Disclaimer : One Piece belongs to Oda Eiichirō. Sanity's a slippery slope.
Rating : K

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Message on a bottle

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His head hurt like hell.

Zoro screwed his eyes open. Thankfully the light was very dim. Anything bright and his head might explode. Like Sanji's.

Wait. Splitting head ache. Sensitivity to light...

Zoro sat bolt upright, banged his head and fell down again. His stomach turned.

'Take it easy, Sleeping Marimo. You smash a hole through the hull, we'll sink like a stone.'

'What...What happened?'

'You know with all the boozing you do, I never would have thought one lick could knock you out.'

Zoro looked up at Sanji's head sticking out above a chair with a familiar outline.

'A lick?'

'Yeah. There were a few drops left in the bottle. You licked them. Wanted to know what the rum tasted like?'

'Tasted like...' Zoro repeated dumbly. He swallowed against a bout of nausea and made his way forward from the back where Sanji had dumped him. A few drops? No, it couldn't be. It would take more than that. But Sanji wouldn't lie, and the bottle had been empty. Save for those few drops. But no way that could do him over like this.

Zoro sat down heavily in the seat next to Sanji. The cook risked a sideways look. What he saw made him cringe.

'If you're gonna throw up, do it outside.'

Zoro snarled. 'We're in the submarine!'

Submerged deep for that matter, the water was so dark it was almost black. All colors were dim and subdued, the edges faded.

'Don't let that stop you,' Sanji said. Zoro sank back against the chair and rubbed his forehead. Even his hair hurt.

'How...how did we get here? Where's the Sunny?'

'You mean you don't remember?' Sanji asked mockingly.

'If I did I wouldn't ask.'

'Hm. Memory loss after a hangover. Does that happen?'

Sanji apparently had no problem provoking people in small spaces.

'Just tell me.'

'Well, we took another look at the bottle, didn't find anything aside from that dumb treasure map...'

'I remember that much.'

'We sailed back to the island...'

'I've forgotten hours, not days!'

'...arrived this morning at the skerry where we docked the first time we came here...'

Right. After being fired upon from the harbor by cannons mounted on the walls of a cliffside fortress, they had come to the conclusion that no, pirates were not welcome there. Rather than shoot back and beat everyone up - Luffy's eager suggestion, hunger having nibbled at his control – they had sailed back a bit, hidden the Sunny behind the skerry and set out on the Mini Merry. Zoro, Sanji and Robin, off on their little adventure after having drawn the short end of the stick.

'That's when you decided to lick the bottle,' Sanji went on. 'After you fainted-'

'I do not faint!' Zoro spat. He squeezed his eyes shut and clutched his head. Even so, if he felt like this after only a few drops, Sanji must have gone through hell. Maybe Zoro shouldn't have been so harsh to him.

'After you fell to the ground in a really manly way...'

No, he should have been harsher.

'...I dragged your sorry ass into the sub.'

'Why not take the Merry?'

Sanji stared at him unblinkingly. 'It has a pink umbrella on it.'

The sub careened wildly, shooting headlong through a pod of fish who scattered in terror. After the dust settled and they were once again sitting straight in their chairs, Sanji nursing a big lump on his head, Zoro felt more sick and better at the same time.

The sub slowly rose, the water becoming gradually lighter. Zoro looked through the forward window at the sunrays penetrating the surface of the water. Sanji aimed for the shimmering light above.

'Hurts, doesn't it?' he asked when they surfaced and daylight hit the sub.

Zoro shielded his eyes. 'Shut up.'

The sub washed ashore on a sandy beach. It was small but went deeply land inwards, with a lush rain forest lining the edge.

'If I remember right, it's a short hike through some plantations to the village,' Sanji said as they climbed out. 'Give me a hand here. If you can stay on your feet.'

'Shut the hell up!'

They put their shoulders behind the sub and pushed it to the trees. Zoro sliced some branches off large ferns and arranged them across the sub while Sanji scoured the tree line looking for a path.

The cook looked over at Zoro when he was done with the sub. 'Oh, well done.' Sanji gave it a double thumbs up. 'Nice flower arrangement.'

'They're leaves!'

Sanji turned back to the trees. 'Ah shoot. I can't find it.'

Zoro walked towards him. 'Can't find what?'

'The path you cut us when we were last here. I was sure it was around here somewhere.'

'Doesn't matter.' Zoro drew Wadō and Shūsui. 'Nitōryū. Sai Kuru!'

He plunged into the foliage. Trees, leaves, roots went flying in the air, chopped into little pieces. Sanji followed, muttering something about pruning shrubs. Then he was slicing air. A large dirt road lined the forest. Across from it was a large plantation. Zoro sheathed his swords.

'We went this way last time too.' Sanji recalled. 'This road goes all the way to the village.'

'All right.'

Zoro bumped into Sanji's outstretched leg.

'What?'

The curlicue eyebrow twitched. Right.

'Robin-chan said this species of sugarcane only grows on this island,' he said as they went the opposite way. It was almost noon and Zoro was getting hungry, but his hang-over was getting better. The weather was great and the fields swayed in a weak breeze. His head was slowly clearing. 'That's what gives the rum its unique flavor.'

They didn't speak after that, just walked in silence while the sun crawled towards its zenith. Zoro let the world impress itself on his senses. The soft light of the noon sky, the sun obscured partly by a cloud. The hard dirt beneath his feet and the smell of Sanji's cigarettes mixed with sweet sugarcane.

By the time they reached the outskirts of the village, his hangover was gone completely and he felt utterly relaxed.

The road eventually passed by a large brick building with the name Alba Libre painted on the wall in huge off white letters.

'Hey, Alba Libre. Isn't that the name of the...'

'Rum, yeah,' Sanji finished. 'This is probably the main sugarcane plant.'

A sleeping old man in farmer's overalls sat on a cot against the wall, a shock of frizzy white hair emerging from under a large reed hat. A gnarled walking stick stood next to him.

Sanji approached him. 'Excuse me, grandpa.'

The hat lifted to reveal a wrinkled face.

'Grandma, if you don't mind.'

'Eh...S-sorry,' Sanji stuttered. 'We're trying to find the islands on this map. Can you tell us anything?'

'Let me see that.' The old woman looked at the bottle, then back up at them with a toothless smile. 'You like our island rum, do you?'

'It's...very strong.'

'I'll say! Careful for El Dorado though.'

'El Dorado?' Sanji asked.

'That's what we call the bottom layer of our rum. It has a few drops of our special mixture. Can't tell you the recipe or I'd have to kill you,' she said seriously, then snickered and broke into a hacking fit. 'Packs a killer punch. Only the bravest drink that. Even a drop would floor a couple of dumplings like you.'

That explained it. Good. He'd not be outdone by anyone at drinking. It was one of his favorite pastimes after all.

'Line your stomach,' the old lady nodded sagely. 'Always line your stomach.'

'About this map?' Sanji tried again.

'What map?' she asked.

'On the bottle.'

'Let me see. Hey, that's our rum.'

Zoro put a hand on a shaking shoulder and took over. 'Can you tell us anything about this map?'

'We don't have maps on our bottles.'

'There's one on this one.'

'No, no.'

'You said it was your rum.'

She shooed him away. 'Don't talk nonsense! The only Alba Libre rum that ever had maps on the bottle was brewed by Black Calico, but that was over a hundred years ago and he only made about twenty of 'em that he gave to his mates. I know, my daddy was his best friend. Calico gave him the last bottle, and my daddy gave it to me for my eightieth birthday, bless him.'

Sanji and Zoro exchanged a look. Durable old coot, that daddy.

'Black Calico,' the old woman mused with a reminiscing smile. 'Best rum maker there ever was.'

'Well they're not all gone,' Zoro said quickly before she got lost in memory lane. 'We have one.'

'One what?'

'One bottle of rum.'

'You have rum?'

Sandai Kitetsu seemed to jump out of its scabbard of its own will, catching a glint of sunlight in a murderous reflection. But Sanji pushed down Zoro's hand and stopped him from terrorizing harmless senile old ladies.

Too late. The woman recoiled, eyes going wide.

'Bl-Black Calico's map!'

She clutched at her chest and collapsed. Sanji and Zoro stared at the sagging reed hat, jaws hitting the ground.

'Look what you did!' Sanji yelled. 'You killed her!' He squatted in front of the woman and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her gently. 'Oi. Oi, granny! Can you hear me? Granny?'

'I didn't...I didn't kill her!' Zoro protested. No way. This couldn't be happening, not again.

'Stop pulling your shitty swords on old people, marimo monster!'

Wait, not again? Who else...He remembered someone. Yes. There was an old man...and goats? Why were there goats?

'She dead?' Zoro asked anxiously. Sanji stood up slowly, shoulders hunched. He suddenly spun. Zoro saw something black whiz towards his head but he was caught off guard and didn't have time to dodge.

'She's SNORING!'

Zoro picked himself up off the ground. After his headache had just gone away, too!

'One of these days, you're really going to kill someone!' Sanji bellowed.

'Yeah and guess who it's going to be!'

'Bring it!'

The fight lasted until a walking stick whacked them over the head.

'Too noisy!' the old woman yelled, getting a few extra hits in just for good measure. 'Kids nowadays. No respect for their elders.'

Sanji and Zoro got up and bowed. 'We're sorry.'

'That's better. Now get out of here so I can sleep.'

'Hai.'

They continued to walk to the village.

'At least we know something more.' Sanji held the bottle to sunlight. 'This is Black Calico's map. A rum maker.'

'But does this have anything to do with the others? If we're just on a wild goose chase here...'

'It's the only lead we have.' Sanji pointed to the islands on the treasure map. 'If nothing turns up there, we'll just sail all the islands nearby till we find them. They can't have just disappeared.'

Zoro didn't speak. Sanji knew as well as he did the stories of ships and crew disappearing on the Grand Line without a trace. But they hadn't had the likes of Zoro and Sanji chasing after them. If their nakama were alive somewhere, they would find them.

They had to. The alternative was unthinkable.

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They walked into the village, up a wide cobbled road leading under an arch.

'All right, so where is this shop'? Zoro asked.

'I don't know.'

'What do you mean you don't know? You were with Robin when she bought the bottle, weren't you?'

'Yes but I...'

'But you what?'

'I wasn't really paying attention.'

'Start paying attention then, ero-cook!'

A plump woman passing them nearly dropped her fruit basket at Zoro's outburst.

'Sorry,' Sanji apologized.

Zoro pointed to the bottle. 'My comrade bought this rum here in the village a few days ago. Can you tell me who sells it?'

Aside from startled, she now also looked offended at being addressed so brusquely, but when she saw the bottle she forgot all about it.

'Oh, that's Black Calico's rum! My, my, I haven't seen one of those bottles in thirty years, not since Granny Shaol drank the last one. Where on earth did you find this?'

Granny Shaol...That old head banger at the sugarcane plant? And that was thirty years ago? That meant she was over a hundred!

'Like I said, my comrade bought it here recently.'

She huffed and shook her head as if Zoro had just said something ridiculous.

'That's very hard to believe.' She gave them a derisive look, as if she were dealing with a pair of lying kids. 'You're obviously not from around here and I can't imagine anyone from the village selling our most sacred rum to outsiders.'

'Someone did,' Zoro said. The thought obviously upset her and he had no particular desire to offend her further, but they didn't have time to cater to sensitivities. They had their nakama to find. 'So who sells it?'

'What my friend means is that the rum was so incredibly good we'd like some more,' Sanji said in placating tones after shooting Zoro a reproachful look.

'Well you won't find it here anymore. I've told you, the last bottle was drunk over thirty years ago.'

'Then how about we buy the most exquisite rum the island has now? I'm sure that way we won't be disappointed.'

Sanji swooned over her as if she was one of his dream beauties. Unlike on them, it worked on the woman like a charm. Despite the fact she had to weigh as much as Zoro and Sanji together, she floated out of the street as light as feather.

Sanji lit up a cigarette. 'So, two places you can buy booze in town. One is called Sweetwater's, the other Rails' Liquors.'

'I can't believe you did that.'

'We'll split up, you take Sweetwater's, I'll take Rails', meet back here, ok?'

'I bet that cost you.'

'At the sign of the...' Sanji looked up at the wooden board suspended next to the entrance of a restaurant a few houses down the street. '...the Prancing Parrot.'

'You did look at her, did you?'

Sanji tilted his head back and blew smoke straight up in the air, then finally acknowledged him with a serious look.

'I saw a lady who could help us. Now...' Sanji pointed at the sign. Indeed there was a parrot painted on it, prancing about with one wing up in the air. 'Meet back here.'

'All right.'

'Don't get lost too badly. We don't have the time.'

'Worry about yourself. One beauty bats her eye at you and you're done for.'

That had sounded a lot more insulting in his head. Sanji smiled broadly around his cigarette.

'You bet! I'm love's slave, marimo-kun.'

'You don't have to be proud of it,' Zoro muttered.

Sanji threw his arms up in the air and spun down the street.

'Robin-chan, Nami-swaaan, hang on! We're coming to find yooouuuu!'

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Going to Sweetwater's turned up nothing. In fact, the shopkeeper treated him worse than that woman. Apparently an outsider having this rum really was a huge offence to them.

Up to Sanji then.

Zoro had bigger problems anyway. Like figuring out where he was.

At least he had gotten lost in a nice place. A large well-kept park with lush trees and shrubs and wildflowers lining winding gravel paths. He picked one and started following it towards the sun. He passed lots of families with their children. Nice day for it. The weather was great. Yet not everyone was happy. Like that woman standing under a tree a couple of yards away. She seemed nervous, glancing around as if she was looking for someone. Ah well. Not his problem. If she needed help, she was capable of asking.

'Hey!' she called out. She'd caught sight of him and waved. 'You there.'

Of course she didn't have to ask him.

She hurried over to him. She was very pretty. Reminded him of Vivi, except for the darker skin, setting off against long, wavy magenta hair tumbling down her back. She wore a dress and high heel boots laced up to the knee.

That idiot cook would be dancing around her right away. Good thing he wasn't here.

'I'm lost. Could you show me the way out?'

Good thing none of them were here or they would have laughed themselves silly at someone asking Zoro of all people for directions.

'I'm on my way out too,' he replied truthfully. He just didn't know how long it would take.

'Thanks. I'm Elaine.'

'I'm Zoro.'

They followed the winding road in silence. She was on the lookout for someone, he could tell from the undefinable tension in her frame, the way she scanned their surroundings every now and then and the strap of her purse she kept in a tight grip. Zoro didn't ask. He preferred uncomfortable silences to idle conversation. If someone was after her, they would show themselves soon enough, upon which he'd just kick their butts.

'Look,' Elaine said after a while. She pointed at a wooden bench alongside a road forking off the one they were walking on. A small bird chirped on a branch overhead.

'I passed that bench earlier. I think that road leads out of the park.'

'All right.'

They turned right. The road made a few turns before passing under a rocky arch. Elaine stopped when they were under its shadow.

'Naretine's Arch, where the mayor's daughter confessed to the farmer's son.' She looked up at Zoro. 'I have a confession to make too.'

Zoro's throat went dry. 'We...we only just met...' he mumbled.

She laughed. 'No, silly. Not that kind of confession.'

'Huh?'

'I know who you are, former pirate hunter Rorona Zoro.' She touched Zoro's shoulder. 'You're strong and that's exactly what I need right now. Jō-dan Switch!'

The world whited out. Zoro had learned to anticipate the most bizarre attacks, and his instincts told him one was coming. His hand dropped to Wadō. He had drawn his swords millions of times, he could find them instinctively, didn't need sight for them. His hand knew where to go, fingers rounding to grab the hilt. But Wadō wasn't there. None of his swords were. Zoro opened his eyes just as the light faded. He needed a couple of blinks for his vision to clear, but even before he could see he knew that aside from his swords being gone, there was something else horribly wrong.

His eyes went saucer-sized when he saw the fingers he was moving. They weren't his. They were smaller and slender, just like the hip they touched. The hip curving under a dress. High heel boots. No haramaki, no swords. And his chest…

Zoro's thoughts came to a screeching halt. Everything came to a screeching halt. His body wasn't his own anymore. It was Elaine's! Zoro's eyes snapped up to where she stood. He stared, mind blank with shock, at himself a few feet away, with his hands on his hips and wearing a smile that wasn't his.

'Surprise! I'm a devil-fruit user.'

Switch...Body switch...

'There you are! You got lost again, didn't you?'

Zoro looked dazed at Sanji running towards them from the other side of the arch. He was headed in Zoro's direction - or who he believed to be Zoro - but when he caught sight of the actual Zoro swapped with Elaine's body, he almost stumbled and came to a clumsy halt.

'Who is this beautiful lady!' he crowed, knitting his fingers together next to his face.

'Don't know,' Elaine replied. 'She was asking me for directions.'

Sanji burst out laughing. 'Asking you for directions?'

He must have started looking for Zoro and true to form, picked both the best and the worst time to find him. Zoro stared at the confused look Elaine gave Sanji. She caught on quickly though, giving Sanji a smile that didn't belong on Zoro's face.

'Hey, why don't you help her out?'

'My pleasure!' Sanji beamed, spinning towards Zoro and completely forgetting Elaine who turned and ran off with his body.

She was getting away! With his body, his swords...his pride!

Zoro snapped out of it. 'Stop her!' he yelled. Hearing himself speak with her voice was beyond weird.

Sanji's twirl came to halt, his smile a little unsure. 'Her?'

'Stop her! Stop her, dammit!' Zoro swore, running past the idiot cook. He forgot about the heels though.

He got a few meters in when something snapped under his left foot and he lost his balance, flying forward. He was going down. Oh yeah. Sanji was behind him, no way he could react fast enough to catch him. Zoro would rather break his nose on the ground than be caught by him anyway.

Instead he broke it on Sanji's collarbone - at least it felt like he did. Somehow Sanji had managed to get in front of him to catch him. He should have known Sanji would do the impossible just for the chance of copping a feel. Because this was Zoro though, he got a little extra pain, free of charge. Zoro's forehead banged into his face and they toppled back, Zoro landing bodily on top of him.

He touched his nose. He had a nosebleed.

Sanji's hands, disgustingly gentle, moved to help him up but Zoro batted them away and crawled off him. He started to untie the boots, but it took too long so he began ripping the laces out with his teeth.

'I-I can help you with those,' Sanji offered, hovering somewhere between mellorine and fear.

'Get that boot off me!' Zoro ordered.

'Right away!'

Sanji knelt down in front of Zoro and started on the boot. The shoelace simply seemed to fly off.

'That part of the ero-ero package, pervert cook? Undress a woman in under ten seconds?'

Sanji's hands jerked away from the boot as if it was on fire. He stared at Zoro with huge dumbstruck eyes. Zoro didn't have time to enjoy it though. He yanked off the boots and threw them away, jumping to his feet and running like hell.

'Hey! Wait!' Sanji yelled behind him. 'What are you running after him for? I'll help you!'

Dammit, Elaine's body wasn't in shape. By the time he rounded a bend in the road, she was already at the next one. It was hopeless, he had no chance of catching her. But Sanji had. That cook could run anyone down with those long legs of his.

Zoro stopped, not needing to pretend to catch his breath. He could try to tell Sanji right now what was going on, but that would just be a waste of breath, the idiot was in full adoration mode and Zoro didn't have time to figure out how to snap him out of it - if it could be done at all. Threaten him, insult him, beat him up, maim him, and he would just come back for more, all lovey-eyed. Short of killing him, there was no way to stop the perversion. What he had to do was use it.

'That man was mean to me,' he said, loathing the sound of his own voice.

'What?' Sanji yelled.

'I asked him for directions and he was so short with me.'

Sanji clenched his fist, eyes blazing. 'That bastard! I'll kick his ass!'

'No, you don't have to do that,' Zoro said quickly, though if he couldn't beat his body up to get Elaine to switch them back, Sanji'd have to. 'But I think he should apologize to me. Don't you?'

Zoro had never tried to look seductive at anyone before, but he must not be so bad at it because Sanji agreed with a vigorous nod.

'But I can't catch up to him. Look how fast he is. If only I had a knight to carry me there...'

Zoro nearly gagged. Woman or not, he was going to beat her to a pulp for putting him through this.

'It's me!' Sanji gushed and swept him off his feet. Zoro squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to look at Sanji. He didn't want to think about how this looked.

'Hey, you bastard!' Sanji yelled when they caught up. He jumped. Zoro opened his eyes and looked down. He saw the outline of Sanji's black shoe and behind it his own terrified face.

'What's with him?' Sanji muttered, right before he hit Elaine square in the face. She flew down the road and crashed into a bush.

Sanji put Zoro down gently and walked over to her. 'Apologize to the lady, bastard, or I'll kick your ass.'

If Sanji knew he just kicked a lady in the face, he would be horrified. Elaine popped out of the foliage, clutching a bleeding nose. The sight was too bizarre.

'Oi, I'm talking to you. What's the matter with you?'

Elaine started when she looked past Sanji and saw the murderous look on her own face. Zoro stomped towards her. 'Put your hand on my shoulder,' he said with a deadly flatness. Sanji half turned to look at him. Though he didn't ask, he was understandably surprised at the strange request, not to mention the sudden change in tone. Zoro thought quickly. 'It's how we apologize here on the island.'

'Ah, I see,' Sanji smiled, buying it completely. Prince of idiots!

Sanji turned back to Elaine. 'You heard the lady, do it.'

She shook her head. Despite the fact she was obviously trembling in, well, Zoro's boots, she showed guts. 'No. Why should I? I haven't done anything wrong.'

'You were rude to her.'

'I was not.'

'Were too.'

'Was not.'

'Were t-'

'Give me my body back, woman!' Zoro snarled furiously. Sanji's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. 'What are you talking about, sweet lady?' he asked.

'I'm not your sweet lady and that is not me!'

'Of course it's not you,' Sanji said adoringly. 'It's just ugly marimo-head.'

Zoro launched himself at Elaine. 'Give it back!'

'Stop it!' Sanji's arm snaked around Zoro's waist and pulled him back just short of her. 'You'll hurt yourself!'

'Let go of me, dartboard brow!'

Sanji did, shocked into immobility. He stared at him as if Zoro just sprouted horns and a tail.

'Wha-'

'I'm Zoro! I'm in her body, and she's in mine!'

'What?'

'She's a devil-fruit user! She switched our bodies!' Zoro threw himself at Elaine again, only to be pulled back once more. 'Let go of me!' he yelled, struggling fiercely. It didn't help, Sanji held on effortlessly, and somehow managed to adjust his grip to Zoro's movements so he wouldn't hurt him.

'Calm down!' Sanji yelped helplessly. He had probably never been in a situation like this with a woman before.

'Let go of me!' Zoro shouted, but it sounded high and not at all menacing. 'She has to switch us back!'

'What is going on with her?' Sanji demanded.

'I don't know!' Elaine giggled. 'She's so funny!'

That was a mistake. Zoro, to this day, had never giggled. It sounded as unbelievable to his ears as it did to Sanji's. He froze. So did Elaine, realizing her mistake. Time to act! Zoro banged his head back into Sanji's - no time to wait for him to let go - then with a leap forward, kneed his own body in the groin.

Elaine collapsed on her knees, howling in pain. She had only herself to blame for that one. Zoro turned round to Sanji, forehead throbbing. Well wasn't this a pretty picture. Now all three of them had bloody noses. He grabbed the cook's tie and pulled him close.

'You listen to me. Since I've joined this crew I've been sliced open, shot, stabbed, punched, blown up, set on fire, gored, drilled, nearly drowned, catapulted, electrocuted, crucified, turned into a wax statue, eaten alive, spit out again... and that's fine! It's all in a day's work. What is not fine is turning into a woman and being groped by the likes of you, you perverted love love machine demon idiot chain-smoking dartboard-brow I-think-I'm-god's-gift-to-women-lech of a cook!'

Somewhere there was a hysterical woman screaming all of this and shaking Sanji back and forth as a sort of punctuation of each grief.

Perhaps for the first time in his life, Sanji was no longer enjoying being manhandled by a woman.

He stared at Zoro with a look of utter disbelief. 'Damn...It is you.'

Really? It didn't feel like Zoro anymore. Holy crap! What the hell was this body switch doing to him? And not just him. Sanji's horrified stare had moved to Zoro's hunched body, his mind blowing fuses at the sight of a lady grabbing a very unlady-like area in a very unlady-like way. Zoro had to hurry up and threaten her while Sanji was still insensible, he wouldn't get away with it otherwise.

'Switch us back!'

'No,' came the muffled reply.

Zoro bared his teeth. 'Switch my body back or I'll-'

Elaine looked up, tears of pain in her eyes.

'Or you'll what? Beat me up? You've already done that.'

Zoro stared, appalled, at the pained look on his own face, accompanied by batting eyelashes. Batting. Eyelashes.

'Don't hurt her!' Sanji yelled.

'You stay out of this!'

'Look at her, she's in pain! It might be your body but it's still her inside! You can't hurt a lady!'

'I'll hurt you, bastard!' Zoro snapped.

The cries came from behind them. Zoro turned.

'There she is!'

'Get her!'

Five men, all armed, were running towards them. Pirates, from the looks of it.

'I can't fight like this.' Whether he was in his own body or not, he was still Zoro, the man who could instill terror in his enemies by the look he gave them alone. 'You switch us back, right now.'

Elaine whimpered. 'Don't worry, my lady,' Sanji assured her. 'We won't let you get hurt.'

She hesitated, but the men were coming dangerously close.

'Jō-dan Switch!'

The world whited out.

Zoro was back in his body. Ignoring the throbbing pain, he swiveled round. He put Wadō in his mouth, drew Kitetsu and Shūsui and charged towards the men alongside Sanji. Whoever these bastards were, they were going to regret showing up when they had.

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tbc...Yes, there's more! They haven't even found a trace of the crew yet! And who's the mysterious devil-fruit-user?