Chapter 6

"There is no greater warrior than a mother protecting her child"

- N.K. Jemisin

Chapter 6

Kumiko watched as Unohana set her stethoscope down, amazed by how she moved around this tiny room they were in. She knew it like the back of her hand, not having to search for an item once but rather knowing exactly where they were. Retsu Unohana was the closest someone could be to perfect.

"Sakurai-san, how have you been?" The captain asked politely, finally breaking the ice between the two. It had been an uncomfortable checkup, oddly enough.

Kumiko shifted on the bed, propping herself on her elbows so that she could look at Retsu better, "I've been good, though I think I might have come down with cabin fever."

Unohana let out a soft laugh as she prodded her fingers against Kumiko's belly, "Luckily for you, that fever may break in a few weeks or so."

"A few weeks?" Kumiko muttered, "Yup, I sure am hitting the jackpot."

They ceased conversation after that, settling for the peaceful silence instead. Unohana conducted her usual tests, cleaned up the room and threw away certain instruments she had used, and sat down in front of Kumiko.

"How stressed do you think you have been of late, Sakurai-san?" she asked finally.

Something in her voice told Kumiko that there was a problem, "Stressed…I'm not sure." She sat up and looked Unohana squarely in the eye, "I would say fairly stressed; trying to work around Central Forty-Six, running the office again, dealing with the Hollowfication incident. Why?"

Unohana took in a deep breath, as if deciding how to explain herself to Kumiko, "When the body goes through stress, we release a hormone called cortisol. It regulates the changes our bodies go through during stressful period in time."

"I don't know where you're going with this Captain Unohana," Kumiko gritted out, growing impatient.

"Pregnant women all go through stress during their pregnancies; their emotions are heightened due to their fluctuating hormones. But with enough stress, cortisol can be passed through to their fetus," Unohana's explanation came in a rush and mixture of emotions. Each word winded Kumiko and she felt the world spinning, "From the beginning of your pregnancy you experienced extreme amounts of stress; it's a wonder why your body hasn't miscarried already, especially after the beatings you endured while imprisoned –"

"Are you trying to tell me that my baby is going to die?" Kumiko cried out, fear gripping tightly at her heart. She couldn't lose her; this child was the only thing she had left of Kisuke.

Unohana shook her head and wrapped her long fingers around Kumiko's hands, "It isn't likely, though there may be developmental problems, like being born underweight. The child may be born with a high level of cortisol, meaning that it may suffer from anxiety or depression. Stress can also cause premature births, though I don't think that will happen –"

"Premature births? As in my child could have asthma?" Kumiko asked.

"Asthma can be one of the many problems; diabetes and weakened immune systems can be another. It all depends on how early the fetus is born."

Kumiko bit her lip hard, holding back her unshed tears, "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

Both she and Unohana were surprised by how frenzied she sounded. Kumiko breathed in deeply, trying to calm herself down and push her rage down.

Unohana stood up and faced the window instead of Kumiko, "There were no problems in the baby that I could see."

"And there are now?" Kumiko shouted, standing up too.

"No, now sit down and calm down Kumiko." Unohana hissed.

Kumiko hesitated momentarily before marching up to Unohana. She was done with this. She was tired of no one ever telling her anything! It wasn't just Unohana's fault, Kumiko knew that, but she was still blamed her for not telling her any of this earlier.

"How the fuck could you not have told me sooner?" Kumiko demanded, "How the fuck could you have kept that from me?"

Unohana sighed disappointedly, "Because I saw no point Sakurai-san. You wouldn't have reduced your stress levels; you couldn't. There was nothing you could do about your current life changes because Central Forty-Six and the Gotei Thirteen were deciding those for you. The real concern I had was what you went through in the prisons –but there was nothing we could do about that either."

Kumiko nodded. Why, she had clue. She didn't know what to do anymore. Unohana was right; she had no control of her life anymore. She could only do her best now and pray that her child was not affected by her poor choices.

"Sakurai-san."

Kumiko glanced up at Unohana, who smiled back at her, "It's alright to cry."

And like that, the floodgates broke. The tears that she had refused to indulge in for months finally broke loose in a torrent of emotions.

Relief

Grief

Anger

Happiness

Love

Gratefulness

"Go home, dear," Unohana passed Kumiko a tissue, "Get some rest and we will talk tomorrow." She opened the door and shook her when Kumiko began to argue, "You are in no state of mind to discuss your pregnancy, Sakura-san."

Like a school girl who had been sent to the timeout corner, Kumiko trudged all the way back to the barracks. Her tears fell silently down her cheeks, soaking her uniform. Her nose was running and the soggy tissue she was given wasn't doing her much service anymore. She was a mess…but a relieved one.

She had pretended to not like this child. She had lied to herself about hating her because she was also Kisuke's child. But that was all a lie; regardless of who her father was, this girl was hers.

Her bedroom was untidy when she entered it. She began to clean it, picking up all of the dirty laundry, folding the clean, and washing everything. She reorganized the books and manuscripts on her shelves and polished her sword. The plants that she had taken pride in months before were dead now from neglect, so she threw them out. She sat down on her newly made bed with a piece of paper, a pencil, and a photo album.

"To-Do List" She wrote at the top.

"Buy: New plants, Soap, Mop, Uniform"

Kumiko stared at the photo album, touching its leather cover gently, and added "Tissues" to her list. Crossing her legs, she set the book on her lap and opened it, staring at the pictures that stared back up at her. One was of Mashiro and Kumiko, both dressed in white dresses and holding baskets full of eggs. Sachiko had always been in love with many European customs so she had hosted an Easter Egg Hunt for all of the children in the manor. Kumiko remember wrestling Mashiro for the golden egg –Mashiro had won because she held it above her head and out of Kumiko's reach.

Another photo was of Sachiko and Kumiko's father, holding each other and smiling. Sachiko had an impish smile, her eyes glinting with mischief. Her father's eyes were calm and docile, his smile relaxed and loving. This picture had always been Kumiko's favorite; she believed that her parents had loved each other immensely, despite what they had told both her and Mashiro. This picture was proof alone.

Kumiko looked down momentarily at her belly, and whispered, "I love your daddy, no matter what I say, baby…never forget that." She wiped fresh tears with the back of her hand, "Don't let me ever forget that."

She turned through the pages, laughing and crying with each picture she looked at. Each one brought an old memory with it, some were happy and some were mournful and some were both. She recalled conversations that she had had with aunts and cousins and friends from the Rukongai. The pictures that were taken of while she had lived in the Rukon were the funniest. Her hair had been cut short and there was so much mud on her skin and clothes that it was hard to distinguish the two from each other. She glared at the camera, the distrust for the photographer evident in the way that she reached for her knife.

Finally, Kumiko turned to the last page, where her most cherished photo was. She looked away briefly before turning her face back to the wonderful picture of her fiancé.

"Haku."

Kumiko sat on the grass with his head on her lap, smiling down at him. Haku yawned, his eyes growing heavy.

"Are you laughing at me?" He grinned when the little girl giggled. He cracked open one eye and chuckled as Kumiko shook her head a little too quickly.

He sat up and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her. Kumiko smiled and gave him a loud kiss on his porcelain cheeks. She leaned back in his arms and gazed up in awe at her fiancé.

Haku was gorgeous, a magnificent creation sent to her. He had long black hair held back by kenseikan and narrow blue eyes. Judging by how long his legs were, he was going to be tall when he grew up, and he was already well-toned from relentless practice with Byakuya. Yes, Haku was a beautiful boy but not only aesthetically pleasing; he was a kind soul, a great hugger and the only one that Kumiko fully trusted.

"What are you thinking about, little mouse?" She looked up at the sound of his voice. His eyes were sleepy looking again and Kumiko cried at the dark smudges underneath them, marring his silken skin. Kumiko knew that something wasn't right with Haku. He always had bags under his eyes and every move he made seemed painful. She knew that he didn't want to talk about it so she never asked him about it, although she felt that he was aware of the fact that she noticed that something was wrong with him.

"Nothing really…" Kumiko broke out into a bashful smile, her cheeks flushing, "Just that you are handsome."

"Oh?" He asked teasingly, poking her nose and running his fingers through her hair, "So you're marrying me for my looks?"

"Yes!" She laughed, tackling him with a hug, "And because you're really nice to me! We're going to be a great married couple, Haku!"

He grew quiet, looking like he was going to cry. Kumiko feared that she had said the wrong thing but was relieved when he whispered, "I love you, little mouse."

"I love you too, Haku."

Kumiko hugged herself, sobbing loudly. Maybe she wasn't meant to love; both Haku and Kisuke were made to leave her, one way or another. Maybe she wasn't good enough for love.

She shuffled, knocking the album over. Cursing incoherently between sniffling, Kumiko reached for the book. A loose picture fell out from the album and Kumiko stopped crying immediately. It was a picture of her…the newborn her in Sachiko's arms. She was bundled in a cotton blanket, snuggling into the warmth of her mother, sleeping soundly. Mashiro peeked over their mother's shoulder, her round eyes sparkling with that goofy excitement that overtook her so easily. Sachiko seemed to be saying something to Mashiro, probably something about holding Kumiko if Mashiro's open arms said anything. Their father gazed down at the scene lovingly, and the intensity of emotion in his eyes made Kumiko smile.

Maybe she did deserve love…maybe she had just been looking for it in the wrong place.

"We'll get through this," she whispered to her baby, feeling an emotion she hadn't felt in a long time. Serenity. "I love you, Shizuko."

"May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand."

- Sandra Sturtz

Thank you for reading so far! Hopefully we see more happier days for Kumi-kun ;D AND MAYBE CHECK UP ON KISUKE HEY?!