Disclaimer: Don't own.

The hardest thing in life isn't to be alone, but to be alone and be able to remember the times when you weren't. I live that life. Day in and day out was all one big play, with I as its famous actor. Acting like an idiot, the loud mouthed dobe. Just to get a reaction from him. Even if I was being insulted, I was being looked at, spoken to, and thought of by him. I was the only one who could get those reactions from him.

In a world, in a time, and in a place where I don't belong. Now I am known as Tejina "Naruto" Kyuubi. But once, once I was Uzumaki Naruto, and how I wish I was still he and simutaneously wish I wasn't never was him. Either. Both sometimes. Anything but this life that I "live" now. I live in Konoha, a ninja village under the 12th Hokage.

But I remember the third Hokage. The stories of the fourth. The fifth. But it's the fact that I can remember them that's the problem. Well, I suppose the real problem is that I'm in love. No, no, that is NOT a good thing, so don't get the wrong idea.

You see I love Uchiha Sasuke. The great news is he loved me back. But there's that one little keyword the ruins my life everyday. "Loved." The bad news is that like Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke died 100 years ago. Uchiha Sasuke killed himself shortly after I died - rather, Uzumaki Naruto died. I, unfortunately, was graciously reincarnated, and given all my memories of my previous life, to live as if I had simply never died. I lived in the house where we used to. Sometimes I would lay awake at night and find myself listening for him to come back from his latest mission, waiting for him to come home again, which he is never going to do.

Sasuke was reincarnated too; I guess he really was right about that red string of fate. I bet you're thinking it's great he was reincarnated, you can just continue where you left off - well, you'd be wrong. Unlike me, he remembers nothing. The names Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke are nothing more to him then two tragic deaths in the history of Konoha. Two of my teachers, Iruka and Hatake Kakashi are back as well. Course, Iruka doesn't recognize me, and I haven't seen Kakashi yet to know if he does. Maybe I'll be lucky and find that fate decided to torture the half of every couple that died first.

So here I am, surrounded by people I remember, but will likely never remember me. There's Sakura - who I think doesn't hate me as much as she did at first in our last lives, but I'm also not wasting half of this one with a puppy love crush on her. Ino, Shikamaru, Hinata, and Kiba, all seem to be back as well. Maybe they'll all get together with each other again.

At least this time I'm not bad in school, but I suppose the nineteen years of training in my previous life and remembering it has helped a little. I'm not the best one, the easier jutsus always were harder for me, but I'm not the dobe anymore. We'll be splitting into groups very soon. It's odd now that we have to stay in training longer. We're 16 this time around.

"Ino, Shikamaru, Choji."

'Kuso! I should be paying attention! But I guess group 9 is together again after all.' I thought, smiling.

Shikamaru and Ino really do have that chance of getting together again. I wondered if Lee is around for Sakura. They'd been a strange couple, and Sakura had fought it for over half of her life, but eventually she'd relented and finally let Lee take her out on a date.

"Sakura, Sasuke, Kyuubi."

"Naruto." I corrected automatically. I hate being called Kyuubi. Fate must really have something against me. The nine-tails was no longer sealed within me, but you'd never know the difference. I still have the same scars along my cheeks, and the seal on my stomach. The only thing that seems to have changed is the fact that the nine-tail's chakra seems to have combined with my own.

Wait, did Iruka just pair me together with Sasuke and Sakura again? But that would make no sense. Sasuke's the best fighter, Sakura's the smartest, and I have the most chakra and control over it this time around. Team's are supposed to be built evenly, and the three of us compromise the top of three area's.

There hasn't been a day when I haven't wondered why it is that something saw fit to kill all of us and bring us back later. Sometimes it feels like I'm just living a rerun. Or maybe Iruka isn't as clueless as I thought. But it can't be - Kakashi is my sensei again. Of course, he was late. When he finally did show up even though there was only the three of us left, he decided to do attendance. Kakashi always was a bit odd.

"Masayume Sakura?"

"Hai"

"Musou Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Tsukino Naruto?"

"It's Nar- er, Hai?"

'That's interesting. How'd he know I like to be called Naruto?' I looked at him in confusion and he just looked over and winked. 'Oh boy does he have some explaining to do later!'

"Today will be introduction. Tomorrow, training begins. Naruto, you're going first."

"Hai. My name is Kyuubi though I hate being called that and prefer to be called Naruto. I hate people who judge others without knowing them for themselves. I like when things go right, and my dreams are - 'To be with Sasuke again.' But of course, I didn't say that aloud. "To one day be the thirteenth Hokage." Which got me another wink from Kakashi.

"Sasuke. Your turn."

"Hn. Sasuke. I dislike loud mouthed bakas. I like...little. My dreams are to someday fulfill them."

Well, least he wasn't talking about killing his brother this time. Course, he did just insult me but that was perfectly fine. I missed our fights. If you go years fighting with a person, you can't just stop doing it. At least while he's yelling and insulting me he's showing someone an emotion.

Sakura's introduction was nearly the exact same as before, minus the insults to myself. That girl needs to learn that has her own man, even if she hasn't met him yet, so she can't have mine! Kakashi said as little as he did the first time. I do miss Sakura in a way though, after her and Lee got together things weren't as violent between us as they had been. But it'll be a long time at least before she even begins to remember me, if she does.

Overall, things went much as they used to for the next few months. I found out Kakashi did remember everything as I wondered if he did. It came in handy because he would often pair Sasuke and Sakura together and having me work with him. Working with him I actually got a chance to learn and improve again, Sasuke was still my favorite person to spar with, but he didn't have the advantage of remembering a lifetime of training like I did. On a few days when Kakashi saw that Sakura's attempts to get Sasuke were not only annoying Sasuke but also distracting me to the point where I wasn't learning anyway, Sasuke and I'd be together.

The worst day of my life was when Sasuke agreed to go on a date with Sakura. When Sakura was raving to me like she did on a few occasions, I felt horrible and betrayed. Like Sasuke was cheating on me. And then I would be mad at myself because I no longer had any rights over Sasuke. In this incarnation, Sasuke isn't mine. He's not even the same Sasuke anymore.

Most people probably wouldn't notice the differences, but I do. On some levels, he's very different. He's still an orphan and alone, but Itachi never existed. His parents had been killed on a mission together. He's not as bitter, and no longer filled with vengeance. He reminds me more of the Sasuke I knew after he killed Itachi. After we were together. Which is why I find myself here, on top of the Hokage monument, wondering why I'm even here, why it is I remember everything and Sasuke nothing. Why even though Sasuke sacrificed himself to kill my murderer, we still couldn't be together. I don't want to be here anymore, constantly being reminded of the days before, when everyone hated me and I was alone. Alone as I am now.

I've been sitting here, remembering, thinking, feeling. I feel old and lonely. Even without being the kitsune, the villagers still seemed to know who I was. The looks, the name, it was all slightly more then a coincidence.

"Dobe. It's late you baka and we have a mission tomorrow."

"Sasuke? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on your date with Sakura?"

"I was. But I left. It wasn't where I wanted to be. Where I needed to be. For some reason everything in me was screaming at me that I should be here. Apparently with you."

"Maybe your hearts trying to tell you something your mind forgot."

"What did you say?"

'Kuso! I said that aloud!'

"Nothing. It was nothing."

"No it wasn't. Naruto what did you say?"

"I told you, it was nothing."

"If it was nothing, then there should be no big deal about telling me."

"Fine. I said maybe your hearts trying to tell you something your mind forgot."

Sasuke shook his head, like he was trying to remember something but just couldn't.

"That sounds familiar. Hauntingly so, like someone said something like it to me before."

"Maybe someone did. Look Sasuke, like you said, it is getting late, and you should really go back to your date...and Sakura. Ja ne." I stood up to walk away when he called to me.

"Naruto, I'm not going back to Sakura."

"Why are you telling me?"

"…Because that same thing in me says you needed to know. I don't know. Ja dobe."

"Konbanwa Sasuke." I whispered as he walked in the other direction, back towards his house. But if he heard me, he didn't say anything.

He acted differently around me now. It was…unsettling, yet welcome. There were times when he would be a complete bastard, then there were others, like that night. On some occasions, for instance, he'd bite my head off for trying to talk to him, and when he looked hurt that I was working with Kakashi over him. The biggest shock though came from the middle of nowhere.

"Baka!"

"What? Pretty-boy Sasuke and all his followers upset over me being a little late?"

"You are such a dobe you baka! Kitsune, do the words M.I.S.S.I.O.N mean anything to you?"

"WHAT did you just call me?" I all but shouted.

"Dobe…baka."

"After those!"

"Kitsune."

Ok, that name would affect me. Sasuke always called me kitsune after we got together. He'd already found out who I was before that, and I guess he loved me just the same for it. But that name, and him saying it shook me up so much that for the whole mission I didn't talk to anyone - for two weeks. I was too shocked and surprised, I'd long given up that Sasuke would ever remember me, and then all of a sudden something from our past appears. Maybe Kakashi overheard because he never said anything, or he guessed the truth of where, or rather - when my mind was.

I think even if Sasuke didn't realize it, he was remembering the past - names, places, sayings, and actions. All parts of the Sasuke I knew from the past and they were merging with the Sasuke I knew today.

"Ano, Kakashi-sensei, do you think he remembers anything?" I asked one day while we were training.

"Maybe. Don't get your hopes up too high Naruto. Even if he does remember, he may not have all his memory like we do. And if he does, he might not accept it was what it is, and pass it off as a very strange dream. You and I do accept because we always had those memories. Imagine if suddenly all our memories of the past came to us now."

"How is it with Iruka-sensei?"

"It's...slow. Hard, because I'm not sure how to act sometimes. Like the cold person I was before, or how it was after. He's starting to remember me now though I think, and he has some memories of you from what I understand."

"Good...good."

"We can only hope Naruto."

"Hai, I know."

"Ano, Sensei, I'm going to go train with him now."

"Hai. Naruto, just remember that even if he does accept everything if he remembers, the rest of the village might not."

He wasn't implying the fact of who we were, but rather who we were together, and I knew it.

"I never cared about what they thought then, and I won't now." I replied walking over to join Sasuke. He'd been practising his jutsu control and was standing sideways on a tree when I walked over.

"Hey Sasuke."

"What're you doing? Shouldn't you be training with Kakashi-sensei?"

"Nah. I'm training with you today. Be prepared to have your ass kicked."

"Hn. Whatever Kitsune."

"Wait, wait. Sasuke why'd you call me Kitsune?"

I let the chance to call him on refering to me 'Kitsune' pass once because it startled me then. But this time, I wasn't going to let it.

"Because of a dream I had. It seemed so real, real like maybe it had happened. I don't know, it gave me the weirdest sense of deja vu."

"Like a memory?"

"Hai. But that's foolish. I've never called you Kitsune."

"No, it's not foolish. Never."

"Dobe, what in Kami's name are you saying?"

"Something I can never explain to you. You'll have to learn on your own." I said and then threw a kunai at him, stopping any further conversation.

It was actually months later that drew the final event. Things were getting rough for me. Loneliness had been seeping in by the second. Sitting on the edge of the monuments, I was wondering if there really was a point in living this life all over again. But once again, Sasuke seemed to find me, as he always had.

"Trying to leave me again Kitsune? Catch." He said, throwing something at me. I looked down to see red thread.

"Why?"

"If you kill yourself now, I'll be stuck following you all over again. You try arguing with fate to reincarnate you. I really don't want to waste all that time again when I finally understood what you meant back then."

"What, Nani?" I asked, completely confused. You would've thought it would be obvious to me, but for once I seemed as clueless as I used to be.

"When I died before, Fate wasn't going to send me after you. I begged, pleaded, and actually lost the argument. Then something seemed to change her mind, and she said that our thread was stronger then she expected. You were calling to me from the life you were living already, and she couldn't take your pain. Things went so fast however that she never got a chance to tell me I wouldn't remember anything unless I wanted to remember. Kakashi and you - you died first so every time you were reborn you were instinctively searching and hoping that Iruka and I would come along. So now that I remember, I want to tell you - I love you.

"Nani!"

"Gomen Naruto. A thousand times over, gomen. For everything. Not remembering, for taking so long to do so. It seems we've switched roles."

I sat there, shocked, not really believing this was happening. He must've spent the last few months remembering everything.

"Ano Sasu-chan, do you really remember everything?"

"Hai. It's true Kitsune, you can believe."

"Ar...Arigotou."

"Nani?"

"For finally coming home."