Authors Note: Finally Chapter Six, after all this time. Took me long enough, if I say so myself.
Without You (There'd Be No ME)
A Sirius Black/OC
Not in the mood Tonight
Chapter Six
I locked myself up in my room, for the remainder of the evening.
For the first time in a long time, I used the excuse that I had homework that needed to be done, and did not want to be disturbed.
HahahaH!
Guess we can all imagine the looks, on my fellow Gryffindors faces, when they heard that dumb excuse coming out of my mouth.
They knew I never did any schoolwork, unless I absolutely needed too.
And if I did them, it was mostly during class.
Nevertheless, they didn't say anything about it.
Just to be clear on the subject;
I actually did make my homework that evening, I guess I used it as an excuse, to take my mind off of things.
With things meaning; The detention, which was rapidly drawing nearer.
I wasn't in the mood to meet Professor Black tonight.
I just didn't know what to make of him, and that scared me.
It made me feel nervous, and not in control of the situation, two feelings I hated with a vengeance.
I guess overall, I thought he was a handful and too arrogant, for his own good.
Nope I wasn't planning on going tonight!
He would just have to sit there, in his classroom, at his desk, waiting for me, realising too late, he was going to spent this evening, alone.
But that meant escaping.
Leaving the Castle all together.
At least, that was what I thought, was the best thing to do in a situation like this.
If Professor Black got it in his head, to come and look for me, he would never in his wildest dreams, believe I wasn't inside 'these' walls.
And come for me, he would. At least that's what Kaylee told me, he would do. I didn't dare doubt her.
Now how was I ever going to accomplish, pulling off the greatest escape in my Hogwarts History? You ask me…
I knew for a fact that the Gryffindor common room, would probably be the first place, Black would look for me.
So hiding out in here, was a bad idea.
Conclusion: I couldn't stay!
But that meant I had to go somewhere else…
I remember my next thought being, somewhere along the lines off;
Perhaps somewhere else inside the castle, would be safe.
I could roam the hallways after dark.
Problem was, we were not allowed though, to roam the hallways after curfew.
If I was going to do something as hazardous as that, I had to make sure, that I did not run into a Prefect or Headboy, on their rounds.
-Yet- I had an excuse, if I got caught, right?
'I simply would be on my way, to serve detention with Professor Black'
No, that wasn't going to work…..Sighing loudly, I dismissed the idea.
Realising that, those nasty 'figures' would probably make sure, they'd left me in, the good Professor his care, instead of leaving me all alone.
There was also the chance, of running into people, along the way.
That, I needed to minimise, as much as possible.
The less people saw me, the less people could provide Black with information about my whereabouts.
The more, he would struggle to actually find me.
I already knew, how I was going to accomplish that, though.
To avoid being seen by others, I would use the many secret passageways, located all around Hogwarts.
Which meant this problem was solved.
The front doors however, turned out to be a bit of a pickle.
I didn't know much about them, yet I figured Filch probably had closed them, earlier tonight.
Locking them at the same time.
Maybe they were even hooked up, to some sort of alarm system.
Seeing as they didn't want unwanted people getting in, let alone letting students out.
I couldn't be sure if I could leave the castle, through them,
without somebody finding out.
So I needed a way out of the castle without having to actually use the front doors.
Luckily however, I remembered something important the Weasley twins once told me, about a special trapdoor, leading well away from the Castle. However I had never used that one before.
What if they had lied to me?
Was I going to put all my faith, in something that might turn out to be a fairytale?
It was my only option. So…Yes I was!
If it turned out to be untrue, I could also figure out a plan B.
My mind was made up!
I was going for it.
If only humanity, had the ability to look through walls and doors…
Just imagine for a moment, what that would be like.
Than people would exactly know, what went on behind them.
We would have nothing to hide.
Cause….be honest, most people, hide another personality, behind who they appear to be in real life.
Its got something to do with; wanting to be socially acceptable.
Some do it on purpose, because they are afraid not to fit in.
Others without even realising it.
I've always wondered what people would find, if they were to observe me. What would they find noticeable?
How would I appear to them?
Perhaps they noticed, I ate in a peculiar kind of way, or that I had some crazy hobbies.
Perhaps they would see Professor Flitwick levitating himself, to reach the top shelve of a bookcase.
or Mistress McGonagall, sporting black leather knee-high boots and a riding crop.
Agh, Merlin! Now I've a mental picture of that, stuck in my head!
Anyway, who knows….
I do know however, what people would have found if they had been walking past the DADA office.
For I've seen it happen multiple times during that year.
Seeming as I spent most of my detentions in that very room.
*At the DADA Office...*
Black was found spinning round and round in his chair, simply passing the time.
He just loved doing that, acting like a big kid from time to time.
He liked the way it made him feel, like he didn't have a care in the world. Especially when he knew nobody was watching.
"WWEEEEEEEEEeee"
Sometimes he was just glad that nobody had X-ray vision, for people would probably think, that he had lost his marbles.
But Black was just bored, and when he was bored he got obnoxiously irritating.
He did, what any sane person would do in his eyes.
Simply trying to enjoy the moment...
While at the same time trying to fight off the dullness of daily life.
He had been grading papers before all this, and was now waiting for it to become 20:30pm.
That specific time meant, detention with Miss Frye.
It surprised him somewhat, that he actually was looking forward to seeing her again.
Especially after this mornings' lesson.
He was glad now that he had, had that talk with Miss McCartney, before meeting her friend again.
Otherwise things might become awkward quickly.
Honestly, that was one thing he wanted to avoid as much as possible tonight.
He needed her to trust him, at least enough for her to share some of her problems with him.
A mission he deemed quite impossible.
When Miss Frye had ran out on him during class, he had felt like he was to blame for things.
But it turned out to be something completely different.
At least if he should believe her Slytherin friend.
And who could ever believed a Slytherin?!
The fact that she couldn't properly use her wand, was new to him though.
No teacher had told him about it, not even the Headmaster.
Sure, he had notice her fumble around during his classes every now and then.
But this was poles apart from what he had expected it to be.
He had figured that either, the subject DADA had not been entirely her thing, for she struggled so much during it.
Or that she was just goofing around, screwing up on purpose.
Trying to get his attention, like all the other girls were doing.
According to him, she did come across as somewhat indifferent.
But in the end neither assumption had seemed to be the case.
He had never heard about a witch or wizard, not being able to use a wand.
Let alone see it with his own eyes. So that posed to be a problem.
He figured, if anyone might have heard about, there being others like her, it would be some of the other teachers.
But when he ask Minerva and Albus about it, they both we unable to help him further.
They did however admitted, that they had been aware of Miss Frye her problems.
Which he actually had found odd.
Why had they, not tried to help her fix things?
Had they given up on her…? he wondered,
Or maybe she had given up on herself, on ever fixing the problem.
Accepting the fact that she never would be able to 'wave a wand like a normal wizard'
If what Miss McCartney had shared with him was true, he could only assume she had.
Yet, he would like to here it coming from her mouth.
He wasn't so sure though, if 'THAT' Slytherin was to be trusted.
In all honesty, Sirius Black didn't care all that much for said 'breed' of students.
Yet some odd feeling, told him he might be, at least, when it came to her Gryffindor friend Miss Frye.
It appeared to him, that in some twisted universe, a relationship had managed form between the two girls.
Even though that should have been physically and mentally impossible.
He couldn't being to fathom, how a Gryffindor could stand being around a Slytherin for that long.
Let alone form a friendship.
He sure as hell could not.
Hah, the mere thought of him becoming friends with that greasy bat of the dungeons!
The thought alone seemed so preposterous!
However during their little talk, Miss McCartney had roughly explained the whole situation to him.
How Miss Frye had not been able to use her wand properly, during the start of their first year.
Only back then, the faults had consisted only of minor malfunctions.
But as the years past, things slowly had started to escalate, until lately things had rapidly started spiralling out of control.
Causing her to end up in the Hospital Wing, numerous of times.
Though even with all this information, he still didn't quite understand, how something as strange as this, was even possible.
Did Olivander make as mistake as he gave this girl her wand?
Impossible.
No, he really wanted to hear Fryes' intake on the whole situation.
Perhaps there was something, she hadn't told her friend about.
A missing key element, which would clear up the whole situation.
'The Slytherin' had shared with him; how she had tried to teach her friend, on numerous occasions, on how to use her wand in a proper way.
But failing miserably time and time again.
Apparently Miss McCartney wanted nothing more for this to stop, but could not do seem to fix this on her own.
At the end of the conversation, she even confided in him, how worried she was for her friends well-being.
A thing which uniquely surprised him!
It was during that time, that he had tasted some kind of loyalty for the Gryffindor, coming from the Slytherin.
A most peculiar thing.
Somewhere along the line, McCartney must have guessed his train of thoughts, for he had not spoken his assumptions out loud.
But before she left him to his own devices, she had turned around one last time.
Speaking the famous words, which had haunted him up till now;
"I'm not disloyal, my loyalty is just highly selective."
All in all, it turned out to be a most interesting little chat.
Sirius knew one thing though, you needed to watch yourself, when dealing with a Slytherin.
Especially this one! She may hold a soft spot for the Gryffindor girl, but that did not mean she held one for him.
He was sure of that.
Luckily for him though, he had no real reason to associate himself with her.
He just needed her friend to 'cooperate.'
Ouch!
The thought alone made him cringe, it almost seemed like he was using her.
Almost felt like that to him, and perhaps he was, yet at the same time there was something about the girl that sparked his interest.
She didn't act all googly eyed, when being around him.
Not like many of the other students, were already seemed to be smitten over him.
He had quite forgotten, what it felt like back in the days.
Being in Azkaban, for so long, caused you to forget about certain things.
And somehow, the things that used to feel important to him, now just felt meaningless, empty.
He liked that fact that, Frye ignored his good looks and pleasant demeanour.
No, instead she openly chose to mock him and his 'posy'
Which, truth be told, he desperately wanted to do for himself.
Merlin, even if he thought about them, he could feel himself get frustrated.
They could be so annoying at times, pestering him as they swarmed around him.
He figured, he had to be nice to them.
Simply because of the fact, that he was their teacher, and because he wanted them to trust him. (being an old Azkaban inmate and all)
But this was getting ridiculous!
He did not want to give them hope, where there was none.
And for one he was done, wooing school girls.
Nope, he actually liked the fact, that he had to endure her verbal abuse.
However, unlucky for her, one of his unwritten rules was:
'if you dish it out you have to be able to take it'
Sirius always had thought himself to be, the kind of person that would not give up on somebody.
He was a human being, and a teacher at that.
It just so happened to turn out that Snape had appointed Frye, as one of the students he had to use on winning 'The Bet.'
Getting on the girl's good side, was a must after that.
But no, he would help her, as a person and a teacher.
In the light of things, he had taken the liberty to sneak a peak at her grades, with were mostly graded from Acceptable to Good, except for the classes she actually needed to use a wand in. For example: Charms, Transfigurations, and DADA. Those classes were mainly graded Dreadful or Troll.
If anything, a lot of work needed to be done, in order for her to catch up.
After dinner he had decided to owl his best friend, Remus Lupin. He was a smart guy, at least compared to himself. Not that he thought he was dumb, but Remus always knew a way out of things, back when they were in school together. He had tried to explain things as carefully as he could in his letter. He even reread it, before sending it, using a owl from the school. Now all he could do was wait his friend to answer him.
The whole thing truly left him worried.
He stopped spinning for a moment to eye the clock.
It was currently 20:20pm…
It wouldn't be long now before she would show up.
If anything he was keen, to find out more about her 'problem'
It was the main reason he set this detention.
He simply wanted to find out more!
Not to punish her for storming out on him.
With a wave of his wand, he put on a kettle of tea.
It was the least he could do to make the girl feel at ease around him.
He was sure that if he would offered her a nice cup of freshly brewed tea, she would eventually warm up to him.
Or at least feel a bit less uncomfortable around him.
20:30pm came and went.
Just like 20:35pm did.
Where was she?! He found himself wondering.
Where was that good for nothing girl!
He had made sure, she knew about the time being 20:30pm
He had told Miss McCartney, who was suppose to tell her friend.
He even had sent her an owl during dinner time.
She had gotten his message.
He had seen his owl swoop in, and peck the crap out of her.
For a moment he considered if maybe he should have warned her, about his bird not being bite prove.
But where would have been the fun in that?
He had also seen her reaction.
He had never seen a more convincing death glare, on a students face. Except perhaps for her best friend.
She had some guts. And yet, here he it 20:40pm and still no Miss Frye.
He had a bad feeling about this.
She was a no show…
How dare she!
He found himself, reaching for the bottom drawer of his desk and taking out a familiar piece of parchment.
His oldest, most trusted, non breathing friend. The Marauders Map.
It normally was disguised as a blank piece of parchment.
But those who knew how to use it, could find something completely different in it.
He had to thank Harry for returning it to him.
Boy this sure brought back some fun memories.
If anyone knew where Miss Frye was, this baby would.
Sirius found himself drawing his wand again, just like he had done so many times before.
Tapping the Map once, with the tip of it, he muttered… "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."
And before he knew it, the contents of the map revealed itself, in front of his eyes.
'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present
THE MARAUDER'S MAP'
Pretty soon his own nickname was spelled out in front of him.
It felt odd to see it again, in this form, and after so many years.
It felt even weirder though, to see those of his former friends.
He had lost contact with all of them, during his imprisonment.
Or to be completely honest, he had lost James and Peter before that.
'Prongs' James Potter had died during an attack by Voldemort. He and his wife Lily had been betrayed by 'Wormtail' Peter Pettigrew.
It was Sirius however, who received the blame for it all.
12 years he spend in Azkaban, 12 years…
So naturally all contact with Peter was shortly lived. If he ever found himself face to face with that scumbag, he would personally kill him. That is if Lupin did not manage to talk him out of it.
Azkaban would be a much more appropriate place.
Let Peter rot behind bares for a few years.
Sirius wasn't a vindictive person, but he had to admit, when it came to Wormtail, he might just be able to commit a murder.
Luckily after his name was cleared, 'Moony' Lupin returned.
It was Sirius who had sought contact with his old friend. Well aware of the fact that his friend might turn him down after so many years. But after many owls from his side, his 'friend' finally seemed to see reason. Admitting that it sounded much more plausible, that Peter had been a mole.
Lupin confessed, that all those years he had, had trouble getting his mind around that fact, that Sirius had been the one to betray James.
When in fact those two boys, had been two pees in a pot, according to him.
He had thought though, that after some many years the Map was lost.
They had lost sight of it, when Filch had confiscated it during their last year at Hogwarts.
But here it was, back in the possession of 'Padfoot' one of its makers.
Before his eyes the parchment came to life;
"*Prongs is glad to see his old friend again,
*Moony agrees with Prongs and likes to add that he finds it funny that Padfoot ever becomes a teacher.
*Prongs wonders were things went so horribly wrong in Padfoots life, to become what he hated so much,
*Wormtail agrees with both boys
*Padfoot shakes his head and simply can't believe his eyes."
Sirius couldn't help but smile as the words appeared in front of his eyes.
He had to admit though, if someone would have told his younger self, that one day he would be a teacher, he would have laughed at them.
Not willing to believe, no not wanting to believe.
Yet, he would be lying, if he said that he did not enjoy it now.
He was actually glad he had accepted the job.
Who would have thought so…
Chuckling softly while shaking his head, he spread the Map open on top of his desk. "Now lets see what we've got here" he mumbled to himself, as he leaned over to get a better look of the Map.
He first zoomed in on the Gryffindor tower. After some thorough searching he at least knew one thing… She wasn't at the tower.
Which meant she could be any were.
Complications…Complications, the thought while sighing.
Come on where is she? he thought, feeling slightly annoyed.
Then he checked the most likely road she could be taking to his office.
Figuring that perhaps she was running late, even though something in his bones told him that was not the case.
But he drew a blank yet again.
After that he pretty much searched every bit of the castle.
The tea kettle, resting on his desk, completely forgotten.
That's when he spotted her, heading towards the castle doors.
"Shit!"
She was running!
What in Merlin's name, he thought while slamming his fist down on the desk.
Immediately he was on his feet, reaching for his coat, wand and Map as he ran out the door.
A second later, a lone teacup, hit the ground and broke into many tiny pieces.
But Sirius did not notice, or either did not care, as he cased after her.
Not for the first time, Sirius was glad that his office was located on the second floor, and not on the sixth.
However Black did not intent to use the normal route, which eventually would lead him to the front doors.
It simply would take way too much time.
No, he knew of a shortcut near his chambers.
It so happened he remembered a certain portrait…
The one with the witch in the red dress, whose back he had scratch back when he was still in his teens.
Who knew that years later, he would find himself doing the exact same thing.
The witch shot him a cheeky grin before disappearing.
Thus opening a hidden passageway for him.
One quick glance at the Map told him she was still moving at top speed.
No, actually she already was outside!
Moving away from the entrance fast.
He had to get a move on if he wanted to catch her.
*Escape Plan*
I found myself glancing at my watch, only to find that I had thirty minutes left. It was exactly eight o'clock.
Now was as good a time as any, to put my plan into motion.
I figured whatever happened, happened.
I closed my books, put down my quill and went to take one last toilet break. Slipped into my coat and headed out the door.
All I needed now, was a little bit of luck.
And I would be free from Black and his stupid detention.
* A little fast forward*
HahahaH!
I just couldn't believe my luck, as I found myself making my way through an unfamiliar passage way.
Turns out, the Weasley Twins had spoken the truth about there being a secret way out of Hogwarts.
I had been familiar with the one leading to Honeydukes, but never with the one that brought me directly past the front gates.
It was so practical, I might use it more often.
But never would I tell a soul about it. Well except maybe Kaylee.
For certain secrets were just too good to be shared.
As soon as my head popped up, from below the ground, I felt the fresh air assault my lungs.
Oh how I had missed the outdoors.
Hah, that sounds funny right!
A normal person wouldn't pop up from below the ground, like that.
But as you all might know, anything goes at Hogwarts.
It somehow made me feel like I was Bugs Bunny. A character from a muggle cartoon, I loved watching during my free time.
Bugs Bunny, was in fact a rabbit. Which perhaps might explain the habit of popping up, from out of the ground.
Anyways, I was free!
No detention for me!
Or so I thought….
*At the lake*
I found my usual spot, next to a giant willow.
During the summer time, I always climbed the tree and sat myself down on one of its nice sturdy branches.
It was a great place to read, or reminisce about life, and nobody seemed to notice you were up there.
Which meant nobody came to disturb you.
It felt like heaven to me.
Even Kaylee knew, that it was best to leave me alone during those times.
Only tonight, I didn't climb up, I just sat down at the base of the tree.
Down on the cool soft grass.
But before I did though, I just had to do a little victory dance of my own!
'WOOAaaaww!' 'I GOT OUT OF DETENTION!' 'JIPPPIIEEEEEE!'
My mind was screaming triumphantly.
While at the same time I found myself jumping around like crazy, venting some of my extra energy. If anybody would see me now, they would probably think I'd lost my mind. You know that adrenaline rush you get after doing something you know you shouldn't have done? But you did do it anyway?
Well that was what was bothering me…
And it felt GOOD!
However, when the first taste of euphoria had past, another taste came rolling in with a vengeance.
Its name:
GUILT
Here I was, feeling like nothing could best me, that everything was perfect, and that I could conquer the world, if need be on my own.
And yet somehow, somewhere, the poles had started to shift quite suddenly.
Leaving me, with every fibre of my being screaming;
'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! NO!'
'He'll be SO mad at you. You're going to get expelled!'
"Damned Christine!" I muttered to myself, trying to shake off, the sudden feeling of panic, and at the same time putting a stop to my train of thoughts. If I could have kicked myself in that moment, I would have.
You see, I was a firm believer of self punishment.
Not that it ever helped though, it just made things worse.
It was a habit off mine, I was desperate to quit at times.
Or at least needed to control.
"You chose this option, now you stick with it!" I snapped at myself.
'But..'
My mind countered.
"No buts! You said it yourself, whatever happens…. happens"
I clamped my lips shut, as if physically putting an end to my mental protesting.
Hah! As if that would help!
But at the same time realizing, but all too well, that I was not going to be able to enjoy this moment.
The damage had been done.
ME and my stupid morals!
I sank down to the floor, in a angry fashion.
Planting my ass down, at the bottom of the tree.
The jacket I had brought with me, lay forgotten on the ground, next to me.
It turned out to be, not nearly as cold as I had anticipated. It could have been a pleasant evening to spent outside…
If only I would stop ruining it for myself.
And that would never happen.
Out of no where, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck begin to stand on end.
Realising, quite suddenly, I wasn't alone anymore.
I'm not sure what gave it away though, for there had not been any signs of it.
No sounds of leaves being crunched under foot, no rustling noises.
Nothing touchable at that.
Just a mere feeling, which grew more prominent as time passed.
A nagging sensation…
A shadow suddenly broke away from the tree line, coming at me, at high speed.
The moment I realised what was happening, it was already too late to make a run for it.
He was just a movement, in the corner of my eyes.
A dark silhouette, in a ever darker growing night.
Yet the reaction he caused within me, was enormous.
I still remember thinking, 'no fucking way!'
Even though I didn't know it was Professor Black, at that time.
My gut, simply told me, it was.
In Merlins' name, who else could it be?
No one else knew I was out here, and I was pretty sure nobody had seen me leave, earlier this night.
'So how did he find me anyway?!' I wondered.
It simply was beyond me.
The minute, I registered what was about to go down, I tried my best to get away.
I wasn't sure if I would be able to get away in time though.
He was a grown man, and was probably much faster and stronger than me.
No, honestly my chances didn't look so bright.
Simply giving up, and let myself being caught, would have been the easiest of the two.
Yet, I wasn't sure what he would do afterwards.
I figured he would probably drag me back towards the DADA Classroom, scolding me the entire way.
An outcome, I didn't feel much for…..
There it was again, that distinctive feeling of guilt, slashing through my gut.
Tearing me open from the inside out. If I had simply gone to detention, I could have avoided all of this.
But damned!
How could I have foreseen this happening….
If only I had known.
Would I have acted differently?
For a split second, I remembered Poppy's words, she had spoken to me;
"I think you've found your match in Professor Black"
but I quickly shook my head, dismissing the words altogether.
'That would never happen!' I thought feeling determined.
Damned I had hoped to avoid confrontation! At least for tonight, that is.
I would have figured something out in the morning.
Perhaps Professor Black would have giving up by then.
Just like the other teachers had over time.
Realising, that I didn't want to talk to them.
Didn't want to share my problems!
And now it was simply too late…
Letting myself get caught, wasn't an option.
Leaving me with the only alternative left, which was running!
Like an acrobat I rolled over onto my stomach, drew my knees up under me, and raised myself up to kneeling position.
I felt like an athlete, getting ready to run, as soon as the start sign was given.
When it came, I would be out of there, like a bullet shot out of a gun.
At the same time, the muscles of my calves gotten more taut as I raised my butt a little bit higher off the ground, then the rest of my body.
Angling my body so, that I would be able to push off from a good position.
Making damn sure, no precious time would be wasted.
The whole thing just happened in mere seconds.
If it would have taken me any longer, he would already have been on me.
*BANG* a mental gun got fired, signalling it was time to leave…
'Get out of there girl now!' my mind screamed, just after I had glanced over my shoulder one last time.
He appeared to be, too close for comfort already!
It was either now or never….
But the moment I pushed off, I felt my legs slipping out from under me.
The grip I thought I had, turned out to be non-existent.
Resulting in a spectacular nose dive, sending me crashing to the cold hard ground.
I did however manage, to get a few fists full of grass, before I was wrestled to the ground.
So much for that pity attempt…
"Gotcha!" the rough voice of Professor Black rang through the air, confirming my worst fears.
It was him!
Slowly realisation sank in, and a queasy feeling lodged itself in the pit of my stomach.
The game was up.
At the same time, a pair of strong arms latched itself around my ankles, like a boa constrictor around its prey.
Getting ready to devour it.
I must admit though, the comparison my mind came up with, was pretty disturbing.
Even to me, the one who had thought it up.
The owner to whom the arms belonged to, had a firm grip on my trousers and appeared to certainly have no intention on letting me slip out of his
grasp any time soon. 'Shit!'
"Let go off me!" I snapped.
I trying to wiggle free out of his grasp, feeling almost desperate to do so.
But this only resulted, in my attacker trying to pull himself towards me.
Better said, on top off me.
"You must think me crazy, Miss Frye" My attacker chuckled, sounding somewhat amused.
".…I just caught you…"
I realised that in just a few seconds, I would be trapped underneath him.
That would be devastating, let alone highly uncomfortable!
So improper student and teacher like behaviour.
"…What gives you the idea I'd set you free again?" Using his weight, he held me down,
his hands going for my wrists in the meantime.
Pretty soon he caught them both, and twisted them round behind my back. Pinning them there.
A knee was pushed in the small of my back.
"Oh I don't know…" I answered meaningfully.
"….Perhaps this…."
"AAAHHHHHHHHH" letting out an ear piercing scream.
Black froze up on the spot, hesitating for a moment, I could already feel his grasp slipping from me.
However I failed to use that moment.
Totally missing the momentum to get away from him. 'really?!…'
"Will you shut up girl!"
Placing a hand over my mouth he muffled my cries.
The image of me biting him came to mind, but I quickly dismissed the thought.
As much as I wanted too, I just couldn't stoop so low.
"Merlin girl! I think you managed to make my eardrums bleed."
"I'll make a deal with you though. If you promise not to run and scream again, I'll let you go" he stated.
I couldn't help but roll my eyes at this.
"Do we have a deal?" He questioned me once more.
I found myself nodding my head ever so slightly, sighing somewhat defeated.
I figured, there was nothing else I could do, to escape.
So the only option I had left, was giving up.
The first thing he did was uncover my mouth.
….I refrained from screaming.
The second thing he did was, releasing my arms.
…. Thank God, for they were starting to cramp up.
The third thing he did was, shift most of his body weight.
…. I'm not even gonna comment on that.
The second he lifted his knee, from my back, I pushed off the ground.
Managing to slam the back of my head onto his noise.
OUCH!
Sending Black careening backwards, while holding his noise.
"OMG I'm Sorry"
I sat there looking a little sheepishly.
Good God, was I the cause of this?!
However I couldn't stop smiling as the tables were suddenly reversed.
Professor Black was rolling around on the grass, holding his nose.
Moaning and blinking away the tears in his eyes.
Again', this would be a good moment to escape, yet the sight before me was so comical that I stayed put.
"What was that about!" Black snapped after a minutes.
Clearly most of the pain had subdued by now and he was ready to yell at me again.
To be honest, I had been asking myself the same question…
Why had I reacted the way I had?!
"I just don't like being held" I explained calmly, like it was nothing important.
I remembered during that moment; that it had taken me quite some time, before I had gotten used to Kaylee and receiving her hugs.
And Kaylee could become quite clingy.
Especially with a few glasses of Firewhiskey in her system.
A thing, that at the time, thoroughly surprised me.
For she seemed to be such a standoffish person, at first glance.
When you would have asked me years ago, why I reacted the way I did, I wouldn't have been able to answer you.
I just didn't know any better.
Years later however, I would realise, that this was a result of the fact that, in my family, love just was not shown in an affectionate manner.
Not even between my parents.
"What are you doing out here anyway?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
I didn't want to discuss things any further.
Luckily for me, Black complied and got onto his feet, drawing himself up to full height, brushing some of the dirt off at the same time.
"I could ask you the same question!" Black countered a few seconds later, after assessing that his nose was still in one piece.
"I was hiding from you!" I simply stated, causing him to look at me funny.
Black cocked an eyebrow at me.
Clearly, he was surprised by my honestly.
I realised in that moment, he probably thought I would have lied about the obvious.
But I figured, why should I.
He was smart enough to do the math for himself.
So me denying things wouldn't help.
"What's it too you…?!"
"Believe it or not, I was looking for you" Black countered.
His answer caused me to frown, yet somehow that did not surprise me in the least.
It did however cause me to wonder how he had accomplished such a thing.
From my point of view, that should have been virtually impossible.
Resulting in only one explanation, Black was a force to the reckoned with.
"Well you found me. Now get lost!"
I snapped while crossing my arms and turning my back on him.
Not for the first time that night, I wondered why I had done, what I had done.
But if I was honest to myself, I knew the answer to that question.
I had not been in the mood, to go and see Professor Black.
To start with, he would only ask me questions about my 'wand problem'
Then there was the fact that, I did not want him, to point out to me, that it was in fact a serious problem.
(I knew that, but did my best to make myself forget…)
And most importantly, I did not want for him, to promise me, that he was going to help me solve it.
In the end, he would only get my hopes up, get me to believe again.
And when he realised that nothing could be done about it, he would start to ignore me. Pretending that the problem did not exist.
That I, did not exist…
I had seen it happen time and time again.
People turning away from me, when they realised that there was no glory to be gained, in not being able to solve an important problem.
So they just pretended they had not been involved with me, in the first place.
Like McGonagall and Dumbledore for instance.
They might not seem like that kind of person to you, but trust me, they are.
Things like that hurt though, cut me deep.
When I realised that, that was all I had meant to them.
It left a deep invisible scar within me.
One that would probably heal over time, but never quite gotten the chance to do so…
As some people managed to trick me, time and time again.
Getting me to believe in them.
Was I that naive, or just hopeful?
I hoped, it was the latter.
Until I found a trick that actually worked, that kept 'those kind of people' at bay.
My anger, had become an impenetrable armour.
Shunning away anyone with bad intensions.
But also sometimes, keeping others, who in fact meant well, out…
"You would like that, now would you?! " Black challenged, pulling me out of my reminiscing.
I had to blink a couple of times, before I realised what was actually going down…
Dear Lord, was he meeting my challenge?
The mere thought, threw me off balance. For most of the time, people would simply disappear after an outburst like that.
Yet here he was, standing his ground, against me.
This was not going as I expected it would…
Houston we have a problem!
Fine, if he wanted to play this game, so would I.
"As a matter of fact yes. Yes I do!" I snapped, angling my body so, that I had a clear view of his profile.
It had gotten so dark now, that I couldn't see his face anymore.
"What make you think I would want to see the likes of you?" I snapped.
I feared that; he had gotten the idea, of being my own personal saviour, in his tick head.
If that was indeed to be the case, I would have to make him forget about it, as soon as possible.
Before the idea would get stuck in his head, and had become one of his personal mantras.
That realisation alone, was enough to make me feel helpless.
Resulting in me landing a cheap shot…
"If it had been up to me, you'd still be in Azkaban!"
But hey, it was the only power I processed to stop him, from even trying in the first place. To protect myself from other failure…
From getting hurt…
The dark silhouette, in front of me, seemed to shrink significantly after that. Clearly my words had hit their mark.
Somehow I had managed to find one of his weak spots, and caused quite a lot of internal damage…
I watched as he turned from me, rather abruptly.
It felt like he was telling me, I had crossed an invisible line, and he was not having any of it.
Any sane person, would have threatened me with a whole week of detention, served with Filch.
Yet Black said nothing.
…Absolutely nothing…
…Which was even worse….
To say, I felt like, he was disappointed with me, was an understatement.
It felt like he was giving up on me all together.
It felt like, if I would let him walk away now, we would never get past our differences.
Our whole relationship would be plain awkward, for the rest of the school year.
With me sitting in the back of class, constantly feeling on edge.
And him, at the front of the room, doing his best to avoid dealing with me.
Honestly, it was exactly, what I wanted.
Yet, why did it make me feel like crap, on the inside?!
Somehow, I could not let that happen.
An overwhelming feeling, suddenly came over me.
I could not let him leave, not like this. Not when he was openly suffering, over something I had caused.
I maybe a bitch from time to time, but that does not mean I don't have a conscience.
One, that was giving me quite a lot of grieve, at the moment!
'Oh for heavens sake woman, swallow your pride and do something!'
I thought almost frantically, as I noticed he was already on the retreat.
Pretty soon I would be all alone…
Luckily, as soon at the words came to mind, I found my body automatically acting on it.
I found myself taking a step forward, grabbing hold of his garments.
Realising, that if he left now, this would never be resolved.
Nope, definitely no pressure here!
The sudden touch, caused Professor Black to stop in his tracks, and angle his head so,
that he was just about to see me, from out the corner of his eyes.
I still wonder what it was, he saw that night…
"Don't go… please…" the words barely a whisper, as they left my lips.
At first, I wasn't even sure if he had heard me utter them.
But the fact that he was still here, made me hopeful.
Hopeful enough that I dared to press on…
"…That was terribly inconsiderate of me"
Only now, I realised how heavy my heart felt inside my chest. Just looking at him, from this proximity, caused my stomach to turn into a knot.
"Azkaban, isn't a place to joke about…" my voice trailing off at the end.
For a moment there was nothing but silence between us, we just looked each other in the eye.
"I admit it was a cheap shot."
"Can you forgive me?"
I found him staring at me, dumbfounded.
His gaze constantly shifting between me, and the hand that was still holding onto his jacket.
WAIT A MINUTE!
Holding on to him?! I thought in horror.
OMG, What must he think of me!
In sheer blind panic I dropped his jacket, and stumbled while taking a few steps back.
Getting some distance between the two of us, seemed important suddenly.
If he noticed my weird reaction, he didn't comment on it.
He did however, reach out and steady me, preventing me from falling.
I felt a flicker of hope, as he fully turned towards me, facing me once more.
Staring down at me, for a few seconds, he was clearly assessing my honesty.
"I think I can manage doing that Miss Frye" The deep timber of Professor Black, his voice, bringing me some respite.
It was then, that I felt a small smile break through on my face. Hopeful, that's how I felt.
However…
"Guess we will just have to add another hour to your detention."
….And gone was my smile…
Seriously! I thought.
I noticed how Black, couldn't help but smile, at the sight of my fallen face.
Of course! I thought, while feeling annoyed. Now you are having fun!
"No, honestly I deserved that somewhat." Black confessed to my surprise.
"I scared you I shouldn't have. I'm your teacher. I should be someone you can trust"
Once again facing me. "…You can, you know"
I didn't know how to respond to this though.
And when I didn't.
Black simply continued….
"I guess we kind of started off on the wrong foot, didn't we?" he sounded so sincere in that moment,
that I found myself nodding automatically, suddenly finding it hard to meet his eyes.
I hated admitting I had done something wrong. Even though I knew the reason, why I had reacted the way I had.
It was unforgivable, I had hurt someone thanks to it. Especially someone, who did not understand.
I wanted for Black to hate me, but he did not deserve to be treated this way.
Which made it damn hard to be a total asshole to him.
"I'm Sirius Black, your trustworthy Hogwarts DADA Professor " He introduced himself, while offering his hand to me.
His description on himself alone, was enough to make me laugh.
I couldn't help but eye his hand warily, for a moment, before taking it.
"Christine Frye. 'Chris' for my friends. Honest to a fault, stubborn with a vengeances."
That last part made Sirius chuckle.
I shot him an challenging look.
"You don't say… I had not noticed yet." Black chuckled.
"This doesn't mean I will go easy on you, from now on." I added quickly.
Not wanting him to think I was surrendering to him.
He wasn't my friend.
And I certainly was not his!
"Good, I don't want you too" he countered while sporting a smirk.
Something told me that he meant what he had said.
Call it intuition.
I concluded that Black was an interesting guy.
"You know you kind of surprised me there, not showing up and all" he added while shooting me a sideways glance.
His honest words made me cringe, as I felt his gaze linger on me for a tad to long for comfort.
"Yet now I see where you were going, I totally understand." he continued, all the while ignoring my stupid looks and looking at his surroundings.
"I just love these grounds during the summer time, especially during the day time, I used to come here a lot with my friends, during one of those free periods." Sirius elaborated.
"Your friends?" I questioned him out loud.
Somehow I found it hard for me to picture him in his teen years.
I mean he was hard to grasp as it was, in the present state.
Not that I was remotely interested!
But I figured that, if I could keep him talking, that might mean he would forget about the real reason, why he was here in the first place.
He looked at me in that moment.
With a look, that made him seem much older somehow.
So much emotion was swirling in the depths of his eyes, that it caught me off guard.
I didn't say anything about it though, not willing to dispel the mood he was in.
Suddenly feeling eager, for him to share some of his past with me.
I wanted to know what had brought on, this sudden change.
He held my gaze for some time, without speaking.
And only when I tore my gaze away from him, did he speak.
"We were quite the foursome/quartet, back in the days. Always causing mischief. Especially James and Me, we were the ringleaders. The Marauders, we called ourselves.… Always up to no good." I noticed that he sounded quite proud about that.
The thought of Black being a troublemaker made me laugh.
Black was staring out into the distance, like he was seeing something I could not.
"All four of us were Gryffindors. Merlin, how I miss those times, running around carefree with my mates." He sighted loudly.
Shoving his hands in his pockets. He looked lonely somehow. I don't know why I did what I did after that.
I guess it just felt right.
I slowly walked up behind him, and placed a hand against the back of his shoulder.
For a moment his eyes met mine, before looking away again at something in the distance.
"Then of course, there was Remus, who later on even became a Prefect.
He would always, be the one, to get us out of trouble. And Peter of course, always following us around. I miss them…"
I miss them…? I found myself wondering. Had they gone somewhere?
He did not elaborate on the subject though. And I, Didn't have the heart to ask him. I just watched him for a moment, as he stood there, lost in thoughts. It was like he had forgotten I was there.
Then, as quick as it had started, he turned away from me, once again making for the castle.
"I want to see you Friday!"
My heart sank… and here I was, hoping he would let me off the hook.
"I happened to get a hold of your time table, and apparently, you are free after your fifth period. It so happens that, so am I"
"If you're not there I will come and get you personally."
"And I will…find you" he threatened.
Somehow I didn't question his threat.
I did not question it.
He had done so today… So why not tomorrow?
"Black…" I called after him.
Causing him to stop in his tracks.
He angled his body so that he was facing me, an eyebrow raised in wonder.
"You've got to tell me something. How did you find me today?"
A smile broke across his face the way the sunrise sets the clouds on fire.
Leaving me stunned.
DAMN
That should be forbidden!
"A true wizard never reveals his secret"
"Stalker!"
To Be Continued…