AN: Another look into Amethyst's past.

"Haha! Okay, now... What were you saying?"

I peered up from my book and looked across the table at my dark-haired friend, her bluish gray eyes locked on me and a smile carved into her cheeks. There was a bright glint in her eye, as though there wasn't a single thing that could ever bring her down. As though she'd never been hurt. As though she didn't have a single guilty thought.

What I would've given at that moment to grind that sickening grin into the concrete.

"When?" I wasn't amused, and my tone bespoke it. I spoke as dryly as I could, turning my gaze back to my only true companion. Fiction. Words. Never changing.

"Last week?"

I snorted in disbelief. "Last week. You think I remember what I fucking said ten days ago?"

"Well, yeah. I mean you never finished what you were saying and it seemed important-"

"Yet, I never finished what I was saying because you fucking ran off in the middle of my sentence!" I growled and slammed the book down on the table, standing from my seat so I was closer to eye level. "All because you got a text from your boyfriend!"

"...he's not my boyfriend. He's dating someone else. That'd be wrong." That shine in her eyes was gone, her emptiness mimicking the same void of my features. Though my nonchalant face was contorting into a sneer.

"But not wrong enough for you to be allll over him! 'Oh, he's such a great friend! He's the person I was meant to be with. No one has ever understood me or tried to like him!' You're a damn lovesick puppy, drooling over the newest meat on the block. If it was so damn wrong, why the hell would you say you wished they'd break up so you could be with him?! This is becoming a common trend! I've been at your side trying so hard to help you with your depression, and every time you meet someone new, it's all about them for a few weeks before you totally cut contact!"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Her voice cracked in rage, her face turning bright red as her eyes narrowed at me. Go ahead, strike me, there was a cop on campus. "He's different from everyone else! He's the only one who understands my pain! What we have is special, and I don't care if we can't be together. I love him, and he doesn't mind it-"

"You met the guy a month and a half ago, and you're saying you love him?! That only he gets it? I try soooo hard to be perfect for you, I put my own pain aside so I can help you, and this is the thanks I get?! And dammit, you know I understand. No one can ever 100% understand, but my god, you KNOW what I've been through! You know what suspicions I have! I can pretty well understand the pain you're in, even if you do like to exaggerate and guilt trip everyone because, oh, no one ever cares. Everyone would be happier with you dead... Ignoring the person sitting there trying desperately to comfort you!" I trembled, tears welling in my eyes as my hands curled into fists, my nails biting into the flesh of my palm. Damn... Why did I get so emotional? I had to be stronger. I had to stop being so influenced by fights. I couldn't be weak...

"You only care about yourself! I don't owe you anything!"

"I didn't fucking say you did! Just think about how I feel about this! Ignoring me for this person you just met, despite the years we've been close?... Maybe I don't need you afterall." I backed away, grabbing my book from the table and turning the other way. "I don't need a backstabber that forgets everything for the newest person. This'll end before long, but I'm not going to be there to catch you when you fall on your ass. I'm tired of this cat-and-mouse game. Good luck."

"Fine." I began walking away, planning to head home when I heard a low mumble that stopped me in my tracks. "Stupid bitch. At least my spine's straight."

I spun on my heel, a loud thud signaling the book in my hand had impacted with the asphalt, my face scrunching and burning with flaming wrath. "I'm stupid?! You're the one who dropped the person who stayed up every night to help you for someone that's just playing you along! I don't need you! I don't need anyone!"

I sprinted home after that. I hated conflict. I hated it. And I hated even more losing someone. But I shouldn't have expected different. I've always been easy to replace. Unmemorable. If I died, people truly wouldn't notice. If they did, it'd be a passing thought. But that's fine.

I vowed from that day forward, no one would ever make their way into my heart. From now on, my heart would have a steel covering, wrapped in chains, locked away in a vault. I would only worry about myself. 15 years old, and my mind was made up. People. Cannot. Be trusted. Ever.