Alright, I know, I know. I got shit to do. Well, I got a lot of shit to do, and since I couldn't draw any decent Valentine's picture like I promised, I turned one picture idea into an actual fanfic. I hope you guys enjoy. And for those of my followers from the Apocalypse Series that don't know, and at all care, I posted two Apocalypse-inspired pics up on deviantArt, one of which was for the series' one year anniversary. Which was yesterday, btw.

Yep, three hundred and sixty-six days ago, I started a fic that was way more popular and a way bigger project than I ever thought it would be.

Anyways, enough of my ramblings. On with the shameless Valentine's Day fluff.

This takes place about five years after the end of the series, so about three years before the epilogue, while Lydia is pregnant with Afid.

She was not in the best of moods. She couldn't recall ever having such mood swings when she was pregnant with Spieder and Krickette, but the figurative storm clouds raging over her head right now would probably shock even Prince Vince. She skulked down the hall, sipping her hot tea whenever she paused in her ranting.

"It'd just be nice, you know, if he would pick up after himself and the kids once in a while. I mean, I'm pregnant. Even if I wasn't, why am I always the one that has to wade through three feet of post-prank ectoplasm every other-"

KABOOM!

The entire Roadhouse rocked on its foundation, knocking pictures off the walls and rattling windows in their frames. Lydia, from years of practice, was barely shaken, though her already sour expression darkened further. From the silence on the other side of the phone, Lydia gathered that Ginger was now wondering if she should jump over there to protect the other inhabitants of the house from the pregnant woman's undoubtable rage.

"Ging?"

"You'll call me later." The Spider-sapien finished for her from her side of the line. "Don't kill them sweetie."

"Hnn."

Lydia clicked the talk button, disconnecting them and raised her mug to her lips calmly, taking a small sip of her tea as she set the phone down.

She smacked her lips and sighed contentedly before the metaphorical storm cloud above her darkened at the same time her expression did. "BETELGEUSE!" Her shout was nearly as loud as the explosion, and she heard frantic sounds of alarm coming from the kitchen. One hand rested beneath her belly, cradling the little ball of energy inside as she stormed down the hall. She smacked a palm against the ancient wood, throwing the door open hard enough for it to bounce off the wall. "WHAT THE HELL WAS TH-"

Lydia froze, her eyes wide as she took in the… disaster before her. Glitter and what looked like some sort of red batter, or really thick, pale blood covered just about every surface possible. There were fresh scorch marks on the floor, wall, counters and cabinets surrounding the new stove, which was now blown practically to bits and still smoking. Her eyes were practically bugging out of their sockets as her gaze finally fell on the three terrified figures cowering by where their table had once sat.

She couldn't even formulate the words she wanted to yell at them, and the family entered into a tense stare-down, with Lydia clearly winning.

Spieder and Krickette were covered from head to foot in the mixture of glitter and batter, with globs of glue and glitter covering the marker ink on their hands. Her daughter's beautiful curls stood straight up and were thick with what looked like more glue, while Spieder's face was covered with yet more glitter and the end of his nose smudged with soot from the explosion.

Then there was Betelgeuse, his wide, emerald eyes regarding his heavily pregnant wife with dread. He was clad only in his pajama bottoms and a few rags, most of his shirt having been burned away. He turned slowly to face the fuming woman before him, his hands held before him in a defensive position as he backed towards the children. "Now… Babes. Remember what the Doc said? You're supposed to keep cal-"

"What." She grit out quietly, causing the kids to squeak and duck behind their father as he flinched. "Happened."

Betelgeuse chuckled weakly and dove towards the remains of the counter, lifting the tray sitting there and holding it out hopefully towards the frightening creature that his wife currently was. The tray held a plate piled high with what looked like lumps of coal and a glass with about a quarter of an inch of pulpy orange juice. There was a bundle of flowers in a soot-covered vase that were variously beheaded, burnt to a crisp, or drooping over the rim of the glass. In the center of the tray was a monstrosity of a paper heart, drenched in glue and shedding glitter. "Happy Valentine's day Babes!" He blurted, his voice a terrified high-pitched warble.

"I did the glitter and Annie did the markers, mommy!" Spieder announced proudly, taking his mother's silence as a good thing.

Emboldened by her brother's sudden eagerness, Krickette jumped up and down, clapping her hands together as excited little children did as she beamed proudly up at her mother. "I helped daddy make the choco-ant-chip pancakes!"

Spieder jumped up and down to, raising his hand excitedly like he learned to in school when he wanted to talk. "And I made the orange juice!"

Lydia's eye nearly twitched as she noticed the mounds of orange peels and puddles of juice all over her floors.

Betelgeuse faltered; lowering the tray, he nervously sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. "L… Lyds? Babes? Y… you… aren't… aren't you gonna yell?" His voice was small and his shoulders began to hunch in fright.

Lydia took a deep breath. "You… destroyed the kitchen…" Her voice was low, and deadly quiet.

Betelgeuse flinched at the same time the kids did, all three cowering against the inevitable tirade that was about to befall them.

"Awww." Betelgeuse lifted his head back up to see Lydia clasping her hands against her chest, those big doe eyes watery as she carefully made her way towards him. "You guys are so sweet!"

Betelgeuse let out a heavy, relieved sigh as his shoulders slumped with that same relief while the kids cheered and clapped their hands. "Yeah well… it's Valentine's day, Babes. Will you be mine?" He asked with a cheeky grin.

Lydia chuckled and ducked under the tray and her husband's arms to wrap her own around his waist. "Only if you'll be mine." She stood on the tips of her toes to kiss the end of his nose. When she'd settled back down onto her heels, she fixed him with a serious, dead-eyed expression. "I'm not cleaning this up."

Betel let out a weak laugh and lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. "Heh… I know. Sorry. The batter melted the pan, then the sto-"

She lifted a finger to his lips, silencing him. "You know… I really don't want to know, love."

Betel chuckled again and hugged her tightly as the kids began wiping their glue-covered hands on each other's shoulders. "Love ya lots Lyds."

"Mmm. And as much as I love you:-" she stood on her tiptoes again to kiss the corner of his lips. "There's no possible way I'm going to be able to eat those pancakes."

Betelgeuse just let out a choked sort of laugh and hugged her tighter.