Chapter and poem written for our beloved pitcher, Mihashi Ren.

To the one I loved and hated
One who always stayed and waited
If there are two words which are due
Then I can only say "Thank you,"

You often pushed me to the ground
Feeling hurt, I then cried and frowned
Yet you give your hand and help me
To tell me what I need to see

...

Chapter 6
Sacrificing what's important

Sweat beaded down his face as Kanō kept a wary glance at Abe, while the catcher wrote down the numbers onto the small white board panel. The tip of the marker often made that unnerving screeching sound, which only made Kanō fluster even more. The pitcher had no qualms in participating in any exercises that improved their skills, but the one presented before them was simply out of the question. Kanō would flick his pupils to his side to check on Mihashi, and he knew that his friend suffered the same thoughts and feelings.

They hadn't talk yet since they squabbled – though it certainly felt more like a one-sided bicker to Kanō – last night, but he was sure that he and Mihashi were one in both mind and spirit about the problem they faced right now. Kanō hadn't expected their coach to let them work on an eye exercise. It would take a lot of effort and excuse for him to sidetrack Abe from the drill – heck, it might even need a miracle for him to pull it off. There was no question that Abe's suspicion would grow into soaring heights if he tried to stall once more.

Kanō noticed Abe pulled up the marker from the panel and then their eyes met. It was obvious that Abe was keeping the same degree of attention towards Kanō, perhaps being watchful of his moves. Kanō tried to veer away from the gaze, understanding that Abe's ideas still ran wild inside his head. If he was to do something once more to steer Abe from Mihashi, Kanō recognized that it would only feed Abe's curiosity even more. As the days passed by, Abe (and even Hanai) were keeping their eyes over their blond pitcher – something that Kanō had to work on.

"You're not doing this because you want to be placed on the top of the order, are you?" Kanō suddenly asked, both for the purpose of distracting the other teen and discerning his thoughts. He only received a blank expression from the catcher.

"I can't say," Abe answered. "The batting order is something chosen by will or whim, but it affects the offense as importantly as how we place the players in the defensive positions." He answered neutrally. "I'm not saying I don't prefer the top order, but as long as I know what to do, I don't mind the placement." He said.

For someone like Abe, I have to say that he's a player who needs to be in the top of the order, Kanō thought, although, as he considered the other male's response, Abe did have an acceptable point. He already had proven how astute his thinking was, and he expected that Abe carried it over when he played as batter. His mental strength was nowhere near petty; Abe was someone who could be placed in any position as long as the game called it. But is he trying to stall me on this one too? Kanō asked himself.

"But I'm sure that Mihashi would be placed in bottom of the order–" both he and Abe looked at the blond pitcher "–because of his role for tomorrow's game." Kanō said, placing his gaze back at Abe. "I'm not saying that this is not important, but–" Kanō bit his lips "–I don't want Mihashi's eyes to get strained after having the afternoon drills." He reasoned to the catcher. The latter gave him a long stare, his pupils dropping down once on the panel where he had written the numbers. After he placed a same gaze at Mihashi, he turned to Kanō and said,

"I insist." Kanō felt dismayed and nervous at the same time. "I'm just going to do it once, and I'll tell the rest to coach." Abe mentioned. He tucked the panel atop his legs, hands already prepared to flash it once Mihashi was ready to begin. "I mean," he whipped his eyes towards the wary Kanō, "there's nothing wrong with it, right?" He said, adding an amused intonation at his last word. Kanō remarked him silently. Abe pulled his eyes away and placed them back at Mihashi. "Are you ready, Mihashi?" He asked.

But Abe noticed the expression of apprehension practically written over the pitcher's face. Once again, he saw the vacant look within his piercing eyes. His silver irises were surely striking, to the point that Abe felt uneasy when he stared back to Mihashi's gazes. But, even if little by little, Abe felt he was getting used to seeing Mihashi's unmitigated looks. Right now, he could see the signs of worry and concern, of fear and discomfort floating mad on his almost lifeless orbs. "Mihashi," Abe called his name once more, but he was still unresponsive. Abe leaned forward and looked at the blond. "Mihashi!"

Mihashi was visibly startled. He almost literally jumped from his spot as Abe's voice suddenly came into him from so close. His eyes were wide as he looked at Abe, while his face contorted into that fear-stricken look. "I-I'm sorry…" The pitcher muttered.

Abe merely scowled. He could noticeably see the telltale signs of exhaustion that blemished the pitcher. The lines under Mihashi's eyes were considerably darker and he would often loll down if left alone. It had been hard to realize since Mihashi still perfected his pitches, but Abe had discovered it when they started practicing the four-sectioned pitches.

"Are you sleeping at night?" Abe asked him.

"Yep," It was Mihashi's quick mumble. The catcher appeared unconvinced.

"You're lying," Abe speedily replied, eyes still fixed at the blond pitcher. He removed the panel off his lap – Abe noticed Kanō breathed gratefully at that – and focused his attention back to the pitcher. "Are you concerned about tomorrow's game?" Or are you concerned about something else? Abe added in thought, as he watched Mihashi bent his head down, his soft strands of gold covering his eyes. Abe heaved out a nearly exasperated sigh.

"Mihashi, do you enjoy being in the baseball club?" Abe only had half of the rights to ask that question – and he still felt a little awkward because of those words that came from their coach – but, right now, it concerned him as much as the game for tomorrow. "You're always nervous during practice too." He only continued, looking at how Mihashi silently whimpered. "We're four days into this camp, but I don't feel like I've gotten any closer to you." Abe almost scoffed. Apparently, he was only trying to because it was the only way to ensure his influence over the pitcher. Even though it was slightly sickening, he had to sugarcoat his words just to make it sound more pleasing to the ears. Just remember you're that pitcher who throws slow pitches, Abe mentally remarked. He felt a wave of nausea washed over him. Just what am I thinking…?

"When I talk to you, you don't really answer me." Abe maintained, twisting his head from the blond, watching the other guys instead. That's fine for me, but it would hurt our plays in the long run, Abe also added. His eyes narrowed a little as another thought appeared inside his head. "And, just now, I was concerned about you, but you lied to me." He said, his pupils jumping to the sides and locking into Mihashi's figure. But despite his overall displeasure for handling their pitcher, Abe was as little bit as concerned for him, even so when the other pitcher, Kanō, was particularly protective of Mihashi. It was as if Mihashi was just as fragile as he appeared; snap him once and he'd break apart so easily. And because Coach told me to look after him, I'm doing my best to have a conversation. But he was alarmed when Mihashi sobbed once, and then tears flowed out from his eyes.

"This looks as if I'm bullying you, you know?" Abe quickly reprimanded him, his voice much gaudier than before. He extended his hands and lunged for the panel once more. "I'll say this just in case. But tomorrow, don't throw at full strength. Just pitch according to my signs… or else we're going to lose." Abe positioned the white board panel again. "Just one trial, Mihashi, and then go ahead and rest." Abe ignored Kanō's drones from beside him. Readjusting the stopwatch, Abe watched as Mihashi slowly wiped off the tears from his eyes and—

"Mihashi," a shadow loomed over them. Abe and Kanō looked at the person who interrupted them and saw that it was Hanai. The tall teen cringed at Abe's seeming glare, but otherwise pretended that he wasn't affected or something. "I heard from Kanō that you always bring a spare stopwatch with you." Hanai said as he showed them one. "Ours isn't working and Momoe-san didn't have any replacement." He added. "Care to let us borrow yours for a while?" He asked the blond pitcher who gradually turned his face towards him. Hanai looked curiously when Mihashi looked like as if a wreck.

"Go on," Kanō suddenly spoke up. "We know how important this drill is so you should let them borrow your stopwatch, Mihashi." The other pitcher nudged his friend. Abe landed a cautious pair of eyes to the other teen, but he did not speak outright.

Mihashi gave Kanō and Abe a nervous glance, before he slowly stood up and followed Hanai up to their rooms, where their bags were transferred into. The blond pitcher managed to slink a questioning stare to Kanō before he and Hanai vanished into the staircases.

"If I were that stupid, I would say that you just don't want me to speak to Mihashi." Abe voiced out, pulling Kanō out of his trance. The catcher glanced to his side and met Kanō's slightly apologetic eyes. "I know you're aware, but this isn't the first time you tried something to let Mihashi get away." Abe pointed out. Now that Mihashi was not with them, Abe could speak more freely without inviting any mystified questions and stares. "I couldn't help but think that there's a secret you and Mihashi are trying to hide." He finally stated his suspicion. Kanō remained silent for a while.

"And if I had the impression that you were really that stupid, I would answer 'I'm not sure what you're talking about, Abe.'" Kanō answered, directly confronting Abe's skeptical remark. "But you're smart, so it's obvious that you'd know of it." Kanō added. "But can you blame me if I want to hide a secret?" He asked, but he made his tone soft and devoid of any unnatural emotion. "I'm aware that you're bothered with the way I'm trying to hide things, but I can't still say that I trust you enough." He told the other teen, though their eyes were plastered over Momoe-san who suddenly stood in the middle of the room.

"Minna," her strong feminine voice attracted their attentions, with some of the boys temporarily taking their eyes off from their current exercise. Kanō and Abe only regarded with half-attention, since they were in the middle of a particularly serious conversation. She flashed them a smile as she regarded each one of them with a fleeting glance – though Kanō did not miss the slightly lingering gaze Abe received. "I know I informed you that we'll be having our first practice game." Everyone nodded. "Well, I'm happy to inform you that we're having the practice match with Sakitama High School tomorrow and…"

"Tomorrow," Kanō said, which made Abe look back at him. "Perhaps, you'll know something tomorrow." He added, which made the catcher looked baffled and curious as the same time. The two of them had finally ignored the coach who continued to speak in front of the team, since the two of them were too focused on each other. Kanō slowly glanced at his side, eyes dropping over Abe's figure. "I'll let you know some things tomorrow and perhaps everything else will rest upon how you accept it… or not." The other pitcher said obscurely. For the rest of night, Abe's mind was puzzled about what Kanō meant by that.

The next day

Nishiura's Baseball team ogled at the sight in front of them. Sakitama High School might not be well-known in comparison to those famed schools, but at least they could pride themselves on how they gave emphasis to sports. Though the field where they stood in right now was not dedicated to baseball alone, much of it was designated for their most favorite sport, a clear testament on how they gave attention for the game. Perhaps Hanai was correct to assume that once they started comparing this to their field back in Nishiura, the difference would be endless. Wasting no time after, Coach Momoe called for a warm-up.

They had practiced together days before this one, traded throws and catches under the blazing sun. At one point, Abe was just so certain that he'd finally discovered the most ideal pitcher – one who'd throw so accurately, so precisely, yet would never shake off his signs – that he felt that victory was the only option for Nishiura. He felt glad that Mihashi would pitch just the way Abe wanted it; his calls were certain and Mihashi had no reason to fear. Just as long as he was able to control the pitcher, Abe would have no problem with their battery.

But, right now, he could feel agitation. The ball he'd receive from the blond felt heavy, as if Mihashi was able to deliver his very emotions with his pitches. He only looked as his mitt, then bounded his eyes back to Mihashi, who – as soon noticed the brewing tension – cowered and covered his head protectively with his hands. Abe only frowned at his antic. It's not that he's throwing at full speed, Abe said in thought. He's just so nervous right now, he concluded and began to approach their pitcher. Mihashi shrunk as Abe closed on him.

"Miha—"

"Mihashi," a voice called out from behind them. Mihashi and Abe looked at the source and saw Kanō walked towards them. Kanō traded a brief smile to Abe – the catcher felt worried by that unusual gesture – before he turned to his friend way back from middle school. "Come on, I'm going to tell you something." Kanō offered his hand in front of the blond teen, but Mihashi only seemed clueless about what his friend spoke about. Suddenly, Kanō lunged forward, grabbed Mihashi's hand and started to drag his friend pitcher away from the bullpen. "Sorry, Abe," he managed to say. "I'm going to borrow Mihashi for a bit."

Abe only looked at him suspiciously, but he thought that it might be a way for Kanō to lighten up Mihashi's feelings considerably. Given that they were friends before, Kanō could give Mihashi a breather, and make him less nervous. At least Kanō was doing something for Mihashi, Abe pointed it himself. He still didn't know how to handle Mihashi right now, and it wouldn't hurt if he let Kanō do the rest. But, eventually, Mihashi would have to stop relying to Kanō… because Abe was the catcher. He and Mihashi were the battery.

Right?

. . . . . . . . .

Kanō pulled Mihashi to the sides, in a certain clearing adjacent to the field and Sakitama's nearest school building. Until that point, Mihashi had no idea why Kanō asked for him so suddenly. He'd only let his friend tug over his arm as he guided him to that particular place. Mihashi stared ahead, even though visionless he was. He waited for the other teen to speak, to explain why he had to take him away from the field, from Nishiura's sights. But Kanō's silence made Mihashi worried; the blond pitcher could only frown at his friend's wordlessness.

He was pulled out of his musings when he bumped into Kanō, unaware that the latter had stopped treading. Mihashi's face flattened against Kanō's shoulder. As he recovered, the pitcher sent an inquisitive expression back to his friend and placed his free hand over his face, touching it on reflex, before his whole body twitched into that familiar gesture. "I-I'm s-s-sorry, Shū-chan," Mihashi was quick to apologize. "I'm not… l-looking at where I… s-step." He explained, bowing his head towards the other pitcher. But Mihashi's attention was caught when he heard Kanō chuckled after he said his sorry.

"That's fine," Kanō said, between his huffs of laughter. But standing as close to him right now, Mihashi could easily hear the mild change in Kanō's tone. He sounded nervous, and his chuckles were dry, as if his merriment was stripped off its hilarity. Kanō spoke in a tone that made Mihashi feel uneasy. Mihashi could practically feel that something was wrong with his friend. The blond pitcher knew Kanō was trying to hide it, but Mihashi had already lost his sense of color. There were only black and white; there were only truth and lies. "I'm sorry I didn't inform you." Kanō said.

"Shū-chan," Mihashi called out the other teen's name, and he heard a silent whimper from Kanō. Mihashi's frown had grown even deeper. "Is there… something wrong?" He finally asked his friend. They had been through the tough times and it was not the time for them to stall. Back then, the two of them were the sources of their own strength; Mihashi held on to Kanō as his savior, while Kanō kept Mihashi's hope as his bridge to move on. "I won't feel good… if you're not… f-feeling well too." He told his friend. Kanō only laughed once more, only to stop midway with a raspy snivel.

"I know you're just nervous, Ren," Kanō maintained that stern voice. Mihashi looked at him – looked at where he heard his last words – and held that solemn grimace. The blond pitcher looked at his hand as Kanō started to squeeze on it. "I know you're just really, really nervous, Ren." Kanō repeated. Kanō just grinned wide, knowing that Mihashi wouldn't see it. But, at the same time, just as the sides of his eyes crinkled as his lips curled up, tears suddenly brimmed over his lids. "And I'm sorry if I can't help you with that,"

Mihashi shuddered slightly when he heard that word from Kanō. 'Sorry,' Shū-chan said, Mihashi thought as he retraced his pupils back to head level, as if he could still see Kanō with his eyes. It was the one word that Mihashi had requested him not to use, not when they already started to heal. Mihashi only felt saddened even more when Kanō muttered that word to him, he only felt pained when his friend tried to apologize to him. There was no reason for Shū-chan to apologize. Why would someone even apologize if that person was faultless to begin with?

"Shū-chan, I—" Mihashi started to give a response when he felt Kanō's gripped over his hand tightened even more. It was as if Shū-chan was pouring all of his feelings into that hold. It felt that he did not want to let go, but, at the same time, Mihashi could sense the feeling of misery Shū-chan hid inside his heart. The blond pitcher looked back at Kanō before he stared yet again at their hands – Shū-chan's hand cradling his own. Mihashi slowly placed his free hand over Kanō's and held it warmly.

But Kanō immediately let go, suddenly surprising Mihashi.

"It's the end of the line… for me," Kanō spoke as soon, voice turned cold and sharp. Mihashi suddenly froze upon hearing the harsh tone from his friend, his eyes still plastered over his hands that Shū-chan abruptly pushed away. "I finally realized the truth. I want to help you, Ren, but life is just unfair." He started to tell the blond pitcher. "I understand that only one of us can truly achieve the dreams we've made." He added, watching Mihashi listened impassively. "Because one has to throw away his dreams…" Kanō said. "I'm going to give up pitching, Ren."

Mihashi's silvery orbs widened upon hearing those words. The blond pitcher sent a confused look over Kanō, but it was obvious that he had already begun to crumble. Tears easily welled over Mihashi's eyes, which threatened to spill at any moment those seconds. Mihashi felt his heart sunk as he heard that, as his knees trembled when those words registered in his mind. What is S-Shū-chan saying? Mihashi denied in question. He perfectly understood what Kanō meant, but when one could not accept, one had to deny.

"I'll stop pitching because I don't deserve it." Kanō spoke, observing how Mihashi's expression turned into a clear picture of devastation. "I don't deserve it because I am the reason why you ended up like this. I don't deserve to pitch because all I did was to watch you break until you can't go on any further!" Kanō said loud. Even though how much he tried to hold it out, he could not stop the tears from forming over his eyes. But Kanō steeled himself, refusing to let it fall down, to run over his face. No… not at that point. Mihashi had to know first before he could let himself be drowned in sadness.

"But… B-But…" Mihashi responded, stuttering on his words. Without knowing it, his tears drove over his cheeks. Mihashi could not understand what he truly felt, but he knew that his entirety was starting collapse, one by one, little by little. His heart ached. His chest felt heavy. But he did not know if he was sad. He did not know if he was lonely. All he knew was that heavy feeling on his heart – a pain that settled over him, a pain that he could not push away. He was in pain. Mihashi was hurt.

"Y-You're h-h-happy when… you pitch, Shū-chan!" Mihashi continued to speak, which made his eyes spew out more fluid down over his face. Now, Mihashi knew he was crying and it was becoming harder to speak. His sobs started to take over his speech. "I know how h-happy you a-a-are… when you throw the b-ball. I know how h-happy you are when you s-strike out a batter!" He continued to say as he started to approach Kanō. Mihashi reached his hands forward, trying to find where Kanō was at that moment. "Shū-chan, please d-don't… tell me… that," Mihashi pleaded. "I don't w-want to hear it. I know you're happy when—"

"Stop talking as if you really know happiness!" Kanō's angry voice roared out. A pair of hands suddenly shoved Mihashi away, effectively pushing the pitcher skidding to the ground. Kanō Shūgo looked down at Mihashi; his eyes gave out an accusing stare against his friend. "Don't speak as if you know all! Don't tell me about happiness when you don't know the full truth behind it!" He spat. "Happiness doesn't come because you wanted it! Happiness only exists because of the sacrifices made by the people around you!" Kanō said angrily.

"I'm going to stop pitching because that's the only way for me to repay all the happiness I took from you." Kanō continued. "You aren't the only one who suffered; I also felt all the sadness because of what happened. And seeing you root for me even now only made me guiltier than before," he told the other pitcher as his face scrunched up in sorrow. "Did you think you can make me happy because you wanted me to continue pitching? Did you think you can give me back all happiness because you wanted the best for me?" Kanō asked him those pointed questions, only half-aware of the pain that thronged deep within Mihashi. "It did not even make me happy! It only made me feel that I'm the one to be blamed!" Kanō clutched on his jersey, just over his chest. "In fact, it felt that you are the one blaming me, Ren!" He reproached him. "Just because you are worried for me, you are pushing me to pitch my best, to enjoy pitching once more… stop joking me!" He maintained in that reproving tone. "All it told me was on how much of a failure I really am… and how much you want to say that I am at fault."

He paused for a while as he saw Mihashi knelt down over the ground, eyes pouring those clear streams of tears. The blond pitcher was wordless as he sent those silvery orbs to him. Mihashi's mouth quivered open, but he was only silent. Kanō could feel how much he had broken Mihashi with those words, but Kanō felt he had just died for breaking his friend down. If someone was to play the fool, then Kanō would take that part. If someone had to play the role of the villain, who else would best play it but him?

"But perhaps you're right to blame me," Kanō worded. "If I had not been there, then it would have not happened," the brown-haired pitcher inched forward, towards Mihashi. He stopped upon reaching the spot just beside the pitcher, who was still on his knees. "I'll not be surprised if it crossed your mind once." He said, with his voice rather soft. "I'll not be surprised if Ren even thought that it all happened because Ren was the better pitcher than I," Kanō said, knowing that it was the breaking point. Just as when he finished, Mihashi finally broke down, as planted his head down the ground and wailed out loud.

Kanō gave him a final glance, before he stepped away from the blond pitcher. As he trod forward, he heard the bush rustled in front of him, before it revealed the catcher's figure. It only meant that Abe was listening from that distance, a turn of event that Kanō already expected to happen. Kanō watched as Abe glared hard against him; his stare was enough to inform Kanō how displeased Abe was. But there was nothing for him to answer to… except for one.

Kanō stepped once again, but Abe move to the side, apparently blocking his path. Abe's greyish orbs demanded for an explanation. It was just plain damn clear that Kanō aimed to destroy Mihashi's morale. It was their first game as a team, and it surely made Abe suspicious of Kanō's motives. Why did Kanō tell those harsh words to Mihashi? Perhaps it was the grand question that had been formed just from watching the scene unfold. Abe was disconcerted with what happened, and he wouldn't let this farce simply pass, not without receiving any explanation.

But Kanō only muttered some words… and Abe was surprise-stricken. As his gaze faltered away from Kanō after hearing that statement from the latter, Abe did not even move to stop the other pitcher from leaving. Kanō slowly moved away from them, away from the devastation he had made. And Abe was just so startled that he hadn't even stopped him. After realizing it for some seconds, the catcher made his way towards Mihashi's side. Abe only stared at the pitcher at first. He slowly dropped down beside him and started to calm the pitcher down.

. . . . . . . . .

'Hanai, I have a favor to ask you,' Kanō told him that yesterday. Since Hanai was partly curious and wanted to get to know Nishiura's other pitcher more, he accepted as soon as Kanō asked him. He had no problem with that. In fact, he was slightly glad that Kanō was starting to interact with them after those two long weeks. He had really noticed that Kanō was practically glued over Mihashi during those days, and he couldn't deny the thought that Kanō was just too protective of Mihashi. Well, given on how Kanō acted after he and Mihashi 'quarreled', Hanai could say that it truly affected Kanō as much as it affected Mihashi as well.

But all Hanai discovered was the proof of Kanō's concern for Mihashi. He was surprised when Kanō asked him: if there would come a situation wherein Mihashi was obviously wedged between Abe's stressful words, Hanai just needed to butt in and save Mihashi from the awkward scene. He felt flabbergasted about the elaborate imagination Kanō had, but when the latter told him that it was bound to happen, Hanai only nodded his head in response. Why would Abe even do that Mihashi? He just thought that afternoon, but it was soon answered when nighttime came.

It did appear that Abe was bullying Mihashi. When Kanō's eyes landed on him, Hanai quickly understood that it was the signal for him to move in. Excusing himself from Mizutani, Hanai quickly made up a reason for him to interrupt Abe from his frightening 'confrontation' of the blond pitcher. 'Mihashi, I heard from Kanō that you always bring a spare stopwatch with you…' And his next set of lies came following his first. Hanai tried his best to keep that straight line over his face, as not to make Abe suspicious of him.

And that went well. He had taken Mihashi away from Abe. Perhaps even Hanai thought that he only did that to help their pitcher. Kanō did tell him that he was going to apologize to Mihashi, and Hanai realized that with Abe practically seething just by Mihashi's throat their pitcher would end up distracted by the catcher. At least let them make up first, Hanai thought, mentally stating it to Abe. The catcher had to wait for the things to become better once more.

But Hanai never imagined of what Kanō just did to Mihashi right now.

"So, do I need to give you a round of applause?" Hanai spoke to him, though his eyes were directed at the particular teen crying in the center of the clearing. "Or do I have to thank you for destroying the morale of our pitcher for this game?" He added, obviously sounding sarcastic just from the tone of his voice. The tallest teen from Nishiura's team had his arms crossed over his chest, as he stood from a certain distance away from the spot where the scene happened. He turned towards Kanō when the other teen finally stopped on his steps.

"You told me you are going to apologize for what you did to him two nights ago," Hanai added reprovingly. Even though he wasn't really part of the quarrel between Kanō and Mihashi, it still concerned him as a part of Nishiura Baseball team. If it at least affected the gameplay of one player, then Hanai understood that there was already an unstated need for them to step into the matter. But never did he expect that Kanō would be doing something so outrageous. Hanai watched Kanō for some seconds. It seemed that the latter refuse to look at him.

"Well," Kanō said as he held his cap's peak, "there's always change of plans," he answered, but it did not even sound so logical to Hanai's part. It was an awful choice to begin with, and it was a decision that Hanai could say he detested.

"And it's a plan that involved crushing our pitcher," Hanai replied by stating the obvious. "You should think of how much damage you can give to Mihashi." He chided him, but Hanai noticed how Kanō's expression remained blank. He shut his lips for some seconds, to give time for the other pitcher to respond to him.

"I know," Kanō answered, voice soft. "I know how painful my words were. I intended to say those words because I know it will make Mihashi feel hurt." The brown-haired pitcher said. Hanai almost felt confused because of Kanō's lack of expression. The pitcher's voice varied in loudness, but still retained that ever-stern tone that laced his words. "That's the only way now to tell Mihashi the truth and that's the only way for him to realize that life isn't so sweet," he added. Hanai wondered briefly, but he understood a huge part why Kanō said those.

"I don't know what happened between the two of you," Hanai just remarked. "Believe me, I do want to know, but I'm not going to force you to tell me." He just said, watching as Kanō's countenance changed a bit. "But what are you intending to happen by making him feel sad?" He asked. "We have a game ahead of us, and you know it's not going to help any of us. For you to tell him words in the most painful way possible, surely there's something you have in mind." Hanai stated his thoughts.

Slowly, Kanō's thin-lipped look turned sour, as a frown began to mar his face. "You're all probably wondering why Mihashi's acts that way. I recognized you know how little confidence Mihashi has for himself," Kanō told Hanai. "I want him to gain that confidence; I want to erase that pitiful personality away from him." He tried to look back at Mihashi, but a pang of guilt washed over him, making him gaze towards the opposite direction instead. "But as long as he remains tied to the last connection of what made him that way, he's never going to change." Kanō explained.

"And by severing this tie you believe Mihashi's going to change for the better," Hanai reworded Kanō's line of thought. Perhaps it would benefit Mihashi in the long run, Hanai considered, but it was not the best time for that. If there was one thing clear to him, then it was Kanō was just hurting. Kanō just felt too bad, felt too sad that he couldn't take it much more and just let the feeling flow away from him. "But what ties are you trying to cut?" Hanai asked him. If there is that thing that hinders Mihashi, then what is it? He added in his thoughts.

But then Hanai only looked startled when Kanō began to grin so wide and flashed him a good-natured smile. Putting his thumb to his chest, Kanō started to speak. "Here," he said at first. "If there is one thing that connects Mihashi to his past, then it's here," he jabbed his thumb harder, "it's me." He told Hanai. "If Mihashi needs to move forward, then he simply needs to know that he should not rely on me too much. Mihashi's being reminded of his past because of me," at that point, even though he still wore that grin, Kanō's tears flowed down from his eyes. "As long as he thinks greatly of me, he won't ever, ever forget his own helplessness." Kanō finally said. "It's all because of me… that's why Mihashi should leave me in order to move ahead," he bowed his head and then cried silently.

Hanai could only watch. With him not knowing anything about these two's past, he could not do anything but observe how they struggled with their daily lives. At least Kanō had finally showed his intention – he only wanted the best for Mihashi. But he decided that he wasn't the guy who was best for Mihashi; that was why he pushed his friend away.

Hanai uncurled his arms from his chest as he approached Kanō's sobbing figure. He only placed a hand over the other teen's shoulder as a sign of support. He already knew that Kanō did not open up much to the other members of the team, so he hadn't had anyone to know how he truly felt. Hanai gave a reassuring squeeze to Kanō's shoulder as he closed his eyes and pondered for the moment. It was the time for them to wait. Probably, Kanō had broken Mihashi once more so that someone could heal him much better than Kanō did.

. . . . . . . . .

So… this is what he wants to happen.

Abe watched as Mihashi cried a river, his tears wetting the dry soil beneath him. Those were certainly harsh words; even Abe could not say anything to the pitcher for those things that he had heard. Abe crouched down to Mihashi's side, observing how a nervous wreck their pitcher had become. All those cries were evidence of the pain and sadness that Mihashi had tried to obscure, which only took mere words to unhide. Abe realized how broken Mihashi was at that time, but as he finally understood what happened, he could not point an accusing finger to the one who did this to him.

In any cases, he can't pitch normally if he's like this.

"I-I'm n-not a-a-a g-good pitcher, I'm not a g-g-good pitcher…" He heard Mihashi mutter as he sobbed. "P-Please don't h-ha-hate me, Shū-chan… Please don't h-h-hate me," he pleaded, but not even realizing that the person he spoke to was not even there anymore. Abe only winced at how terrible Mihashi appeared, at how devastated he sounded. "Please… Y-Y-you're the better p-pitcher… I'm not a g-g-good pitcher…" He haplessly stated, making Abe look more worried.

But he suddenly remembered what their coach told him last night. His cheeks darkened up a little bit, as a light tint of crimson formed over his skin. Abe regarded Mihashi as the latter bent over the ground, smudging the earth with his saddened tears, filling the air with his hopeless pleads. He reached out for Mihashi's pitching hand and pulled it closer to him. The blond's silver irises immediately looked to him; it hadn't stop his tears but it pulled him out of his depressing and broken reverie. "It's all right." Abe said, staring back at those cold orbs. "You're a good pitcher."

Mihashi paused for a second, before his eyes widened up a bit… only for him to spill out more tears. He tried to pull back from Abe's hold, but the catcher didn't let go. "It's not true," he said in contradiction, thinking of what Shū-chan had just told him.

"You are a good pitcher!" Abe answered back, refusing to shun his eyes away from the broken Mihashi.

"That's not true!"

"I said you're a good pitcher!" Abe repeated as he inched forward to Mihashi, in order to send his words more clearly towards the pitcher.

But it seemed that Abe's efforts were in vain. As Mihashi continued to say and believe that he wasn't any good in pitching, Abe watched with his face flushing red. They were left in an awkward situation, a scene that Abe would admit that he was uncomfortable with. Dammit, he muttered in thought. When coach did this to me, I gave in instantly! He added. This guy is so stubborn, he remarked as well. But his attention was shifted back to Mihashi's hand. But honestly, his hand is cold. Abe noted. He isn't just sad. He's also really nervous.

As he continued to grip Mihashi's hand, Abe suddenly noticed something really different with their pitcher's skin. His fingertips are hard. He slowly brushed his own fingers with Mihashi's, lacing his with those cold and clammy digits. Blisters turned into calluses. He continued to examine Mihashi's pale hand. A slider callus. A shoot callus. He discerned them as he knew how those pitches were thrown, and how it affected the pitcher's skin with those types of throw. I wonder how many pitches he threw in order to gain such control of his pitches while making these calluses. Abe grimaced. He's made such an effort…

"I knew it," Mihashi wept. "I shouldn't be pitching…"

It's not that he's stubborn, Abe thought as he listened to the pitcher's words. He doesn't have any confidence in himself. He finally deduced, after hearing out those desolate statements from Mihashi. Even after pitching so much, he still doesn't have any confidence. Abe started to understand. Kanō knows that about Mihashi, but, even so, Mihashi doesn't believe him. Abe continued to say in thought. Mihashi has done so much, but he was stripped off his self-confidence. He felt like he was undeserving. He was hated, but those who hated him hadn't even realized how much effort he gave just to pitch. Abe versed in his head. For someone who had done so much, for someone who had trodden over the most difficult of paths, being denied was one of the most painful feelings. Mihashi had done his best, but he was simply pushed away without them knowing his efforts. Mihashi felt the pain, yet no one understood it. Abe bit his lips. He's done so much… yet he did not even complain once.

Mihashi stilled when he felt Abe's hand held him tighter. He sent his eyes to the catcher.

Though he didn't really see him, Mihashi knew that the other teen was in the verge of tears, as proven by a soft whimper that escaped from Abe's lips before he spoke to him. "You're a good pitcher…" Mihashi heard Abe-kun said. Abe enclosed Mihashi's hand with his own.

…even though you irritate me and make me angry, Abe mentally said as he wiped off the tears that welled over his eyes. "I like you, not just as a pitcher." Abe muttered. "I mean, you're making such an effort!" He bowed down a little before he placed his encouraging stare back at Mihashi. I want to do something for him. I want to be of help to him.

And it clicked inside his mind.

Is that what a catcher is about…?

Mihashi and Abe remained silent for a while, as they shared those stares with one another. But Abe was reeled out when he felt that the hand he held felt warmer.

"Do you… think I'm working hard?" Mihashi asked him.

"I do." I really do.

"I like pitching." Mihashi said.

"I can tell." I can tell how much.

"Really?" Mihashi asked. "You can tell?"

"I can." I really can.

"I… I want to win!"

"We can win!" We can, I tell you.

Abe-kun isn't taken back. Mihashi wondered inside his head. Abe-kun actually accepts me… Shū-chan, even if a twinge of pain tugged on his heart, Mihashi still called his friend, someone accepts me! Shū-chan, someone sees I'm working hard! "I… like you too, Abe-kun!"

"Thank you…" Abe was only able to mutter.

In truth, he was happy that he was able to pull Mihashi out of his misery. But, at that exact moment, he finally understood what Kanō wanted to do all along.

Kanō understood Mihashi's problem. Kanō knew that Mihashi looked at himself so lowly. Perhaps – no – Kanō did his best to help Mihashi change, but, in the end, the blond pitcher remained doubtful and uncertain of own skills. But the realization struck him hard: just like what Kanō said to Mihashi earlier, happiness would come from the sacrifices of the people around them. And then Abe knew that Kanō had just sacrificed himself just to set Mihashi free from the chains that held him, to the past that chewed him up and spat him out like nothing. Kanō plotted for this to happen, in order for Mihashi to realize the truth…

Because Kanō understood that because he looked at him as the better pitcher, Mihashi could never, ever move forward.

Abe held an openmouthed expression when he remembered what Kanō told him mere minutes before.

"I'm done. It's now your turn, Abe. Take care of your pitcher."

- Chapter End -

...

We stand only after we fall
We push and break whatever wall
We do heal after we are pained
We challenge the world unrestrained

These words are what I heard from you
One I despise but cherish too
Perhaps these are only but part
Of how dear you are in my heart

Happy Birthday, Mihashi-kun! (May 17)

The poem's more like what Mihashi-kun wants to say to Abe-kun. :)