Chapter 6

I didn't want to make a scene, but April gave me no choice. I just couldn't talk about it. And the truth is, if I still know what it means, I don't want to. I always wanted to forget about that day. I remember every detail. I remember the pain when they tied my hands, I remember the smoke that made me puke a few times, I remember-
It's enough. I tell myself. That day is over. Has been for years. I promised myself I won't ever think about it.
"God, I need a tea" I murmur.

After I put some water into a kettle I look into fridge to see no cake is left. "Perfect" I snort.
I'm aware of his presence after many years of training I would be even if I were deaf.
"I won't apologize" I say. It's private and April has no right to put her nose into my stuff.
Kettle wheezes for the first time.
"If someone should apologize it's April" he says, taking a seat on the kitchen's table. He searches for my eyes and I, don't even know why, let him find them.
Kettle wheezes for the second time.
"I… You're on my side?" I don't plan to sound shocked. Normally I can control myself. But not now, not with him.
Kittle wheezes for the third time.
"Of course I am. Whatever made your hair half blonde, whatever it is you don't want to talk about… it's okay. You don't have to do anything you are not willing to do" he smiles lightly. His eyes are blue like an ocean, but they have something more… I cannot name it. Maybe because I was never given that? "But you should know something" his expression gets serious, but emotionless or acute. It's somehow full of kindness. "Sometimes it's better to share a secret. Before it burned you inside."
Kittle wheezes one last time.
Leo turns it off and take to cups from a cupboard.
"Japanese?" he asks and I smile.
"You don't have to drink tea with me."
"But I want to" he argues.
"You know I can make it too" I say.
"I heard a legend."

"- I should be glad you came instead of Donnie" I say. "he would probably be trying to kill me, 'cause I threatened his princess." I already drunk my tea and Leo gave ice cream from their cat, however weird it sounds.
"Trying" he repeats. I chuckle
"What's with a cat, anyway?"
"Well, we found him on a patrol and Mikey tried to return it to its owner, but… let's just say he freaked out a little after he saw a mutated ninja turtle."
"It still doesn't answer why it's made of ice cream" I say with a smirk.
"Yeah" Leo scratches his neck. "Mikey brought it home without telling anyone and accidently throw some mutagen at him."
"Let me guess, he was eating ice cream then and the cat wanted to try some" I almost laugh. "How Splinter reacted to the new pet?" I raise my eyebrow, not letting go of my smirk.
"Yhm… Let just say he wasn't very pleased, but he accepts him now."
"Him? What if it's a girl?"
"I trust Mikey's right" I cannot help but make fun of him.
"You trust Mikey on something other than cakes? You're not gonna live long…"

With smile on my face I ignore looks of April and Donnie. She looks rather upset and he… kinda defensive. If it's even possible. Well, as I see it is when it comes to April.
I follow Leo to my new old room. I didn't even sleep here for a night, but I remember this place. Everything's the same, but the bed. The bed is an actual bed.
"It's… nice" I say and catch Leo staring at me. When he sees me notice he turns his head in other direction. How adorable.
"There's a bathroom" he points at second door in the room. How come I didn't notice them. "I'll leave you, so you can have some time for yourself" he says and heads to leave. "If you need anything you know where to find me" our eyes meet for a second before I say
"I left my, I mean April's, things in your room."
"Let's go get them."

I take stuff from his room and he wishes me goodnight before I leave "You too" I say barely understandable, but I feel his smile on my back when I go out.

It's a second time I take shower today and there's no way for me to leave it soon. The way water falls onto my body is indescribable. I feel bad memories going away once again and I'm afraid of going out. I don't want them to come back and haunt me at night, not letting me sleep peacefully. I'm scared I'll drown in them like a small child. I should be heartless kunoichi, I shouldn't fear of night, when it's my day. I should feel nothing at all.
But I don't.
Maybe it's because I'm not a daughter of a revengeful ninjutsu master. I'm daughter of Hamato Yoshi. A men who raised four mutated turtle brothers. A sensei who teaches them. A first person ever to say "I love you, Miwa".

I cough as smoke finds its way to my langs. I cannot breath when drags get into my system. A wave of pain hits me again as his boot meets with my stomach. I hit the nearest wall and almost land on my kneeses. I don't 'cause no matter how it hurts I'm willing to give him pleasure of winning with me. He can try to break me, but he can never win with me.
I wait for my so-called father to find me. And then I realize I'm not eleven anymore. I realize the things I see are not true. I realize the nightmare is over.
I pray not to scream when I wake up.