Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! Lawyers will you please put down the torches and pitchforks now?! UNHAND ME YOU FIENDS! I swear I will beset the combined power of Stan, Rita, and Galahad on you! And Just A Little Bit Dramatic lent me Jock, Aquamaquisha, and Ophelia (her little army)!
This is dedicated to the fantastic, wicked, awesome, really, seriously bad ass Just A Little Bit Dramatic, because she is fantastic, wicked, awesome, and really seriously bad ass. So there.
This is ALSO dedicated to Addie W. Give that girl a round of applause. Without her extremely helpful story 'Edward's Uploading Solution', you wouldn't be reading this, because I'm way too stupid and technologically inept to figure it out on my own. Thanks so Addie! If YOU reading this are having problems uploading, read aforementioned story. It's a life saver.
This is mostly a fluff chapter, to give Edward and Bella a chance to clear the air before the plot picks up. GUESS WHAT? No cliffhangers this time.
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I watched Edward's retreating figure with a rising sense of dread. I knew it, I knew it, I knew this would happen. I sent Lazarus a panicked look that conveyed every emotion coursing through my veins. Not that he couldn't feel it.
'Don't sit there, Isabella, go after him!' Came his urgent response. I hastened to obey him and jumped up, running up the stairs to Edward's room, where I felt him go. Approaching his door with caution, my actions almost hesitant, I wondered if his reaction could possibly get any worse.
Of course it can, I chided myself, don't disrespect Murphy. He knows what he's talking about. I braced myself and softly rapped on the doorframe. There were a few moments of silence, Edward brooding on answering. He knew who it was.
Just as I was about to take the initiative and barge in, he spoke. "Come in, if you must." The words resounded quietly and resignedly from within. I gave myself a small mental pep talk before grabbing the handle and swinging the door open.
Edward was sitting on his couch, his head in his hands. I cautiously treaded across the room to sit next to him. He didn't move. Neither one of us said anything for a long time. I stared blankly out the window, waiting for him to move, say something, anything. "Who are those people?" His voice surprised me.
I started, and then answered "They…" Before I could get anything else out, he spoke again.
"Why are they here?"
"Th…"This time I couldn't even get out a full syllable when he began talking again.
"What gives them the right to be here? They are just a couple of rogues, passing through, and when they're gone they'll be nothing more than a distant, unpleasant memory." His volume increased with each moment. "Then we can put this behind us, forever." He stood abruptly and stopped in front of the window, pacing. I sat for a moment, then joined him. He ceased pacing and gazed out the window, looking at the scenery. We were silent, admiring the view, the atmosphere heavy and oppressive, weighing down our hearts, beating or not.
"Edward…" I tried almost hesitantly, but once again, I couldn't get too far without his outburst.
"No! They are lying! For some twisted, sick purpose! I will not put up with it! I refuse to! It's nonsense; some psychopathic babble. They must be insane. All the more reason for them to leave, permanently. I'll make certain they never return!" I could almost palpably feel the heat of his rage.
In a moment of sheer desperation, I sent him a wave of calm so strong it nearly knocked him unconscious, and he staggered back, disoriented. "What?" He questioned dazedly. I vaguely wondered if I sounded like that when he dazzled me.
I gave a sheepish shrug. "That was me, sorry. I panicked," Then gave what I hoped was a winning smile. He didn't return it.
"That was you?" He breathed. The look on his face was actually rather comical, with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.
"Yes. Bit of a shocker, isn't it?" He nodded dumbly, his expression swiftly changing to one of pain; it would make anyone think he was being tortured. I felt a stab in my heart; I was the cause of his agony. I made a move to approach him, but he raised a hand, signaling he needed a moment. At least, that's what I hoped it meant.
At last, he croaked out, "Why…?" I bit my lip, and started wringing my hands; a nervous habit. In a sudden move that surprised even me, I reached out and grabbed his hand. He tensed for a moment, and then relaxed. I pressed his shoulders down, and tilted my head upward, leveling my face to his.
I saw an ocean in his topaz eyes. There was anger, betrayal, pain, and predominantly, drowning all other emotions, love. I grimaced and led him back to couch, facing me. Once we were seated, I found I couldn't bear the intensity of his eyes, and had to look away. I felt a smooth, cold, marble hand brush my cheek, and I leaned into it, reveling in the feeling.
"So, it's true?" he stated more than asked, but still hoping against hope that it wasn't true, that I was human, that the most important truth he held dear hadn't been shattered.
"Yes," I answered softly, hating myself for hurting him.
"You really are my guardian angel," his smile wavered, and didn't reach his eyes. I loved that he was trying act normal, to accept it, for my sake. "Then again, I suppose I always knew that, didn't I?"
I smiled wryly in response. "Where should I begin?"
He smiled his crooked grin, and answered, "The beginning would be nice. How about why you kept this from me?"
My entire body shook with suppressed emotion, as the reason why I had kept it from him pressed the barriers I had erected around it, attempting to drown me. "I didn't want to! I swear I didn't, but I had no choice! I had to, I had to!"
Edward leaned forward and took my face in hands, murmuring, "Shh, Bella, shh, it's alright, shh." I took a deep breath and calmed myself, and blushed at my outburst. Edward grinned in response. "Want to try that again?" He teased.
I nodded gratefully, with no hint of humor. "After…well, after, we collectively decided that it would be best if we separated, to make it harder find us. Lazarus and Caleb went their own ways, and I came here. I wasn't expecting to find anything in Forks except a lot of trees. How wrong I was," I grinned, laughing. " And then I met you, and was never happier." His eyes lit up at this. "I vowed that you would never know, as much as for your protection as mine."
Edward frowned. "From what? What did you feel so strongly about to lie about all this time? There had to be a reason."
I ducked my head. "I'm really very, very sorry about that." I whispered, not meeting his eyes. "It killed me, for you to be so open, so honest, with me, and the only thing I could reciprocate with was lies. This is a relief, in a way. I can finally confess my sins." I purposefully avoided the other part of his question; it was better to let the past remain the past, in this case.
Edward said nothing as silence once again reigned supreme. "How…is this…possible?" He struggled to find words.
I sighed. "Didn't you ever wonder Edward? Why you could never hear my thoughts? Why I smelled so absolutely delicious? Why I wasn't afraid of you, repelled by natural instincts? All the clues were there."
He brooded on this for a while. "I just wasn't smart enough to find them," he muttered, half to himself.
"No," I said forcefully. "I pulled a blindfold over your eyes. It's not your fault; it's mine. I couldn't let you see."
His face was confused. "What do you mean, you 'pulled a blindfold over my eyes'?"
"How to explain…" I pondered how he would best understand. I decided to wing it, since there were no helpful food analogies to explain this one, the way he had done for me so long ago now, it seemed. "I stopped your thought processes, to put it simply. You would focus on the situation, come close to an answer of some kind, but other thoughts would intrude, distract you, and the epiphany would subtly be wiped out of your mind. I forced you to forget. Through no mistake of yours, I might add. That was all me." I snorted. "What a wonderful thing to boast of, 'I destroyed my love's free will in a selfish desire to keep my secret hidden while he was caring and honest enough to share his, of equal magnitude, with me.'"
Edward rubbed circles in my palm comfortingly. "I know that whatever you did, you did because you had to. I forgive you. I trust you. I love you…I always will." I choked back a sob at his heartfelt, sincere words.
Tears welled up in my eyes. "How can you say that? I deceived you, you can't trust me. You have no idea…absolutely no idea what I've done." I didn't say anything more, for fear of breaking down completely.
It seems as though karma was after vengeance, however, because after a second a huge, ripping sound erupted from my chest and I utterly lost it. Hot, miserable tears streamed down my face in rivers, and I bent over, my hair falling in front of my face.
I pulled my knees into my chest, wrapping my arms around them, forming a ball, and drew great shuddering breaths, rocking back and forth, my guilt suffocating me. Edward's stone arms encircled me, and he crooned meaningless comforts that I didn't hear, but appreciated nonetheless. After a while, the tears dried up and my throat was raw. I cleared it, ashamed that I had broken down not once but twice.
"Not going to break down again, are you?" he joked, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. His face was shadowed with concern, but still soft with emotion.
"Yeah, I think I'm good now," my voice was quiet and scratchy, husky. I mused over what my face must look like, before deciding not to think such negative thoughts. It was bad enough he saw me like this, I didn't even want to go there.
"So…" Edward began, desperately needing answers but not wanting to upset me. I was instantly reminded of me with my theories, deciding to be hard on him and demand he ask me everything.
I sniffed, and smiled at his thoughtfulness. "Go ahead. I know you have questions." I most certainly had when I was told his secret.
"Right. Do you have a halo?" He snickered, probably at thought of me with a halo. I almost laughed, irony of how I had asked him if he slept in coffins or perished in sunlight in the same manner sinking in.
"No, but I do have wings," I answered truthfully.
"Wings?" He was having difficulty wrapping his head around the concept. His eyes narrowed, his lips tightening in thought as he tried to picture it. I saved him the trouble.
"Of course. Would you like to see them?" I asked shyly, not sure how he would respond. He blinked and nodded his assent.
I stood and walked to the center of the room. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes, concentrating unnecessarily. This was something that came naturally. I unfurled them slowly, not wanting to startle him.
I opened my eyes to see his reaction. He was breath taken, awed, at the sight of them. They extended eight feet out from tip to tip, and were a solid royal blue, arching and swooping, with graceful lines and curves; enough to make any artist jealous, they could never paint them, though many had tried when catching a glimpse of us. The feathers glistened and shimmered, creating their own ethereal glow that radiated around the room.
I waited anxiously for him to speak. I recalled him saying something, in the beginning, about waiting for me to scream and run away, never to return. Now the roles were reversed; me waiting, him stunned into silence, with an unclear reaction. He rose, not once taking his eyes off me. He edged closer, slowly, as one would to a skittish horse. I smiled, trying to reassure him.
"Don't worry, I promise not to bite." Internally I cringed. Perhaps a lame pun wasn't the best idea. A snort of morbid laughter escaped him involuntarily, a sign his black sense in humor still existed; meanwhile he frowned, trying to keep an air of sternness, all the while inching toward me. "Edward, eternity may be at our disposal, but I really don't want to spend it waiting for you to get to me." I said.
"Fine." He replied, faintly annoyed. He crossed the space in two strides, halting in front of a wing. He reached out tentatively, and then swiftly withdrew his arm. "Can I…"
"Of course." He extended a hand, stroking the feathers, marveling in their texture. I reveled in the feeling; in had been a while since I had gotten a stretch, or been touched so tenderly.
"So soft…like silk, but firmer," he murmured to himself, voicing his thoughts, unaware, completely absorbed. I let him continue for a few minutes, and then slowly pulled them back in. He frowned, his brow ridge creased in thought.
"Don't worry, you can pet the pretty bird later," I mocked; he wasn't the only one who could tease.
He raised an eyebrow with disapproval, in a manner that reminded me remarkably of Lazarus. "The pretty bird has an attitude," He grumbled with fake malcontent.
I chuckled. "The pretty bird doesn't have to take your crap anymore, now that the cat's out of the bag." I tapped my chin, feigning thought. "Maybe I shouldn't mix my animal metaphors." Thrusting my finger into the air in a 'eureka!' motion as I spoke, it prompted a smile from him.
"That would probably be best," Edward agreed with equally fake sanctity. Inside, I rejoiced in the fact that we seemed to be getting along like nothing had happened, like it didn't matter. Without really thinking, I reached out and pulled him to me, pressing my lips to his in a kiss.
He froze, unused to my strength. Dazedly, as if just realizing what I'd done, I leaned away. He secured my face in his hands, and kissed me back, chastely, then rougher, but with no less care and gentleness.
"You don't have to hold back anymore." I told him, trying to control my erratic breathing. Being a chayot may help with the breathing issue, but did nothing to lessen the potency of the cause.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I'm not hiding anymore, not from you. In reality, I'm stronger than you are. I can take anything you throw out, and more. I did a huge metaphorical leapfrog on that thing most people like to call a food chain, but I call hierarchical bullshit."
"Really?" He questioned, incredulous.
"Yes. Weren't you paying attention to Lazarus? Chayot were created for a purpose: to uphold the balance, which includes vampires and werewolves. We were designed to be stronger, faster, more powerful, to keep you in check."
"Tell me more," he urged, fascinated.
"What do you want to know?" I queried, realizing, not for the first time today, how he must have felt when I found out he was a vampire. Yet I piqued his inquisitiveness; in fact I welcomed it. It showed me he was not repulsed.
"Did you always know I was a vampire?" I was surprised that this was the first question he would ask.
"Yes. We have the ability to sense other supernatural creatures. I felt you the moment I entered the town."
"What was your first reaction?"
"Curiosity. I could tell you hunted animals; your energy signature was different. I had never encountered vegetarians before, though I knew you existed. Not to mention the unusually large size of your coven."
"I see."
"Anything else?"
He thought for a moment before replying, "Do you sleep?" I looked at him to make sure he was being serious, to see that he was.
"Of course! You've seen me, remember?" I beamed. "Reigning over all forces of nature on Earth can get exhausting you know."
"But do you have to?" he persisted.
"No, but we can. We can sleep, eat, etc., etc., but it's not required. It's a matter of choice. I've known chayot who haven't slept a day since they awakened, and others you might mistake for humans, they are so obsessed with carrying out life functions."
"What about you?" His questions were almost painful, as though he was trying to get to know me all over again.
"I generally do whatever I feel like at the moment. While here, in Forks, I kept a more…human cycle, because I was pretending to be human."
"Ah." I could see that something was plaguing him; he just wasn't trying to let it on.
"What's wrong? I know something's bothering you." I delved, wanting to fix the problem, whatever that may be, because I was inescapably the source of it.
"Well…I was wondering…why were you so persistent about being changed, when it wasn't needed?"
"Because it wasn't necessary." Was my simple and admittedly nebulous reply. It caused the reaction I knew would come: annoyance at my vagueness.
"Pardon?"
"Chayot are immortal. Humans aren't. I couldn't just not age. I could pretend to age, true, but eventually I would have had to fake my death, and I couldn't take that. Especially knowing I could have eternity to you, but my secret would never allow me to do that." I glanced away, staring out the window. The sun was reaching its zenith, leaving no shadow for creatures to lurk. For this I was grateful.
Chayot may be creatures of subterfuge, but that doesn't mean we enjoy the beings that lurk in the dark. I had enough to fret over. With that thought, I focused again on the current situation. I swallowed at the thought of pretending to dead, in a place I could never go, and having to always watch him from afar. Surely, that was a fate worse than any death.
He only missed a beat before asking his next question. He squeezed my hand to let me know he understood. "I'm assuming vampire venom has no affect on you?" was his next inquiry.
"That's correct." I agreed.
"Then how would that have worked?" The curiosity was pooling in his eyes like a slow burning fire.
"Same way you thought I was human."
"Illusions." He declared, having put a great deal of thought into reasoning it out. His eyes were bright as he mused over the ingenious of it all. I was proud of my attempts.
"You catch on fast," I said approvingly.
"I have to be. You are so vague," he factitiously chastised
"Sorry. Would you accept chayot nature as a plausible excuse?"
"Certainly," he voiced his approbation.
"Then that's my excuse," I sanctioned, a smile spreading slowly across my face. I blew hair from my cheek impatiently, still grinning at him.
"You don't need one, not with me," he disagreed.
"Thank you," I pecked him on the cheek in gratitude. I felt happier than I had in a long time, knowing that he loved me, no matter what.
"Anytime." He concurred, apparently glad to reassure me.
We sat in comfortable companionship before I spoke. "I think we should go downstairs and tell Alice we aren't separating. She's sending out panic waves. If it were possible I think she would be hyperventilating." The image sent me into fits of mental laughter.
"I agree. Her thoughts are screaming at me," Edward grimaced and massaged his temples in an exaggerated motion of a headache.
He stood fluidly, and I looked on with envy. He noticed my stare, and returned my glance curiously. "You're so graceful." I complained, answering his unspoken question.
He simpered. "What, the almighty chayot can't stand up straight?" he seemed to enjoy immensely the fact that I was a near omnipresent being and couldn't walk in a straight line without difficulties.
I gave a death glare that would have melted numerous others. "No." I replied snippily. He smirked and grabbed my hand, hauling me to my feet and towing me across the room. I decided to give a taste of his own medicine, and sped up, causing him to stumble, not expecting my burst of speed. He send me a look that clearly said, 'What are you doing?'
'Letting you be the damsel for a change,' I answered telepathically, making his eyes widen in shock. I had arrived, so to speak, and things were going to change. If only I knew how right I was.
So there. You didn't honestly think I'd break up Bella and Edward did you? Well now you know better. Sorry about the long wait. There were editing problems and then Fanfiction started being a bitch. Reviews would DEFINTLY encourage me to update faster. These chapters are slowly but surely getting longer. Does anyone even READ these author notes? Hmph. Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaasssee review. I'll give you a cyber cookie, low fat but not crappy, because they're cyber. REVIEW.
Headspin- Rock Star Supernova
Rainy Monday- Shiny Toy Guns
City Noise- Scarling
Swing Life Away- Rise Against
Movies of Antarctica- Stars of Track and Field
A Beautiful Lie- 30 Seconds to Mars
Fiction- Kids in the Way
Just A Little Bit Dramatic: Hey guys, once again. It was my fault this update took so long, I'm editing, and was on holidays, and yes…sigh. Oooh, PM art of exasperation and ask her to send you a link to the images of Caleb and Lazarus. Seen them…Caleb is hot!!! Love him! Anyways, R & R, art of exasperation deserves them…anyone who sends her flames will be on the receiving end of my flames, generated by Jock, Aquamaquisha, Ophelia, Bootsy and Faloola! Yes, art of exasperation, I forgot to tell you, Jock and Aquamaquisha had twins: little Bootsy and Faloola! These are my flamethrower army, people, and they rock…so do Stan, Rita, and Galahad. Galahad is betrothed to Ophelia…you're all invited to the wedding!