CHAPTER SIX - IT BEGINS

Jack opened his mouth, and shoved a rice-ball inside whole.

"Huh?" he looked around, confused. How did he end up in this place? The single room house had a homey feel about it, with wooden floorboards, and walls. All it contained was a bed, table, television, bookcase and large, treasure chest shaped box. Jack cast his eyes towards the window. He saw a rather malodorous looking excuse for a piece of what he thought was probably some kind of farmland sprawling endlessly into the horizon. It was then that he realized that he was home. Sighing, he walked out of the simple wooden front door.

"Oh Jack! What are you doing here?" The mayor's insistent and ultimately repulsive face beamed up at Jack.

"This is my house. I live here." The farmer attempted to walk around the mayor, but the blob rolled into a defensive position blocking his way.

"So, I was wondering, you need any help? Because I can help you in any way you need… and I mean ANY way…" the Mayor winked suggestively. Jack grimaced in pure disgust.

"Look, just… get away from me, you're making me physically ill." The mayor did not look like he had any intention of giving up.

"But, Jacky… I thought we had something!" the mayor looked up at his apparent love interest with sulky eyes. Jack's eyes widened with horror.

"Look, get the hell off my property before I call the police." Thomas chuckled a little.

"Oh, I think you'll find that I know the police officer in this town quite well… quite well indeed." The man scratched his head.

"We play chess on Friday nights, it's pretty fun." His blue eyes looked greedily into the young farmer's messy brown pair (of eyes, don't get the wrong idea). Just as Jack thought his innocence was about to be stolen by a retarded man wearing a red pimp hat, a muscle bound man charged his way into the farm.

"Is this man giving you trouble, little girl?" Jack was unsure whether he should feel relieved or insulted.

"Yes, yes he is." The burly man picked up the bouncy little man and threw him as if he were a basketball what seemed to be over 4 lengths of the farm. Jack looked from where the mayor had a few seconds ago been hurled into the sky to the astronomical being before him.

"Are you Chuck Norris?" the thing looked at him questioningly.

"No, I'm Zack, the shipper dude. And that," the man pointed to a standard wooden box shaped thing, "is the shipping box. Put stuff in there if you want to sell it. I come 5 pm every day except holidays. I need a break too you knowAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jack wondered whether or not Zack had an axe.

"HA…ahaha… ooh, good one Zacky boy." Jack wondered who the hell he was talking to.

"Anyway, is there anything else you need?" Jack opened his mouth to ask whether or not Zack was entirely sane when a flash of dirty blonde, purple and denim caught his eye. He stared as the attractive girl walked up to him, her hair swishing ferociously behind her narrowed emerald eyes, cheeks flushed pink. She looked s cute when she was…

"WHO THE FUCK THREW AN OVERSIZED FAT UGLY DWARF THROUGH MY ROOF?!?!" Jack glanced at Zack. He looked absolutely mortified.

"Err, uh Karen, take it easy, I-I-I didn't mean it, I was aiming for the postbox! Oh Goddess, I swear I was aiming for the… AAAAEEERGH!" Jack looked away in fear as he heard an awful crunching sound coming from Zack's spine. He felt Karen's eyes shift towards him.

"Oh, it's you… you little…" she made a jump for him, but he was already sprinting halfway down the farm.

A/N: Cough…