abandoned him... I know I didn't, I know I did what's best for him but it all just feels wrong."
"I know." His chin was resting against her temple. She could not only hear but actually feel him talk. "Before you know it he'll be back leaving dirty dishes in the sink, playing video games and complaining all day long."
She chuckled for a moment, then she pulled away from him, her expression much more serious now. "IF we find Wade Weller."
"WHEN we find him." Andy clarified. "None of us will give up until he is in handcuffs. We have our best guys looking for him, it's only a matter of time now."
She nodded, he was right. Every single police officer in LA was on the lookout for him. It was almost impossible for him to stay hidden for very long.
"So what did you bring for dinner?" It was a rather abrupt change of topic but it simply felt good to put all this behind her for a little while. And tonight she could do exactly this for a few hours. Rusty was as safe as he could be, there was nothing else she could do right now except distract herself and get enough sleep so she'll be at the top of her game tomorrow.
"Greek. With an extra serving of tzatziki for the lady."
She looked at him and smiled. A few months ago he had ordered Greek food for the team. She had asked for an extra helping of tzatziki to go with her souvlaki. She was rather impressed he had remembered that.
"Thank you." She said. "For the food... and the company."
"It's my pleasure."
This time she had not tried to send him home, to convince him that she did not need protecting. He knew perfectly well that she was capable to fend for herself. But he simply felt better when someone was with her. After all four eyes saw better than two and two pairs of ears also heard better than one. That it was him who stayed with her tonight made sense too, they were friends. Sure she was friends with Julio and Mike as well but it was different with Andy. He was HER friend. Julio and Mike were just friends, no possessive pronoun in front of it. It seemed ridiculous but somehow it made perfect sense to her.
"I'll set the table. Can you get the take out bags from the den?"
"Whatever you say Captain." He said and grinned.
A few hours later Sharon was lying in bed, unable to fall asleep. It was one thing to distract herself when Andy was with her but now, all alone in her room, all the worries were returning.
She was wondering if Rusty was ok, if he was asleep or if he was lying awake as well. He usually was able to fall asleep quite easily but there was nothing "usual" about the day he had, nothing at all. He almost got killed. Her little boy almost was stabbed.
Suddenly it became harder to breath, her heart started racing, nausea overcame her and for a moment she thought she was going to throw up.
It was her phone that pulled her out of the little panic attack that was about to take control over her. She reached for it with shaking hands. A text from Provenza.
Your annoying babysitter insisted that I assure you that the kid is fine. This is me assuring you. Now get some sleep.
Only a few seconds later another message came through: A picture of Rusty being sound asleep in Provenza's guest room. She could tell that the boy was not entirely relaxed but at least he was sleeping. Sleeping is healing, sleeping is forgetting. He needed all of that right now.
She felt herself calm down again. Not entirely but significantly. Her fingers moved softly over the screen, wishing she were with her boy, wishing she could sit next to his bed and watch over him all night, make sure herself that he was fine. But she knew he was in good hands, she trusted Provenza.
She answered his text and before she put her phone away again she decided to write one more message. To Andy. Andy who was just a few feet away from her in the den, refusing to lie down in Rusty's room. He was determined to stay up all night, making sure Wade Weller wouldn't return.
Thank You
He texted back immediately.
:) try to get some sleep
For a moment she smiled thinking of him. Then she put the phone back on her night stand and closed her eyes. Maybe now sleep would come.
Slow burn xD Thanks for reading. If you have any suggestions or ideas for future chapters pls let me know. I very much plan to continue with this story even when the chapters are sometimes posted months apart. Slow writer here ;)