~Chapter 6~

If that poser wanted to pretend he was Sokka, that was fine. But I was not going to wait to be raped! It was like paying for moldy food; I wouldn't do it. I doubted any girl would...

I yawned tiredly as I walked down the street. The buildings all felt the same. Wooden and old and reeking of crime. I wanted so badly to get out, but I would never allow myself to make the same mistakes I'd been making. Once I was out, I'd find my way back to Aang with my new little baby. I would obliterate anyone who dared to get in my way. Besides, I had a promise to Zuko, too. I promised him I'd keep the baby safe. I promised myself I'd keep it safe...

I felt the jagged edge of a potential splinter, and removed my hand from the wall. The last thing I needed was another injury, especially one that drew blood. I was so tired after being raped. I guess I should've been used to it by now...I'd been raped over and over so many times before. But it didn't change in the sense that each time hurt worse than the last.

I had to keep moving. I had to be strong for the little baby inside me, if not for myself. It was still growing, still developing...still living. I could tell by the strong, steady heartbeat it emitted. That little heart jammed my senses, but it was the only way I knew it was alive and well.

My knees buckled beneath me, and the rest of me followed. I didn't even feel the pain from when I hit the ground. Just then I noticed that liquid was surrounding my body. I gently brushed my hand over my entire body, searching for my new wound. I knew the warm liquid was blood. Had to be. Water was too precious to be wasted on frivolities here in this disgusting wasteland. It definitely wasn't raining, so there was no doubt in my mind that I was seeping blood.

Right under the last rib in my ribcage, a deep gash was leaking. I covered it with my hand and waited impatiently for the pain to stop. I knew I needed to stay still, for the gash was long and deep and it had probably just narrowly missed my lungs. Where and when had I gotten this?

My eyes were about to close but immediately shot open when I heard a voice cry out, "She was just here a second ago!" Another voice joined in with, "C'mon, she couldn't have gotten far if she was as weak as you said she was."

Instantly, I knew they were talking about me. Why were they still searching for me? That boy said he'd be back, he never said anything about hunting me down. He seemed nice, like he wanted to help me...but then, they all did at first.

I forced my exhausted body to get itself together and crawl if it had to. My legs would hardly obey my wishes. I grasped a ledge on the wall I'd collapsed by and hefted myself up. It was hard, since I hadn't eaten in so long, just to lift myself off the ground. My muscle was now taking all the damage as my body ate it away. Soon there would be nothing left, and I would perish.

I was slowly dying.

I lifted one leg up, and then the other, making them follow my orders to keep moving. I found it more painful than usual with an open wound in my side.

If I lived to the baby's birth, I knew exactly what I'd name it. Kokoro, meaning 'heart', suited very well. After all, I was going through everything just to keep it alive; I wasn't about to let it die now, and definitely not without a name.

I chanced upon another alley...or the same one I was just in. I honestly didn't know. Everything felt the same and I couldn't see anything to so much as hint at something different. There was no landmark I could follow, no texture in the ground I walked on, no changes whatsoever! It had amazed me that I had nothing to go by yet I'd survived blindly this whole time.

I couldn't feel the sun. I couldn't feel the cold that threatened to take my life tonight. I couldn't feel anything in between. I was completely numbed. I was far beyond exhausted from running right after being raped. I was starving to death and I knew that if I couldn't find enough food, I would surely die before the baby was born. And if I died, I would take Kokoro with me.

If I had any chance of living to see another day, I would have to stop and rest. I could probably withstand one more rape. But I couldn't keep running like this. It was too strenuous physically.

I couldn't keep thinking. I huddled up against a corner of the alley and almost instantaneously fell asleep. If they found me, so be it. If they passed by without noticing me, then great!

A raindrop woke me up. Rain always spelled disaster for me. It always posed a serious and deadly threat. The rainclouds blocked out the warming power of the sun, while the rain itself caused me to lose more body heat than I could possibly afford. And as weak as I was, I couldn't afford to lose much of it.

I pressed myself as close as humanly possible to the corner of the alley and waited out the storm, keeping myself alive by motions of shivering.

"Toph!" I heard in the far distance. "Toph, where are you?"

Few people knew my name, but I knew that some people knew it and used it to their devious advantage. I wouldn't allow my mistakes to take my life. I would be strong; I would suffer through this alone if I had to.

"You said she couldn't have gotten far!" Sokka yelled at his sister.

Katara merely glared at him with a glare commonly known as the Lightning Glare. This was because it sent shivers down the spine of anyone on the receiving end of the glare. And this time, the victim was Sokka.

"Guys, we'll find her," Aang interjected. "Try to think about Toph for a second. Sokka said she couldn't recognize him. That means she doesn't even know someone's out there looking for her. I bet under that tough earthbending exterior, she's scared and doesn't know what to do."

"And...speaking of scared... Well... Okay, I was going to let Toph tell you guys, but...she's pregnant," the waterbender informed.

"WHAT?" both boys shrieked at once.

The healer's blue eyes darted away from her friends as she used her waterbending to shield the group from the rain. "I know it's hard to believe..." She began explaining what Toph had told her the night she ran off.

I waited and waited and waited for a long time. I'd become quite accustomed to the rain by now, but only because it rained so much. Part of me dreaded it, yet another part was grateful for its arrival.

After the storm had passed, I sought out the cleanest pool of water I could find and dipped my hands in it. It was so soothing, no matter how cold it was. I cupped my hands and drank for the first time in a day and a half. The water was rejuvenating, to say the least. I made sure to drink as much as my stomach would hold. But my stomach couldn't hold alot anymore. Because I hadn't eaten in so long, it had shrunk.

I could care less about my stomach's size. Right now, I would give just about anything have the huge pregnant belly of a happy expecting lady who actually ate something every day. I knew I wasn't far enough along to have one of those bellies yet, but I think my point was made clear.

I went right back to my little alley corner after I was done. I had a tough choice ahead of me: leave this safety to try my luck at finding food, or stay here and try to save up enough energy to find food. I had to conserve as much energy as possible if I wanted to live, but in order to save energy, I needed the energy to save. Energy came from food, and I had neither energy nor the food from which it was derived. It was truly a vexing decision, but I had to look for food.

My legs, arms, and even head had never felt heavier. My stomach felt queasy thanks to all the water I drank. My body was racked with pain from being raped and then running for so long. It was fair to say that I was in no condition to move, let alone go off on a food hunt. However, it was something that had to be done; if I didn't do anything, my baby wouldn't live.

I cupped my hands around my mouth and breathed into them, warming them up a few degrees. Then I stood, still finding the gash in my side painful, and forced myself to walk and move forward.

Sometime during my trek, the gash had reopened, causing not only severe pain but also unnecessary blood loss. It was horribly bad on my part, because now anyone could follow the trail of blood I was undoubtedly leaving behind. I'd heard that blood was red. I didn't know what red was, though. Could red be easily seen? Was it noticeable? I hoped for my sake that red was a color that blended in with the ground, whatever color the ground was.

I stopped and leaned against the nearest wall to catch my breath and let the pain from my wound pass. I wasn't having too much trouble breathing, meaning the gash was only skin-deep...maybe muscle-deep. Point was, it hadn't hit my lungs, and it didn't seem to be deadly. I considered myself lucky...this time. I'd have to be more careful in the future.

I prodded the open wound a little bit with my pinkie finger. It was still painful, but it wasn't so painful that it couldn't be shrugged off for the sake of my unborn child. I pushed off the wall and started moving again. A good part of me was hoping I'd go into labor a little bit earlier than usual so I could regain my 'sight' earlier, but the smaller part of me was scolding the larger part for even thinking about things like that. I firmly agreed with the smaller part of me.

I heard footsteps coming toward me and pressed myself against the wall I was currently following. But they seemed to be in a hurry and turned in a different direction. I started breathing again and continued walking. It awed me that just a few months ago, or what I assumed was a few months ago, I would've stood up to the intruder even if completely blind. For some reason, now I'd changed. I was no longer my strong self that others admired. No, I was weak and helpless. I wasn't naive anymore. I couldn't trust anyone around here. They were all the same; all dangerous and all twisted. They weren't my friends, even if they said they were.

The day went by very slowly. I didn't find any food. There was plenty of water everywhere and the sun was especially warming, but food was essential. The gash on my side had clotted and reopened several times, making the day excruciating. Usually, though, after about twenty minutes of lingering motionlessly by a wall, the pain would dull enough for me to make headway. Except, I didn't make any headway.

I felt the sun's warmth fading and slumped down against a new wall. Well, it might've been new, might've been old, might've been a wall I'd slept by before. I had no idea.

"Toph! Toph!" I heard someone's ragged voice shouting in the far distance. "Where are you, Toph?"

I gasped as I felt my wound reopen for the hundredth time that day. It seemed I'd leaned over too much and the scab had split. I didn't have the energy to care anymore. With the sunlight fading, my energy always went with it. I was no longer my chirpy, energetic self. I had been broken in mind, spirit, and body. The only thing that kept me going was my baby, who didn't deserve to die before it had a chance to live.

I closed my eyes for what was sure to be the last time.

A/N

Another chapter that nobody will review...yay. Frankly, I don't even know why I bother to update this story anymore. Do you people not understand that by reviewing my story, you're helping me to get better as an author? I would LOVE to hear your opinions and requests, if I haven't made that clear already. Even criticism would help! And if there's a plot hole I need to patch up, how am I supposed to know unless someone points it out?

PLEASE REVIEW! (though I doubt any of you will)