Hey there! Long time no see, huh? As I have a very busy real life, I could barely have time to write, so little by little, I made this tiny chapter ^^
It's not much, but I promise that the next chapter would be much longer than the rest of the story.
I am also writing something about my last OS (The Fantastic Four), like a sequel to that (one chapter only), but I can't tell you much than that YET.
You tell me what you think about this chapter, right?
After having sent Danny back into his house, Steve remained motionless in his chair for hours, until the sun set beyond the horizon. He hadn't moved an inch and it worried the detective. He felt powerless, watching his heart brother fell into darkness without being able to do something for him. But what he knew, it was that forcing Steve to talk wasn't the best idea in the world. The more he would be forced to talk, the more he would slip away. He knew this, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud. He knew people who physically and externally acted very strong, while inwardly, they were a mess. But Steve had been trained not to talk, so he knew that the easy way wasn't an option; he wouldn't get what he wanted this way. His only way to let him open up was being there for Steve, making him understand that he could talk to him about what he had in his heart and his mind. He had to make the first step, just like he did when they were on the beach and Steve started telling about his past. The one he suspected to be Operation Strawberry Fields. The look of fright he had had when he started talking about it, he'd seen it on him years ago, when they had tracked down this guy who targeted NavySEALs and he'd had a slight look at the file talking about this Operation. He never had time to read anything, but if Steve's picture was inside, it was either because he was the leader of this Op, or because after what he had heard and understood, it had been made in order to rescue him. It was 10 in the evening, and Steve still hadn't moved. He had not drunk or eaten something. He could risk sunstroke and dehydration after having spent all this time in the sun. He got out of the house, going to the beach in order to be near Steve. He knew what he had to do now.
"Steve? You have to eat and drink something."
"I'm not hungry."
He expected that answer. Coming from Steve, he could easily know what to expect after all.
"Please. I know you're not feeling up to eat or drink, but your body needs it. Do it for me? Please?"
Inwardly, Steve was laughing hard, but it only translated with a long sigh. He knew he wasn't going to win this argument.
"Fine."
Steve got up, staggering to the kitchen and being surprised to eat all his plate without grumbling. Which of course satisfied Danny.
"Good! Now, you're gonna head upstairs and have a good sleep. And don't even think about putting your alarm on to 5 am in order to go for a run and a swim, you're not in shape for so. Alright?"
"Alright, mom."
After ten minutes, Danny finally helped Steve in bed and decided it would be wiser to let the light on. Just in case.
"Go back home, Danny. And grab a good sleep too."
"Sir, yes Sir!" he joked, saluting his best friend.
"he left, leaving Steve alone in his own house. But after three to four hours, he was still not asleep. He couldn't. Suddenly, the phone vibrated. In the middle of the night, it could only be two persons he knew. Steve picked up and placed his phone on his ear.
"Steve, you're up?"
Chin's voice.
"I wouldn't have answered if I wasn't up."
"Right. What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"Meet me then. Same place."
"Kay."
He hung up; Steve knew what he was talking about. It was a secret tradition they had since he had seen in Chin a change in their cases after Malia's death, a change he knew damn too well. He knew what he was dealing with, he knew how to read Chin like an open book. The fact of being alone when you're used to living with someone, it was a hard weight to bear. It was unbearable actually; you come home alone with no one to welcome you, you eat alone, you sleep alone, you live alone. You can't bear the absence of the loved one, you can't close your eyes and sleep or you wake up in the middle of the night with a cold and empty feeling next to you. And then, you can't go back to sleep. Steve knew that Chin couldn't sleep, and he now used to call him in the middle of the night, once every two days in order to meet him in a restaurant down his street and grab a coffee or two. Sometimes just reading papers, other times talking to each other. But this time, Chin called, and he knew why. He drove to the restaurant, parking outside and entering the little space, looking for Chin. Same spot as usual, with two newspapers and coffee, with sugar and milk on the table. He sat in front of his colleague, not uttering a word. Chin give him a newspaper and the milk; he knew Steve was a kind of guy looking for the perfect mix of milk and sugar before drinking his coffee. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. Thirty minutes. Chin couldn't bear the silence coming from his boss and friend. He dropped his papers, facing the Commander for the first time since it happened.
"I know you don't want to talk, Steve. So, I'm gonna talk and you listen."
Surprised, Steve raised his head for a few seconds before dropping it back to read the paper he had in hand. It took time, but he decided to take a sip of his coffee, harmoniously married with milk and sugar.
"More than anyone, I know what it is. We both know. You won't admit it out loud, but killing Wo Fat had certainly been the hardest choice you had to make so far. But you never had a chance, Steve. There was no other option."
"No. No, it hasn't been hard. He killed my father, he almost killed my mom, my sister and all of you more than once. He tortured me twice and almost put a bullet in my head. So no, it was the easier choice I've ever made."
"I don't mean it like this."
In fact, Steve knew exactly what he was talking about. And he could see in Chin that he understood too.
"What he did to us. What he did to you is inexcusable. Unforgivable. I know that as a NavySEAL, you've been through Hell more than once in the fields. In Afghanistan, or somewhere else. But one thing for sure; he won't ever do that again."
"I know, Chin."
"I know you. More than you want to admit. More than I want to admit even. And I know you're not okay. I can see it, I can feel it. You know you can talk to us when something's wrong, right?"
When Chin talked about "us", he meant their team. But Steve... He was the only one who served in the Navy, he was the only one able to understand what he was going through. No one could understand. He could talk to nobody. Not about this.
"Chin, with all the respect I have for you, nobody. You hear me? Nobody can understand what I've been through. Is that clear?"
With that, Steve got up and decided to leave. It was rough coming from him, he knew it. But on one hand, he did not want to talk about all that. And on the other hand, he was not the type of guy talking about this with anyone, let alone with a "civilian", a non-military dude. He shook his head as he entered his car. What was he doing? Rejecting help from a friend? He started to drive home, parking the car in front of his house before collapsing on the sand from the beach he had behind his house. He let the waves scratching him more than once, breathing the iodized air and the salty scent of the foam. He was bad. Truly bad. He did not know what to do, he was lost. Luckily, his mobile slipped into the back pocket of his pants was still intact, untouched by the dampness of the sea. He dialed the first number coming through his mind, and let himself be guided by his hands. A ring. Two rings. Three ringtones. Someone finally answered.
"Steve?"
"Danny, I..."
"What is it, Steve?"
Danny straightened in his bed, his phone still in hand. But after ten seconds, he still had no answer, so his concern increasingly grew.
"Can you come over?"
"Uh... Yeah, of course, I can. I'm here at ten."
He hung up, not taking the time to change. He didn't bother; his jogging pants and his shirt were enough; Steve already saw him less dressed before. In less than ten minutes, he was on the threshold of Steve's house. He knocked and entered, deactivating and reactivating the alarm system before looking for Steve in the entire house. But he wasn't there. Danny's heart stopped for a second as his negative thoughts hunted him once again. What was happening? Something bad? He shook his head and headed downstairs to go to the beach. It was Steve's sanctuary when he felt bad, which wasn't surprising after what happened a couple days ago. Once on the still warm sand, he saw a feature lying down the beach. A body hit by waves. His eyes grew wide, and within a second, he ran toward this form.
"Steve."
He screamed with all the strength he had, running as fast as he could, faster than he could expect. Faster than he would admit one day. He dropped to his knees once arrived near his friend while they both were hit by waves. He urgently took Steve's head and slapped slightly his cheeks until he could have an answer. A deep breath, a coughing fit, eyes wide open meeting Danny's concerned look. The sailor clung to him in a most astonishing way: he grabbed his shirt soaked with a trembling hand, squeezing his grip as if trying to get lost in him. But Danny... Danny had understood everything. He had read his brother as in an open book. And it broke his heart. He sighed, taking great care not to let his own tears flow while without a word, Steve was opening to him. His head on his chest, his hand clinging to the collar of his shirt, his body trembling under the effect of salt water having beaten him while thinking back to every moment he had spent in this shabby and wet room. Tears, the ones he never allowed himself to show, flowing freely down his cheeks like a waterfall. He put his left arm on Steve's temple, locking his head on his chest, his other hand making a terrible effort to join Steve's free hand so that their fingers intertwined. He was going to show him all the support he could give him, without a single word. Danny understood one thing when he saw his partner like this: Steve showed nothing, keeping everything to himself, when in fact he was perhaps the most fragile of them. And when you accumulate too much, one day the dam had to give way. And what Wo Fat had done to him was the last drop.
Steve had convinced Wo Fat that he would never break him. He had even convinced himself, even his partner and best friend. But deep down, the fear of death he had felt in front of Wo Fat... It didn't break him. It shattered him.