Sookie's POV
I know I'm playing Russian roulette and risking giving into my body's desires, but I don't want to return to sitting at the more formal kitchen table. Besides, I know attempting to read my book now would prove to be even more futile than before. I think about what I would have wanted to hear when Gran passed away, and I finally have something to say to Eric.
"He was really happy."
Eric's face becomes blank and he looks at me intently.
"Godric. I asked him if it hurt and he said he was full of joy. He had a huge smile on his face before he turned to watch the sun rise."
Eric's eyes soften and for a moment I think he may start to cry. After a momentary pause, I continue.
"He asked me if I believed in God and I told him I believe God loves and forgives-not punishes- even though none of us deserve His mercy."
Now a single, solitary, red drop begins to roll down Eric's left cheek. I'm a bit chagrined. I mean to offer him solace, not cause him pain.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you; I just thought you'd want to know." I think about all the loved ones I've lost in my life again, and how I don't have that assurance at all about them-actually I know they were in pain when they'd passed. I wish Gran and Mom and Dad had known peace in their final moments. And while Eric silently cries on the other end of the couch I find myself lost in my own grief.
"Who have you lost?"
I am surprised by Eric's question, and his tear streaked face mirrors mine, not counting the blood. "My parents died in a flash flood when I was little and my Gran, who raised me and Jason, was murdered just a little while ago."
Eric's back straightens as I say the last bit and his face becomes set in stone-it is a scary look given his blood drenched face, "We must find this killer and make sure justice is served."
I am a bit taken back by his sudden protectiveness, "Oh, well, you don't have to worry about that. When he came after me I, um, I took care of him myself." I look down at my hands, and I swear I can see the metaphorical blood on them. I look Eric in the eye, "It was self-defense."
Eric's eyes flash with pride and he lets a small smile cross his face, "You are full of surprises, Sookie Stackhouse." After pausing to wipe his tears away with a handkerchief, "I've known that ever since you told me you weren't especially sweet."
I blush and think back on our very first encounter.
"Tell me another secret of yours."
That, I did not expect. I think finding myself surprised yet again by this vampire. I have no idea what to tell him and I say as much.
Eric smiles a wide grin, "I guess I'm going to have to learn the hard way." He settles his back into the armrest so that his body is facing me and he continues, "Why is Lafayette so dear to you?"
Eric's POV
As soon as the words leave my lips I realize it is the wrong question to ask her, and I mentally curse myself for my sloppiness. I've let my guard completely down around her and stopped my usual strategizing.
I watch as her glistening face turns into a salt covered stone and she replies coldly, "None of your business."
Strangely, I find myself pierced by her abrupt harshness. I didn't feel that way the last time we'd spoken of the dealer and to say I am surprised by my own reaction is an understatement. She is getting further under my skin than I've allowed any human to get in centuries.
I feel at a loss to explain the justice and mercy of my actions and then I think back on Godric's condemnation of our lack of evolution.
Perhaps he was right.
Sookie's POV
I'm fuming and my fists are clenching and unclenching as I prepare to slap him for not the first time on the subject of Lafayette. I expect him to laugh, to look bored, to casually sweep away my anger. But as I watch, he does none of those things.
Eric looks lost in thought and I'm left alone with my own. How dare he do that to Lafayette!
"You are as fiercely protective of your loved ones as you are of yourself. You are willing to kill, or be killed, for them."
I was getting burned-out on being bewildered by Eric. But then, a conversation from one of my dreams of him flashs into my mind. "You think I'm bloodthirsty."
His eyebrows leap up, and I swear his fangs pop out slightly but then retract just as quickly. "I like that description of you," and he inches closer to me on the couch.
My heart is pounding and I'm holding my breath as he moves nearer to me still. I feel myself grow wet but I close my eyes, and try to steel myself against my body's desires. "I'm just loyal."
He smiles at that, "The best way to inspire loyalty and lead those around you."
His words help me calm down my libido as I focus on replying, "I don't need to be in charge of anyone but myself. Besides, I wouldn't exactly say that I have a lot of people who are loyal to me." My thoughts flash as I ponder just who I can trust. Jason, Sam…. I close my eyes as I will thoughts of Bill's betrayal from my mind. Tara, Lafayette. I strain as I mentally scroll through Bon Temps inhabitants, but I'm doubtful I'll find anyone else. Heck, even Jason was new to that list.
"You don't have many friends?" I open my eyes to find a frowning vampire peering down at me.
"Well, no."
His frown grows more severe, "This lowers my opinion of humans even more."
Eric's POV
The goal of understanding Godric's compassion for humans seems even farther away now. Perhaps Sookie isn't the best guide for this quest. But I have no desire to leave. In fact, this revelation makes me want to understand her even more.
"Why would you not have many friends?" I question her brusquely.
"Well, I'm not exactly normal…"
Hmmm… Well she does associate with vampires. Maybe her town is full of bigots. "So dating Compton caused you to lose your comrades?"
She looks confused, but after a moment she recovers, "Oh, no. I mean, well, that hasn't exactly helped me win any popularity contests, but Bill isn't to blame at all. I just… It's hard to be around people since I can read their minds."
I'd forgotten about that.
She continues, "That's part of why being around vampires is such a relief-they're big blanks."
Sookie's POV
Or at least, they should be. I think to myself ruefully.
Eric's concern over my lack of friends is, yet again, unexpected. I am surprised to find my hatred towards Eric over his punishment of Lafayette shrinking. I want to change the subject-talking about why I don't have many friends isn't exactly fun.
"Lafayette is doing well, and he told me you gave him your blood."
"Did he tell you why?"
I could tell he was watching me carefully, "He said his bullet wound was infected," I pause before continuing, "and you wanted to keep an eye on me."
At that response he smiles at me keenly and raises an eyebrow. I want to ask him why he cares about me when no one else seemed to, but I don't want to sound self-pitying, and a thought suddenly slams into me like a train.
"Did you have anything to do with Lorena's appearance in Dallas?"
His smile lessens the tiniest bit. "Would it surprise you if I did?"
"No." Of all the things that I'd learned about Eric lately, that was just about the most in-character news I would've heard. "But I could have died because you did." The gravity of that hits me as the words come out of my mouth.
He frowns, "That was not the desired result; you are too valuable."
Eric's POV
As that adjective crosses my lips, I wonder what exactly I mean when I say it.
Sookie's POV
"Too 'valuable,' eh? I suppose that's preferable to being disposable." Only by a slight margin.
Eric's frown does not let up, "Yes. It is."
Then, as abruptly as he'd come in, he stands up and announces it is time for him to leave.
Oh. I find that I'm quite saddened by the news, but I use my years of practice in hiding my reactions to not let it show.
"Okay. Let me walk you to the door. Are you sure you don't want any True Blood? I don't want it to go bad."
He turns to smile at me, "Somehow I have the feeling I'll be back again before that happens. And maybe next time I'll drink the awful stuff."
My heart pitter-patters at the news that he plans to return. And I allow myself one lustful scan over the back of his long frame.
Eric leans down and kisses me gently on the lips. It's not quite a peck because he gives me a sneak peek of what a real second kiss with him would be like.
"Sweet dreams." And with that, he takes flight.
I lock the door behind him, thinking to myself, Somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem.