Cai-nikz: (eats cake and another…and another…and another…)
(Cai-nikz's classmate): You know…we should really start soon…
Cai-nikz: (finishes the whole piece of cake) Aw, they can wait… (Opens another box, eyes sparkle)
(Cai-nikz's classmate): (sweat drop) Ehehehe… since my classmates refuses to stop eating her cake, let's leave her for a minute and get on with it, shall we?
Cai-nikz: (finishes box, looks around for anymore, cries) Whaaa! No more cake!
(Cai-nikz's classmate): (clicks the button on the super remote for a new box of cake)
Cai-nikz: (stops crying, smiles, screams) YAY! More!
(Cai-nikz's classmate): (clicks the button for the Fanfic)
Chapter 6: The Pieces That Were Left Behind
The rain was not getting any better and neither was Kira. It was 12 in the morning and still he couldn't sleep. He sat up straight on his bed thinking about... Ana.
"It's a free world, Kira! Everyone is given a chance to make a difference!" Ana exclaimed, Kira looked at her and raised his brow. What in the world is this girl talking about? He thought.
She continued to talk and seconds later, changed the subject. The next minute she was talking about life, then the next minute she was talking about love and anger and destiny and fate and..every other thing that would pop into her mind! It was really getting annoying.
He thought of ways to make her stop talking, and an idea escaped his mind. He grabbed her wrist, forcibly making her face him. Then, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips upon hers. It was a soft and tender kiss, just enough to stop her from blabbering about...almost everything. She enjoyed it and kissed him back in reply. Not for long, they parted. He looked into her eyes and smiled, "So all you wanted this whole time was a kiss from me?" he said, grinning. She giggled at his idea and tilted her head to kiss him again. This time, it was deep and long. He parted away from the kiss and laughed, "You should've told me earlier, then I'd give you the greatest kiss in the entire world!" he exaggerated. She looked at his purple eyes and grinned, "If you are given that chance, to kiss me, then do it!"
He flinched. She moved away from him playfully and laughed, "Everyone is given a chance... or maybe a chance that was never given to them."
"A chance that was never given to you..."
"... Lacus..." he murmured.
"Well, it's very rare for girls as rich as you to be stuck in that kind of undying curse..." he explained.
"When are you going to get married?" he asked abruptly which he didn't mean to do.
"Six months from now..." she replied with a very deep sigh.
"Are all of us given a choice to choose from Kira?" she suddenly asked out of the silence.
"A chance...for all of us—for both of us." His eyes widened. Why did he just say that! What force on earth could have made him say that in this enduring silence? He shook his head to erase the things he had just been thinking, especially what he just said. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes. "It could be impossible... even if there is a chance." He shook his head again to get Lacus of his mind. It's just that there's no one good enough to think about, he thought.
What about Ana? Is she not good enough to think about? He shook his head again and slid himself in bed. He clenched his hair and began to breathe deeply. 'Just forget about everything that happened, okay Kira?' he said to himself. But the more he tries to forget, the more she keeps coming back inside his thoughts.
Without thinking he screamed a name—her name. "Lacus!" His voice echoed in her mind and she dropped the microphone but the man beside her caught it in time. She looked into the crowd that was watching her sing and, she saw him. It took time for her to recognize his image and not for long she moved down the stage. He also strived to get out of the thick crowd. Her heart raced her breathing. As she was down the stairs her tears began to roll down her cheeks and into his arms she landed.
He screamed at himself and once again he found himself thinking about Lacus. He looked at his clock. It was 12:05 am. He sat up in bed again and remembered the first time they met.
"You shouldn't be here mister..." a soft voice said. He froze. 'That voice' he looked up to see who it was and he was greeted with a smile. He saw a very beautiful girl. She was holding an umbrella that was shielding both of them from the rain.
'Why did we meet? Why during this time of my life... when I needed Ana the most?' he bent his head and shook it. His mind was going crazy! He looked to his right and saw his phone. Suddenly, an idea escaped his mind (like the usual). 'Should I call her?' he thought. There was this voice inside him that wanted to call her but then again, his logical knowledge told him he shouldn't. He rested his head on the bedroom wall and sighed.
"It wouldn't hurt to just try to know her; it's not like your expecting something to happen right?" Athrun said.
"Why am I thinking this way?" he asked out aloud. He looked at the ceiling of his room and saw Ana's face—a vision—yet it looked so real. He smiled at her faint expression. She was smiling at him too. Happily, he looked into her eyes... and realized he was looking at nothing. "What should I do?" he asked, as if talking to the still ceiling above him.
Suddenly, a strange sound came from beside him. His phone was ringing. He removed the covers from him and was about to answer the call... but he hesitated. The phone kept on ringing and he was still hesitant. 'Who could this be?' he thought. An image of Lacus entered his mind—answering his question. He shook his head again and scolded himself. He gave one last look at the phone and it stopped ringing. He just missed an opportunity of a lifetime!
He sighed. 'Good riddance...' he said to himself. As he was almost going to hide under the covers, the phone once again rang. He froze... 'Now what?!'
Again, he was hesitant.
He noticed the pleading in her eyes, telling him to stop. Suddenly his right hand was on her cheek and pulled her closer into an embrace.
"It's going to be okay...I promise." he ensured.
"They say that when you wish when the sun is setting, it will come true when dawn breaks. It's really a funny thing isn't it?" he laughed. She smiled at him, the usual.
"...the usual..." he whispered.
He took a deep breath and answered the phone.
"Hello?" a sweet voice called out.
A part of him enlightened and a part of him fell into pieces.
"Kira...?" it continued.
He couldn't answer it. That sweet voice sounded so familiar, or maybe it was just his imagination that made it sound familiar.
"Hello?" it said again.
He rubbed his face and gathered enough courage...
"Hello..." he replied.
"Kira...is this Kira?" the voice whispered.
"Yeah...this is Kira." He answered deliberately, pretending he doesn't know who the voice belongs too.
"It's me..." it started "...Lacus."
When he heard her name he felt butterflies in his stomach. A feeling of curiosity entered him; yet, a feeling of just ignoring the voice also was penetrating into his heart.
"Lacus...why are you awake at this time of the morning?"
There was at first silence and then he heard her breathing heavily.
"Lacus, what's wrong?" he continued, with a bit of nervousness in his shrill voice.
"It's really nothing. My father just went to the PLANT's, and so, I'm the only one left here together with the housekeeper and the other maids. It's really quiet and still and I was already getting board." she stated. She looked outside her window and saw the busy city. It was still alive and wonderful lights surrounded it.
"Are you looking at the city from inside your room?" he guessed.
She was a bit stunned but then later giggled. He heard her giggle and grinned. That feeling of slight anger against him was gone.
"Do you... want to...maybe go to a place where... everything is still and quiet?" he said, struggling.
"Where?" she curiously asked.
He thought for a moment and talked, "Well, it's a very special place..." he started "If you want to go to some other places... then... it won't be a problem cause... the city really... never sleeps... here in ORB..." he said, his hands already shaking.
A faint smile escaped from her lips. "Are you sure you want to go? Maybe I just disturbed you..."
"No, no!" he quickly answered, "you didn't disturb me... after all... I wasn't really going to sleep... I'll pick you up ok? I'll be there in 15 minutes!" he assured.
She heard his very excited yet nervous voice and gladly said yes and the conversation ended.
With no time to loose, he got up, got dressed and combed his messy hair. He looked at Ana's picture on his desk and smiled at it. Beside the picture was Lacus' necklace. He got it and placed it inside his pocket. 'If you... can do something...' he thought.
He sighed heavily, got his car keys and went off.
In Lacus' quarters
She looked outside her window, waiting for any sign of Kira's car. She was really expecting him this much. She felt different when with him. It was certain and she was assured that it felt safe to be with him. She remembered that moment when she flung to his arms and cried. She liked it, moreover, she loved it. Yet, just like Kira, she too was restless. On one account, she never liked to go out with him, yet, on the other, it felt so... heavenly. She read this story in one of the books her father gave her. It was entitled 'When the Heart Beats'. The story is about a girl who was engaged to a man she thought she loved. Then, suddenly, another guy comes into her life and, by circumstance, changed everything. The sad part of the story is that the man she was engaged to and the man who changed her life were, unfortunately, lifelong best friends. How twisted fate can be. Might as well entitle it A Story of Twisted Fates!
But a happy thought escaped Lacus' mind. The story really doesn't comply with her life. Kira and Anthony are not childhood friends and Kira didn't change her life entirely. Entirely? What does that mean? She shook her head to get those silly things out of her mind. Silly? Honestly, does she think it's silly? I don't think so.
After what seemed like eternity thinking about silly things, Kira's car had just arrived. She saw him walk out of his car and patiently waiting for her to come down. He raised his head and saw her window, but the night was so dark and he could not really determine of she was watching from below.
He waited entirely for her to come down. He looked at his watch... it was 12:20 in the morning, a really funny time to be with someone whom you've just met. Well, it has actually been three weeks since they've been together. The statement since they've been together, I think, is not a very proper term.
He noticed the front doors opening a bit and saw a figure, wearing a purple cloak, approach him. It opened the front gates, in which Kira was waiting outside, and revealed its face. He was amazed at the beauty in front of him, it seemed like it was the first time they've met. The beauty smiled at him and he could only smile back. He was taken away by her sincerity and he was taken away by her intense beauty, especially at night. "Hello..." she started, "...Kira..."
He looked into her eyes and held her gaze. Again, her heartbeat went faster. He could sense her nervousness as he looked inside her eyes. He stretched his hands and caressed her cheek. She flinched a bit but sooner got used to his fragile touch.
"So! Where do we go now!" she cheerfully asked, just to break the silence. His lips circled in bewilderment and confusion but it wasn't really that noticeable.
"Do you wan to see how the moon looks like at this time of the day?" he asked. Her expression turned out to be a girl who just entered pre-school! "It'll be wonderful!" she exclaimed.
Kira and Lacus in a mysterious place of complete silence...
"Where are we Kira?" she asked. His car was going inside a place called Hilltop Haven. "Don't worry... this is a park." He said.
She turned to look at him with a worried look. He noticed it and smiled at her, "don't worry, you won't get lost here...ok?" he assured her.
The car stopped and when she got out, she was so surprised at what was around her. There weren't any trees in the whole area but there were numerous flowers scattered all around. It was a great place to go to a picnic. The area was clean and silent. Only the blowing of the wind can be heard and the voices of the grass that danced with it.
He stretched his hand and smiled at her, "Come on, you still haven't seen the best part out here..." she grabbed his hand and they walked together. She observed the whole area. It looked more like a garden but the flowers were not grouped according to its kind. The strange thing was that no one was there! The park didn't really attract many viewers and Lacus could see why. She wondered even more why Kira brought her to this place.
They moved further into the "so-called" park and stopped in front of a sign that says STRICTLY PROHIBITED. Behind the large sign was a place bordered with small steel gates and the entrance was locked. Kira got something from his pocket—it was a key. She looked at him with confusion but he continued on. He unlocked the entrance using the key he had and opened the gates. She looked around and saw grasses, dead leaves, withered small flowers and, the weird part, a tall oak tree at the center edge. The place was not as lively as the outer part and was not really that attractive.
"What is this place Kira?" she asked. This time, she was really confused. Why did he take her here?
He looked at her and smiled. She was confused with his smile, a little bit of pain molded it and made it like that. He walked further with Lacus following her, since she had no other choice. They approached the old oak tree, which Lacus thought impossible because oak trees don't usually grow on hilltops.
Then, her eyes widened at what she just saw. Behind the oak tree was the moon.
It was bigger and she felt so near to touching it. She placed her hands on the steel bars below her that were used as boarders. She looked at it with extreme amazement. He only smiled at her expression. He was glad that he surprised her. He sat down and rested his back on the old oak tree.
As he observed further her reaction, he felt his heart break into millions of pieces. She reminded him so much of Ana and so little of the pain that she brought into his life. The way her pink hair danced with the wind and the way Ana's black hair singed with it. He could only cry... but he tried not too. He wanted to go back here because he wanted to prove to Ana that he has moved on... yet, the same thing happened: he still is crying over the pieces that she had left behind.
"This place is beautiful Kira!" she exclaimed. She turned around to look at Kira... yet teary eyes greeted her. He forced a faint smile and then bowed his head. Slowly he got up and joined her. "Yeah... it truly is wonderful out here..." he whispered. His voice was shaking as if afraid to show anything stupid. She couldn't stand that bothered look on his face. It was hurting her and tearing her apart. Yet why is it affecting her?
She gathered the courage to ask him but the more she looked into his sad eyes, the more fear entered her. What is she going to do? He had always been there whenever she's sad. When she felt like crying, he would always make the first move to cheer things up. She had to do something... she must!
"What's... wrong?" she asked, her tiny voice echoing inside his head.
"This place used to be so full of life... so many flowers and laughter," he started, his voice now soar and hoarse, "Now... only the old oak tree lives on, and nothing more."
She felt pain and also felt his anguished spirit. Now she knows why Kira is acting this way.
"...Ana..." she whispered. He flinched and looked at her with those very sad eyes.
"I knew it... it's about Ana, isn't it?"
He turned away and just forgot about what she said, although she was right.
"You look nuts," Ana complimented. She was looking at the funny-faced Kira that was entertaining her. He had just placed lipstick on his lips and acting like a girl. "I like you more as a man so give up the act alright?" she said not really feeling so entertained. Kira removed the make-up and smiled. "Hey... a simple joke wouldn't hurt right?"
"Come on, Ana! Cheer up will you!" he shouted. He began to tickle and tickle her until she gave up landed on the ground with Kira on top of her. "This isn't fair!" she shouted. She forcibly pushed him away and ran for it. Now, they look like kids playing under an oak tree!
"You can tell me... if you want to?" her tiny voice was carried by the strong breeze. He turned around and looked at the oak tree, and later, faced her. "This is her favorite place," he simply answered. Yet Lacus was not contented with his simple answer. "Why are you so sad?" she asked again...this time hoping for a direct answer.
Kira couldn't help it. The memories were getting the best of him. We wanted to hold back the tears, he wanted to just continue on with his life...we just wanted to live! Yet, the only thing constant in this world is change.
"She died...because of me."
With this, she was taken away. She kept silent until he could talk again. She could feel his breathing increase in movement and the grinding of his teeth. She could feel anger and hatred and isolation and...Many other sad things... she could feel his need.
"I was supposed to be the one..." he weakly whispered, "I should have been the one who died and not her..." he sighed. She could feel his heart breaking into millions of pieces, she could feel his soul being torn apart and she could feel his desire to be held...once again. Yet, why isn't he reacting? Why isn't he crying? He's just there, standing and looking at the oak tree with emptiness. What is wrong with him?
"You know what... she didn't to deserve die... She was everything to me...and I lost her..." he calmly said while looking at the glittering dark sky. He wanted to cry, he wanted to weep... but then... it would be pointless—everything was pointless. The still image of blood all over Ana's face, her harsh breathing, her teary eyes, and...her death… He formed his fist and punched the ground. Surely this wasn't what the future that promised them—promised him. But he enjoyed suffering like this. He could hear his own heart ache and he could hear his own heart sing hatred unto his soul. He liked it... the feeling of getting hurt... of being all alone.
She realized what he was doing to himself. He was crying without tears, he was suffering without yelling and most of all... he was breaking himself apart without even touching his own heart. She felt his quiet pain and could only look at him. 'Why is he doing this to himself?' she asked. She wanted to know why, she wanted to know what qualities Ana had. 'She must be a very great girl for a very great man loved her...' she thought.
"Do you often hurt yourself this way?" she abruptly asked. He looked at her when she said this. A slight gasp was heard from him and then silence. They once again found themselves looking into each other's eyes. While looking into hers, a little bit of pain pierced through his heart but he did not know why.
"Yeah..." he bitterly replied. She sensed the bitterness within him and pitied him. He's too kind to be in this kind of condition, he was too giving to loose this much, he was to loving to be left alone like this. "You really don't have to worry... I'm often like this whenever I remember her."
She turned away from his gaze and looked up into the sky. "I don't understand why people as loving as you could loose this much..." she whispered. He laughed a bit and then grinned. 'Who does she think I am?' he thought. "Well you proved yourself wrong right now!" he exclaimed. She breathed deeply and smiled, "I usually don't... and there is still so much too learn about you, Kira." her voice echoed in his mind again and it pierced through his heart. What did she mean by saying those words?
Being so curious, he looked at her and cast out a very confusing look of both anger and compassion. "What do you mean?" he asked. Curiosity got the best of him again, but this time...he wanted to know. "First, you have to ask yourself why you and Ana have met... how about remembering the times when you were together…" she began, "then start thinking about the things she has done for you."
Just like a child, he followed what she said. He looked to the ground and began to think about the times he and Ana had spent together. She looked at him and was pleased that he was following her advice. She saw him smile a bit...then...
He first remembered the first time they met. It happened in the park when Kira forgot his necklace and Ana was the one who returned it to him. Then, after that, they started seeing each other. As time went by, their friendship bloomed and then later turned out to be an endless love, for one cannot live without the other. Two years of knowing each other had passed and he asked her hand in marriage. She was doubtful at first and turned down the offer. They parted for another 2 years and when they saw each other again; they realized that they could never be with out the other. The bond grew stronger and then they were engaged. Happy moments flew their way and darkness was no where to be found... until that fateful day. It was 8 in the afternoon and she was on the park, a day before the wedding. He was looking for her... searching for a trace on where she had possibly been to. She just got lost in the thick crowd and it worried him. When turned back, he saw her. Her very beautiful appearance mesmerized his eyes. He moved closer to where she was standing. Then... she pushed him back... she was smiling... and it happened. She lay there in his arms, bleeding... she closed her eyes... and then silence.
It was hurting him even more. He looked up to the sky to make the tears go back into his eyes. The pain was unbearable and it was killing him! Why did she ever ask him to do this? He was clenching his fist to even the pain within. She noticed his expression change and was almost about to cry. His figure was also unbearable to anyone who would see it. "Second is to cry because she's not here anymore but she left you this legacy of happiness..." she whispered. He bent down his head for the tears were too heavy to take back. He was now crying with tears but he did not make a sound or even sob... he just cried there very silently. Tears flowed down his eyes and more memories escaped his mind. She was more affected now; his tears were bringing her pain yet, why? "Third is accepting the facts..." she started, "then let go..."
With these last words, he began to sob slowly and very silently. Yet she could hear it now... his pain, his anguish and his hatred towards himself. Why is he like this?
"...I can't..." he said, struggling to get them out of him. "I just can't do it... I can't!" he weakly gasped. She could not bear it anymore. The sight of seeing him like this has brought a tremendous effect on her. More tears escaped from his eyes and he sobbed, wept and hated himself even more.
"Does it hurt you Kira?" she vividly asked.
He looked at her with anger in his eyes. Of course it hurt him! What does she think she's saying?! Does this girl even know the effect of getting hurt?
"If you are hurt... then it is a sign..." she touched his face and caressed his cheek, "it is a sign that you really want to let go..."
His eyes widened. How come she knows these kinds of stuff? For a while he looked into her eyes. He saw sincerity in the things she had just said. She was right. He did want to let go but he couldn't. "Why do you... with your words... touch this frozen heart?" he weakly asked her. She smiled at him in reply. He could see the tears forming in her eyes. She was hurt because he was hurt. It was a very compassionate sight and a loving experience. He smiled at her but it was different. He smiled bigger this time and was happy. Yet, a very hurtful reality once again entered his heart and he was brought again into tears. She was confused. What evil thought could have entered his mind?
"Yet, the pieces are too scattered to clean up..." he hopelessly said. Taken back by his words, she moved closer and embraced him... with tears in her eyes.
Doushite kimi wa chiisa na te de
Kizu wo seoou to suru no darou?
Dareka no tame dake janai miushinawanaide
Doushite boku wa mayoinagara
Nigedasu koto dekinai no darou?
Nozomo no wa hikari sasu hi wo hi wo...
He was at first surprised but then surrounded his arms around her small body. He could feel her pain... and she was having this because of him. She has such a kind heart. He pulled her closer and they were drowned by their own fantasies. Her body was so small against his. He was warm and had a warm heart. 'Why am I doing this?' she thought. It was pointless to be doing this... they can't be together even in the very end.
"The pieces that were left don't matter anymore... you just have to wait for the other new pieces to assemble them again but what it would create for you will be different: a happier view from a sad position..." she cried. He rested her head on his muscular and warm chest. She heard the beating of his heart and this time it was softer in tune.
Find the way
Kagayaku sora ni te wa
Todokanakutemo hibiku ai dake tayori ni
Susunda michi no saki hikari ga mitsukaru kara
You'll find the way
Struck by her words he embraced her tightly... never letting go. He wanted to believe, he wanted to stay like this forever. She was able to give him peace and forgiveness but there is still this doubt inside of him. Questions linger in his mind. 'What is it that the heart really seeks? Is it comfort and then be rejected? Is it passion and then be betrayed? Is it love and then be lost? Or is it the reason why it beats together with the other and then realizing that you weren't really meant to be in the end?' his mind was driving him crazy and he didn't want to spoil this wonderful moment of healing.
"What is it that the heart really seeks?" he asked. She closed her eyes and said, "to be accepted..."
"...once more..."
This was enough... enough to heal a broken man within his torn world. "Thank you..." was all he could say... the moon was watching them being swallowed by each other's desires and this time... forever was not enough.
Cai-nikz: (throws box away) Okay I'm done…let's start the fic!
(Cai-nikz's classmate): We just finished. . .
Cai-nikz: What? (Starts to cry)
(Cai-nikz's classmate): Don't worry, you didn't miss anything…
Cai-nikz: Really?
(Cai-nikz's classmate): Really, besides…you can have the final remarks…
Cai-nikz: (Jumps happily) Yay! Okay, let's see… Um, don't forget to review! And. . . (Eyes shine) . . .send me CAKE!
(Cai-nikz's classmate): (sweat drops, sighs) don't you think of anything but cake?
Cai-nikz: Ice cream's good too!
(Cai-nikz's classmate): (deep sigh) she'll never learn…
Cai-nikz: (Jumps on classmates back) Whee! Review! Cake! Ice cream! Hahaha…piggyback ride! X3