Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.

Chapter 6 I'm a coward

With Fred gone, Harry was sometimes hesitant to go to the Weasleys for Sunday dinner. A piece was missing, and Harry often blamed himself. If he had turned himself into Voldemort sooner… If he had been there to try to save him… If he could have found a way to avoid the Final Battle altogether.

The Weasleys didn't blame him, of course, not even George. The remaining twin was often either incredibly solemn or trying to act like his old self. For Fred. Fred wouldn't have wanted him to never smile or laugh again, Mrs. Weasley often said.

"So Harry, I hear you have a girlfriend." George clapped him on the back rather hard, knowing that he was absolutely humiliating him. At least he was happy tonight… "So where is she?"

Harry glared at Ginny, who was snickering and digging into her dinner. "I'm not sure."

"She couldn't come?" George asked. "Or are you afraid to bring her around Mum?"

"George!"

"She's not my girlfriend," Harry muttered. They didn't exactly talk about it. How they felt was acknowledged, and they wrote constantly, day and night, but… "It's not like that."

George laughed. "Definitely afraid to bring her around Mum."

"She's getting married," Harry finally said flatly. George blinked in surprise. "To someone else."

"Oh shit…"

Harry shrugged and started picking at his food. Now half the table was glaring at Ginny. "Just drop it. How are things going at the shop?"

Conversation awkwardly continued. Ron was struggling with the essay portion of his Auror Academy application. Hermione was studying day in and day out for law school and even brought a textbook to the table. Mrs. Weasley was trying to hide her disapproval of reading during family dinner by bringing out dessert. Everything slowly crept back to normal until it was time to go.

"Stop telling people I'm seeing someone," Harry hissed to Ginny as everyone said their goodbyes and lined up at the floo.

Ginny shrugged, not sorry in the slightest. "You just need a push in the right direction."

"What direction?" Harry whispered. "There's nothing I can do!"

Ginny raised her eyebrows, somehow looking down on him even though he was slightly taller. "If you love her, go get her."

She hopped into the fireplace before Harry could tell her that that was impossible.

Despite Mother's words in the hospital, the wedding was still on. Kamelia struggled through the wedding planning sober and struggled even more with the mind healer Daddy set up. Every day, she just wanted to go to bed with a glass of wine. Instead, she was surrounded by last minute plans for flower arrangements in the bathrooms or where the guests would put their gifts. Kamelia felt like she was drowning.

She was exhaustedly leaving the owlery with a catalog for her honeymoon outfits from Mother when she collided with Potter. They stared at each other for a moment. Kamelia tried not to look at him unless absolutely necessary since they day they had met. This was the first time in seven years they had even been this close to each other.

"Excuse me," Potter said flatly. Kamelia bit her lip and then kept walking, annoying Potter further. "Even though you were the one who wasn't looking."

Kamelia looked over her shoulder, not even at Potter, just in his general direction. With no emotion, she lazily said, "Potter, you disgust me."

She hurried off as Potter laughed bitterly. Even though she was "better" as Mother said, Kamelia felt like every interaction she had was forced, fake. There was only one person she was herself with, a virtual stranger.

I want to meet you, she wrote one day as winter melted into spring.

When? He wrote almost immediately.

Eager much? she wrote rudely, even though her heart skipped a beat with a mixture of relief and nervousness.

I've wanted meet you for a long time. I just figured you didn't want to. Kamelia bit her lip. In a way, she didn't. Because she knew that the moment they were faced to face, she would be unable to go through with her marriage to Theo. And then, she'd lose her family, her home, and more likely than not, her friends.

There were less than four months left in the school year. It was more than enough time to slowly move money into a private account without Father noticing. The Malfoys had so much money that he wouldn't notice a few thousand galleons missing unless the goblins alerted him. Given his treatment of them, she doubted that they would unless he asked, especially since the accounts she would take from were from her trust fund.

I can't be seen. Would a goody two shoes Gryffindor skive off classes?

I've skived off for less.

Oh excuse me. I forgot I wasn't talking to a crying little Hufflepuff.

You probably are a Hufflepuff and were pretending to be a badass Slytherin this whole time. You don't have to be ashamed. Quite a few of the bravest people I've ever met were Hufflepuffs.

Kamelia snorted, causing Pansy to glare at her. For once, her best friend was burying herself in her schoolwork. I guess you'll see. She'd pick the middle of the week, when everyone was knee deep in homework, so there wouldn't be a lot of students skipping. Wednesday?

At the Hogshead? Not a lot of people go there. What time? I'll be the bloke with the flowers.

How romantic. Kamelia's chest constricted with nerves. It wasn't too late to back out…

I'll put a dungbomb in the bouquet. Just for you.

But she didn't want to back out. She was just afraid. And excited. Noon.

She did her makeup, curled her hair, and spent a good hour trying on outfits before choosing the perfect one. Only to see Harry FUCKING Potter was waiting for her. Kamelia jumped into the nearest store before he could see her.

She tried not to hyperventilate as she pretended to browse the shop. Did he see her? Of all the people, he had to be the one at Hogwarts who hated her the most. And for good reason.

August 19th 1992

"Are you lost?" Kamelia managed to slip away from Mother, who was looking at potions to help her Grandfather's rash. He hadn't been feeling well lately, and her parents' nervousness about it made her uneasy. She needed an escape.

The boy, whose green eyes made her blush when she looked into them, frowned. "Is this Diagon Alley?"

"Knockturn Alley," she corrected, feeling smart. Her brother always knew everything. It was nice to know more than someone for once. "But I can show you the way."

"Please," he said politely.

"Do you go to Hogwarts?" she asked. "I'm going this year. My brother said you have to fight a dragon to get sorted."

His lips twitched at her worriedness. "You have to put on a hat. It talks."

Kamelia blushed again and looked ahead. Out of the corner of her eye, she was surprised to see that he wasn't laughing at her. He was being genuinely kind. "That's what Mummy said. What's it like? Hogwarts?"

He broke out into a dreamy smile that made her heart flutter. "Home. Only better."

She wasn't used to someone who was nice just to be nice, who wanted to talk to her just to talk to her. It through her for a loop, and Kamelia had to say she liked it. She couldn't help but ask, "What's your family name?"

The boy frowned. She didn't ask for his name. Before they could be friends, she had to know who his family was. The fact that he didn't seem to understand only made her want to be friends with him more. Mummy said she couldn't be friends with just anyone.

"Kamelia!" Speak of the devil. Mummy snapped at her, a rarity that made Kamelia flinch and feel like a terrible daughter. "What did I tell you about running off? And who are you speaking to? A filthy boy in Muggle clothing. It's obvious why his parents aren't present."

Humiliation and fear burned through Kamelia as she was tugged away. What if Mummy didn't love her anymore? That's what Grandfather said would happen if she made friends with mudbloods, and, according to Mummy, this boy was obviously a mudblood.

The boy stared in shock, and, although she didn't want to, Kamelia forced herself to make the meanest face she could at him. She thought she had found a friend, but she didn't. At the time, she didn't realize how conditional she thought her family's love was. Today, she wasn't sure if she was entirely wrong.

But from that day on, she was as viciously cruel to Harry Potter as she could possibly be.

"God damnit!" she whispered to herself as her eyes starting to sting. As soon as Potter saw her, he'd want nothing to do with her. She'd have to wait for him to leave.

I waited for you for two hours, he wrote that night, most likely after his temper cooled. Kamelia knew that she would certainly be furious.

It would be easier if she could lie. She could say she saw him and was disgusted with him, but that wasn't true. Lying to him was something she grappled with on a daily basis. Life would be so much easier if she could lie and say she couldn't be bothered with filthy halfblood. Then, she could go through with the wedding knowing she burned all her bridges and couldn't go back. But Kamelia couldn't bare it.

I saw you and knew you'd want nothing to do with me.

That's not true.

You've never liked me.

I've always liked you. I love you.

You know what I mean! Face to face! In real life! You hate me!

Kamelia squeezed her eyes shut as he started to respond. He'd guess it was her, and that'd be the end of it. There was no one in Slytherin that Potter hated more. No one besides her brother that is.

You didn't give me a chance to prove you wrong. You were too much of a coward to take the risk. Did you ever intend to meet me?

Yes. His words stung because they were true. Rejection was one of her worst fears, something she could never handle. She thought that she would be willing to accept her family's rejection for him, but she wasn't. Not when he could reject her too.

Really? Because I'm wondering if you would've shown up if I was Seamus or Dean. Or what about Ron? He's a pureblood.

It's not like that, she wrote as she wiped her eyes.

Yes it is. You turned around because you realized what it would mean for you if you showed up. You weren't afraid of rejection. You were afraid of me accepting you for who you are because no one else does and that would mean abandoning your charmed, fake little life you're miserably forcing yourself into.

That's not true!

Kamelia hyperventilated slightly as she waited for him to reply. Harry!

He didn't answer.

"You haven't gotten out of bed in three days," Draco said. Now that his sister wasn't drinking, she was even more of a shell of herself than she was before. Kami turned her head slightly, letting her limp, unwashed hair fall on her face. "You have therapy today."

At first, he thought she wasn't going to answer. Then, Kami mumbled miserably, "If I get out of bed, I'm going to Three Broomsticks."

With an irritated sigh, Draco sat at the foot of her bed. "Have you eaten?" Silence. "Are you going to tell me what's the matter?"

"Would you still see Astoria if she was a halfblood Gryffindor?" A half answer was better than nothing he supposed.

"If she was still her otherwise," he said slowly, "then yes. Without a doubt."

Kami pushed herself up and stared him down, trying to catch him in the nonexistent lie. "I want to call off the wedding."

Draco's eyebrows shot up, even though her words hadn't exactly surprised him. The fact that she was saying them surprised him, but the fact that she was thinking them did not. That was why he asked, "Are you going to?"

Kami glared at him. "No."

"Well that's on you." Draco looked away at her wounded, little sister look. Everyone treated her like a baby. She was too used to everyone solving all of her problems for her. "If you want your life to change, you have to change it, Kami."

"Whatever," she mumbled, turning away from him. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Who's the bloke?" he couldn't resist asking.

"What?"

"Whatever idiot you've managed to trick into falling in love with you," he drawled.

She turned back to narrow her eyes at him. His sister wasn't in the mood for his jokes and picked up her journal, waving it in his face. "He doesn't know who I am."

"So that's why he hasn't ran for the hills," he joked, trying to tease her out of bed, even if it meant she'd be chasing him with her wand. "Do you know who he is?"

"Harry Fucking Potter."

That shut him up. Draco awkwardly mumbled something even he didn't understand and headed back to his room. Perhaps it was best to leave her be…

"You were shaking at the bridal shower," Mother said quietly. "Were you—?"

"No," Kamelia said quietly. Before Mother could ask what the issue was, she whispered, "Do you love Daddy?"

Mother softened. "Of course, my flower."

"But he said—"

"I know what he said." Mother thinned her lips at all the awful memories. "He was angry, and when he's angry, he always turns into his father."

Kamelia frowned and ran her fingers over the piles upon piles of gifts that were showered upon her today. The night was slowly turning into morning, and she only managed to open half. She was rewarded greatly for doing her duty. "Did you love him when you married him?"

Mother laughed as if she told her that she was a fairy princess, like she thought her words were ridiculous, a childlike fantasy. "Of course not! We were merely acquaintances."

"So when did you," Kamelia asked slowly. Her throat felt like it was constricting. "Love him, I mean."

A sweet, almost sad, smile spread across her mother's face. "The day you were born."

Over ten years after they had married. Kamelia felt the walls closing in on her just thinking about it. Because the fact was, she didn't even like Theo. He wasn't a bad person or anything. She just… had no interested in him. "Why?"

"Because he finally showed that he was human." Mother put her hand on Kamelia's arm, feeling how tense it was. "Everything will turn out how it's supposed to be, my love."

No. It wouldn't. Kamelia pulled away from her mother. "I'm going to bed."

Hermione nitpicked at his grammar. And his atrocious handwriting. And his writing style. So Harry found himself applying to the Auror Academy in Three Broomsticks, somewhere Hermione wouldn't be caught dead lately because she was too busy studying.

"I don't get why they're even making us fill out the application," Ron grumbled.

"A formality," Harry mumbled. Or at least, that's what Kingsley told him. Should he ask McGonagall before listing her as a reference? Hermione would say yes.

Ron laughed almost bitterly and put his butterbeer to his lips. After taking a sip, he smirked. "Your girlfriend approve of your career choices?"

"Not you too," Harry groaned. "And she's not my girlfriend! She may have… bore witness to my temper."

Ron whistled low. "Well… Ginny's still single, mate."

"Shut up, Ron," Harry muttered as he tried to think of his three best qualities to put on the application. "We were supposed to meet, and she stood me up."

"Why?"

"She saw me and was intimidated by my fame," Harry said dryly. Ron raised his eyebrows, and he sighed. "She saw me before I saw her and ran off, thinking I'd want nothing to do with her."

Ron put his butterbeer down and seemed deep in thought. Harry could only imagine what kind of blunt, borderline rude speech was going to come out of his mouth. "So now you want nothing do to with her?"

"No," Harry snapped, even though he hadn't spoken to her since.

Like it was no big deal, Ron shrugged. "I guess you've gotta get over it then, mate. Wait until she thinks you don't care. And uh, wait until she gets over it, I guess."

Harry stared for a moment, tempted to take a leaf out of Snape's book and call Ron an idiot. Finally, he muttered, "She'll be married by then."

"Well—" Before Ron could give any further stellar advice, the last person Harry expected interrupted their conversation.

"Potter." Malfoy looked rather uncomfortable. More so than he had been lately. "We need to talk."

Thank you for the reviews myafroatemydog, gr8rockstarrox, chc91776, and mmoore1545!

chc91776: The last chapter was kind of the climax of the story so the mood will start picking up!