Tom walked around his quarters. They were just as he had left them. Spying B'Elanna's gown on the floor by his bed, he picked up it. Lifting it to his face, he inhaled her scent. It was a comforting aroma. He laid it on his bed, and walked over to the window and watched the as stars zipped by. He could tell by the view from his window and the vibrations under his feet that the ship was traveling at warp 8. He missed piloting the ship. Twenty-one days to go, just twenty-one days.
In the mess hall, Chakotay sat alone at a table eating lunch. He was reading a PADD.
"Mind if I join you?" asked B'Elanna.
He smiled and pointed to an empty chair. "Have a seat. How are things in engineering?"
"Fine," she said as she took a seat. "Has Tom been moved to his quarters?"
Chakotay nodded, "Yes, the Doctor released him from sickbay this morning. He seemed to be okay when we left him. He's got twenty one days left on his sentence."
"I know," replied B'Elanna.
They were interupted by Neelix as he paused with a tray ladened with covered dishes. "I'm on my way to take Tom his tray. If anyone needs me, I'll be back soon."
"Too bad, I can't hide under one of those dishes," joked B'Elanna.
"I'll tell him that if I get a chance," said Neelix in an understanding tone.
Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." The twinkle in his eyes belied his serious tone.
"Well, I'd better hurry, I don't want his food to get cold," said Neelix as he walked towards the door.
When he got to the door, Ensign Lang activated it and let Neelix in while remaining at her post. He walked over to the table and sat the tray down. Tom walked over to see what he had for lunch.
"Tom, B'Elanna wished she were small enough to hide under one of your dishes," whipsered Neelix conspiratorialy.
"I wouldn't mind having B'Elanna for lunch," quipped Tom.
"Well, I'd better be going. It's lunch time and I don't want to leave the mess hall unattended for too long," said Neelix as he walked to the door. It slid open and he left quietly.
Tom sat down and began removing covers from his food. He smiled as he surveyed each item. Grilled chicken breast, steamed rice, salad, fruit cocktail, and a multi-grain roll. The Doctor's dietary restrictions beat the Captain's "basic nutritutional" restrictions. He began eating his meal.
Back in the mess hall, B'Elanna was now sitting alone. Chakotay had finished his lunch and returned to duty. Neelix stopped by her table.
"I relayed your message to Tom," he whispered. "His answer was, 'I wouldn't mind having B'Elanna for lunch.'"
B'Elanna grinned, aware of the double meaning in those words. Sexual innduendo generally escaped Neelix, but not her. "Thanks, Neelix," she said. Rising to her feet, she took her empty dishes to the recycler and left for enginnering.
Right before Tom went to bed, the Doctor came by to check on him and administer his medications.
"You're heart rate and blood pressure appear to be remaining stable. Thus far, I have not found anything that will prevent the nightmares. I think it's something you'll have to work through," explained the Doctor. "The cardiac montior will alert me if you should have problems during the night. Perhaps if you focus on positive memories at bedtime it will influence your dreams."
"At this point, Doc, I'm open to anything that will help," admitted Tom.
The Doctor was pleased by this statement. Perhaps Tom would be open to trying an animal guide as Chakotay had mentioned. "A medic will be by in the morning to give you the next dose of medication. Remember, happy thoughts," admonished the Doctor.
Tom got into bed and pulled B'Elanna's gown to his chest. If he could not have her with him, the gown would serve as a tangible link to her. He dozed off to sleep, thinking of B'Elanna and how much he loved her.
Hours later, Tom awoke...the nightmare had come in spite of his 'happy thoughts' while going to sleep. He had been able to wake up quickly. At least he did not feel as badly as he had prior to the Doctor's treatment for his heart rate and blood pressure problems. Gathering B'Elanna's gown close once more, he went back to sleep, again trying to focus on happier thoughts.
Two days had passed, and the Doctor went to give an updated report on Tom's conditon to the Captain and Chakotay. They were in her Ready Room.
"Mr. Paris has not had any more episodes with his heart rate or blood pressure. My combination of medicines has accomplished that. He is still having the nightmares, though since being moved to his quarters, he is only having them once a night. His stress and anxiety levels are also significantly lower," stated the Doctor.
"He only has 19 days to go," said Janeway. "I'm glad he is not reacting as badly as he was."
The Doctor turned to Chakotay. "Commander, if Tom is willing, you may now work with him on finding his animal guide. I feel comfortable with him using the Akoonah now that his mental and physical health have improved."
"I'll discuss it with him today," replied Chakotay. "If he is open to it, I'll set up a time to get him started."
"I hope it helps him," remarked Captain Janeway. "He needs someone or something to discuss those dreams with."
"His dreams seem to be centered on being shut up in something by his father. In sickbay, he cried out, 'Please don't put me in the chest again.'" said the Doctor.
Janeway paled as she recalled the large ornate cedar chest in the Paris house. "Owen wouldn't have," she gasped.
"Wouldn't have what?" asked Chakotay and the Doctor simutaneously.
"There was a large cedar chest in the Paris' living room. I saw it when I was a guest," she answered.
"Well, if the dreams are repressed memories from his childhood, that may well have happened," said Chakotay. "B'Elanna told me that Tom said his dad was a doting father till he was taken prisoner by the Cardassians. Once he was rescued, his dad was like a different person. Based on his studies with the Doctor, Tom thought his dad suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome."
"So, Mr. Paris has learned to apply his studies," said the Doctor.
"That could be one reason Tom doesn't discuss the nightmares. He feels his father was not entirely to blame and ...doesn't want others to judge him too harshly," reasoned Captain Janeway.
"Well, whatever the reason may be, he does need to have a way to process that pain, and if he is willing, using an animal guide may help him," replied the Doctor.
"I'll take it up with him today," said Chakotay.
"Just remember, Commander, I need to be present when he attempts to contact his animal guide so that I may monitor his vital signs," the Doctor reminded Chakotaty.
"I will, Doctor," he answered.
"Is there anything else, gentlemen?" asked Janeway.
They both shook their heads.
"Very well, dismissed," she said thoughtfully.
As they left, she sat comtemplating their discussion. She knew that she had been hard on Tom, but he was far too impulsive and needed consequences that would make an impression on him. She could only hope that he and the others would eventually understand.