-1Shnookered
Little continuation of the previous chapter, guess what Tifa and Yuffie were organizing?
Disclaimer: I own jack squat
--
This was hell, he was sure of it. There could be no other way of describing what was currently causing his brain to pool out onto the floor.
Whoever invented double dates needed to be shot. Along with the guy who made meetings last for over half an hour.
So here he was, half drunk in a bar with a gloomy expression, while Yuffie and Tifa had been able to hold what was now… he quickly checked his watch… a two hour conversation. What the two were like on the phone were nothing compared to how they talked in person, and it was only getting worse the more alcohol they consumed. He was starting to act like Cloud, who was sitting across the table from him.
"So what's Cloud like in the sack?" Yuffie asked. The effect was instantaneous, all 3 other people involved spat out their drinks and gave Yuffie the 'WTF?' look. "What?"
"Yuffie, me and Cloud haven't…"
"Oh. Really? What about that time 4 years ago under the H-"
"So did you hear about Shera?" Tifa said quickly, before having to reveal what could be considered as too much information.
"What about her, she finally get tired of Cid's cursing, because if I was her there would be no way in hell I'd stand up with his mouth."
"She's pregnant."
"No fucking way!"
"I know! Isn't it amazing?"
Scratch the whole pooling the brains onto the floor. It had been pumped out of his head then bulldozed and purged with fire and salt. And no potential Yuffie on Tifa grinding after 5 more drinks could save it.
Actually… "Psst. Cloud." Reno whispered, the two ladies in a world of their own.
"Yes?" Cloud asked, possibly unconsciously.
"Got any… manipulate materia on you?" The assassin asked.
"Why?"
"So we can leave with some shred of sanity." He whispered hastily indicating Yuffie and Tifa, who were turning around to face them.
"What are you talking about?" Yuffie asked innocently.
"N-nothing… Guy stuff." Cloud poorly covered up.
"Y-yeah, cars and hoes." Cloud face palmed at Reno's addition.
"Ugh, men."
"I know I mean you know they're fantasizing about us doing it, you know?"
"Please, if he wasn't so fucked up in the head at the time, he would have tried to convince me and Aerith to kiss and make up back before meteorfall."
"Didn't y-" Yuffie began.
"No."
"Could have sworn…"
"No."
"Bu-"
"No."
"Okay then, nothing happened between you two, I get it." Yuffie conceded. "Okay, who's up for hitting the clubs?" Yuffie shouted enthusiastically, she wasn't in one of those 'take no for an answer moods'.
--
"This isn't soo bad is it Re-Re?" Yuffie slurred. The two were
"Guess not Yuff, but do you know how long you and Teef were talking for?"
"Enough for me to get totally Shnookered!" Yuffie said, pumping her fist into the air in victory before turning to look at the dance floor "Pfft… look at chocobo butt."
"What the hell is he doing?"
"The fuck should I know but…" She took another sip of her drink and pulled out her camera phone, complete with video function "Its going on the internet."
--
I may have plugged one of my own fics here, if you can guess which one and which part plugged it. You win an undetermined prize!