Chapter 6

Rangiku pursed her lips tight disapprovingly. "Momo." Her voice was cool, clearly with a lot of effort on her part.

Momo looked at her inquisitively.

"I don't think it's up to me to fix anything. He's old enough to decide things for himself."

"I thought you said you two are not fighting anymore."

Rangiku stood up. Collecting the empty tea cups, she walked towards her small kitchen and replied, "Yep. No fighting. Or anything else for that matter."

"Rangiku san." Momo frowned at her as she started washing the dishes with her back towards her. "I don't like what he's been doing. There must be something we could do."

This time she was annoyed. "Momo. Toshiro is a grown man. He doesn't need me or you to baby him anymore. He's past that age a long time ago. If he wants to screw a different girl every night, it's not my…our place to… have an opinion." her voice was steady and emotionless.

"Rangiku." Momo exclaimed after her choice of words, "What are you saying?"

"Simply that it's none of our business what he does in his personal life."

"He loves you." Momo stood up and suddenly became serious. "Like a man loves a woman."

Rangiku's busy hands stopped for a moment. She thanked all the deities there ever existed that she was not facing Momo at that exact moment.

"Momo. It's late. Please go home."

"Rangiku san, please tell me what happened…"

"Momo!" her voice vibrated menacingly inside her small kitchen. "I'll see you later."

Momo stared at her back for few minutes before muttering her goodbyes and leaving the apartment.

The moment she was gone, Rangiku stooped her shoulders and scowled. She was angry, hurt and confused, all at the same time.

He loves her? Yet he won't…

She dropped the unfinished dishes and slowly slipped out the small balcony and jumped up on the tiled roof.

Sitting down she hugged her knees and shuddered as she remembered that night. She could remember his every touch that boiled the blood in her veins and his every word that sent blood in the same veins to chill.

If only someone would tell her what to feel.

She suddenly jumped off the roof and stormed towards his quarter.

"Why are you here?" Toshiro's voice spoke of imminent danger.

She stilled her heart at the sight of freshly showered shirtless form with tamed wet hair, which only messed with the mixture of feelings inside her. Everything about the current moment reminds her about that night. But she kept her voice firm "Can I talk to you?"

"About what?" he eyed her with suspicion.

She took in a sharp breath. "Momo is chewing my ears off. She thinks I have something to do with your…" she crossed her arms and looked away. "... I don't know... fall from grace or whatever."

He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"The way you've been acting since… "Her face reddened a little as she averted her eyes away from his, still angry.

He spoke after a moment of silence. "I don't want to talk about this."

She glared at him heatedly. For a moment she wished she could burn him to ashes.

"This?" Her voice was quiet yet the anger that emanated from that single word was obvious.

He looked uncomfortable. For the first time in a while he was a little alarmed.

"Or did you think just by not talking about it, it would go away?" Rangiku chewed out the next words.

He sighed, he knew they would have to talk eventually. "Matsu… Rangiku." suddenly the cold indifference vanished from his face and he spoke with clarity. "Do you want to have a sit?"

Her eyes widen a little. They were still standing at the door. Silently she stepped inside. He leaned in to close the door behind her and she jumped slightly in alarm.

A look of guilt played across his face for a moment but he quickly calmed and closed the door before walking inside.

"Tea?" Toshiro casually walked towards his kitchen leaving Rangiku to find a seat.

She gaped at his back with surprise. Tea?

She shook away her wonder and tried not to get distracted by his bare torso or the absence of I'm-going-chew-your-head-off attitude. She reminded herself she was angry. Very angry.

It doesn't matter if he's the adorable boy she cherished and cared for or the man who protected and stood by her all these years. Or that it is so painfully hard to look away from him. It was only a matter of time he went all dark and playboy-y. But that's not the issue here.

She's very very angry because…

"Tea?" he asked again, looking at her intently. It's been a while since he looked at her like that.

"Umm… okay…!" she looked away and hid a slight blush and quickly mentally chastised herself for feeling like this. Some tea would be good for this sudden case of dry throat she's experiencing.

He handed her the steaming cup of tea, making sure that their fingers don't touch.

They sat across from one another, occasionally locking their gaze.

Finally Rangiku cleared her throat. "It's Momo..."

His eyebrows raised a little.

"… She thinks… she suspects something happened between us…" she paused and realised how hard it is to talk about this. Once again she feels exposed under her yukata. "She thinks I've got something to do with how you've been acting out with all the sudden drinking smoking and… girls."

His eyes widen a little. She spied a sense of discomfort in his posture. Rangiku waited a long moment for his response which never came. He sat there uncomfortably, staring at his cup.

"Do you have anything to say about that?"

"Does it bother you?" he suddenly looked at her straight. Something inside her chest stirred.

"Huh?" she asked before she could think.

"All these… things, you've heard about me… does it bother you?" his jaws have tightened and the turquoise eyes were burning again.

She stuttered under the intensity of his gaze. "Me?"

"Yes. Matsumoto. You."

Again a long silence, and no one spoke for the minute that stretched away.

It does.

"It's none of my business what you do with who." she worked hard at keeping her voice calm.

"Well, in that case…" he finally looked away. "Why are you here?"

"She also thinks that… you love me." she didn't know her face would heat up when she says that, but it did, very quickly and profusely. "Like… love me love me…"

He almost burnt his tongue with the tea. That Momo! He wanted to strangle her. He pressed down his temple and took in a frustrated breath. "I need to have a chat with her about it."

It was another moment they sat there uncomfortably.

"Toshiro… that night…."

"Rangiku." He looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry for all the dirty things I've called you. You should know that's not what I think you are."

She looked at him wide eyed. He's asking for forgiveness. But only for ...

"Are you seriously asking for forgiveness for calling me a…?"

"Yes." He replied normally, as if that was all he did, used some bad words.

She couldn't believe this. It was as if calling her a whore was a major crime while treating her like one was something to forget about. She clenched her fist.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and both spun their head.

"Hitsugaya Taichou…" a faint girly voice called out for him from the other side. He speedily stood up and arrived at the door.

Rangiku spied a nervous looking girl behind his body.

"… Please don't come here anymore Yumi."

"… It's Yuki"

"Yuki. Don't come here anymore."

"…but…" her large brown eye momentarily landed on Rangiku through the openings between his torso and limbs.

"Goodnight" He slammed the door shut.

Rangiku's clenched fist tightened their grip as she focused her glare on her cuppa tea in front of her. As he sat back down in front of her she spoke up.

"I lied." she hissed "It bothers me."

He looked at her with his eyebrows raised inquisitively.

"It bothers me how you're treating these girls like toys. Just like it bothered me when you threw me out like garbage after you made lo… forced me… argh… I don't know… whatever that was… and … umm… it bothers me." she barked with a slight redness on her cheeks.

She bit her lips and tried to control the flood of feelings that is pouring into her chest. She took a deep breath and calmed her voice, "It bothers me that you never had the decency to say sorry and instead treated me like a slave at work… always going off like a time bomb… like I've done something wrong. Even if you beg, I don't know if I can forgive…"

"I'm not going to ask you to forgive me Rangiku." His voice was eerily calm, eyes watching her every move.

He's not even a bit sorry? She looked at him incredulously. What happened to all his morals and ethics?

"I don't think you should forgive me." he looked tired and rested his temple on his hands.

She frowned in surprise. Why?

He stood up. His eyes hooded, she couldn't read anything in them anymore. "It's getting late."

He's telling her to leave. Why does he look like all hope is lost for him? She was confused again.

"Toshiro…" her voice trembled.

Out of all the feelings stirring inside her chest the feeling to comfort him grew stronger. She wanted to touch him.

"Go home."

She took a moment to herself then silently followed him to the front door, he slid it open for her. As she stepped outside the door she turned around and looked at him in the eyes. "Can you at least stop with all your moodiness at work Toshiro?"

"I'll see you tomorrow Matsumoto." his stone face has reappeared.

"You'd think that you'd be treated better by the person who loves you." She muttered loudly in annoyance as he was about the slide the door close behind her. The door stopped midway and she turned around to look at his face questioningly.

His lips were pursed into a thin line and jaws tighten and she noticed a hint of redness on his cheeks. He pushed opened the door again and took in a deep breath. She realised he's trying to calm himself. Then he looked at her with eyes burning, and a thin smirk appeared on his lips for a millisecond before disappearing behind the frown.

"Here's a question for you, Matsumoto."

Her eyebrows raised first then eyes widen as he stepped outside the door, stepping towards her.

She cowered back, against the wall of the corridor with her mouth gaping at him.

He placed his hands on the wall next to her and leaned towards her. He took his time taking in the horrified look on her face with sad eyes then sighed loudly, "why didn't you stop me that night?"

"Umm…" she couldn't take her eyes off his. It was just like before, she felt her body was not listening to her brain.

He leaned forward again, avoiding touching her by inches. "'stop' or 'no' aren't that hard to say are they?"

She felt his warm breath on her face while trying to blend into the wall behind her.

"I'm not using that as an excuse or anything." he sighed again and looked away. Slowly pulling away he muttered. "I'll never lay a finger on you again Matsumoto. Be sure of that."

Leaving her still pressed against the wall he walked back inside his apartment. Before closing the door he muttered, "Have a good night Rangiku."

She stayed rooted to the spot, trying to calm her speeding heart that is about the burst out of her chest.

...